Futile Love

Chapter 111: Chapter 111

Ruhae.

Never did she expect that she would hear his name at this moment.

‘I can’t cover the sky with the palm of my hand…’ she thought to herself.

She could cover her mouth with both hands but not the sky.

She didn’t mean to.

Hearing Bipaan mentioning Ruhae made her feel like it was all over.

She felt drained.

She rested her arms on the bed casually and breathed out lightly.

She was not sure if he could hear her breathing, but she couldn’t hear his voice anymore.

And neither of them went to sleep.

Time passed silently in the darkness. Eventually, a ray of sunshine came through the window. When the sunlight reached Bipaan on the cushion mat, he got up and went straight to the door.

When he touched the door to open it, he turned and asked her on the bed, “Do you know what my name is?”

He felt bitter. When he heard it eleven years ago, he never forgot his name literally meant ‘cold rain.’ Foolishly enough, he never thought of telling her about his name, and she was unaware of his name until then. Her heart sank.

“Ahn. Danmok Ahn.”

Having said that, he went out of her room.

She just sat on the bed for a long time after he left the room.

Only now did she know that his name was Ahn, which meant ‘hill’.

The imperial palace, which was quiet and empty as usual during the winter, suddenly became noisy because of Kyosul’s pregnancy.

The palace people were full of joy when they heard about her pregnancy, which came on the close heels of Princess Heyjin’s deliverance of baby girl Koryon. Royal doctors went to the Dongbi Palace several times and confirmed that she was pregnant. In particular, the court ladies at the Dongbi Palace rejoiced as if they had something to celebrate at their homes. Royal doctors offered herbal decoction for the baby in her womb. Concubine Sassi, whom Kyosul treated as her mother, stopped by her residence every day, but Kyosul didn’t hear from her only friend, Kyoyoung, Bipaan’s second wife.

Though Kyosul seemed to know the reason, she could not hide her bitter feelings.

One day when Kyosul was keeping well amid the palace people’s affectionate attention, Kyoyoung, who she lost track of for sometime, visited her in a long time. There was an awkward silence between the two women facing each other.

Kyoyoung put her teacup on the refreshment tray with a thump. Kyosul was surprised at that and looked at her face.

“Kyoyoung…”

“Don’t call me that, Your Highness!”

She suddenly felt scared at her voice as Kyoyoung used to speak in a kind voice. Kyosul felt cold sweat rolling down her back.

After looking at Kyosul with mixed feelings for a while, she said just one word, “Congratulations!”

But her facial expression reflected that her feelings that were the opposite of congratulations as she bit her lip.

Kyoyoung’s bloodshot eyes focused on Kyosul. At that moment tears came down from her red, unblinking eyes.

“Kyoyoung!”

“I’ve asked you not to call me that.”

Although Kyosul called her name, embarrassed by her sudden tears, Kyoyoung responded coldly. Kyosul quickly pulled back.

“I’m a princess, and I’m not your friend or sister at all!”

In the end, Kyoyoung raised her voice. Kyosul lowered her head. After speaking out her mind, Kyoyoung sprang to her feet with a flush. Kyosul couldn’t stop her from leaving. The court ladies on standby opened the door, sensing Kyoyoung’s approaching the door. When she was about to cross the door, Kyosul said feebly, “Are you not going to stay as my friend?”

The last words she barely uttered were muffled by the sound of her closing the door with a bang.

Kyosul could understand her feelings.

On the surface, it was natural that Kyosul was pregnant as Bipaan’s wife.

Kyosul was scared of Bipaan from the moment she met him, but Kyoyoung felt different. She had been missing him for a long time and even confessed to Kyosul that she still loved him.

Kyosul never imagined how betrayed she felt when she heard about Kyosul’spregnancy.

But Kyosul couldn’t tell her the truth about her baby’s biological father to soothe Kyoyoung.

She had to hide it to the end.

The only known fact outsiders should know was that Bipaan spent one night in Kyosul’s room and she got pregnant after that.

If the truth about the baby was known, she, Ruhae and her baby would be in grave danger.

As she couldn’t tell the truth to Kyoyoung, she agonized by herself. She now lost the only friendship she had in this barren palace. She could no longer expect to speak to Kyoyoung as a friend. Although she understood Kyoyoung’s sense of betrayal and anger, she felt sorry for her own fate as she couldn’t comfort Kyoyoung.

***

Suddenly, Ruhae visited Kyosul as she was relaxing in her room. He was accompanied by lots of palace officials who had numerous books and stationery in their hands

With a smile on his face, he entered the room with a book in hand. They waited outside her room.

“May the Crown Princess live long! I’m honored to see you.”

As if he was conscious of the court ladies on standby outside the room, Ruhae only bowed gently this time. Looking at the pile of books they were holding, she opened her eyes wide.

Standing up from the cushion mat hesitantly, Ruhae approached her.

“Prince Ruhae, what business has brought you here?”

“I received the emperor’s order. From now on, I’m going to be your teacher,” replied Ruhae with a bright smile. “To put it more accurately, I’m going to be your baby’s teacher.”

Ruhae was known as the most erudite and scholastic figure among many literary men in the palace. Of course, there were many learned scholars in other palaces, but he had lots of interest in classics from the beginning, so he could interpret most of classics by himself, so much so that even his teacher recognized Ruhae’s deep learning.

It was natural that he was chosen as the teacher in charge of a princess’ prenatal education. After she was briefed by Ruhae about his new assignment, she was even more surprised to know that she had to read all the books they were holding in their hands.

“Do you mean I need to read all those books for prenatal education?”

“Well, you can raise your baby as a member of the outstanding royal family only when you know about the Mok Kingdom well.”

Ruhae was adamant in this regard. She let out a little sigh, looking down at her belly and picked up a book.

The palace officials put the books they were holding in the library of the Dongbi Palace and arranged them before leaving the palace. Led by Ruhae to the library, she sat down at the desk and turned the pages of a book. Nonetheless, he was all smiles.

“Are you really well versed in learning, Ruhae?”

“Well, I have memorized the contents of all these books.”

“You’re lying!”

While looking at him with suspicion, she turned over the pages of the book that she was holding, and asked quickly, “What is the fifth line on page forty six of this book?”

“Well, do you think I can answer if you ask like that?”

“Please try to answer.”

In response to her mischievous challenge, he shook his head as if she was helpless and said in a low voice, “This is what it says there. When King Sokjong said, ‘The most important factor in a prince’s qualities is his character. How can a prince without character rule his people?’ His son Taemunjang bowed to him…”

Discovering that he recited the same phrases correctly, she was aghast and her mouth fell open.

“I’m amazed how you can memorize and recite it verbatim. Are you sure you’re a human?”

“I told you already that I memorized everything. I am not lying.”

“But I just wonder how you can memorize the exact line of the exact page in the book.”

Grinning at her who was grumbling, he stroked her head. She quietly smile and gently closed her eyes. He then looked at her and carefully put his hand on her belly.

“Maybe this baby will grow to be very smart.”

When she opened her eyes briefly, she looked into his eyes.

The two exchanged a happy smile for a moment, but suddenly her expression grew dark.

He seemed to know the reason for it, so his expression also hardened a bit. But he tried to smile at her because she would feel more stressed if he felt depressed like her.

“I’m sorry to everyone.”

“Everyone?”

“Yes, everyone including the emperor and the queen who are overjoyed to hear about my pregnancy, the emperor’s concubines, Sassi, Princess Kyoyoung and even Crown Prince Bipaan…”

While calling their names slowly, she was choked with tears.

“I’m so happy, but I’m so afraid and sorry at the same time. However…”

“It’s our baby. As everybody congratulate you, please deliver a baby happily. ”

“I just don’t know well…”

Her eyes trembled nervously.