Hard Mode Idol

My steely nerves had already been tempered by countless rejections. Come to think of it, I’ve worked hard to live my life. I diligently approached people here and there, in hopes of getting even one person to open their heart to me. In the end, I retreated to my room and sulked, but I feel like I tried my best.

I returned to my spot and continued my awkward, exasperated dancing. I need the points. But the main mission is an impassable cliff. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Is it time for me to cling to the dance coach? I just hope we can reach a compromise about my stamina issue. It’s embarrassing to change my mind so quickly, but I have no choice. Even if it feels like I’m wasting time, I’ll have to practice alone until after 9 AM when the director arrives.

“Is that XL’s ‘Whistle’ song?”

Huh? Did he change his mind? If he’s willing to teach me, I should seize the opportunity and respond quickly.

“Yes.”

Baek Kanghyun connected his phone to a Bluetooth speaker, making the song play throughout the practice room.

“Wow!”

I gazed at him with sparkling eyes.

“Kanghyun, are you going to help me?”

I’ll call him familiarly. Even if he rejects me, no big deal. Baek Kanghyun’s brow furrowed slightly before returning to normal.

“What was your name again?”

“It’s Haon. Jin Haon.”

“Do you like dancing?”

“Yes! Why?”

“Your expression is good.”

“Mine? I thought I looked completely miserable.”

He acted like he would teach me, but why is he just asking questions? Doesn’t he dislike me? Usually, people don’t inquire about someone they dislike.

“No, you did look a bit miserable, but it seemed like you didn’t dislike dancing, just that you regretted not being able to do it well.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

I nodded vigorously in emphatic agreement. It’s true that I’m doing this for the weekly mission, but that’s just my motivation. Originally, I liked both dancing and singing.

If I had to pinpoint the happiest moments of my past life, I could definitively say it was on stage. It was the most painful, but also the most enjoyable time. That’s why I stubbornly couldn’t give it up.

So just imagine how thrilled I am now. The cute hostility from the members is easy to ignore, as every day is enjoyable. Baek Kanghyun stared at me for a moment before nodding and speaking.

“Dance. I’ll help you.”

“Wow, thank you!”

Before he could change his mind, I quickly performed the choreography for the current section of the song. Baek Kanghyun gave detailed feedback from start to finish, to the point where it was almost embarrassing to hear “like this.” In other words, I needed corrections from start to finish.

I know. Even I can see it. But it’s only effective when someone else points it out, what can I do!

You can’t get drunk on the first drink. With my current dancing stats, there’s no way I could get an S-rank. But thanks to Baek Kanghyun’s coaching, going from C+ to B- was a surprise. It meant my experience points had increased by a whopping 180 in just a few hours.

It was similar to the rate of improvement when I trained with the vocal coach. I could guess the reason. The points Baek Kanghyun highlighted were that precise. He was far better than my dance trainer from my past life.

“You’re a quick learner. Good sense of rhythm too. You follow instructions well. Just a bit sloppy and lacking stamina.”

I lay sprawled on the floor, panting. My stamina stat was low, so I was pretending to be more exhausted than I actually was.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you in the practice rooms before. Why haven’t you come until now?”

“I was practicing vocals. I want to sing well.”

“You said you like dancing?”

“I like both dancing and singing. Is it greedy to want both?”

No response. I simply crawled over and grabbed a 500ml water bottle. My throat was parched, so my stamina wasn’t recovering.

“Oh, by the way, bro.”

As I called out to him, Baek Kanghyun tilted his head towards me. He does react when addressed. Even the first time we met, he acknowledged me in his way, by just nodding his head.

“Why do you dislike me? Do you dislike me because of… the previous leader?”

Ah, I forgot his name again. What was it? Jae-hoon or Jun-hwan? To avoid calling him the wrong name, I settled for “the previous leader.”

“Why would I dislike you?”

But the main mission says you dislike me, doesn’t it?

“You don’t?”

“No. I’m indifferent towards you.”

“Ahh.”

So being indifferent counts as disliking? I’d much rather have indifference though. It will be easier for Baek Kanghyun to become neutral. Getting even one person effortlessly is good, right? But come to think of it, isn’t neutrality essentially indifference? It’s confusing.

“Why did you think I disliked you?”

“Everyone seems to dislike me.”

“I don’t care about the members. I have no reason to dislike you.”

“I see.”

As my stamina recovered a bit, I stood up again. Dancing and singing seemed like they would consume a lot of stamina, but surprisingly, they didn’t. Perhaps because I enjoy them. Stamina faithfully reflects one’s state of mind.

I resumed practicing. Baek Kanghyun, who I thought had lost interest, occasionally provided coaching. I gratefully accepted his guidance and was gaining experience points when the practice room door suddenly burst open. It was Puppy – ah, I forgot his name again. I checked the mission window again. Park Yoochan.

“Hello.”

After wiping the sweat off my brow, I greeted him. Park Yoochan paused when he saw me, then grinned. A fox, smiling at me despite disliking me. The perfect type to act in front of cameras.

“Hello. Haon. Practicing your dancing, I see.”

“Yes. I’m planning to do vocal training in the afternoon, so I wanted to practice dancing until lunch. Feel free to speak casually since I’m younger.”

His smile remained, but I could sense a hint of dislike. I may not know other things, but I can sense dislike like a sixth sense. Park Yoochan’s gaze briefly shifted to Baek Kanghyun before returning to me.

“Right, I should since you’re the youngest. Were you two alone together?”

His tone was soft and gentle, but with the nuance that he was only being accommodating because I was a member of the debut team. The type to prioritize logic over emotion. I get a good vibe from this person in many ways. We could maintain a good business relationship.

“Yes. He was watching my dancing.”

“……Really?”

This time, he openly turned his head, demanding an answer. Baek Kanghyun let out a small sigh and turned away, an obvious dismissal. Park Yoochan’s expression soured, but returned to normal when looking at me. He’s quite skilled at maintaining a smiling face too.

“Isn’t it difficult?”

“No. It’s manageable.”

“……I see.”

The conversation died. Park Yoochan set down his bag and began stretching. His flexible body bent smoothly.

“Can I ask you one thing?”

“Me?”

“Yes.”

“Sure, go ahead.”

Park Yoochan hesitated before opening his mouth. After seeming to make up his mind, he tightly shut his eyes, then opened them and looked at me.

“What did the CEO say when he brought you here?”

Hmm, it seems he’s onto something?

“He said my appearance is attractive. That it catches people’s attention. He told me to try auditioning if I’m interested in being an idol.”

“Where?”

“Close to the company. At XX Cafe.”

“Is that the truth?”

“Yes. I frequented that cafe for about 2 weeks. The part-timer noona even saw me get his business card, so if you want, I can have her confirm it.”

Park Yoochan’s questions stopped. After a pause, he cautiously asked.

“……Then did you used to sing?”

His eyelashes fluttered delicately, as if he expected a certain answer from me. But I had no reason to lie, so I told the truth. Believe it or not.

“As a hobby. When I was cast, they didn’t ask if I could sing or dance well. They just told me not to worry and to be comfortable when auditioning since they would train me.”

Park Yoochan visibly stiffened. His pupils shook within his contorted face. His lips kept opening and closing, quivering. Finally, in a faint voice like exhaling his last breath, he spoke.

“……Then, really. No, that can’t be.”

Park Yoochan staggered. Seeing him sway unsteadily, I reached out my arm, but he flinched away, batting my hand aside. Park Yoochan’s eyes widened, as if shocked by his own action. Then, in a tiny voice, he apologized and rushed out.

“He does that again.”

Baek Kanghyun muttered with a sigh.

“Again?”

“Don’t mind him. That’s what happens when he can’t control his emotions. He’ll calm down on his own and come back.”

I was already concerned, and that comment only made me more worried. If he really wants me to not mind it, he shouldn’t have taken any action at all. This is like begging me to be concerned, not the opposite.

Not knowing the reason, trying to calm down alone is really difficult. It’s like being dragged into an ant hell. Once you sink in, you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb back up. That’s how it was for me. I don’t know about him, though.

“Do you know where he went?”

“Want to go look?”

“Yes. I feel like it’s because of me.”

“It’s not something for you to worry about. He’s just a Joon Jaehyuk fanatic.”

“Still, please let me know if you find out.”

If he doesn’t know, I’ll have to search. But first, let me recover my stamina a bit. I picked up the water bottle and gulped down the remaining water.

“Vocal room 5.”

He’s a liar too. He claimed to not care about his teammates, but he knows everything. If he really didn’t care, why did he teach me dancing when I asked? Why did he reassure me it wasn’t my fault? And now, he’s kindly telling me where Park Yoochan went, since I was curious.

It seems like we could get along well if his fondness level becomes neutral. Even now, it’s not bad. Since there’s a mission involved, please help us become neutral!

“Thanks, bro. I learned a lot thanks to you. If you get a chance, please keep an eye on me!”

“……You want to learn more from me?”

“Oh, if it’s okay with you?”

Baek Kanghyun gave me a strange look. An expression full of questions. Did I say something odd? I thought I spoke quite clearly.

“Hmm. You’re not coming back today?”

“I am, but what if you’re not here, bro? I should at least say hello.”

“I’ll be here.”

Does that mean he’ll watch my dancing again if I come back? Taking it that way, I smiled brightly and said cheerfully:

“Then I’ll be back!”

I think I might have heard a nonchalant “Sure” too. I headed straight for Vocal Room 5. Anyway, since their dislike was a given, I didn’t need to worry about the aftermath. What does having nothing to lose mean? It means I can act however I want. It means we’re the kind of relationship where we can show our worst sides to each other without issue.