Futile Love

Ruhae felt heavy while he was putting his hand on her belly. Putting her hands on his, she closed her eyes. In her womb a baby was growing. If the truth about the baby was discovered, no one would forgive it.

“Bipaan told me that he will send you to a prince state in the border area and appoint you as its prince regent.”

“Well, it’s not common to receive such a royal title, so I am so happy to hear that.”

“I’m sad because you’re going to be away from me and my baby in a faraway prince kingdom.”

In the end, the tears welling in her eyes began to come down her cheeks. When she cried, he could no longer smile at her as if he was indifferent.

He kissed her tears and said, “Shall we just run away?”

“Ruhae?”

“Shall we just escape to a faraway place secretly with our baby where nobody in the Mok Kingdom can reach us?”

She was restless. He mentioned the idea when they met at the royal guest house in Kongrimok in the southern area in early autumn.

“Ruhae, that matter is…”

She had no choice but to take a dim view of his idea. Despite her disapproving reponse, he continued, “I’ve been thinking about it since I talked to you about it in Kongrimok. The more I love you, the more I thought about it. Even when you turned away from me, I looked toward the Dongbi Palace and thought about climbing over the palace wall after carrying you on my back. Of course, I was worried you might have a hard time adjusting to life outside the palace, but as I was selfish, I thought you would just feel fine and relaxed as long as you stayed with me, so I thought I would like to flee to a place nobody knew and live a happy life together…”

“That’s enough, Ruhae. Please stop it.”

Kyosul put her hand on his mouth.

More tears came down from her eyes. Her hands were trembling.

“I don’t know. If you tell me about it…”

He looked at her gently and gently hugged her after putting down her trembling hands.

“You’re fine, Kyosul, as you’re young. That was my little selfish hope that I could stay by your side forever… . ”

He soon gave up the idea of escaping with her.

‘As you are too young to understand my intention, I think I have to give up.’

He felt a bit bitter, but she couldn’t notice it because she was wrapped in his arms.

“I also want to stay with you, and I don’t want to be separated from you. Why should he send you to the prince state?”

When he was in his thoughts with her in his arms, he looked at her with a bright smile. She was a bit bewildered for a moment. Her tears stopped.

“I’ve got a good idea. Although you need Bipaan’s approval, I think I can stay with you for a very long time if he okays it.”

“What is it?”

“Well, the thing is I’m going to be our baby’s teacher. As I have already been in charge of your prenatal education, I can naturally become the baby’s teacher. Maybe I can stay with him in the imperial palace until he comes of age. ”

Forgetting that she cried until a moment ago, she clapped with a big smile.

“Wow! That’s a good idea! I can stay with you for a long time.”

This time she jumped into his arms. He stroked her back silently. Her joy was enough to hide his genuine feelings at the moment. As she was wrapped in his arms, she could not notice his sad look. Though he said that to reassure her, he knew Bipaan would not approve her request to have Ruhae as her baby’s teacher.

Her prenatal education immediately began. She learned about the history, literature, art, and many other fields in the morning. After having lunch, she took an hour’s break then participated in a hands-on class. Although her daily schedule was tight, she was happy because her teacher was Ruhae.

Although she had not eaten much, she had bad morning sickness. Lots of kitchen maids took special care of her food and snacks. After she was done having lunch a moment ago, she was enjoying some cookies when a court lady announced, “Your Highness, the Queen has arrived!”

A little later the door opened, and Queen Taeryeong came in. Kyosul stood up in amazement. As the queen arrived without any notice, Kyosul got cold feet momentarily and lowered her head hurriedly.

“Long live the Queen! I’m honored to see you.”

And then she was about to yield her upper seat to her, the queen, with her pet weasel around her neck, waved her hand and said, “No, you don’t have to. Just sit in your place as you’re pregnant.”

“How dare I sit in the upper seat before the queen?” she said in a trembling voice.

It was the first time she met with the queen alone. She saw the queen briefly at a banquet at a distance. Kyosul was at a loss about what to do, even though the queen asked her to just sit down. Noticing her uncomfortable posture, Queen Taeryeong, holding her pet weasel on the shoulder, gently stroked its fur and smiled at her.

“Are you going to make me feel pain in my neck? As you’re pregnant, just sit. ”

She was grateful to the queen for her kindness and sat back on the seat but kneeled, still feeling uncomfortable. When she was looking at the queen’s white hand decorated with pointed nail ornaments gently stroking the weasel’s fur, the nanny came in with her head down holding a refreshment tray and put it down before her politely.

As she was already eating some cookies before the queen came in, the nanny placed tea and other kinds of snacks on the plate and left. When Kyosul was about to reach out and pour the tea into the teacup, the queen quickly picked up the teapot.

“Just make yourself at ease.”

With a gentle smile, the queen poured tea into two small teacups, handed one to her and picked up another for herself. After sipping tea a bit, the queen put her hand on the weasel and asked, “Do you know my pet’s name?”

“Oh, I understand its name is Paekye.”

As she heard its name in passing in the past, she was not so sure.

“Yes, correct. Its name is Paekye. It means a white lion. I really value it as I got it in my later years. ”

The queen looked down at the weasel, Paekye, with a gentle gaze. Paekye, with its nose buried in her lapel, made a squeaking sound. As she put her hand on its face, the weasel licked her hand. As Kyosul looked at her cuddling Paekye blankly, the queen suddenly asked her.

“But it’s a bit surprising.”

“Pardon?”

The queen turned her eyes away from the weasel and looked at her.

Though she was an old woman, her eyes were intense.

‘Isn’t she the queen of a great empire?’ she thought to herself at that moment.

Although she met her eyes very briefly, Kyosul flinched and trembled.

She couldn’t avoid her sharp and penetrating eyes. Fixing her gaze on Kyosul, she said, “Although I am Bipaan’s biological mother, I thought he would never open his heart to anybody, and I was convinced that I was right in my judgement. That’s why I can’t understand how come he …”

“Oh, I see…”

Although she responded quietly, her heart was beating fast.

The queen correctly understood that part of Bipaan’s character: his cold-heartedness.

She continued, “He’s so cold-hearted. Though I’m his biological mother, he is so formal even to me. When he looks at me with a cold look, I feel like I’m being intimidated. Basically, he was born to be the crown prince and the emperor. I just wonder how he could kindly accept you…”

“The Crown Prince is a warm-hearted man.”

Although she had been offended by Bipaan’s cold attitude, she just listened to the queen when the latter began to complain about him.

Clearly, Bipaan seemed to be able to read everyone’s mind with that cool, sharp eye.

But she remembered that his hands were really warm.

In fact, his hands were warmer than anybody’s that she touched so far.

After she shut her mouth when Kyosul responded, she looked at Kyosul for a moment and then grinned all of a sudden.

“I was worried about you because you came here to get married at the emperor’s order, but I think my concern was groundless. I’m glad to know that you really understand Bipaan rightly.”

The queen laughed. Kyosul also smiled like her, but could not smile comfortably.

‘Understand him right?’

In fact, she didn’t. The only fact that she knew about him was that his hands were warm.

Shortly after the queen left, the court day on standby called her again.

“Princess Heyjin wants to inquire about you.”

“Let her in.”