Hard Luck Hermit

“You ever think about buying a house?”

“Why the fuck would I want a house,” Tooley said. “It’s like a shitty spaceship that’s stuck to the ground.”

“Roomier, though.”

“The Wanderer’s plenty roomy.”

“Tooley, we’re on a space station and these houses are still bigger,” Corey said. They were strolling the enclosed halls of one of Centerpoint’s residential districts, on their way to To Vo’s house.

“Yeah, but these are the expensive ones,” Tooley said. “Average house is probably a lot smaller.”

“We have ‘expensive house’ money, though.”

“Why’re you making it a ‘we’ thing?” Tooley said. “You want a house, get a house. I’ll stick to the ship.”

“It was a hypothetical,” Corey said. “You know, like, what would you do if you weren’t a pilot?”

“Probably kill myself.”

“Never mind,” Corey said. They were almost at To Vo’s house anyway.

Corey and Tooley were the only ones accepting the dinner invitation. Kamak had lno interest in spending an entire evening conversing with To Vo, while Farsus and Doprel had declined slightly more politely, as they had other priorities on Centerpoint. Tooley herself had taken some convincing, but Corey had managed. To Vo La Su had contributed a great deal to their continued survival, and she was also one of the only people Tooley knew who liked the same murder mystery drama series. She had no one else to talk about the murderous twists and turns with.

In spite of her initial reluctance, Tooley still took the lead and hit the intercom button on the front of Tooley’s house.

“Hey, it’s us.”

“Who’s ‘us’?”

The voice was not only confused, but clearly male. Tooley did a quick double check of the housing unit number. It matched the one To Vo had given them. She started to wonder if Corey hadn’t actually missed an encoded message.

“Tooley and Corey Vash,” Corey said. “We’re here to see To Vo? Is this not her house?”

“Oh, right! That’s today,” the male voice said. “One second, sorry.”

After a momentary delay, the door clicked open. The person who answered the door was still definitely not To Vo, though there was a definite resemblance. They were both of the same species, with the same furry skin and leonine features, though this man had much darker black and brown stripes than To Vo’s light brown fur. He was also about three feet taller.

“Hi! So nice to meet you,” the striped stranger said. He smiled, which was probably intended to be friendly, but the massive tusks and fangs in his mouth made it look naturally threatening.

“Nice to meet you too,” Corey said.

“There you are!”

Much to the relief of Corey and Tooley, the familiar face of To Vo swooped out of the door, as short as ever. They were beginning to worry the big man had been holding her hostage. To Vo gave both of them a quick, one-armed hug, and then stepped back, revealing that her other arm had been occupied holding on to something: a much smaller, but still furry, baby.

“Uh-”

“Sorry, let me introduce you,” To Vo said. “This is Den Cal Vor, my mate, and this is To Ru Co Re-”

She held the baby out towards Corey. He held out his hands instinctively, and To Vo deposited the swaddled baby into his arms. It was, thankfully, very calm about the transition, and stared up at Corey with bright yellow eyes, apparently baffled by his furless appearance.

“-my daughter.”

“Your daughter?”

“Yes! She’s a month old,” To Vo said. “Oh, relative to our homeworld calendar. That’s about two and a half Centerpoint months.”

“Cool,” Tooley said. She didn’t know what else to say. She was just glad To Vo hadn’t tried to hand the baby off to her. She didn’t like babies.

“Please, come in,” To Vo said. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

Corey stepped inside, and immediately started scouting for excuses to put the baby down. He didn’t see any cradles or beds lying around, so he settled for walking up to Den Cal and holding the baby in his direction.

“I think she’s getting a little fussy,” Corey lied. “Strangers, you know.”

“Oh, she hasn’t met many new people,” Den Cal said. He apparently matched his mate’s naivete, because he didn’t see through Corey’s obvious lies. He took his daughter back and tried to calm down a baby that was already perfectly calm.

“So, I guess that’s what you wanted to tell us about, then?”

“Of course,” To Vo said. “I would’ve mentioned it on the phone, but, uh…”

“It is bad luck to share news of an offspring unseen,” Den Cal said. To Vo nodded in such a way that made it clear she was not quite on board with the superstition, but she was trying to humor her mate.

“This whole...us, has been very experimental for a while,” To Vo said. She fiddled with a few dishes on a stovetop for a second and then got back to the conversation. “Our species hasn’t really ever done the ‘happy household’ thing.”

“We’re probably some of the first Mishta to try mating for more than a month, much less for life,” Den Cal added. “In the old ways, if a man wanted a mate, he took it by force. You could see why that wouldn’t work out for me.”

Corey looked up at the comparatively large Den Cal.

“Are you small for your species?”

“Oh, yes, significantly,” Den Cal said. “Are you?”

“I’m about average sized,” Corey said. Den Cal bent over to look Corey in the eyes.

“Really? How do you get anything done?”

“Denny,” To Vo said. “What’d I tell you about insensitive questions?”

“Oh, sorry,” Den Cal said. He looked guiltily at his mate and then turned back to Corey. “Sorry if I offended you. I’m a little new to, you know, everything out here.”

“Hey, no worries, I’ve been there,” Corey said. A few years ago, he’d been the one asking dumb questions. He could hardly begrudge Den Cal’s queries.

Den Cal gestured them to a nearby dining table to take a seat. Corey was surprised at how ‘human’ the layout of the space was. There was a designated kitchen attached to a dining room, which all connected to a central living room, with couches and chairs arranged around something that at least resembled a TV. Barring some of the futuristic appliances, Corey could’ve found hundreds of houses just like this on Earth. It almost made him homesick.

“As I was saying earlier, sorry for leaving you in the dark,” To Vo said. “I just wanted to be sure all of this would work, and, well-”

She gestured grandly to her mate and her daughter.

“It’s working!”

“Yeah, working great,” Tooley said. “You’ve definitely got a functioning-”

Corey could see the end of that sentence coming a mile away, and gave Tooley a light kick under the table.

“-family,” Tooley said. “Very cute baby.”

“Adorable,” Corey said.

“So, how have you two been doing?” To Vo said. “Still keeping busy with corporate security?”

“Not if we can avoid it,” Tooley grunted.

“Mostly,” Corey said. “It’s been kind of hard to find other jobs. But it pays well, at least.”

“I know the feeling,” To Vo said. “Feels like I have to attend some kind of ceremony or signing every few weeks.”

Something in her kitchen made a loud beeping noise, and To Vo rushed off to tend to some plates and dishes with Den Cal hot on her heels. She returned with a bowl and a plate in her hands, which she set down in front of Corey and Tooley respectively. Corey immediately recognized the familiar heady spices of Benth, a kind of spicy curry Tooley enjoyed, while Corey received a slab of expertly grilled brown meat. It looked like a steak, and even smelled like a steak, but Corey had learned not to make assumptions. He had also learned not to offend his hosts by asking questions, so he dug in alongside everyone else. To his pleasant surprise, he found that the steak-looking thing also tasted like steak.

“Huh. What is this?”

“Steak.”

“Oh, yeah, but like, what animal is it from?”

“A cow,” To Vo said.

Corey stared down at the meat, and then took another bite of it. After a few seconds of thoughtful chewing, he could not deny that it was a perfect match.

“Like a cow from Earth?”

“Yes.”

“Where did you get a cow? Did you fly to Earth and abduct one just for this dinner?”

“No, they were- have you not heard?”

“Have I not heard what?”

“Corey, they already started Earth’s uplifting,” To Vo said. “The first human ambassador arrived three swaps ago.”

Corey stared directly at To Vo for a solid ten seconds without saying anything. His fork shook lightly in his hands -and then it stabbed back into the steak.

“So did they butcher the cow before launch and just box it up, or did they drag a whole cow into space?”

He shoved the next bite of steak into his mouth and took a long, long time to chew.