Her True Form

“Errr, so, who are you?” Gytha asked while Perin helped her to her feet. “I don’t think I’ve seen a fae like you before?”

“I’m…” Yvette started before glancing back to Ermina. The mage didn’t show any signs of recognition. In fact, she looked even more confused than the others. Should she lie again? She then glanced down at the phoenix and the two silently communicated for a moment. It only took a moment, but they quickly came up with a solution. “I am Petra. This is my familiar, Unceasing Storm.”

“Unceasing storm?” Gytha asked, staring at the bird. She slowly took a step back. “That… that’s not actually a phoenix, is it? That’s just… a normal bird, right? Fancy magic to make it shinier?”

Lightning crackled off the phoenix, arcing past the woman’s ear.

“No,” Yvette said. “She is a phoenix. In many ways, the other half of my soul. And you are?”

“Gytha,” Gytha said before reaching out and taking Perin’s hand. “This is Perin, don’t mind him. He’s shy. And this--”

“I’m Ermina,” Ermina said. “That… that can’t really be a phoenix, can it? They’re not… supposed to be...”

“A living storm,” Yvette said. “Yes. Would you like to touch her?”

“Can I?” Ermina asked, her eyes lighting up. Slowly, she reached a hand out and gently stroked a wing. Normally she might not have been okay with it, but this girl was a fellow student. They’d known each other for years, kind of. Even the phoenix side of her could recognize that. Even if Ermina couldn’t.

“So, not to be rude,” Gytha said. “But you did kind of interrupt our celebration. One I was hoping to get quite the story out of. It’s not every day one manages to aid the fae and get a celebration in their honor. I was hoping I’d get a second tale from that. Though, perhaps you’ll give me one, hm? Just what is a mage and her phoenix doing here?”

For a moment Yvette felt her cheeks going a little red. On the one hand, she had kind of intruded on their celebration and drawn all the attention to herself. On the other hand, she wanted out of this realm and to return to the real world. “My apologies,” Yvette said. “I’ve been trying to escape this realm for… I don’t know how long. Usually the fae flee from me when they see me, but when I heard the celebration I had to investigate. I was hoping it would show me a way out.”

“Well, we do know a way out,” Gytha said. “We’ll even show you where it is… if you tell us your story?”

Yvette gulped and found her eyes glancing to Ermina. Her fellow student was mesmerized by the phoenix and, grudgingly, she let her go. Unceasing Storm flew up and then let Ermina hold her for the moment, the fellow student gently stroking and petting her feathers. “How is it so soft?”

“She,” Yvette said quickly. “She’s a living creature, even if she is made of the elements. But she also likes you, so she’s letting you touch her without being hurt. That’s why she’s so soft.”

“Well, I guess I’m the lucky one, huh?” Ermina said.

Yvette turned her gaze back to Gytha. “It’s not nearly as interesting a tale as you might hope. I was… in an accident. I died. Became a phoenix… kind of? It’s… strange. But then a fae found me and re-split me. I guess? But the phoenix is still a part of me. Just now we’re kind of like two bodies, one soul? Since then I managed to escape his realm, but I’ve been traveling ever since. It has been… not easy. Not. Uneventful. I think.”

Gytha stared at her, her mouth falling open. “Well… I… okay. I’m guessing you’re not a bard, since that’s a hell of a story. I can’t even imagine what pieces you brushed over. Hold on…” She pulled out her bag and started rummaging through it, pulling out a quill, ink and parchment. “I’m going to need to know everything.”

“Gytha…” Perin said softly.

“Even if she’s crazy, she’s got a phoenix following her around,” Gytha said. “Our resident mage seems to think it’s real and it matches what I’ve heard, so I can’t really argue. A story like this is going to be worth countless drinks and quite a few meals, trust me.”

“Why are you here?” Yvette asked.

“Job,” Gytha said. “Long story, but my patron asked, well, ordered me to come here. Perin is in looooooove with me. And Ember here is just nice to have around. You know what’s really good at starting and stopping forest fires? Pyromancers!”

“Stopping, yes,” Ermina said. “YOU started that. I warned you NOT to throw that torch, but you did it anyway.”

“It worked, didn’t it?” Gytha asked.

“Who knows what those mushrooms could have been used for? We could have suppressed the spores if you’d just given me a bit more time, I’m sure,” Ermina said, rolling her eyes. “Now they’re gone forever. All that’s left is a black, charred clearing in these beautiful woods thanks to you.”

“Compared to what they had, that’s an improvement,” Gytha said. “Why is it whenever you get a mage with some weird, dangerous plant life their first instinct is ‘quick, lets harvest it!’”

“The same reason whenever you get a bard with someone yelling ‘We’re all going to die!’ they run towards it?” Ermina asked, glaring at the bard.

Yvette couldn’t help but notice that Perrin was keeping his mouth shut during this encounter, though he was smiling.

“But no, I’m not just ‘nice to have around’,” Ermina said before letting Unceasing Storm go, who flew back into Yvette’s arms. “I’m looking for someone. A friend. Like… you, I guess. Have you run into other humans while you were… wandering these woods?” she asked.

“Other humans?” Yvette asked before shaking her head. “No. We’ve barely even seen anything since coming here. Other than our captor.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Gytha said. “You’re… hard to keep track of. Fae tend to not like being snuck up on and if you’re wandering along and they don’t know until they physically see you? Well, they likely think you’re hunting them. You’re lucky you didn’t run into anything that sees you as a meal. Then again…” Her eyes wandered to the phoenix. “Maybe that list is fairly small.”

“Who are you looking for?” Yvette asked.

“A journeyman mage,” Ermina said. “Tebaud.”

Yvette squeezed her phoenix a little tighter. “I… see. A friend of yours?”

“Kind of,” Ermina said. “Last I heard, he was traveling through these woods. His guardian appeared in them a… time ago, with these weird girls. He came to my master, Betan, for help. Next thing I know my training is being put on hold and they’re both gone. Didn’t even tell me where they’re going. Haven’t seen them since.”

“Really?” Yvette asked. “So you think Tebaud is still here? In the Realm of the Fae?”

“Probably,” Ermina said. “He’s only a journeyman. Good at shapeshifting magic, so I guess the fae would be interested in him for that, maybe? I’ve been doing odd jobs in these woods where I can, trying to find some news ever since. But it’s weird. Time isn’t… right here. Nothing is.”

Yvette’s grip only tightened. She could feel a storm raging within herself, one she struggled to contain. Tebaud. Tebaud. She WASN’T Tebaud. If anybody understood that, why couldn’t Ermina? She’d known her for ages. So why couldn’t she, just this once, accept what she was? She felt the winds inside growing fiercer and fiercer the harder she tried to contain them. She couldn’t. Not again. Not this time.

“This is how it’s always going to be with you, isn’t it Ermina?” Yvette asked softly.

“I’m… sorry?” Ermina asked gently.

“… You’re never going to actually see me. Is Master Betan the same? Even if I find him… he’ll never acknowledge me for me, will he?” Yvette asked, the winds in the clearing beginning to slowly swirl around her.

“Uhhhh…” Gytha slowly got to her feet and looked between the two of them. “I… I think there might be a misunderstanding. She’s not--”

“My name is Yvette,” Yvette said. “Not Petra. And it should never have been Tebaud.” The winds in the clearing began to get faster, causing her robes to whip around wildly.

“Tebaud?” Ermina asked, staring at her. “You can’t be… you don’t have a--”

“I DIED!” Yvette yelled. “I died. I was reborn. I had my soul split in half.” The storm in her arms raged, but so did she. They took a step forward and Ermina backed away. “I have fought a turtle the size of a castle. I have been to the bottom of the sea and spoken with leviathans. I have fought trolls and aided dryads. I have faced would-be kings and left them in my wake. I have become the storm itself. I have changed, I have grown, I have adapted. I have rewritten my ENTIRE LIFE! All so I could be one thing. ONE! TINY! THING! I have thrown away EVERYTHING! Just so I could be ME!” She saw Gytha’s hand move to the crystal-like sword at her hip and she shook her head. “Gytha. You don’t want to do that.”

“Just… just calm down,” Gytha said. “I’m sure Ermina here didn’t mean anything by it. She just--”

“My name is Yvette,” Yvette said. “Why? Why can’t you see that? Ermina, why can’t you see me? You’re like… a little sister to me. You were like…” Despite herself, her arms began to shake. A light rain began to drip around them, gently spreading droplets of water on the grass. “Do you really think, even now, this is just a phase? What do I need to do? Do you think this is… fun? Can you still not see me? Not see who I am? Not see what I am?”

“You… you can’t be T-Tebaud,” Ermina said softly. “He… he’s not… you’re…”

“I’m a woman,” Yvette said gently. “I’m a journeyman mage. My specialization is transformation magics. I have stolen from the Vault. I have become a fallen mage because the very notion of allowing me to BE WHO I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN is so terrible to them that they would rather banish me and kill me than allow me to become myself. And now? Now I am me. I’m the woman I’ve always wanted to be. And I will not stop until--”

Gytha charged her. The sword was drawn from its scabbard a moment later. Annoyingly, she moved a lot like Gervas. But Yvette had fought Gervas often. Her right hand moved to her side and she gathered the rain around it, forming a blade of ice. It would only last a moment, but that was more than she needed it for.

Yvette swung at the approaching bard and Gytha swung as well. The blades connected and the ice shattered. A moment later it reformed, around the sword this time. Then the blade was entirely coated in ice, as was Gytha’s hand, the ice traveling down her arm. The bard tried to pull her hand free, but the ice was quickly snaking down her body.

“Gytha!” Perrin yelled, taking a step towards them.

“Stop,” Yvette snapped. “I don’t--”

Ermina thrust out her right hand and fire erupted from it. The flames washed over her and, for half a second, she almost burned. Almost.

But she and Unceasing Storm were together now. The fires swirled around her and she tore them from her, swirling them up into the air and tearing them from Ermina. In the end, her hair wasn’t even singed.

Ermina stared at her, a look of horror on her face. “H-how? You… you couldn’t…”

“You’d rather kill me than see me, too?” Yvette asked. “Does me being a girl scare you that much?”

“You’re not… you…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Yvette said before she glanced to Gytha. She was trying, desperately, to get the ice to break. Perin was at her side, striking the ice with the pommel of a dagger. But it didn’t crack in the slightest. It was quickly snaking down her body as well.

Yvette sighed and looked down at Unceasing Storm. “… Why is it only Gervas could see us?”

“Listen… Yvette,” Ermina said softly. “I-I know you’re mad, but… but vengeance isn’t going to--”

“Vengeance?! What vengeance?” Yvette asked. “All I want is to BE ME! And I have to keep FIGHTING everyone FOR IT! WHY CAN’T ANY OF YOU JUST ACCEPT THAT?!”

“Then why are you threatening the Mage’s Association?” Ermina asked. “I-if you’re a woman now, if this is what you want, why can’t you just stop?”

“I’m not threatening anybody!” Yvette yelled before slamming her hand down. The ice around Gytha shattered, though the sword remained encased in it.

“But… but you said you wouldn’t stop until… you...” Ermina said gently, taking a step back. “Ummm…”

Yvette sighed and shook her head. “I won’t stop until I have all the pieces I need for this spell. Because there are others like me. I have what I need now. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to just… let others suffer what I had to. You have any idea how hard all of this has been? How much I have had to fight? No. Of course you don’t. Because you never CARED! Because none of you did. All you ever saw was Tebaud. Someone who didn’t even exist.” Despite herself, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. “You and Betan were the closest thing I ever actually had to a family, but even you two could never see me. Could you? Just… I’m done. Tebaud is dead. He died long before you ever met me. So just… enjoy focusing on that corpse. I’d rather live as Yvette than die as Tebaud, but… I see you’d have rather I did the opposite. But you know what? I don’t need you. I never needed either of you. I’ll find Gervas and Betan and I’ll find everything else I need and I’ll… I’ll just… I don’t know. But I won’t make anyone else have to go through this. I’ll do this spell on everyone in the world who needs it if I have to but I won’t make ANYBODY ever have to feel the way all of YOU made me feel every moment of every day!”

Ermina just stared at her, her mouth hanging open. “I… I never… I didn’t… why didn’t you… tell me you…”

“I told you all the time,” Yvette said softly. “I told you every day, in every way. You just never listened. You never cared enough to listen. Now? I’m just… I’m done. Where did Gervas and Betan go?”

“I don’t know,” Ermina said softly. “They… they left on the same road you did.”

“Alone?” Yvette asked.

“J-just their horses,” Ermina said softly.

“Fine,” Yvette said before she just walked past her. She’d face this alone if she had to. She’d…

…

Yvette had to stop after a few moments and glance back at the three. “Damn it… I don’t actually know the way out of here.”

“… What?” Ermina asked.

“You know the way out, I don’t,” Yvette said bitterly. “I wanted to just storm off and leave you behind me forever. But no, you know the way out and so I need you to show me the way out and then I can storm off and leave you behind forever. So just… ugh. I… need your help.”

“… You’re a fallen mage, though,” Ermina said softly.

“Right,” Yvette said before looking to Gytha. “You’re a bard, right? What do you want for guidance out of these woods?”

“Ummmm…” Gytha said softly. “… I don’t… know… if…”

“Never mind,” Yvette said before she shook her head. “I’ll find my own way.” She’d gotten this far on her own, she’d find the rest of the way. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to doing everything on her own.

“Yvette, wait!” Ermina called after her.

Yvette sighed and, slowly, glanced back at her. “What?”

“I’ll show you the way out,” Ermina said. “Just…”

“Just what?” Yvette asked.

“I just… want to talk with you. A little bit more,” Ermina said. “Please?”

“Fine,” Yvette said. “But you can’t touch us anymore.”

“You?” Ermina asked.

“Unceasing Storm,” Yvette said.

“Fine,” Ermina said before glancing back to Gytha and Perin. “I just… I need to talk with him. With her. Them? I’ll… I’ll meet you at the portal.”

“Of… of course,” Gytha said, her focus on the frozen sword. “We’ll come as soon as we manage to free… this.”

Ermina nodded before running after her. Yvette didn’t want to let her catch up, but unfortunately she did need the mage to show her the way out.

“Did you mean that before?” Ermina asked.

“Probably,” Yvette said. “Which thing?”

“You saw me as family?” Ermina asked.

“Closest thing I had to family,” Yvette said. “An obnoxious little sister who was too focused on herself. But yes.”

“Sorry,” Ermina said gently.

“Trust me. That’s the least you owe me an apology for. Come on, let’s get this over with,” Yvette said, not even sparing the other girl a look. Hopefully… she’d be out of here soon. And never have to speak to her again. Never have to speak to any of them again. She hoped.