ALL NOVEL 9: Calamity is Luckier in This Chapter
Calamity's blade severed the five-eyed head, leaving only the nine-eyed head which was promptly crushed by Grace's hammer.
"By all the gods' anuses, hated fighting this monster," Grace complained as she wiped the gore off her hammer with a handkerchief which came away spotless.
"This one did have way too many heads!" Calamity agreed, glad her sword was apparently self-cleaning.
"Doing well?" Grace inquired.
"Other than the issues recovering my memories? Yeah. And even that's going, somewhat." Dismissing her sword to its secret storage component in her jacket, Calamity winked at Grace. "And you?"
Grace seemed to take that wink with grace. "Well. Smithing's going briskly. Like always, lotta demand for weapons in a labyrinth town. The kid?"
Calamity grinned. "School's treating Mirn well, particularly once they tricked their bullies into getting caught a few times and played a few mean tricks back."
"Kid's getting really cunning," Grace commented.
Calamity laughed. "Yeah! They certainly don't get it from me, I'm not that smart! All of my regained memories of school are of me struggling. I've been encouraging them to take school more seriously than I did!"
Grace smiled. "So... Second date after this?"
Calamity considered. "Hmm, after this I pick up Mirn from school. Can drop them off at your family's complex."
"The family kids like playing with Mirn, sure, that works." Grace smiled.
"I'm certainly... excited for our date--wait, that came out sounding more sultry than I intended!" Now Calamity's expression became flustered.
Grace broke into a laughing fit, after which she said, "Certainly more fun curses than before. But wouldn't mind. Gotten to know you two weeks, that's plenty for me. Just... one thing you ought know first."
"Hmm?" Calamity leaned forward curiously.
"Got a dick, in addition to the usual equipment for a girl down there. Got it as a whim one evolution. Ended up keeping it." Grace shrugged. "This is where some leave. If you prefer, can keep things platonic."
Calamity blinked. "Huh. Well, that doesn't really matter. I've slept with all sorts of folks. Wait! I need to pick up some protection!"
Grace said, "Got some on me, but, yeah, good idea to get some yourself."
"Gonna dash then! Be right back!" Calamity bolted toward the door.
~~~
Cuddling naked with a scaly wall of muscles was surprisingly nice, Calamity reflected. Grace was such a sexy woman. Yes, Calamity felt like a really lucky girl. The lovemaking had been good too. Just then, her hair burst into flames and with a twitch of her Remove Sigil she put out the fire. Stupid curses. Half-heartedly listening to Voice's announcement that she had gotten the Burn Sigil added to her Affliction Word, she started getting out of bed.
Grace stirred and turned toward Calamity, saying, "Oh, yeah. Heads up, family's planning to do an intervention."
"Huh? What for?" Calamity tilted her head in confusion.
Grace explained, "They've concerns you aren't valuing your wellbeing enough. One thing to put yourself in harm's way as a frontliner. Perfectly normal. Not so normal is shoving your arm into a wild monster's maw to just to prevent the possibility of it biting anyone else. Other ways you could have handled situations like that."
Calamity's ears folded down. "I can handle it."
Grace sighed. "You don't have to. We were doing well at keeping the kids safe before you showed up. What happens if you get decapitated?"
A memory flashed into Calamity's mind. "I would just regrow my head. It's happened before."
"You... what." Grace stared, all four of her eyes blinking.
"Yeah, just got back a memory of that happening." Calamity shrugged.
Grace rubbed her head. "...What. Okay, forget that. Think about this: what kind of example are you setting for the kids?"
"For the kids?" Calamity's ears lowered again.
"Yeah. Already had to warn them several times that they shouldn't follow your example." Grace put her hand on Calamity's shoulder. "Kids think you're cool, want to be like you."
"What, oh flower no, no don't do that kids." Calamity panicked a little before managing to collect herself. "Alright, alright, I'll try to set a better example."
Grace sighed again, this time in relief. "Alright. Will tell the family I talked sense into you. So they don't try to ambush you with this intervention."
"Yeah, no, just you saying it is enough, don't need the whole family cornering me about this." Calamity shook her head then continued, "Yeah, I'll be careful."
"Good. Got time. Another round?" Grace reached down to fondle Calamity's ass, making her intent clear.
"Flower yes!" Calamity said, once again wishing she could use vulgar words.
Grace said, "Oh. Am perfectly fine you doing this stuff with others if you want. What I'm saying is, open relationship okay? Can do closed if you rather."
"So you and I can sleep with all the hotties we want? Sure!" Calamity grinned.
Grace embraced Calamity with her four arms. "Good, good. Now can you do that with your tentacles again?"
~~~
It was too bad Grace couldn't come on this labyrinth run; she was busy with a large weapon order from a monster-run mercenary company. Similarly, Mirn was at school and Grace's family was either at school, a different job, or just busy in general. Instead, Calamity had used a team matching app. It was one with a really good reputation; while it had a paid subscription, it was pretty much the standard for professional labyrinth divers as much of the subscription price went toward operating costs for a server-spirit that used magical sorting to find good matches.
As a result, Calamity had gotten matched up with the following teammates:
1. Thornno, a heavily armored dwarf bearing two spiked shields, one of them massive. She had the Shield, Armor, and Metal Words. She tended to guffaw easily and make jokes.
2. Seeker, a person of unknown species completely wrapped in obscuring turban, robes, and masks who had the Secret, Trap, and Discovery Words. They had many interesting stories and facts to tell during the wait for the rest of the team to arrive.
3. Chainsaw, a lean androgynous monster with elfin and serpentine features who wore nearly as little as possible and toted a monstrous chainsaw. She had whip-serpent and spit-serpent in her species mix, resulting in her possessing the ability to rapidly lash out with startling strength for her leanness and spit out a dangerous corrosive venom. As well, she had the Horror and Chainsaw Words. When Calamity greeted her, she grinned and waved then made an innuendo-filled gesture. Calamity immediately liked her.
4. Charn, who was the biggest human man Calamity had ever seen (she was pretty sure of that even with her missing memories). He wore the black and red rubber uniform and gasmask of the Strange Medical Corps, who had arisen to combat the spread of the Corruption when it consumed nearly a whole small country. They were known for providing medical aid to anyone, fighting the Corruption wherever it showed up, and also their weird self-purification practices. He had the Medicine, Purity, Rubber, and Needle Words.
5. The final member hadn't shown up quite yet but Calamity was a little starstruck about her. The Beyonder musician Clover, who instead of causing chaos like many Beyonders had taken to music like a fanatic. Master of many forms and styles of music, a kickass dancer, writer of several high-selling songs, and over all a nice person. Plus she was hot in her 'human' form and super cute in her little void-bunny form. Yes, Calamity was happy Clover had come from beyond the stars to this world. Anyways Clover, with the equivalent strength of an Adept and powerful musical boosts, would let the team go deeper than they would otherwise be able to.
"So what's your story?" Chainsaw asked Charn, "Didn't expect to see one of you SMC lot running a labyrinth."
Charn nodded. "We do not often do so, but now and then we send people to labyrinths to take samples from the monsters within to check for the Corruption. So I will be taking samples from every monster you defeat. I also bear useful trade items to convince the civilized labyrinth dwellers to let me take their blood."
Calamity took a look at the oversized backpack the man was wearing. Yup. He sure was carrying a lot of stuff. Noticing the look, Charn said, "My medical kit, trade items, and other useful items. I keep the medical kit within easy reach but I will mostly be using this healing gun to patch you all up. Since you explained your self-regeneration capabilities, I will be applying it more lightly to you."
It was at this point that there was a flash of colors and lights, and a white-haired, dark-skinned woman in an elaborate outfit worthy of an idol, that Calamity recognized as Clover, suddenly appeared with a musical riff accompanying her. "Heyas, I'm Clover! Missed anything big? My, you're a bunch of cuties!" She grinned and waved. "I'll be buffing y'all to the gills so you'll be strong as steelhides!"
Steelhides were a particularly mighty species of moose-like monsters known for their nearly impenetrable hides. Calamity cheerily waved back and Thornno nodded then said, "So, the strategy we discussed in the app chat?"
With the collected agreements of the gathered team, the labyrinth dive officially started.