ALL NOVEL ¡EXCITED!
THUMP THUMP, BA BOOM, BA BUMP, THUMP THUMP, BA BOOM, BA BUMP, BA BOOM, BA BUMP
"Hahah..." I started laughing like a maniac. I couldn’t control it. I knew what it meant—my heart had responded to me, and I couldn’t contain my excitement.
I WAS EXCITED! A PART OF ME WAS EXCITED! For what was going to happen, for how much I could change, how high I could rise. When I understood that emotion, the doubts and fears that once filled my mind seemed like an illusion.
When have I ever felt so alive? Why am I afraid of the future? There are worse things than death. I remembered that hateful hospital room, my useless, sick body, the painful gasps for air, the faces of people looking at me with pity, but also gratefulness in their eyes. Even though their lives were miserable, there was someone worse off than them. When I remembered all that, I understood it completely.
I don’t have to be desperate or afraid of the future. NO. I know. What’s worse than trying and failing is living an empty life. I’d rather die young, with my heart beating so hard it feels like it wants to escape my chest, almost hurting me with a sweet pain that makes you realize what it’s really like TO BE ALIVE, savoring every emotion.
I’d rather that than live as my former self or go with the flow of society as an empty shell. Nothing to excite you enough to make your heart race, nothing to make you cry with happiness or scream with anger. Just a slow, repetitive, boring, normal life. Like a cow on a modern farm, drugged and having its soul sucked out.
When I understood all this, what my heart had relayed to me, I looked up at the sky and smiled.
Just wait, Smasher, V, Johnny, Arasaka, Faraday, Night City, whatever is behind the Blackwall.
I DON’T CARE WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE.
I WILL LIVE.
YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO STOP ME.
IF I HAVE TO KILL, I WILL KILL.
IF I HAVE TO STOP BEING HUMAN TO LIVE FREE AND PROTECT MY LOVED ONES, THAT’S WHAT I WILL DO.
YOU WILL NOT TAKE AWAY MY SMILE.
— I AM SORA LINDER! —
— AND —
I don’t know who YOU are. I don’t give a fuck. I will rise so high, no one will be able to touch me.
After my brief moment of madness, I felt a tingling sensation, like a mild electric current running through my body. I didn’t know my body could share in my excitement like this. I had no memory of something like this happening in my old body. But then again... it sucked and only brought pain. This tingling feeling was the first time I’d ever felt it in my life. I LIKE IT!
When I finally stopped focusing on myself and looked around, I was surprised by what I saw. It was as if the universe was rewarding me for my crazed resolve. Two people I’d seen before were approaching me, talking to each other.
A woman, about 28-30 years old, in a somewhat cheap women’s suit, and a kid—maybe 3 years younger than me? Yeah, he’d be 11 now, with his hair spiked forward, wearing a formal jacket and pants that looked a little odd on him, like he wasn’t comfortable.
As they walked past me, I followed close behind, listening to their conversation while eating onigiris a few feet away. The woman looked really angry with her son.
“Really, son, did you have to behave like that at the academy interview?”
“Mom, I didn’t do anything wrong. The guy told me to be sincere when he asked why I wanted to enter the Arasaka Academy, and I was. I said, ‘I don’t want to enter, I’m doing it to make my mother happy.’ I don’t know why it bothers you. Being sincere is a virtue, Mom. You told me so. I’m just being the way you taught me to be.”
Hearing this, I could already imagine the mother’s expression.
“Pffhm...” (restrained laughter). I stifled a laugh as best as I could at the boy’s reply. I saved it for later, but something slipped out, making the woman turn toward me with the accumulated anger from her son’s words. I ate and shook my head, trying to act like I was listening to music or the radio, anything to explain why I was laughing.
The woman stared at me for a few seconds, clearly not buying my act, her eyes serious and reproachful as if she was about to say something. But she turned back to her son and said,
“CHOOM? WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT YOU TO TALK LIKE THAT?!”
shouted Gloria Martinez to her son, David Martinez.