Cheat day

To stand up

The aftermath of yesterday’s binge eating was bigger than I expected.

Guilt kept deepening, and I spent the whole day in a depressed state.

I skipped both breakfast and lunch, and I couldn’t even start the tasks I was supposed to do in the morning.

I know from experience that this situation is very dangerous, but…

I couldn’t understand myself for abandoning the efforts I had made over the past six weeks and the support and encouragement from those around me, all for the sake of mere gluttony.

Because I betrayed those who hung out with me when I was nothing.

“…….”

We must stop.

The reason depression is frightening is that thoughts are linked one after another.

Even though I know in my head that I shouldn’t have these negative thoughts, I can’t control the feelings and thoughts of falling.

I slowly got out of bed.

I don’t want to move an inch, and I’m even more reluctant to go outside, but I still have to go out.

I have to walk to the point of slightly breathlessness while listening to music to temporarily shake off my distractions.

When that state comes, I will be able to think normally again.

Because it was like that before.

I put on some clothes, pulled my hat down low, grabbed a clip and a designated trash bag, and left the house.

There is no destination.

I haven’t even set a time.

I just put on my earphones, pick any song from my playlist, and walk slowly wherever my feet take me.

My feet feel heavy.

The piano keys sound as heavy and slow as the heavy footsteps.

After the suffocating piano solo, the orchestra unfolds like a sunset.

‘What was it again?’

I’m curious about the song title, but I didn’t bother to take out my phone.

Leaning on the elegant and grand melody, I looked up at the sunset sky and sometimes down at the ground.

With an unknown charm, they leave people completely on edge.

The beautiful piano keys that follow soon after moisten the eyes and heart, just like sunlight filtering through the leaves of street trees.

By the time I arrived at the entrance of the walking path along Line 2, I remembered what this song was.

Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto No. 2.

It’s a piece I kept listening to while editing the Rachmaninoff introduction video uploaded on Ugenius.

The only classical piece I know is the one introduced by Baek Woo-jin.

This song particularly resonates with me, so I saved it to my playlist.

It’s been a while.

I really like the first movement of this piece.

Even in the midst of a tragic situation, the solemnly ringing horn and the elegant piano somehow resonate with the heart.

Rachmaninoff’s Symphony No. 1 was a major failure. I couldn’t write any songs for four years after the premiere. However, in November 1901, he made a comeback by personally performing Piano Concerto No. 2.

‘At the time, it was an incredibly difficult piece that few could perform, and it remains a beloved masterpiece to this day.’

‘It is a piece that well showcases Rachmaninoff’s genius, but it is also a piece that allows us to glimpse into his inner self during the four years following the failure of his First Symphony.’

“Even the century’s pianist and composer, Rachmaninoff, experienced great failure and went through severe depression.”

Rachmaninoff’s four years could have ended in failure. However, because I didn’t give up, it remains a period when I created the masterpiece known as Piano Concerto No. 2.

Since I listened to it more than ten times while editing, I remember roughly what Baek Woo-jin said.

Especially, the fact that four years were spent not in a slump but in creating timeless masterpieces is impressive.

Baek Woo-jin often brings this up when introducing various artists.

The great artist Pablo Picasso painted 13,500 works, but the ones we know can be counted on one hand. So, should we consider the remaining 13,490 of Picasso’s works as failed paintings?

There’s no way.

Pablo Picasso’s 13,490 points are equivalent to Rachmaninoff’s 4 years.

Everyone grows by repeatedly making mistakes and failures.

You don’t have to use someone as great as Rachmaninoff or Picasso as an example.

The reason for introducing them as examples is to shock.

The truth that even those whom many consider geniuses experience failure gives someone like me a great realization.

You don’t have to be perfect.

It’s okay to make mistakes.

If you don’t give up, you will surely achieve results.

Even if it is not something that will be recorded in human history, it tells me that it is certainly a valuable thing for me.

For example, walking three times a day for six weeks and becoming healthier in both body and mind.

For example, the fact that more people started looking for me after I studied editing for more than 8 hours a day.

For 4 to 5 years, I edited videos for various YouTubers, and through them, I also gained new opportunities.

Even though there were no significant achievements, thanks to the consistent experience of running personal broadcasts, I was able to speak up, and recently, Baekban Talk received a great response.

It’s all the result of each small task coming together.

In the meantime, there was a small blemish.

I was too lazy to take a walk after eating a few times.

Even though I studied for 8 hours a day, I often got distracted by watching YouTube in between.

I have edited videos for various YouTubers, but I only took requests from those I liked.

It’s true that I said I would consistently do personal broadcasts, but the frequency has been irregular.

I also made some unfunny jokes on the Baekban Debate.

It was the same yesterday.

Even though I couldn’t control my appetite and binge-eated, that one incident doesn’t ruin everything.

Once again, if I resolutely focus and accomplish what I can, as with everything else, it will lead to a valuable outcome for me.

“Whew.”

Even though the weather is still cool, my back is soaked with sweat. A drop that had formed on my forehead fell onto my glasses, making a mess.

Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 2 had already finished, and another piece was playing. The garbage bag I brought was now almost full.

Time to head back.

I’ll take a shower and start the stream with a smile.

***

When I started the stream, about 1,800 people joined almost immediately.

“You’ve changed.”

“What’s on today?”

“Wow, why are there so many people?”

“This isn’t usually like this.”

“Host, open the door!”

“Hello, everyone. Welcome!”

There were so many people now that I couldn’t read each username one by one like I used to.

When the viewer count was lower, the intimate, chatty atmosphere was nice, but now, trying to communicate with everyone makes the stream drag on.

I kind of miss that.

“Someone left a comment suggesting I do a Ramen World Cup today. And since I’m a bit of a ramen expert, I thought I’d share it with you all.”

“Nice, nice!”

“Storytime streams are the best.”

“LOL, you didn’t have anything else planned, did you?”

“Ottogi Jjampong for the win!”

“Isn’t Shin Ramyun the obvious number one?”

Everyone started throwing out their favorite ramen brands.

“Sales aren’t everything. Sales and taste are related, but it’s not a direct correlation. Alright, let’s get started.”

The Ramen World Cup began.

As soon as I clicked the first icon, a strong contender appeared right from the start: Spicy Neoguri vs. Snack Noodles.

“This one’s too easy. Spicy Neoguri is a bit spicier than the regular flavor, right? Snack Noodles, on the other hand, were once introduced on TV as the best ramen to eat with rice. Plus, it’s a favorite for kids.”

“This one’s Neoguri for sure.”

“Snack Noodles are tasty though.”

“LOL, kids.”

“Yeah, Snack Noodles are too plain.”

“Regular Neoguri is good, but Spicy Neoguri is unbeatable.”

As expected, many people prefer spicy Neoguri.

“But I don’t like spicy food.”

As soon as I selected the snack noodles, the chat window was flooded with question marks.

“I am Baby Chanyong.” “Because I have a child’s taste, I prefer snack noodles.”

Guaaaah

Please don’t do that.

You’re making me serious, haha.

Mr. Dang is cute.

Next is potato ramen vs kimchi ramen.

If it’s potatoes. I’m from Gangwon-do, so I’m a potato expert, you know? Most things made with potatoes are chewy and delicious. But if it’s kimchi, I’ll go.

I like kimchi ramen because it’s cheap.

It’s spicy, isn’t it?

There’s no consistency. You hated it when it was spicy earlier, but now you’re choosing the spicy ramen.

“Knowing one but not the other.” Potatoes are from Gangwon-do, right? What is kimchi? It’s South Korea. Of course, kimchi will win. Are you a traitor?

LOL

Now they’re even giving the viewers a hard time

Right? There’s Gangwon-do within South Korea

“Actually, I’ve only had potato noodles a few times.” You all feel the same way, right? But kimchi ramen is the kind of ramen the owner used to buy a lot when I lived in the goshiwon. Someone said earlier that it’s cheap. So I gave it a bit of a nostalgia boost.

When I chose kimchi ramen, it came out as Jin Ramen Spicy vs Wang Top.

It’s a big match.

“This is a bit difficult.” I really liked the spicy Jin Ramen when I was all about that spicy pride. But actually, Wang Top is also delicious. The unique thin noodles and the fun of eating them with the lid as a support are what make it special. The meat inside is delicious too.

I’m slightly worried.

“I think the taste is similar.” But instant noodles have their limits. It’s a bit difficult to add things like eggs or green onions, isn’t it? I’ll go with the spicy Jin Ramen.

Next up is Jjapagetti Bumbuk vs. Suta Noodles.

I chose jjapaguri without even thinking.

“Everyone, there’s really no reason to worry about what just happened.” Jajangmyeon eaten after playing at the swimming pool as a child. I can’t forget that taste.

I went crazy and ate it too.

The cup ramen you eat after swimming is so delicious, right? Hahaha

You said earlier that instant noodles have their limits!

It seems like it’s because it’s spicy, lol.

There’s nothing more reckless than trying to find normal logic in this broadcast.

“Jjajangmyeon is a total scam.” The container is small, but there are a lot of powdered soup packets. So, you can eat it without throwing away the water, right? That black bean sauce is a work of art. I recently had jajangmyeon that cost over 20,000 won each, you know? That moment was the best since the time I had jjajangmyeon at the swimming pool. The pool full of Jjapaguri is that amazing.

Next up is Sesame Ramen vs Mild Racoon.

A tame raccoon?

I thought the spicy raccoon that came out earlier was the later released raccoon, but it turned out to be the mild raccoon with the light yellowish-brown packaging.

That’s the original, lol

Plain things aren’t tasty.

It felt fine like udon.

The badger has already appeared twice.

Raccoon Peak

I think I first had sesame ramen when I went to that university. It had an egg block and chili oil inside, so it was a really luxurious ramen. It was nice to eat at the PC bang. But.

I don’t remember when I ate the gentle raccoon.

I must have been under the impression for quite a long time that there was a regular version of the stew and a spicy version, but it turns out the mild version is the regular one.

I don’t know what’s what.

“I’ll go with sesame.” Because we have eggs.”

When I pressed next, an impossible choice appeared.

Ramen stir-fry vs spaghetti.

“Wow.”

My hand instinctively went to my head.

“Everyone, this is really not okay.” 와. Should I call Woojin? What’s better?

Is it a banchan discussion?

Sure!

Okay, okay

Enjoying a full-course meal discussion even on Mondays.