Cheat day

The Crocodile and the Bird (4)

I visited the Banyasikgyeong studio to do a review broadcast for the Gosu Mayo Chicken.

“Hey! Didn’t I tell you to knead it more gently?”

“…….”

Cha Ji-chan was massaging Baek Woo-jin’s shoulder.

“Be more polite about it!”

“Just do it appropriately.”

Cha Ji-chan said through clenched teeth.

“Ah, I feel dizzy. I think my blood sugar is dropping.”

Baek Woo-jin fanned himself with the back of his hand on his forehead, causing Cha Ji-chan to twitch his lips and eyebrows.

It seems he thinks Baek Woo-jin collapsed from overexertion. He’s holding back quite a bit today.

“Who told you to skip breakfast before coming out?”

I chimed in, and Baek Woo-jin pouted.

“I didn’t have time to eat.”

“Then you should carry something with you.”

“Yeah. What if Chan-yong hadn’t seen you?”

Ju Ji-seung also scolded Baek Woo-jin.

“……Thank you.”

Baek Woo-jin bowed in gratitude.

“If you understood, give my shoulders a good rub.”

When I sat in the chair, Baek Woo-jin lazily came over to massage my shoulders.

“Hey! You should show some respect to your benefactor!”

He really put some force into it.

Though not as good as the director of the aesthetic shop I go to, it felt quite nice.

“Is this enough?”

“Yeah. Keep it up.”

I could have said something, but I didn’t. I guess he’s thankful.

I pulled Baek Woo-jin’s hand down.

As we chatted while waiting, it was time for the broadcast, and I sat in front of the camera.

Since it was a full collaboration with the Nam Sadang troupe, 40,000 people joined as soon as we started.

└Is Baek Woo-jin okay?

└He was said to have collapsed, but he looks fine?

└Give me chicken!

└Is it an eating broadcast today?

“I’m okay!”

Baek Woo-jin spread his arms wide and made his elbows into right angles, causing Cha Ji-chan to marvel at how he could lack biceps and examined his forearm.

“Today, we’ll be cooking chicken marinated in ginger, pepper, and salt, wrapped in brown rice, and served with a sauce made from green onions, eggs, garlic, cumin, cilantro, and olive oil.”

└It’s a healthy dish.

└What is this?

└With cumin and cilantro, it sounds like some Latin American or Southeast Asian chicken dish?

└Cumin is typically used in Chinese dishes, right?

└Cumin is also used a lot in the US, Mexico, and Greece.

“Cheers.”

I took out four servings of the signature menu item, the Gosu Mayo Chicken from Padadak Padak.

I neatly arranged the golden-brown fried chicken, fresh green onions without the spicy taste, and the Gosu Mayo sauce.

└Wait, what? Hahaha.

└Isn’t that chicken? Hahaha.

└Don’t scam us.

└Oh, is this the product?

└Looks fine to me!

└I hate cilantro.

└Even during the ad, this is so fabricated, haha.

└When you say mayonnaise is made with eggs and olive oil, it sounds healthy.

└There is olive oil mayonnaise, though, haha.

“Everyone knows that, thankfully, Padadak Padak supported us with chicken for our show, Happy to Be Here. Today, I’m introducing the main menu, Gosu Mayo Chicken.”

“But why four pieces?”

“Huh?”

“Chan-yong can’t eat one piece.”

I was momentarily speechless from the embarrassment and absurdity.

“Hey, you’re making me feel bad.”

“I couldn’t eat one, right?”

“I wasn’t feeling well then. I’m just for side dishes!”

Baek Woo-jin chuckled.

“You’re so skinny, you’d only eat the breast? You’d just eat the legs and wings and collapse afterward.”

I actually experienced what it feels like to have blood rush to my head for the first time.

As I glared with wide-open eyes, Ju Ji-seung was snickering, and Cha Ji-chan took it a step further.

“Honestly, eating broadcasts have kind of lost their charm. When you did the chicken show, you ate it so unappetizingly.”

“Right, right.”

“Doesn’t Chan-yong hate cilantro too? He always asks to have it removed when he eats pho.”

└Wow. He can’t even eat cilantro? How did this guy do eating broadcasts?

└Hahaha, look at Ban-chan’s eyes rolling! Hahaha.

└It’s truly pathetic. How can an eating broadcast star not eat one piece of chicken?

└He’s become obsolete.

└The name of the side dish shop is wasted on him.

└That’s harsh! Hahaha.

└You can’t eat cilantro, but you’re going to eat Gosu Mayo?

└But what is Gosu Mayo?

└I’ve never even heard of it.

└Isn’t it amazing that this guy has endured for three years while watching chats like this?

└His mentality is surprisingly strong.

└Haha, what good is a strong mentality if you can’t even eat one piece of chicken? Hahaha.

The viewers started to scratch my itch too.

But it felt good in a way.

Since I couldn’t even finish one piece during the last chicken broadcast and I tend to avoid cilantro, if I finish the Gosu Mayo Chicken, it would have a significant advertising effect.

It was impressive to see how smoothly everyone had set the angles without practicing beforehand.

“Hmm. It’s delicious.”

“It’s super crispy.”

“The brown rice adds a nice texture.”

We each took turns commenting.

I had tried the chicken by itself, without the green onions or sauce, and its crispiness was exceptional.

“It’s crispy, and there’s also juice coming out.”

“Oh. It’s really good.”

Juices flowed out as the fat melted under the crispy batter.

“Let’s mix it.”

Baek Woo-jin piled the green onions on top of the chicken and drizzled the Gosu Mayo sauce.

“Hey, why are you pouring it like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“You said that sweet and sour pork gets soggy, right?”

“This is meant to be eaten like this.”

I was dumbfounded.

“I don’t eat cilantro much. I need to dip it little by little. How can you pour it all on like that?”

“This is how it’s meant to be eaten! Chairman Gyeom-ho wouldn’t have made the right amount for no reason! There’s a reason why they give you this much.”

“Then do Chinese chefs just make it casually?”

└How long are we going to argue about pouring versus dipping? Hahaha.

“Baek Woo-jin is driving me crazy, haha! But sweet and sour pork is originally meant to be poured over, right? Haha.”

“Guys, I don’t think we’ll ever reach a conclusion on this.”

“Why is there such a disagreement about chicken, haha?”

“Baek Woo-jin is right about this. There’s a reason the sauce is served separately.”

“The representative has researched and created the best flavor, haha!”

Just as Baek Woo-jin was about to argue, Ju Ji-seung stuffed a piece of coriander mayo fried chicken into Baek Woo-jin’s mouth.

He started chewing, surprised, but then his eyes widened.

Out of curiosity, I picked up a piece too.

The crunchiness of the fried chicken alternated with the crispness of the scallion, while the greasy flavor was balanced by the aroma of the herbs.

The space between them was filled with the coriander mayo sauce.

I could faintly smell the unique soapy scent of coriander, mixed with the spicy kick of cumin and the savory taste of mayonnaise—an exquisite combination.

“What is this?”

It was a flavor I had never tasted before.

“It feels like a cat. When you first bring it home, it won’t come out of the cage. If you pretend not to notice, it’ll slowly emerge after a few days. Then, when you try to pet it after feeding, it suddenly pulls away. You realize, ‘Oh, it’s starting to open up and trust me.’ But then it runs away again. That’s the feeling.”

“?????”

“What are you talking about, haha!”

“Note this down… coriander mayo fried chicken tastes like a cat…”

“So, it’s a completely different kind of spiciness from the Cheongyang mayo, but what’s interesting is that it also has a slight curry vibe. It’s like a curry flavor mixed with a unique coriander scent in the mayonnaise. But it’s not really curry. It’s a taste that feels familiar yet unfamiliar?”

“I still don’t get it, haha!”

“Speak more clearly, haha!”

“Cumin is often used in curries, sausages, and ham. Surprisingly, it’s found in a lot of processed foods in Korea. So that’s why you might feel it tastes like curry, but it’s not exactly that.”

Ju Ji-seung added an explanation.

“Oh, I see.”

“But I understand what you mean about the side dishes. I’ve definitely had each one separately, but combined, it feels really unfamiliar. It’s like I almost get it but not quite.”

“I think it’s really delicious!”

Baek Woo-jin, who had already eaten three pieces, chimed in.

“It feels like Mexican chicken dishes, localized to suit Korean tastes.”

“In Mexico, cilantro and chicken are commonly used, so there might be similar flavors. But really, the balance is just right. The coriander scent lightly lingers in the nose.”

“Exactly. When the coriander scent is strong, it makes the dish seem unappetizing. But here, it just gives off a pleasant aroma.”

“Is it really that delicious or are they just saying that for the advertisement?”

“From what I see, they may seem a bit foolish, but surprisingly, they aren’t that foolish. They wouldn’t lose their credibility by claiming something tasteless is delicious.”

“Hahaha!”

“I still can’t grasp the idea of coriander mayo.”

“Oh, if I win the event, do I get two fried chickens or one coriander mayo chicken?”

“What do you mean, I look foolish?”

“Your side dishes are a bit like that.”

Cha Ji-chan pointed at me.

“What did I do?”

“Just look at the ‘Baek Ban Debate’. The answer is right there.”

“Right! This guy is really crazy! Talking about tentacles and crazy American wild dogs. It’s just…”

“Wait, if that’s the case, Ji-chan is even crazier. What kind of insane person pulls down their pants on a public broadcast?”

“Exactly! That guy, when we went to Donghae last time, he said he wasn’t insecure about his lower body and pulled his pants down. On the street? You wouldn’t know because it got edited, but go check the WTV YouTube channel. He really did it.”

“You shouldn’t speak like that! I was wearing leggings underneath!”

“That’s worse! It shows your outline!”

“Hahaha!”

“From what I hear from Cha Ji-chan, he seems normal, but his actions are crazy. That time when he said to feel the lats while doing pickaxe drills was ridiculous, haha!”

“Just looking at the competition with the Border Collie for a 10km race…”

“Baek Woo-jin thinks he’s just fine.”

“I was shocked when I saw Baek Woo-jin memorize the KTX schedule and the Seoul subway map.”

“The fact that he read and memorized the evolution of rice varieties from the county government website is absurd, haha!”

“Seriously, why would you memorize something like that, haha?”

“See? Even the chat room is saying it. They think you’re crazier.”

“He really needs to get his head examined. It’s worth studying what’s going on in there.”

“What do you mean, examine it?”

As Cha Ji-chan and I mocked him, Baek Woo-jin held his head with both hands and shouted.

“But they still think I’m nice.”

In the midst of it all, Ju Ji-seung tried to distance himself from the conversation.

We all looked at him in disbelief and laughed.

“Is this how it’s going to be?”

“Honestly, I think the obesity rate in South Korea has increased by about 1% because of you. No matter how much you love money, how could you do that?”

“You said you didn’t like cosplay, but now you’re seeking it out, right? Last time you were alone, you practiced your lines too.”

Ju Ji-seung hesitated for a moment, then passed a piece of chicken to Cha Ji-chan and handed one to Baek Woo-jin and me as well.

With food in my mouth, I just ate it. The more I chewed, the more I felt I was getting addicted to the unique flavor.

Ju Ji-seung looked at the camera and said, “Try this coriander mayo fried chicken that even makes these noisy guys quiet.”