Formicea

I wake up again.
The nice thing with that tub is that you never feel like you haven't slept enough.
Apparently, I receive exactly the amount of sleep I need.
Feeling much better than yesterday I immediately want to rise up.

However, I can't!
As soon as I try to move I feel incredibly heavy.
Seeking help I look around and find Miwa, who comes as soon I make eye contact.
I believe she could see me struggling, but she appears too mindful of my position to come close on her own.
Yet now that I gave her permission she helps me up.
Rising out of the yellow substance I see something I didn't want to see.
Something terrible!

My belly is bloated!
It isn't directly like during pregnancy, but close enough.
Still smaller, but far rounder.
It looks as if I had swallowed a big ball.
Also, it feels that way, so tense it is.

There's even a sudden slope between my chest and my belly, showing that just the target area is affected.
I believe it's the carapace.
Everything but my belly is too hard to easily change its form.
And this is completely deforming me.
Just this sight is enough to make me lose it.
And then it is also so heavy!
How dense are these eggs packed?

But the worst is my looks.
I cannot show up like this in front of... everyone!
No one can see me in this state!

Shit, what should I do?
I can't even walk on my own, without having Miwa guiding me to the table.
That she visibly has to make an effort isn't helping in the slightest.
I squeeze some tears out.

Miwa stays the whole time silent, maybe thinking that interaction with me is inadequate.
As soon I manage to somehow sit at the table she goes out to fetch the food.
Though she only returns with nectar and mushrooms.
Not really great, but it's not unsavory either.
Especially the nectar which I have the sudden urge to pour down en mass.

While I eat, she does the typical cleaning thing.
I need to admit, that when Kyska and Suki do it, they always massage me a bit so that it's not unpleasant.
But Miwa is different.
She does nothing unnecessary and I would barely know that she is even touching me if I wasn't aware of her presence.
She is more like an assassin than a maid, so stealthy she is.
A cleaning assassin.

I spend the meal like this.
However, eating can just occupy me for so long.
I have to do something about my swollen belly.
If I would just know what!

 

"M-Miwa?" (E)

<Yes, my princess?> (M)

"Could you somehow help me... hide this swelling?" (E)

 

She blinks for a moment confused at me.

 

<Why would you want this?> (M)

"Because I don't want to be seen like this! It's embarrassing!" (E)

 

And this is an understatement!

 

<Skrik, skriak, screek!/What is embarrassing about that? This is a manifestation of your contribution! There is no greater sign of honor!> (M)

 

Again this insect thing that fertility is good.
But not for me!

At this moment, Suki enters the room.
Please help me, Suki!

The moment she sees me she stops in her tracks.

 

<Skreo!/Oh, it already progressed so far! How wonderful!> (S)

 

Damnit, I forgot that they play in the same team.

 

"Can you please help me, Suki?" (E)

<I just came here to report that everyone is well off. Even your guests are satisfied, as rude as this one person is. Shall I change my assignment?> (S)

"N-no, I just need you to help me hide... this." (E)

<Why would you want this?> (S)

 

Argh! They're all the same.

 

"Because I can't be seen like this by any human stationed here! Please, save me!" (E)

<How would I do this?> (S)

 

Would have been unfair to expect something, when I have no idea.
The only way would be to hide it somehow.

 

"Maybe... my old dress! The green one! Couldn't we adjust it in a way that the stomach isn't visible anymore?" (E)

"My princess, the eggs will continue to grow and with this your waist. It would be difficult to adjust any fabric to handle this strain." (S)

 

I didn't want to hear this!
I seriously didn't want to hear this!

 

"Just... make it sloppy, so it won't be seen." (E)

<But we have barely any fabric left. It would be crude work at best.> (S)

"I will take crude or whatever! Just something!" (E)

<As you wish! I will contact the nurses on this matter.> (S)

 

She takes the dress, which I, missing a wardrobe, have thrown on the ground, and leaves with it.
For her sake, I hope the other nurses won't discuss with her as much.
All I have right now are some undergarments in this terrible state.
At least they removed the blue dress or it might have been damaged.
Mum also brought some casual clothes, but they wouldn't do much to hide the particular area.
So all I can do is wait here and hope that no one enters to see me.
Or better I make sure of it.

 

"Miwa! No one but those who bring my dress can enter!" (E)

<I will inform your guard!> (M)

 

Apparently, all she had to do to inform them was to walk to the exit.
With this, I have nothing else to do but to sit here and dwell in my shame.

Maybe I should have bought books in the city.
However, they are expensive and I had no money to spend.
Liseti apparently had some and gave it to mum to shop for clothes.

What I could think about right now would be how I would like to arrange some lockers and cabinets.
There should be a way and I definitely want to own stuff in the future.
Just because my body was rededicated into public property doesn't mean I cannot own stuff of my own.

Huh, it seems I try really desperately to distract myself from this state?
I mean I am honestly unpresentable.
And the reason is that hundreds of insects grow inside me.
Having any judging humans see me now would be the worst.

 

"What is the meaning of this! Let me through!" (T)

 

What!? Why!?

 

"I know you are in there! How can you leave us in an empty room and refuse to receive us! What kind of treatment of a foreign ambassador is this?" (T)

 

Maybe I left them on their own, but she's starting to become a bit annoying.
However, at the moment I panic because she might see me through a gap between the workers in front of the gateway.
I really need doors!

Hiding behind the table, which is an accumulation of earthen concrete and like this an effective visual obstruction I answer.

 

"I'm sorry, but it's a bad time right now!" (E)

"It's bad?! And when will it be fine?" (T)

 

Kyska said it will take around five days. So...

 

"In two days?" (E)

"Two days!? Are you serious?! What are we even here for?! This insolence!" (T)

 

This was maybe not the best way to handle a foreign delegation, but can anyone hold it against me that I am indisposed?
Well, I can't tell them, but this doesn't change that I am objectively in the right.

Fortunately, Temia ends her rage on her own, without anyone getting hurt.
Mostly I was worried about her, as she was not really nice to the guards.
And yes, next to the workers I also had some guardians.
Didn't keep her from acting up to her fury directly in front of them.
But now I still have to wait until I can be covered enough to leave this room.
Even if I barely can walk.

Miwa had to help me back up on the bench.
Yet if I can trust in one thing then it's that these insects work quick.
Like this, Suki returns rather quickly with the dress.
But she looks a little hurried.
I hope I don't force too much on her.

 

<Here is your requested dress my princess.> (S)

"Thank you Suki. Is everything alright? Are there any problems?" (E)

"Your family is fine, but they appear to be a little troubled. Your guests are a little restless. Especially this noble. But also the other one makes demands. She wants to leave the courtyard and be guided around." (S)

"This should be fine right? As long it's not a restricted area I see no reason to deny it. Keeping them occupied should be for the better." (E)

"If you wish so, my princess." (S)

"Why not let Skiras do it? With them gone there wouldn't be anything he has to protect me from." (E)

 

Not that I think they would harm me, but I have some respect regarding Temia's anger.

 

"I will instruct him." (S)

 

Next, I put the dress on that Suki brought.
Naturally, with the help of these two, as I really need someone to hold me upright and one to help me slip in.
The dress sits loose, but is wearable and obscures my outline.
Together with the cloak, which I still own from Liseti, I don't look like a severe case of... something.

Now the only issue that keeps me from walking out, is that I can barely walk at all.
Yet Suki said my family is troubled and considering the situation, the only reason should be me.
Specifically, the question father asked yesterday.
So I have to show up, to soothe everyone by acting like I'm fine.
Even if I worry more by the minute that my stomach might explode.
While the two bring me out, I try to find a way that doesn't look like I am pushing myself too hard to stay upright.

A task made extremely complicated by the fact, that the moment those two let go I might instantly fall down.
Nonetheless, I try to make a relaxed impression when I enter my family's room.
It looks nice when I see it the first time.
They even have separate beds, yet I might need to ask for it to get expanded so it's more than one room.
The insects might have misinterpreted when I said that family ties are important.
In the long run, they might go crazy like this.
Especially because of Toris.

They notice me shortly after I enter.
I would have knocked, but without doors, this is rather difficult.
And why I would like to wave at them, this would break the little stability I have.

 

"Erys, there you are! We missed you this morning. Did you eat alone?" (F)

"Yes. Yes I did. Did you receive any meals yet?" (E)

"Sure, Suki brought us all a full course menu! We had grain with berries. Toris liked it. They were sweet." (F)

 

Sigh, they've got the better nurse.
Yet it's not exactly Miwa's fault for not knowing my exact diet after such a sudden appointment.

 

"Then I am glad. Uh, hi dad." (E)

 

Not sure how I should handle myself in front of him.
By now he should be aware of what is going on with me.

 

"You... how are you?" (R)

 

He looks uncertain at me.

 

"You see... well... basically I think it's fine." (E)

"You don't look that way." (R)

 

These assumptions might be to a good degree based on the fact that two nurses have to support me.
There is only so much I can do to cover this up.

 

"Just small issues. Nothing serious. Or rather, nothing permanent." (E)

 

Not sure if he will buy this, but nothing else comes to my mind.
Yet the longer I stand, the harder it gets to do so.

 

"Can I take a seat?" (E)

"Sure!" (F)

 

Mother has apparently caught onto my current state and helps me sit down on one of the earthen stools.
The problem is in doing so she comes dangerously close to noticing how heavy I am.
The atmosphere doesn't get any better.

 

"Where is Toris?" (E)

"Somewhere around here. He wanted to look around and Suki assigned a nurse to look for him." (F)

 

Suki nods next to me.
I guess there is no reason to worry then.
If he's still in the courtyard it should be fine.
As long the nurse doesn't believe he's a youngling and in the end, brings him back to the nursery.

Shit!
Now I'm getting worried!
I hope it will be fine.

 

"Nice that you trust them this much." (E)

"I know Suki. She wouldn't be casual about this." (F)

"Ie would never dare to!" (S)

"That was never in question." (E)

"Is there anything special you wanted?" (F)

"Well, I think I should tell you that tomorrow I might be busy. So I wanted to inform you that I might not have any time. Sorry." (E)

"You don't need to apologize, Ery!" (F)

"It's "that", right?" (R)

"Mother told you, huh?" (E)

"Sigh, how could this happen?" (R)

"I still just know that the queen stung me and then it gradually happened. Might be hard, but would you mind if we don't make this a big thing? Or even better, never talk about it again? This would make it a lot easier for me to keep it together." (E)

"I, I understand. But still." (R)

"Look, I can at least improve our general situation. There might be bad stuff, but it's not like we are destitute. It's my body now and I have to come to terms with it. For the rest, it's not bad here. Or at least, I can make it not bad." (E)

"Nonetheless, what they did to you." (R)

"It was basically the queen on her own. Not that no one supports her and her decisions, but I can't blame anyone in specific. So I can just do the best with what I have. And this is apparently a giant insect army." (E)

"If you say it like this it sounds ridiculous." (F)

"It's the situation. On the other hand, I just negotiated with a lord on equal terms. Can't tell me you would have expected that to happen before." (E)

"No, not really. And you can now wear all the clothes you ever wanted." (F)

"With concession. These adjustments. Sigh!" (E)

 

At least mother is smart enough not to ask why I don't have the one she bought me.
Then I notice someone at the entrance, which is strange, as this place should be off-limits for everyone who isn't already in here.
And Skiras and Toris, but those aren't the ones out there.
Looking there closer I find a nurse, but she looks different.
She hasn't the same innate submissive demeanor but is more secure in her ways.

 

<Criek/Hello?> (E)

 

I greet in insect speech, as most insects aren't able to understand human language.
They might get the pheromones, but without the right command, it is apparently hard to catch the exact meaning.
Nurses and messengers are more intelligent, so they can figure it out, but this doesn't apply to all of them and won't work without any preparation.
This is no reason why I should make it more difficult for them.

 

"Theere iz no neeed to adapt to me, princess!" (nurse)

 

Well, that came quite surprising.

 

"Who are you?" (E)

 

Obviously not one of my nurses or Suki would have used her and not Miwa who cannot speak human.

 

"Ie am Welu and Ie came heere sent by priencezs Liseti and ought to ienform you in advance." (W)

"Inform? About what?" (E)

"For takieng your motheer wieth meee!" (W)

"Excuse me, what!?" (E)

"Sorry, I don't understand!" (F)

"Ie am ought to accompany you to your assiegnment. Farraahh was iet?" (W)

"Assignment?" (E)

"Your motheer spoke of wantieng to work ien thee nursery, princess Eryys." (W)

 

I remember, but Liseti knows that too?

 

"Isn't this a little sudden?" (E)

"Priencezs Liseti dislikes wastieng time and specieally assiegneed mee to attend that matteer and guiide her! Shee also sends her thankz for thee gift!" (W)

"Gift?" (E)

"I maybe gave her one of the dresses I bought in town. She didn't look displeased." (F)

"You did what?! Why?!" (E)

"I thought she might look good in red. Also she was very supportive towards us!" (F)

 

God, everyone acts rogue when I don't look.

 

"And now?" (E)

"I have no problems with that." (F)

"You will go!?" (R)

"Why not? It's an honor as I've understood it." (F)

"Iet iz! Thiez iz thee mozt vulnerable core of our soziety! Ief not for thee priencezzez thEmseelf! Thiez showz how much my priencezz trustz yuu!" (W)

"See?" (F)

 

The issue is that it would be incredibly rude to decline Liseti's friendly act.
Yet it makes me a little worried to have mum walking alone through the hive.
I was told that because my scent is on them, my family wouldn't get targeted, but how far does this apply?
Do the infant insects even know this?
What is if she shall perform something she can't do?

But I should take into consideration that we talk here about Liseti.
She would never act carelessly.
Even more, the simple fact that this nurse can speak my language is proof of how much preparation went into this.
Also, I can't just lock them up. I don't even have doors!

 

"Alright, I won't tell you what to do, but..." (E)

 

I look at the nurse.

 

"... please keep in mind that my mother might not be like you. Be considerate of her and don't push her too much!" (E)

"Naturallye! Ie am awaare of her importance!" (W)

"Gosh, you treat me like I am not the least bit dependable." (F)

"It's more that I fear you have no idea of their crazy working spirit." (E)

"If you say so." (F)

"Alright, then have fun." (E)

"We will see if I like it there." (F)

 

And with this, my mother became a working member of the insect society.
A little bit much for my taste this early the day.