Falling into the Abyss

Trigger Warning: Mentions of sexual assault & suicide attempts

Samuel lit a cigarette and laid his head lazily on Schneider’s lap. The two of them were half-naked and were lying on the warehouse building’s platform in the east area of the Forbidden City, under a simple hut. It had become the place for the two of them to have a “tryst” twice a week. Due to the remote location and the curfew at night, it was a very safe place.

Samuel spat out a smoke ring and suddenly laughed in a deep voice. “I didn’t expect that I would end up with the Chief Security Officer.”

Schneider’s eyes were looking at the pale moonlight shining through between the distinct clouds, with a cigarette burning between his fingers. It was Samuel’s. The blush due to lust had not yet faded from his cheeks, and he only had a thin shirt draped over his shoulders.

The city had entered summer, so they didn’t feel cold.

“You wish that Ethan Eldridge was where I’m currently sitting now?” It was a question, but he spoke with a sure tone.

Samuel gave him a strange look and dryly sneered, “Am I that obvious?”

“I could tell by how you gnash your teeth every time you talk about the priest.”

Samuel sighed with some chagrin and said, “Don’t talk nonsense. Also, I’m not blind. I don’t like dry Betas like Ethan.” After speaking, he suddenly gave him a naughty smile and touched Schneider with his hand. “Are you jealous?”

Schneider swatted his hand and tugged at the shirt on his shoulders. Inwardly, he couldn’t decipher what he was feeling.

“You saw a shadow of James Moore through him, didn’t you?”

Samuel was stunned for a second. Then he sat up abruptly, turned, and stared at Schneider, asking, “You investigated me?”

Schneider calmly met the latter’s angry eyes. With a bit of provocation in his eyes, he admitted, “Yes, I investigated you.”

“You……” Samuel glared at him for a moment, but he didn’t know who should be blamed for this matter. After he thought about it clearly, when he was chasing his ex-boyfriend, didn’t he also search his information up on various social networking sites, look at the photos he posted, and secretly listen to the songs he wrote? When he thought about it this way, he still felt a strong contrast when the perpetually stern Chief Security Officer did this kind of thing.

He then had no choice but to smile and say, “For the sake of you being such a fool, I won’t make a fuss over it with you.”

“Did you enter the Forbidden City for that man?” Schneider asked.

This question pierced the deepest wound in Samuel’s heart without warning like a sharp blade. He threw the cigarette in his hand away with a stiff smile. An awkward silence spread among the shadows cast by the surrounding plastic storage boxes.

He didn’t continue speaking because Samuel already knew what the results of the investigation were.

James Moore was somewhat talented, but his talent was not enough to give him the capacity to act unreasonably. However, James was introverted, and he didn’t know how to socialize with others. Although he was pretty, he was not in a top position in the entertainment industry. He didn’t like to be in the limelight, and he simply liked to play the piano and write music at home. He didn’t know how to make friends outside, so he didn’t have many friends.

The first time Samuel saw him was when he went to a bar to drink with some brothers who were fighting in the same club. Samuel saw him sitting alone on the stage, playing the guitar and singing his own songs. He was wearing a pair of glasses, and his light brown hair gently blew across his forehead. He was wearing a simple, clean shirt, which was out of place among the noisy and beautiful environment below. His brows drooped, and he carried a layer of indecisive melancholy. Even if no one really listened to his singing, he was very involved in his performance, as though he was dancing in an empty room.

Later, after he sang for a while and sat in the corner to rest, Samuel took the initiative to buy him a drink. His flattered expression was very lovely.

There were tons of young women around Samuel. Which Omega didn’t like a man like him who was bursting with Alpha pheromones and looked like an idol? However, Samuel grew up living in a lie, and he was used to keeping a distance from everyone. Sometimes, in order to pretend for the others around him, he would bring some Omega home. Still, that type of insincere love made him feel defensive and empty, and he even felt lonely sometimes.

However, everything changed after he met James. The Omega was probably the least proactive one he had ever seen. After leaving his contact information, he thought he would receive a message from him that evening, but he waited for a week and didn’t get one. In the end, he went to the bar and finally met him again. When he invited him out to dinner, movies, and concerts, the other party sometimes seemed to be at a loss, but it was this rare simplicity that made Samuel’s heart itch.

It was no surprise that James fell in love with Samuel. Few single Omega could refuse him for a long time. However, Samuel was fascinated by his clumsy way of showing his love. For example, when a delicious meal was sent to James’ music club, the receptionist dismissed it as coming from an ordinary fan, so Samuel could only leave the meal at the front desk with a red face. Or, when James wanted to prepare a birthday present for him and bought Samuel a pair of boxing gloves he had always wanted with the money he had saved, resulting in him being unable to pay the rent for next month. Every time he saw the landlord, he would be scolded as they threatened to sue him in the Court of Ethics to reduce his moral value points. He had no choice but to stay at Samuel’s house for a few days, but he refused to let Samuel pay the rent for him. Instead, he ran to the bar all day long to sing. Fortunately, one of the songs he wrote was valued by a singer, and he earned two months’ worth of rent.

James wrote songs for him and sat by the window sill on their anniversary, playing the guitar and singing to him. At that time, Samuel suddenly felt that he could trust James and told him his real gender.

At first, James was shocked, and his expression caused Samuel to only have one thought: It’s over.

He would spread the matter around, sell the information to the newspaper, and then he’ll be arrested by the Court of Ethics to identify his real gender.

However, in the next moment, James hugged him and said, “It’s been hard for you to pretend for so many years, hasn’t it?”

Yes, James quickly accepted his real gender. He even offered to keep their relationship secret to reduce the attention they might attract. This seemingly weak Omega always shocked him.

The following days they spent together were very happy. They dated, lived together, quarreled, made up, and adopted a yellow-colored puppy together, just like a typical couple. They sprayed many alpha camouflaging inhibitors on each other during their estruses. They tried to take care of their partner like a real Alpha, and as Omegas, they understood their partner’s needs better.

Then, in the midst of their happiness came a haze.

James told him one day that an executive director of Cyrus, a famous entertainment company, was interested in some of his works and was going to sign a contract with him. The director had heard his works in a nightclub and liked them very much, so he scheduled time to have an interview with him.

Samuel felt a little uneasy at that time and always thought he was way too lucky. However, after seeing James so excited and happy, he didn’t have the heart to pop his bubble. He simply celebrated and took him to their favorite steakhouse.

Later, James successfully signed the contract. Every day, he was bursting with energy as he took the song that he was most proud of to the company early in the morning and came back later and later in the evening. He often mentioned the director and said how much he was taken care of by the other party. For the first time, someone understood his work in this way. If he said too much, Samuel would get jealous and take James to bed to remind him who his partner was. James joked that he was a jealous man. He said that many Omegas were more attractive than him in the company, so that person would not like him.

However, Samuel always felt uneasy. He began to fly his aircraft to pick up James every day, regardless of whether he was photographed by those paparazzi robots.

He thought that it would be fine, as long as James was happy.

Then, an accident occurred at the year-end party that year. James didn’t go home all night, and Samuel couldn’t get in touch with his capsule. The connection kept informing him that James’ capsule was closed. Samuel comforted himself that maybe he and his friends went out for a celebration, so he flew to the hotel where they had held the party. However, the hotel staff told him that the reception had ended a long time ago.

He then asked angrily if the executive director had opened a room at the hotel. The other party said that everyone had left and no one was there.

Could it be that they changed venues to celebrate? Could James be home by now? He rushed home and saw the empty room.

He flew around the space station like a headless fly, stopping to search in front of every open nightclub. However, there was nothing. In the wee hours of the morning, he finally returned home, exhausted, and was ready to report it to the police.

Just then, James came back. As soon as Samuel opened the door, James fell into his arms and fainted.

Samuel was shocked. The big purple bite marks on James’ neck made his whole body go cold. His most cherished lover’s clothes were in a mess. His suit was wrinkled, his shirt buttons were almost all torn off, and his clothes could not cover his thin chest filled with bruises. His wrists were covered in marks from being bound and some deep wounds. The blood stuck to his white skin, forming a piercing sight.

Holding James in his arms, Samuel couldn’t believe that he did not protect the person in his arms and let such a terrible thing happen.

James fainted for a short time. When he woke up, he began to cry silently. Samuel wanted to hold him, but he shrunk into a corner, trembling, and Samuel cried as he asked if it was alright to touch him.

Samuel’s heart was broken. He watched the Omega crying helplessly in the corner before he limped to the bathroom, rubbing his skin until it was red and bleeding and looking at him as though he had lost his soul. He didn’t eat or drink, and he hid in the bedroom every day, depressed. Even Samuel’s touch would cause his whole body to tremble. Fear had diffused in his blue irises as though it was imprinted and could never be erased.

Therefore, the hatred in Samuel’s heart quickly took root and grew thorns that could cover the skies. He must make the man who hurt James pay.

However, he knew that the retribution would not come from the Court of Ethics because Cyrus had too many personal connections. Of course, he had people planted in the Court of Ethics. Otherwise, how could the artists in his company have gotten out of trouble previously? He needed to do it himself.

He didn’t commit the act rashly, and he carefully crafted a plan. But one thing was for sure. He didn’t intend to keep the executive director alive from the beginning. He bought electric saws, drills, ropes, cauldrons, corrosive chemicals, and other things and stored them in three temporary rented remote apartments. He rented out an entire floor of an apartment, spread plastic cloth and sound insulating boards on the floor of the selected rooms, and sealed the doors and windows. Then, he sent a message to the man through James’ capsule.

Killing someone was actually very simple, especially when the difference in money and status was eliminated and only the most primitive physical strength was used to fight. Samuel’s physique was like that of a soldier trained from a young age, and most Alphas in the world were not his opponent. He beat the man black and blue, then tied him to a chair and cut off the beast’s evil organs. He listened to his howling, how he promised to give him money, again and again, apologized and begged for forgiveness in tears, and crawled humbly under his feet. However, it wasn’t enough. He still hated the man. He trembled with pain at the thought of James’ eyes that had lost their glow.

He forced the man to tell him how he drugged James’ wine, how he took him out of the hotel into another hotel in the name of sending him home, how he tied James up and abused him with brutal methods. This was not the first time the executive had done this. In the company, many artists without background had been bullied by him, but there was no room for them to appeal. He had their contracts in his hands, and no one could afford the expensive penalty. He could hide those poor lambs who resisted him from the limelight at will, so that they couldn’t earn a cent for several years in a row and finally had to crawl back to beg him.

Samuel couldn’t listen anymore, and he cut the throat of the once powerful man with a knife.

Later, everything in his memory was very vague. He calmly dismembered the corpse, broke up the bones, put them into a special pot in batches, and then used corrosive agents to melt the corpse into a pool of greasy, viscous substances. Then, he poured them into the sewer. In order to not harm the pipes, he even put the corpse liquid in a bucket and later drove the aircraft to deal with it elsewhere.

It was time-consuming, but that didn’t matter. He has asked for leave from the club and said he was going back to his hometown to see his sick father. To make it seem realistic, he even bought a ticket to the Sixth Space Station. He took the opportunity to slip away after boarding to ensure that the airline kept his boarding record.

He washed the plastic cloth and floor with bleach, carefully took off his gloves and raincoat, and burned them in the pot with the plastic cloth. Before he left, he checked all the places and made sure they were cleaned.

He poured the corpse liquid into a septic tank in the slums. When he accomplished everything, he felt very relaxed.

Yes, he didn’t have half the regret or fear of killing people. He just felt very happy.

However, he was caught. Obviously, the pervert had videotaped his invasion of James, so the police suspected James and arrested him. Samuel had been negligent during the process of the corpse disposal, and someone in the apartment found that the water pipe had been blocked. As a result, a pelvic bone was found inside. The DNA test confirmed it belonged to the missing executive director. It was James who had last got in touch with the deceased before the accident, so it was almost certain they would convict James.

Therefore, to get rid of the suspicion on James, Samuel turned himself in.

After being convicted, he saw his heartbroken father sitting in the gallery and silently crying and saw the despair and fear in James’ eyes, without any joy at being avenged. Samuel finally had a trace of doubt in his heart, and he questioned whether his decision was correct.

However, on the other hand, he thought it was worthwhile to exchange his brilliant life for a happy revenge. He even thought it was a noble sacrifice.

A month later, James established a relationship with another Alpha.

Samuel knew that he shouldn’t blame James because he was on the verge of mental collapse at that time. He had been arrested, taken in for interrogation, and was forced to watch the video of his most painful night. He was already suffering from severe depression. Samuel was supposed to take care of him and comfort him, but he entered the Forbidden City just like that. James would never see him again in his life, and Samuel had left him alone in the dark.

There was another person who was willing to take care of James. He should be at ease, right? But why was he so incredibly angry? So angry that he wanted to……destroy everything?

In fact, as soon as he entered the Forbidden City, he had already lost his James, right? Why did he feel that it was so real when he entered?

Up until now, the name James had become an ache he did not want to mention. No matter how he imagined it, he had no way to modify the ending in which he was doomed to lose him.

Now, all of a sudden, the past has been placed right in front of him. He was in tears before he knew it.

It had been three years, but just a name could still make him feel so much pain.

A broad and slightly rough hand carried a bit of pity as it gently wiped away his tears. Schneider took off his formal and solemn disguise, and the expression in his eyes melted into warmth.

“He’s having a good time now. He goes to see a psychologist regularly and is recovering well. His partner is a doctor and is very kind to him. They have a child,” Schneider whispered, “Your sacrifice for him was worth it.”

Schneider didn’t tell Samuel that James had cut his wrist in an attempt to commit suicide after he entered the city, and he had met the doctor after he was sent to the hospital. He felt that it wasn’t necessary.

Hearing these words, Samuel didn’t know why but he couldn’t help but fall onto Schneider’s shoulder and burst into tears.

For the first time in three years, he straightforwardly cried.

It turned out that he had been waiting for someone to tell him such a sentence.