Cozy Obsession

Heemin gazed nervously at the cup Eunkyung held out. The steaming teacup contained a tea with a scent he had never encountered before.“Doctor, what if I start saying weird things? This is all being recorded, right?”Now that he was about to undergo hypnosis therapy, he couldn’t help but feel anxious. He was terrified that he might unconsciously reveal his innermost thoughts, such as secrets he never wanted anyone to know.Last year, his second sister had undergone a sedated endoscopy during her health check-up. She had confessed that she was afraid she might reveal to the nurse that she enjoyed watching men have sex with each other while under sedation.Although this wasn’t a case of sedation, finding himself in a similar situation made Heemin understand his sister’s anxious state. This place was in a book, and he was just a person possessed by ‘Seo Heemin,’ speaking to her with pure compassion while thinking carefully about Cha Yiheon. His heart was pounding.“You will only be asked questions related to the therapy, and you will only answer those questions. So, there’s no need to worry.”“Still, just a little…”“I would never ask for something like your bank account password, so rest assured.”Eunkyung winked playfully. Heemin almost replied that there was nothing to steal from him even if someone knew his password but instead quietly brought the teacup to his lips. After blowing on it and taking a sip, the warmth spread through his body.“Shall we close our eyes and breathe slowly?”He leaned back in the cozy armchair, and as he closed his eyelids and took a deep breath as instructed, he soon felt relaxed.“From now on, this song will put you in and out of hypnosis.”Bach’s “Air on the G String” began to play from the speakers. About thirty seconds later, Eunkyung stopped the music and explained to Heemin in a low, calm voice.“To overcome trauma, you need to confront your past self directly. Since today is the first day twenty-one-year-old Heemin is receiving therapy, let’s start by recalling the most joyful and happy moments.”The beautiful, grand violin melody lingered in his ears. Eunkyung snapped her fingers as if signaling.“Recall the happiest moment. One, two, three.”As if submerged in water, his consciousness sank. During that time, as he was quickly moving upstream against the darkness of night, a bright light unfolded. Bright fragments poured down above his head.The happiest moment in his memory.On the day his eldest sister received her first paycheck, she took the entire family to a beef barbecue restaurant. It was a place she had been to once with her company colleagues for a gathering.Since the family only occasionally ate pork belly at a budget-friendly local barbecue joint, they were wide-eyed at the prices on the menu.He had thought that the true enjoyment of meat lay in its chewiness, but when he tasted the beef that melted in his mouth, his opinion changed. He understood why people praised Hanwoo (Korean beef) so much.As the meat on the grill dwindled, Heemin, worried about the bill, lied about being full. He purposely avoided the soybean paste stew and cold noodles dessert. He only ate the refillable side dishes and pickled onions.It seemed his mother and other sisters had similar thoughts, as they finished the meal without ordering additional food and returned home. They didn’t feel full at all.And that night, when they would normally be asleep, his third sister couldn’t resist her hunger and used all the ingredients in the fridge to make a big bowl of bibimbap.The smell of sesame oil woke the family one by one, and they all sat at the table eating bibimbap, laughing at how ridiculous they looked.They said that this was what suited them best and decided that from now on, they would spend the money they would have used on beef to stuff themselves with pork belly at their usual place.Though they lacked financial comfort, their happiness was abundant. Crying and laughing, fighting and making up. Their small, bustling home was always chaotic, but their affection for each other was exceptional. They were the most precious people in the world to each other.Even though he was merely recalling the past through hypnosis, Heemin was glad to see his beloved family this way. As the fading light transitioned, Heemin eagerly awaited the scenes to come, hoping his memories would reconstruct into a vivid movie.“Have you arrived there, Heemin?”In response to Eunkyung’s softly echoing voice from a distance, Heemin nodded with his eyes closed. Shapes of objects began to appear as if projected on the lowered eyelids.“What do you see?”“…A desk…a chair, a blackboard. Noisy kids…”Contrary to his expectation of seeing his home, or perhaps the kitchen, he saw a familiar classroom setting.The children were wearing bright gray jackets with dark blue trim at the collar. It was the winter uniform of Heemin’s high school. It seemed to be winter in his memory.“It seems to be a school. What are you doing there, Heemin?”“I am…”Looking down, he saw a 4B pencil, a drawing book, and an eraser for art in his hand.“Huh…?”This was probably a memory of ‘Seo Heemin.’ Given how naturally he was using unfamiliar art tools, it must be.They say the body and mind constantly influence each other. He never thought he could recall body memories through hypnosis. He looked at his sketching hand in amazement.Come to think of it, ‘Seo Heemin’ used to sit in his seat drawing during breaks in his school days. He spent time transferring everything he saw onto paper—the different shapes of bags, pencil cases, mechanical pencils, fans, clocks, umbrellas, brooms, and dustpans brought by his classmates.“I am drawing.”When Heemin explained the situation, Eunkyung asked another question.“What are you drawing now?”“Well…”Having just started sketching, it was unclear what the subject was. After a while, the finely drawn lines formed shapes, gradually taking form.The neatly cut hair, broad straight shoulders, sturdy yet reliable back, and long legs. Even though it was a simple sketch made with a few lines, the back of the boy left a strong impression.“I’m doing a figure sketch.”“Can you tell who the figure is?”“…It’s Yiheon.”Despite not drawing the face, Heemin immediately recognized the model. He was the only man ‘Seo Heemin’ ever left behind in a drawing, despite never drawing people after becoming an artist.He was none other than Cha Yiheon, Seo Heemin’s irreplaceable friend and the first and last person he ever liked.“How are you feeling?”“Happy. It feels like all my worries are disappearing… It feels like the air around me is warming up… I’m also nervous, and it feels like something is filling up inside my chest…”“Is Heemin happy because of the act of drawing, or because of the subject he’s drawing?”“That is…”Unable to make a hasty conclusion, Heemin trailed off. Eunkyung whispered in a gentle voice.“Why don’t we focus on that feeling and watch the scene a bit more?”Following her suggestion, Heemin sat quietly and observed the scene playing out in his mind. The drawing was nearing completion.Just as ‘Seo Heemin,’ who had been carefully drawing lines while keeping his eyes on the paper, looked up to check the angle of the clothes’ folds,― Were you drawing me again?Cha Yiheon turned around, flashing a dazzlingly bright smile. Perhaps because Heemin was empathizing with ‘Seo Heemin’s’ emotions, his heart began to race wildly. An unexperienced, wistful feeling spread like ripples, making his whole chest flutter.‘Seo Heemin,’ embarrassed at being caught, stopped sketching and quickly closed the drawing book. Heemin could feel his face and neck heating up.― Why are you hiding it? Show me, come on.Excusing himself from the conversation with the other kids, Yiheon approached ‘Seo Heemin’ and extended his hand.― …I’m not very good.― Our Heemin always draws so well but says this every time.Yiheon pulled over an empty chair and sat next to ‘Seo Heemin.’ He picked up the drawing book on the desk and flipped to the last page with the completed drawing. His eyes curved like a slender crescent moon.― When will you draw my portrait? Stop drawing just my body and draw my handsome face too. I’d make a great model for your drawing.‘Seo Heemin’ probably had several drawings of Cha Yiheon’s face in another drawing book that he hadn’t taken out of his bag.But those were not drawn while observing the person in front of him, but rather doodles made from vague memories in his mind, so ‘Seo Heemin’ never showed them to Cha Yiheon.Yiheon had always thought it was because ‘Seo Heemin’ was embarrassed about his skills due to his subtle pride. However, looking at it now, it seemed that it was less about his skill and more about worrying that his feelings for Yiheon would be revealed in the drawings.― I’ll draw it when I get better.― Okay. Practice hard and make sure to draw it someday, okay?― Yeah, I will.When ‘Seo Heemin’ nodded and replied obediently, Yiheon patted his head as if he were proud of him. Yiheon’s hand gently tousled his smooth hair. It felt like a fragrant, soft spring breeze caressing him. The touch was so kind that even Heemin, watching the scene, felt his heart flutter.Because they wore the same school uniform, Yiheon overlapped more and more with Heemin’s friend in reality. His manner of speaking, expressions, and attitude towards ‘Seo Heemin’ were all very similar. Memories and longing from his school days surged in like a tidal wave.― Yiheon.― Yeah?― It’s nothing.― Why? What is it?Retracting the hand that had been patting his head, Yiheon urged him to speak. Just as ‘Seo Heemin,’ who had hesitated for a long time, was about to open his mouth, the bell signaling the start of the next class rang. His lips, which had been about to move, closed tightly.‘I wish we were both Betas.’Heemin clearly heard the words ‘Seo Heemin’ muttered in his heart. He could feel the desire to not be a being swayed by pheromones throughout his entire body.Maybe it was the next day that the results of the trait test came out. ‘Seo Heemin’ turned out to be a dominant Omega, and Cha Yiheon was a dominant Alpha. In the end, their relationship took a tragic turn.“Ugh…”Like the fade-out effect in a movie, the scene that had been unfolding before his eyes gradually darkened. A faint groan escaped his lips, more from regret than pain.“Now the music will play, and you will wake up from the hypnosis.”Eunkyung played the music. The beautiful melody of the violin lingered in his ears.“One, two, three. Open your eyes, Heemin.”The classroom scene that had been slowly darkening vanished completely, as if sucked into a black hole. Heemin, regaining consciousness, wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand and took a deep breath.“How was it?”“It was… amazing.”It truly was, in every sense. Memories surfacing like a video before his eyes, experiencing the memories of ‘Seo Heemin’ instead of his own—all of it.“We’ll stop here for today. Next time, we’ll delve deeper into your past. Thank you for cooperating so well on your first try. You did great.”Heemin blinked rapidly, trying to clear his dazed mind. He had to go meet the man who was probably waiting for him beyond the door.He stood up from the chair, leaving behind a scene that evoked a sorrowful feeling just by recalling it. At least he hadn’t said anything strange.“Thank you for your effort.”After bowing to Eunkyung, he grabbed the bag containing kimbap and tteokbokki and opened the consultation room door. As he lifted his gaze from the doorknob, a tall, dark silhouette standing with his back turned and looking out the window was imprinted on Heemin’s retina.The stubborn back that didn’t allow anyone’s approach was reminiscent of a sheer cliff. The boy who had once been captured on the canvas and the man he was now overlapped, stirring a strange feeling.Despite being a cold-blooded person who wouldn’t bleed even if stabbed, he was someone who used to know how to laugh and often joked around, just like the real Cha Yiheon.Would it be possible to rewrite the hatred and contempt he had built up like tree rings each year for Seo Heemin into trust and love, and return things to how they were before? Could he heal his wounds, comfort his hurt feelings, and restore his lost innocence?He wanted to free him from a lonely, inhuman life, to bring him out of a pitch-black world and let him express a spectrum of emotions as he once did. Staring at Yiheon’s back with eyes full of compassion, Heemin cleared his throat and called out cheerfully.“Hyung! You’re here?”Even though they had been apart for only a few hours, he felt so happy to see him, as if it had been days. He waved his hand and ran toward him. The steadfast back that had remained unshaken slowly turned around at Heemin’s call.Unlike the high schooler Cha Yiheon who used to greet him with a bright smile, the thirty-year-old him was filled with rage.His stern gaze, persistent eyes following every move, fiery pupils, and lips barely suppressing his anger. Seeing Heemin, he spoke in a heavy, sinking voice.“Don’t say a word. I don’t know what I’ll do if I hear your voice.”Though he wasn’t surprised, seeing him react as sharply as a honed blade still hurt. It felt like no matter how sincere he was, Yiheon would never believe him.You won’t actually do anything. You’re all talk.Suppressing the words swirling in his mouth, Heemin quietly stood beside Yiheon, thinking it best to keep silent for now.“Mr. Seo Heemin.”The nurse called Heemin’s name just in time, signaling that his treatment was complete and he needed to handle the payment.He headed to the front desk to check the treatment details and costs. The unexpectedly high bill left him at a loss, but Yiheon sighed deeply and pulled out a credit card from his wallet.“Please charge it to this.”Hey.Instead of calling out loud, Heemin tugged at his sleeve, afraid of making a sound that might provoke him.When Yiheon looked back with a start, Heemin handed him the money he had pulled from his pocket: a fifty-thousand won bill, a ten-thousand won bill, a five-thousand won bill, two one-thousand won bills, and nine one-hundred won coins, totaling sixty-seven thousand nine hundred won. This was the amount left after subtracting the taxi fare and food costs.Looking up at him with eyes that pleaded for him to add it to the payment, Yiheon’s eyebrow arched cynically. Finding the gesture of returning the stolen money ridiculous, Yiheon shot Heemin a glare as if to say “let’s settle this later.” Feigning ignorance, Heemin placed the bills and coins in his hand.After staring at the money in his palm for a moment, Yiheon put it into his pocket, probably not wanting to use cash in front of the nurse and Heemin. He was indeed a man of great pride.After completing the payment, they left the hospital. The coins clinking in Yiheon’s pocket distracted Heemin, but he followed him silently without showing it. Yiheon, with his tightly shut lips, bulging forehead veins, and angry eyes, was visibly furious.Yet, despite his earlier threat of not knowing what he would do, Yiheon didn’t shout or grab Heemin by the collar. He merely leaned against the elevator wall, glaring silently.If he yelled, Heemin had been ready to retort that it was frustrating being cooped up at home in such nice weather and that he wanted to go out for a flower viewing with him. However, Yiheon’s unexpected reaction thwarted Heemin’s plan to act shamelessly, as he had done over the phone. He couldn’t even ask if they were still going to the lake park.The crinkling sound of the plastic bag in Heemin’s hand was the only noise breaking the silence between them. He kept glancing at Yiheon as they exited the elevator and headed to the underground parking lot.He spotted a black sedan parked at an odd angle near the entrance to the mall. The hasty parking job reflected the urgency of the moment, unlike Secretary Jung’s usual meticulous work. Moreover, Jung wasn’t there to open the car door for them.Something felt off. Did he come here by himself, without his subordinates?“Where’s Secretary Jung…?”He was about to ask Yiheon, but then remembered not to speak and quickly covered his mouth.Yiheon glanced at Heemin with a cold stare before opening the car door. The headlights lit up the dark parking lot brightly.Watching him move to the driver’s seat, Heemin followed hesitantly, unsure whether to sit in the back as usual or take the passenger seat beside him. He reached for the back door handle but paused when Yiheon snapped.“Are you the boss?”“…What? Boss?”Blinking in confusion, Heemin asked him to clarify.“I asked if you’re the boss. Go sit in the front.”“I’m not the boss, just an unemployed person. Can’t unemployed people sit in the back?”Although he was a university student in reality, here, without school or a part-time job, he was technically unemployed.Yiheon’s thick eyebrows twitched irritably at Heemin’s honest answer, clearly displeased. Maybe he should have said, “I’m your possession.”“Sit in the front.”“Oh, okay!”He thought Yiheon didn’t even want to see his face, as he had made it clear Heemin shouldn’t speak. He figured it was a form of consideration, so he intended to sit in the backseat. He must have misjudged, unintentionally making Yiheon even angrier.With a dejected face and slumped shoulders, Heemin opened the passenger seat door. As he settled into the seat and fastened the seatbelt, Yiheon finally got into the car.“Ha…”Instead of starting the engine, Yiheon leaned his head back against the headrest and let out a deep sigh. He looked extremely tired, with dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept for days.Given the sudden hide-and-seek chase that had him running around, it was understandable that he was exhausted. Though Yiheon had told him not to speak, Heemin couldn’t stay silent any longer. He cautiously spoke up.“I’m sorry.”With his eyes closed and fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, Yiheon opened his eyes and glared at Heemin intensely.“You always say you didn’t mean it after screwing someone over.”“…”“Do I seem that pathetic to you? You think it’s fun to toy with me because I let myself get treated like shit, huh?”“…”“Seriously, this is fucked up.”He muttered curses to himself, then pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Just as he was about to light one, he glanced at Heemin. Remembering how he used to blow smoke into his face, Heemin instinctively coughed.“Damn it.”Recalling the time Heemin had coughed violently from the smoke, Yiheon scowled and threw the cigarette away. Unable to contain his extreme anger, he slammed his fist onto the steering wheel.