Dutchess of the End

It took us about two weeks to reach the outskirts of the Proja encampment. During that time, Stephanie rode with me at the front of the caravan every day, and for most of each of them. There had been times when she and Alana retired to her wagon for Alana’s services, though it had never been for long, and I suspect that such services were not the only reason they were going back there. 

 

While it was abundantly clear Stephanie had made a friend, my own relationship with her was growing, as well. Before, we had met during her lessons and in my bedchambers back at Castle Telbud. We studied history and we studied one another. There had been surprisingly little time to really learn about her past in all of that. In the two weeks of travel to the second of four Alihjn villages- for truly they were during the winter despite what the women living there liked to claim- I had learned more about Stephanie than in all the years knowing of her and tutoring her combined.

 

She liked to dance. I had never seen her dance before one evening while the caravan was parked for the night. The various campfires our company had served dinner from were home to a treat, as each cook donated her smaller, individual fire to make a large one. Stephanie dancing to the tune of singing and various instruments brought along had been a gift to not only myself but to the rest of the company. I had been swept away by her joyous attitude, pulling me into the center of the gathered women to dance. We danced alone for a moment before others joined in, two by two. I knew there to be a few married couples along for the journey. Archivists Hilda and Gertrude brought their wives and had been the first to begin dancing with us. She kissed me as the music faded in the breaks in between each song. We had been the last to stop dancing, as one by one women retired for the night, sleeping around the bonfire or in their tents. We made slow, sweet love that night- perhaps the first time we’d truly made love, our physical encounters before had been about what we could get from them rather than what we could give to one another. Every night after that, the camp was not a scattered group of cliques, but rather an evening of festivities in and of itself. Even on the nights when Stephanie did not feel up to dancing, I joined in, clapping and singing despite my position. I would have thought the act unthinkable for one of my standing to do but a month ago, now… I found I quite enjoyed it.

 

Stephanie enjoyed the practical sciences. Mathematics, physics, and prose and poetry. She might not have been the smartest, but I was surprised to find just how much effort the Crown Prince put into the study of astrology. Even one as learned as I learned a thing or two from Stephanie. We had been laying under the stars on a thick blanket after one of the many bonfires that the expedition had put together. Most of them had gone back into their tents or hid in the wagons, and Alana was waiting in Stephanie’s bed. Stephanie and I lay back in one another’s arms. That night, she felt warm and soothing next to me. The warm part I had come to expect, but how easily I was able to relax had been new.

 

“And there’s Dim Clementine.” Stephanie had said as she pointed up to a constellation, drawing it with her finger. I watched, fascinated by what I was learning. Before that night, astrology had been nothing but old wives’ tales and superstition. The way Stephanie talked about it- with such passion, such genuine interest- I felt pulled in by its charm. She talked about a story in which an old woman went her whole life unmarried, only finding love among the stars. With Soall and Wilen, where she could feel happy, shining that happiness down upon the world. It was often easy to bite my tongue on matters I disagreed with philosophically, but with Stephanie that night, the arguments that usually came to the forefront of my mind were nowhere to be found. As though they’d receded into the darkness of the night sky.

 

History had been her least favorite subject of them all. It was curious then that she became so attracted to me so quickly. I’d first realized her advances about a year ago now, and had initially rejected them. I didn’t have time to fool around with a Princess. As time went on, she continued to be persistent. There was an opportunity to be had here that I was blind to, an opportunity that took far, far too long to appear in my mind. But even now, it seemed that taking that chance- pursuing that goal- had paid off in ways I couldn’t have expected back then.

“So how will this help, exactly?” Stephanie had asked me. This was a different night, in a scenario not quite different. We lay next to my wagon on the same blanket as before, looking up at the same night sky. A different topic of intellectual stimulation was at hand, one I found much more interesting. She had been asking about the stone tablets, and my quest for a batch of Mages from the Alihjn nation. It seemed to be the first time she was ever actually interested in what I was talking about rather than trying to skip past the lesson and get to the part where she slipped a hand into my robes.

 

“It’ll give me the widest set of opinions on what it means. Plus, one of their dialects has to be more similar than any of the others.” I said, looking at her. She was smiling, those blue eyes twinkling under the moon and stars. The dying fire to our left gave us just enough heat to keep us warm, but not much more.

 

“So the more viewpoints you have, the more successful you’ll be?” She asked. When I nodded, she leaned in to kiss me once. It was slow, soft, and warm. I felt my eyes close of their own accord, forgetting for a moment all about the stone tablets, of the prophecy, and anything else in the world. In those moments, I felt as light as a feather, as free as a bird. The kiss ended all too soon, any my eyes fluttered open.

 

“Something like that.” I said. “What do you say we let Alana have a night off, let her hang out with Prinna.”

 

“What do you have in mind?” She asked.

 

“I just…” I put a gloved hand on her cheek before reaching behind her back, pulling it off my fingers. My Mark shone brightly in both of our faces. She smirked. “Thought it might be nice to spend some alone time together.”

 

Those were the last words we spoke until after the deed was done. It had been slow, sweet, and yet despite that, intense. I’ve had experiences like this with Stephanie on this trip, but only once before. It had been lovely, every second of skin on skin, oil-slick hands running up and down my body, it was a pleasure that was unparalleled.

 

We also discussed the matter of succession. It was related to Stephanie’s studies, though much more abstractly than the rest of it. It was tradition for the Crown Prince to study courtly grace, political theory, and finances among other things. It was a miracle she was still allowed the title of Crown Prince after hearing about the things she got up to around those particular tutors. Oftentimes, when she was in session with her tutors, she’d ask questions about irrelevant pieces of information.

 

“There was an old crony one time Sire brought in to teach me dancing. I knew dancing. I wasn’t excellent at the time but I had decent footwork. She’d asked me to wear something akin to what would be worn at a ball. I showed up wearing naught but a pair of gloves. ‘It’s an entirely modest outfit, madame.’ I told her. She chased me near halfway across the castle before Fiona hid me away in her room.” Stephanie said. She had a hard time keeping a straight face as she told the story of streaking through the castle. I found myself laughing along with it. A tale of the Crown Prince streaking not long after reaching marrying age at eighteen? It was a story I was surprised I hadn’t heard, even if it was before I had begun my own tutelage of her.

 

I drew closer to her in those moments, feeling her warmth entirely separate from the fire. In many ways it burned hotter, brighter than even the largest bonfire we’d built on our way to visit the Proja tribe.

 

“Carla?” She asked me the night before we arrived at the Proja camp. It was within sight, but we’d arrived too late to do much of anything about it. The scouts told me it was still two hours’ ride out, and the sun was fast setting. We’d set up a more permanent camp closer the following day, unfortunately. Unlike how we had been spending our evenings on the ground near the fire, me and Stephanie had been in her wagon that night, Alana slowly brushing her hair with a borrowed hairbrush. I hardly thought she was paying attention to our conversation, and if she was, should know better than to keep out of it.

 

“Yes?” I asked her. Our time together on this trip had turned into something unforgettable. Me, having ‘unforgettable’ memories with a woman. The thought had been unheard of until it was already too late to stop it. A month since we left the Slajo camp, we’d likely spend four days with the Proja as well, only to move on to seek out the Tilajn.

 

“When we get married, and I become King, who would you prefer give birth to the children?” Stephanie asked. She lay there in an evening gown, pale blue and beautiful, I could almost see through it.

 

“Is it not the Queen’s responsibility to birth the royal children?” I asked her. I knew there would come a time when I was ready to have them, and would be more than willing to have them spring from my womb as had been tradition for the last six centuries. But before I was crowned Queen, I wasn’t sure.

 

“Yeah, it is, but… you know, what if I birthed one? Or two?”

 

“Would you like to?” I asked. Stephanie nodded her head. I laid down next to her, an ungloved hand on her cheek, safe from the onlookers who would only find the dulled tones of my natural skin color.

 

“I just think, you know…” She shifted as she lay there, as if she were uncomfortable, pausing for a moment to do so, tugging at various points of her gown as they lay underneath her, pressed into the mattress as was their duty. “Both of us should have the opportunity to experience childbirth. Resawn never had that opportunity, I’m sure she’d like to. I’d hate to not do it and regret it.”

 

“Well, if you want, I won’t say no.” I told her, stroking a bit of hair away from her face. I kissed her cheek.

 

“Alright.” She said with a nod.

 

“Is that all?”

 

“Yeah. That’s, that’s all.” She said, looking up at me with a forced smile.

 

I didn’t think anything else of it. It had been a long day’s ride, and tomorrow would prove longer. First thing in the morning I’d be riding out to visit the Elders of the Proja Tribe to barter with them for temporary use of one of their Mages. Who knew how long that could take.

 

I settled in next to her, pulling the blanket over our bodies. Alana slipped in behind Stephanie, giving her kisses to her neck, a hand moving to grasp at her chest in slow, firm squeezes.

 

“Not tonight, Alana.” Stephanie said. The words gave me a bit of a start. Stephanie? Refusing sex from at least one, potentially two women? The thought baffled me for a moment, but I assumed she was simply tired.

 

“Alright.” Alana said, moving her hand back.

 

“If you’re shining for it, I’ll let you prowl the camp, find a bed to warm.” Stephanie said.

 

“Sure. I’ll give you two some space.” Alana said. The mattress shifted, tent flaps opened and shut with the familiar sounds, and I was left alone in bed with Stephanie. Sleep overtook me seconds later.