Cheat day

Crocodile and Bird (3)

└So what are we doing today?

└Let’s have a World Cup.

└Let’s do a mukbang.

“Today, I want to talk about ice cream. I’ve been diagnosed with diabetes for about 15 months now, and during that time, so many new ice cream and snack products have come out. Just looking at them makes me want to eat them so much! So I plan to reminisce about what I’ve tried and also ask you about the ones I haven’t.”

I opened a web browser.

“I used to love Lotte ice cream, you know? So today, we’ll focus on that. Once we hit a certain view count, I’ll check out Haitai and Binggrae as well.”

I accessed the Lotte Wellfood website and navigated to the ice cream section.

The first item listed was the Turtle Bar.

“The Turtle Bar. I loved this when I was in elementary school. It’s coated in chocolate, and the inside is vanilla, which makes it delicious. A perfect combination! But honestly, I probably ate more of the Turtle Eggs than the Turtle Bar, right?”

└Yeah!

└It didn’t come out for a while, but once it did, I couldn’t stop eating! Hahaha.

└Isn’t that a condom?

└Have you never seen a condom? The Turtle Egg is much thicker.

└…I never had the need for it.

└I’m sorry.

“The Turtle Egg is tasty, but the downside is it’s hard to eat without scissors. I’ve seen kids try to tear it open with their teeth, ending up just holding a lump of ice cream in their hands. Ah, I want to eat it.”

Next up is the Pig Bar.

“Who hasn’t had a Pig Bar in Korea, right? Do you know why it’s called the Pig Bar?”

└?

└I know this one! The chocolate part is the skin, the vanilla is the fat, and the red part is the meat, so it’s like pork belly.

└Whoa!

└That’s wild.

└That’s so gruesome!

“No! You crazy! I can’t believe you thought that was true. It’s called the Pig Bar because it was released in 1983, which was the Year of the Pig. That’s why it’s called that.”

└That’s even more ridiculous.

└You’re joking, right? Hahaha. Who names their own product like that?

“It’s true! Look it up. And you know how the strawberry syrup in the Pig Bar has decreased? But originally, the Pig Bar didn’t have any strawberry syrup at all. Older folks will remember this, right?”

└It didn’t have it back then.

└Really?

└I looked it up, and there was none from 1983 to 1995.

└You’re an oldie!

“I don’t really like strawberry, so I preferred the way it used to be. When you peeled off the skin, the chocolate biscuit would crumble. That was the good old Pig Bar. By the way, did you know this is halal food?”

└What are you talking about? Hahaha.

└That name doesn’t sound halal at all.

└There was an article about how it couldn’t be sold after being sent to Malaysia for export because it had the word ‘pig’ in its name, even after getting halal certification.

└Hahaha! That’s insane!

└The butterfly effect is crazy!

“I didn’t have much interest in Cookie-O, but Byeollan Bar is a legend. It had candy inside, chocolate, and on top, coffee-flavored ice cream, and the chocolate was really good. I liked that I could eat candy while eating ice cream. Lotte really made some good stuff. Do you remember Al-Gum Bar? It’s the one with gum in a stick.”

└Oh, I remember that!

└I’d buy one for 300 won while playing in the playground, and it felt like the world was mine! Hahaha.

└There was always that kid asking for gum!

└Is this a gathering of YouTube uncles?

└The Byeollan Bar also had a flute!

“Right! The flute! It didn’t make a great sound, but it still felt satisfying until the end. Joanna hasn’t tried it. Tico is really good, though. I guess I have a thing for chocolate-coated vanilla ice cream.”

After Tico, they introduced Tetris, an ice cream I had never seen before.

“Gugugcon. The name itself is a scam.”

└Gugugcon is delicious.

└World Cone is the best!

└Gugugugugugugu.

└Why did we skip Tetris?

“Gugugcon. Gugug. Kyu. Isn’t it cute? Cute things are the best! Enjoy your Gugugcon!”

└What the heck! Hahaha!

└Oh, my eyes.

└A 35-year-old uncle acting cute like this is priceless.

└You seem to like chocolate flavors.

“Jaws Bar and Screw Bar—honestly, if we had to pick the top two Lotte ice creams, it would be these two, right? Jaws Bar came out in ‘83, and Screw Bar came out in ‘85. The Lotte ice creams of the 80s were the best. They still taste good today!”

└Jokbok!

└For real, they still taste good. In the summer, when you turn on the fan and eat a Screw Bar, it’s like winter.

└It looks weird, the Lotte Screw Bar~

└I even remember the CM song for Screw Bar!

Curious about what Jokbok meant, I looked it up, and it turns out it’s an abbreviation for Jaws Bar, Screw Bar, and Watermelon Bar.

I guess it’s similar to the feeling of Okmae Wakka from back in the day.

“Screw Bar has apple and strawberry flavors, while Jaws Bar has orange and strawberry. Now that I think about it, how did they combine orange and strawberry? It’s really a perfect match.”

As I continued talking, the conversation became quite lengthy.

We’ve only covered one page, and it’s already three pages long, so we need to speed things up a bit.

“But there’s too much to talk about! Should we just focus on the popular ones?”

└No, no, no, no, no!

└We should go through them all.

└Oh ho!

└Don’t try to slack off; be diligent!

└We have to get through Binggrae and Haitai today.

“No, but seriously, there’s too much. I’ll only talk about my favorites. There are just too many!”

I glanced at the remaining ice creams.

There’s Ppabiko, Bangpare, Watermelon Bar, Sullaeim, Amatna, Jewel Bar, World Cone, Double Bianco, Okdongja, Selection, Choco Fudge, Chalokcorn, Wow, Wild Body, and Chaltteok Ice.

“Wait. I love them all!”

└Hahaha!

└They’re all treasures one by one!

└That’s not a phrase for this situation!

└It actually is!

└Lotte’s ice cream lineup is indeed impressive.

“But there’s one that we really need to talk about. Chalokcorn. Before I had this, I never thought of making corn into ice cream. Just thinking about it sounds unappetizing, but wow—it’s so delicious. The corn flavor, the snacks, and the corn kernels create such a unique experience. I think Chalokcorn has opened a new horizon in the ice cream world. And wow.”

└My dad ate a lot of Chalokcorn.

└Wow.

└I ate a ton of that in the army.

“Wow, you know? I think this is the best among Korean ice creams. There’s no other ice cream with this refreshing, crunchy yet smooth texture. It’s just crazy. If they had brought something like that instead of protein bars in Snowpiercer, there wouldn’t have been a revolution.”

└What are you talking about? Hahaha.

└Isn’t that true for other things too?

└But it really is delicious.

└If you see it in stores, it’s a bit noisy.

└Why?

└Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!

└Hahaha!

└Is it really that delicious?

└They’re great for side dishes, too.

└This one is truly delicious. I hope more places start selling it.

“Wild Body and Okdongja can be thought of together. It seems like Lotte focused on texture when they released these. They used chocolate very well. Both have different textures with every bite.”

└Wild Body was truly revolutionary.

└For real, I loved the crunchy bits in between the ice cream.

└A lot of ice creams like that came out in 2000—Wild Body, Encho, etc.

└There are trends even in ice cream!

└So how do we categorize them?

“Jaws Bar, Screw Bar, and Pig Bar feel like the Pelé and Maradona of soccer players. They’re a bit of a special case. They still taste great, but they feel a bit overshadowed since so many delicious things have come out.”

It’s certain that Jaws Bar is number one, but the rest are a bit ambiguous.

“As I mentioned earlier, Wow is my number one. If it weren’t for my diabetes, I think I could live off just Wow. After that, Sullaeim is also delicious, along with Megaton and Ppabiko.”

└I thought you were a mint chocolate fan, but you’re actually into vanilla and chocolate. I’m disappointed.

└Bingbing Bar is tasty too.

└Is Wow really that good?

└Once he gets fixated on something, that’s all he eats.

“Yeah, right. I don’t see mint chocolate anywhere. Didn’t Lotte release any mint chocolate ice cream?”

I searched and found Natuur Piforita Mint Chocolate.

“I didn’t even know this existed. I usually don’t buy things like Natuur or Häagen-Dazs because they’re too expensive.”

Reports also came in about Cookie O Mint Sand.

It seems that I preferred something like Bbangttoa over ice creams like Cookie O, so I didn’t know about those.

“I really love ice cream, but I didn’t realize how many I haven’t tried.”

Thinking about it, I felt a bit wronged.

“I feel so unfair! Why did I have to get diabetes and miss out on all this?”

└Hahaha!

└But even without diabetes, once you get older, eating anything becomes scary.

└Is this going up on YouTube?

└I want to eat ice cream too!

“Maybe? These days, I’m not involved, so I don’t know. The PD and editors are handling everything.”

└Wow, you’re just coasting by!

└Is that for real? It’s similar to how it used to be!