Harry Potter: Don't touch

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***

Thursday and Friday flew by. Over the two days Harry had learnt about Defence Against the Dark Arts and History of Magic. To his disappointment, they turned out to be far from interesting subjects.

The History of Magic was a theoretical subject in itself, so Harry hadn't expected much from it, but even despite his lack of expectations, the lesson given by Professor Cuthbert Beans was just awful. The only thing that held any interest for Harry during the class was the fact that Professor Beans turned out to be a ghost. It was said that he himself hadn't noticed he was dead, so he appeared in class as a ghost. With each passing minute of class Potter found this theory more and more likely. It seemed that Bince wasn't interested in anything to do with this reality at all, he was only "living" the events that had happened many years ago.

At first Potter, of course, tried to record the lecture along with everyone else. But Professor Beans was so tedious that Harry caught himself six times thinking that he had stopped writing a long time ago; the last time he just gave up and lay down on his desk, trying not to fall asleep in his first History of Magic class. The other students made much less of an effort, so that by the middle of the lesson more than half the class was dozing peacefully, with Bince's complete acquiescence.

From Defence Against the Dark Arts, on the other hand, Harry had expected a great deal, but the lesson was almost as much of a failure. If Bince's class was like Goodnight Babies, then Professor Quirinus Quirrell's DADA lessons were more like a comedy show. His office reeked of garlic, which everyone said he hoped would scare off a vampire he'd met in Romania. Quirrell wasn't dressed in the usual way, either: his robes were full of pockets, which, the Weasley twins reported, also contained garlic. Quirrell was wearing winter boots with fur peeking out, even though it was hot outside, but the strangest part of his clothes was his turban. The professor said that this turban had been given to him by an African prince, whom he had helped to get rid of a very dangerous zombie.

This very turban made Harry laugh a lot, it seemed abnormal to him to walk around in such extraordinary clothes. He constantly imagined that there was a huge head of garlic inside the turban, and so every time Quirrell turned his back to him during class, Harry laughed quietly at his fantasies. But what was most surprising was that every time Harry laughed at the turban, his scar started to hurt. It was when Quirrell's back was turned and Harry began to giggle quietly that the scar would sting like fire. At the end of the lesson, the pain was so intense that Potter stopped laughing at the turban, hoping that the burning in his scar would stop. But nothing stopped, even on the contrary - the pain intensified, it seemed to Harry that the turban was taking revenge on him in this way. In the end, his forehead hurt so badly that he had to go to the Hospital Wing for the last fifteen minutes of the lesson.Harry also went to Transfiguration, Potions, Astronomy and Spells for the second time. The lessons went without incident, but the impressions were about the same as the first time. Transfiguration was all theory; the students spent the whole lesson just taking notes after Professor McGonagall; Harry tried not to say a word, just writing down endless definitions. Potions was also theoretical, and it differed from transfiguration only in the behaviour of the teachers: while Professor McGonagall dictated terms and paid no attention to Harry, Snape walked around his desk and tried to catch him not writing down the basic terms he was dictating at the same time. Harry wrote everything down, so the horror of the dungeons was left with nothing.

Harry wasn't particularly impressed with the spells either, he was expecting something similar to the previous lesson, but Professor Flitwick had said at the beginning of the lesson that practice wouldn't be until near the end of October, the rest of the time he was talking about the proper use of spells. But while in Transfiguration and Potions Harry wrote down the terms, not understanding them at all, just because they "had" to be written down, in Spellcasting he tried to get into the essence of every insignificant term and think about where such knowledge could be useful.

Sadly enough, the only lesson Harry had enjoyed during those two days was astronomy. And it wasn't because of the fascinating theoretical basis related to physics, and specifically the topic of Optics that Professor Sinistra had started talking about. It was because this class was about another battle between the warring flotillas. It was worth noting that Potter was very ashamed of the last astronomy lesson; he even promised himself that he would definitely work on Professor Sinistra's next lessons. But all of Harry's resolve was swept away like a hand by the first five minutes of double astronomy, and he suggested to Ron that the battles be resumed.

Harry's tactics from the last battle were working one hundred per cent. It had been five quick battles, and all of them had ended in Potter's victory. Harry had no idea what to call his flotilla, and had no idea what to call it but Snape's Idiot; to his surprise, Ron liked the name, so he decided to follow Harry's idea and called his flotilla Malfoy's Halfwit. In the battle between 'Snape the Idiot' and 'Malfoy the Halfwit', Ron tried to copy Harry's strategy completely, but was still defeated.

Afterwards he said that it was getting uninteresting to play because Harry was too strong, so they would play a different game in the next lesson. They spent the remaining fifteen minutes of the double lesson talking about how much Malfoy and Snape were pissing them off. As it turned out, Draco had insulted Ron's family in Potions, and Snape had taken twenty points off of him for answering incorrectly. The lesson ended with Ron inviting Harry into the Gryffindor sitting room to play chess.

They both left the lesson satisfied, Ron having talked about the injustice of the Slytherins, and Harry euphoric from the sea of victories and the realisation that he wasn't the only one being bullied by Snape and Malfoy. He also, in good conscience, put one more person in his mental 'friends' column.

* * *

The first day off, Saturday, had finally arrived. It was a good time to take a break from difficult lessons, have some fun, and read some interesting books. But Harry wasn't too happy about the week of school ending so quickly; it was because he had two work dates scheduled for this Saturday. Justin, noticing his friend's mood, started to cheer him up; he said that just a couple of hours of unpleasant work and he would be free. But Harry sadly reminded him that he had a month's worth of detention with McGonagall, so unpleasant work would await him every week.

So on Saturday morning the only person who woke up in a bad mood was Harry Potter, well, also Severus Snape, but he always had a nasty disposition. As if sensing this, time started running like crazy as if out of spite.

Is it one o'clock already? How could it be? I thought he'd just got up. Three hours? How could it be, five minutes ago it was only one o'clock? Five thirty? What?

At five minutes to six, Harry left his wand in his locker and staggered off to the Transfiguration room.

As he approached the office, Harry knocked gently on the door, and after a loud "come in!" hesitantly walked in.

McGonagall was in a foul mood. She was sitting at her desk, signing some papers.

- 'Greetings, Mr Potter, we are expecting someone else now. I'll let you know your assignment shortly.

The wait wasn't long; not a couple of minutes later, a panting senior girl came running into the room. The only thing that made her significantly different from the average student was her hair. It was bright yellow, the colour of the sun, the kind that immediately stood out from the crowd. Judging by the robe, she was a Hufflepuff, but Harry didn't see how he could have overlooked such a distinctive appearance all this time. It was easily explained, however, by the fact that he was in his bedroom most of the time and didn't visit the faculty lounge for fear of accidental touching.

- I'm sorry, Professor McGonagall, I'm a little late," the senior student said in a strained voice.

- That's okay, you're almost there," McGonagall stood up from her desk. - So, your assignment is to separate the transfiguration-affected beetles from the normal ones. The buttons that will be lying with the insects are considered transfigured beetles. In an hour, your workout time will be over and I'll come check on you to see how you did.

She walked towards the door, but immediately stopped, as if she had forgotten something important.

- I hope no one took your wand? - Professor McGonagall asked.

- 'No,' Harry and the older girl replied in unison.

- Very plausible. Nymphadora Tonks' accio wand.

A wand flew out of the senior's pocket and landed right in the transfiguration professor's hand.

- Same as usual, right? Minus five points to Hufflepuff," the professor said.

The senior frowned, but Harry could see that the offence was faked, she had taken on a sad look too quickly. Potter wasn't the only one to notice.

- Your acting is seriously lame. Accio the spare wand of Nymphadora Tonks!

Another wand flew out of the inside pocket of her robes and was quickly next to the first.

- Another minus five points to Hufflepuff; wands, Miss, you'll get them after practice.

With those words, McGonagall turned and walked out the door, leaving them alone.

Harry approached the two glass jars full of unusual beetles with fear. Each of these jars contained a decent amount of both buttons and insects.

- Did you bring your wand with you?

Harry looked round, Tonks was looking at him with a questioning look.

- 'No, Justin told me that wands aren't allowed for practice.

- Oh, that's a shame," she stared doomfully at the bugs. - Next time you can take them, no one will think twice about a first year.

She walked over to the teacher's desk.

- 'Let's split the labour in half, I suggest this: my jar left, your right, agreed?

Harry nodded briefly.

The next hour passed in silence. Potter silently separated the common bugs from the not-so-common ones. It was not only unpleasant, but also rather boring. Despite this, he decided not to impose himself on Nymphadora Tonks with conversation, as she seemed rather upset.

McGonagall returned a little before the end of the term for the time off, inspected the work and dismissed them.

- How's it going? - Without taking his eyes off his book reading, Justin asked when Harry returned to the bedroom.

- Nasty, unpleasant, boring, all in all, a classic Potions class," Harry sat down on Justin's bed. - Well, to elaborate, they made me go through beetles.

- It's only McGonagall, but Snape's practising now, and logically he's going to be ten times worse at it.

- Thanks for cheering me up, I was in a great mood, and now I'm in a great mood. I know what Snape is without you. But I still don't see what he can think of that's worse than beetles. I'll rest for an hour, then I'm off to the dungeons.

The hour passed quickly. Even by Harry's standards, for whom time was running like an eagle today, six tens of minutes passed like six tens of seconds.

At ten minutes to eight, Harry got out of bed and slowly made his way to the Potions room. Halfway there, he remembered that he could try to take his wand with him; even if he got caught, Snape wouldn't treat him any worse. He quickly followed her back to the sitting room and jogged to the dungeons afterwards.

- Well, Potter, the fact that you manage to be late even for your homework no doubt shows your level of mediocrity," Snape was the same as the last time they'd met.

- The assignment is to immerse a rat's brain in saline solution, I wish you a pleasant time," he said and, adjusting his robes, walked out the door.

- Oh, hi, long time no see," came a familiar voice from Harry's side.

Standing behind him was Tonks, a senior student he already knew.

- Uh, hi, did you get Snape's detention too?

- Yeah, I was going to ask you the same question," she smiled. - I've never seen a fresher get detention before, but I've never seen two. I'm Tonks, I know you, you don't have to introduce yourself, the great Harry Potter who escaped from the Great Hall. You're the one who lost eighty-five Hufflepuff points on your first day of school, aren't you?

- Yes, I did. Only actually eighty-four, not eighty-five," Harry blushed. - And by the way, I wasn't the only one losing them, Hufflepuff was down by over a hundred points.- That's right, I did my best, except I don't count the points I lost, unlike you, and yet everyone still loves me... Well, at least I think they do. All right, let's go dip the rats' brains in saline. What could be more fun? I take it you didn't bring your wand?

- Actually, I did, you told me to.

- Wow, good for you, I thought you'd never have the guts. Can you do a levitation spell? Oh yeah, you're only a first year, you've only got one theory so far... Okay, give me your wand, it won't do much for me, but I still think I can do it.

Harry pulled his wand out of his robes pocket and held it out to her. Tonks took it and began groping it thoroughly; finally getting somewhere, she pointed it at the table of ingredients.

- Great, the wand doesn't seem to mind if I use it for a while, I'll get all of our assignments done quickly now, and the rest of the time we can, like, just talk.

Harry sat down on a chair against the wall and began to watch the rat brains one by one take off and sink into the brine. Five minutes later, the task that had taken an hour to complete was done.

- 'I'm all done,' Tonks said, looking around. - 'Give the lady a chair.

Harry stood up hastily, stepped back to the wall and leaned against it. He was comfortable as it was.

- Oh Merlin, you're such a simpleton, it was very easy to take your chair away from you, how inexperienced you are," she said, swinging one leg over the other.

Harry ignored her words, he couldn't wait to get an answer to his question.

- This is the first time I've seen people with yellow hair, is it your natural hair colour?

- Of course not, why? I'm a metamorph, in case you didn't know.

- Metamorph? - Harry didn't understand. - What does that mean?

Tonks turned away. She began to shrink, and there were some strange noises. Harry was worried.

After performing some sort of manipulation, she turned around. Potter stared at himself. It was as if he was looking at a reflection in a mirror, only this reflection was somehow without his usual glasses. Harry's copy looked strange, since Potter had been wearing his glasses since time immemorial.

- Metaphor? What's that? I don't understand," the fake Harry repeated, the hair on his head changing from black to yellow, and his voice sounding like the real Potter. - Wow, yellow hair, is that my natural hair colour?

- Wow, how do you do that? I mean, that's impossible! - Harry was delighted to the core.

The possibilities that come with such an ability!

- Do you like it? A metamorph is someone who can change their appearance completely," Tonks said, becoming herself. - I can turn into anyone I want, anytime I want. In fact, that's how I got my workout.

- That's really cool! It's amazing! Fantastic! - Harry had seen a real miracle that just couldn't exist scientifically. - How do you get time off for that?

- Oh, that's a cool story. Anyway, listen. There was this girl who really pissed me off once, her name is Bertha, but it doesn't matter; well, anyway, I did something to her, that doesn't matter either; okay, just to get to the point: in transfiguration, I turned into Professor McGonagall and gave Bertha two Trolls. But while I was telling her off, the real McGonagall walked into the classroom. There. Now I have two months of detention, and they took off like sixty points, or, no, fifty.

- Cool! - Harry had taken to Nymphadora's rebellious behaviour and was already looking at his misdemeanours differently. - What about Snape?

- Oh, Snape... It's still from last year, when I dyed his robes yellow with one spell - he gave me a lot of detention, and I skipped a couple of them. By the way, I always dye my hair yellow on the days I have detention with Snape, so that he doesn't forget that day.

- Why did you decide to make his robe yellow? There's lots of other cool colours.

- Yeah? What colours would Snape's robe look better in?

- Well, pink, for example. What do you think?

- Genius, Harry," Tonks rounded her eyes. - 'So you have a talent for all this. A pink robe on Snape. You could also do a heart pattern. That's a marvellous idea. Only I should do it at the end of the year, after the exams are over, or I might even get kicked out for it, and then it's over, and Snape won't be able to do much about it.

And so the hour flew by. At exactly nine o'clock in the evening Snape came into the office, he looked suspiciously at the overly happy Harry and Tonks and pointed to the door. There was no need for a double hint.

They left the office and headed for the faculty lounge. Tonks on the way told Harry what he should expect from his first flying lesson, which was already due the following Monday. Harry, on the other hand, told her how his astronomy lessons were going. This news brought a resounding laugh from Tonks. She laughed and told him that she had taken astronomy the same way in her third year, but then she had received an "Abominable" on her transitional exam and had stopped messing around in class for at least a couple of months.

As they approached the set of barrels that symbolised the entrance to the faculty lounge, Harry realised it was time to say goodbye.

- Goodbye, Nymphadora.

Tonks jerked as if from a blow, her hair changing colour from yellow to red.

- Don't call me that! I'm Tonks, just Tonks.

- Fine, just Tonks," Harry wasn't the least bit embarrassed by the reaction. Everyone has their own issues, and he's not infallible either, if only for his strange intolerance to touch.

Tonks nodded, and they walked quietly down the aisle to the faculty lounge, where they separated, each to their own dormitory.