Her True Form

Yvette could feel her heart pounding with every step she took deeper into the building. Occasionally she passed people in mage’s robes, usually of apprentice rank but a handful with journeyman rank.

She occasionally got an annoyed look from them, but none said a word to her. Not that she was surprised. As far as any of them knew she was just another fallen mage.

Eventually, however, she was led to a small stone room, the only thing inside it being an old bench. She was pushed inside before the door was slammed shut behind her.

“What happens now?” Yvette asked, calling out through the door.

She could hear them walking away, but didn’t receive a response. She sat on the bench and sighed, pulling herself back against the wall.

She wondered how long she’d need to wait. Hours? Days? Weeks? Was anyone even going to talk to her?

Yvette closed her eyes and tried to reach out to her phoenix half. She could still see through her eyes, at least. So the bond remained. Unfortunately, it gave her almost no information. The domed building wasn’t that large on the outside, but she’d seen stairs going down under the ground. There was no telling how deep it went. Possibly miles.

For all she knew there was an entire city beneath her feet. If there was a geomancer master here, it would be difficult but more than possible.

Now she just had to hurry up… and wait.

------

The door opened and Yvette was startled awake. “H-huh?” she asked, blinking blearily.

“I’m so sorry for the delay,” a young man in brown apprentice robes said. “The council will see you now.”

“O-oh, right, ummm…” Yvette wiped her face, trying to make sure she didn’t have drool all over herself. She couldn’t believe she’d fallen asleep. Now her back and neck hurt from laying at such an awkward angle. “Can you…?”

“Oh, right,” he said before reaching out to take her hand and help her to her feet. “Now then, could you…?”

“Could I what?” Yvette asked.

“Weren’t you told?” he asked.

“I’ve been told nothing,” Yvette said. “I’ve been hauled around and tossed from box to newer box. I haven’t seen people in… I don’t know how long. I haven’t eaten anything, had a chance to clean up, or stretch, or ANYTHING in… I don’t know. Days? Weeks?”

He, at least, managed to look ashamed. “A-ah. I see. Some of the hunters can be a bit… excessive… but you see, when they deal with such dangerous, ahhh…”

“Fallen mages?” Yvette asked, her voice filled with bitterness.

“Exactly,” he said. “But please understand, you’ll be treated to the same trial as any other mage. I just need to apply the truth enchantment.”

Yvette gave a sigh before holding up her hands. “Fine. Just… do it…”

He nodded, but when he reached out he stopped. “You… don’t have a mark of the fallen?”

“I do,” Yvette said.

“Uhhhh… where… is it?” he asked.

“My phoenix half,” Yvette said.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s on my phoenix half,” Yvette said.

“Is that… does that… I’m sorry, I’ve never heard that particular term before,” he said sheepishly. “Is it from further south?”

“It means the half of my soul that is in the form of a phoenix has the mark on it,” Yvette said. “No, I don’t expect it to mean anything to you. It’s a long story in and of itself that… I really don’t even know how to explain. But yes, I have a mark.”

“I… I see,” he said before reaching out and taking her hands. A moment later she could feel it. Her tongue tingled and made her want to click it a few times. “Sorry, I’m not as good at it as some.”

“It’s fine,” Yvette said.

“Now, please follow me,” he said before motioning for her to follow him.

Once again Yvette walked. She stretched out as best she could while she walked, occasionally looking over at the mages as she passed. While she’d only seen apprentice and journeymen, she hadn’t seen any masters. She wondered if there even were any here aside from the council. Perhaps they had their own special place in the building.

Or maybe they just rarely traveled in the halls that the criminals like herself were made to travel. It would be pretty easy to identify the members of the council if there were only a few masters here.

She was led into a large, empty chamber. A beam of light came down from the center, aimed at a black circular platform. A single circle of glass in the ceiling the source. She suspected it was enchanted, though, the light didn’t seem to travel beyond that circle. “Please step onto the platform and, once the council is available, they will hear your case.”

Yvette gave a small nod before walking towards it. Stepping onto the platform, she felt a small tingle rushing through her. Magic swirling around her. What was--

Then she realized that, while she thought the platform was black, it wasn’t. It was crystal. It was just covered in ash and charred so much that it appeared black. There was magic beneath her… enough to likely execute her, should the order be given. She nervously rocked back and forth in place, waiting for something to happen.

And waiting.

Aaaaaand waiting.

Yvette sighed and found her mind drifting to all the times she’d been told by Betan to go somewhere to meet him, just for him to be late. Here she just thought he was bad with time. Maybe it was a master thing. She fidgeted with her hands, tugging on the bindings a little. Did they really have to leave her like this?

“Identify yourself for the council,” a woman’s voice called, making her jump.

Yvette shrieked, jumping a little. She squinted into the darkness, trying to see anything there, but the most she could make out were shadowy forms.

“My name is Yvette,” Yvette said. “I--”

“Yvette?” the voice asked again. “Is your name not Tebaud?”

Yvette shook her head. “NO! My name is NOT Tebaud! I am NOT Tebaud! I am YVETTE!”

Silence reigned in the room for a while before, finally, there was the sound of a throat clearing. “I see. You may call me Green. Your trial will be overseen by myself, Red and Orange. Our actual names are not to be known, or documented. We do not represent the entirety of the council, only the facet overseeing you. Were you, at any point, known as Tebaud?”

“Yes,” Yvette said bitterly.

“Are you a fallen mage?” Green asked.

“Yes,” Yvette said.

“What crime did you commit to earn your status of fallen mage?” Green asked.

“Trying to become a woman,” Yvette said.

There was silence after that.

A new voice, male this time, spoke up. “Ahem, this is Orange. Could you clarify?”

“My crime is trying to become a woman,” Yvette said. “And now, I suppose, trying to ensure nobody else has to be stuck in the same terrible situation I was.”

“Is that what you believe your crimes to be?” Orange asked. “In their entirety?”

“Everything I’ve done is for that goal,” Yvette said. “I’ve not killed or hurt anyone in my quest. I’ve come into conflict with many mages and creatures far, far beyond my own capabilities. But I’ve never given up on what I know I have to do.

“Of course,” Orange said. “Admittedly, our records show that you disappeared nearly… half a year ago? You were believed to be dead.”

“Well, I did die,” Yvette said. “But I got better. Kind of.”

“Is the truth enchantment active? Are you sure?” Orange asked, but she suspected it wasn’t to her.

“You are here due to your theft of a forbidden spell from the Vault,” Green’s voice said this time. “Do you admit to this theft?”

“I do,” Yvette said, unable to say she didn’t. She flicked her tongue a few times in her mouth, wishing the tingling would stop.

“And it was there you were branded a fallen mage, by Grandmaster Cecily, Keeper of the Vaults? Please display your mark,” Green said.

“I can’t,” Yvette said.

“Did you manage to remove it?” Green asked.

“Not… exactly,” Yvette said. “It’s more… well… it’s on me. But not on this body. It’s on my phoenix body.”

Once again there was silence.

Yvette sighed and rocked back and forth, wondering if they were discussing it amongst themselves now. If they didn’t want the confusing truth, maybe they shouldn’t have enchanted her with a truth spell.

“As it seems you have lost your mind,” Green said. “We can only ascertain that the majority of our questions would be meaningless.”

“I haven’t lost my mind,” Yvette said.

“Your theft from the Vault,” Green said, seemingly ignoring her. “If given the opportunity, would you perform it again?”

“Yes,” Yvette said.

“Do you have any regrets for the damage you have caused?” Green asked.

“What damage?” Yvette asked.

“Excuse me?” Green asked.

“What damage have I caused?” Yvette asked. “What has my quest to attain my true form done to hurt anyone else aside from myself? While I’ve certainly been hurt plenty, it’s usually while doing other things and not because of my goal.”

“You have stolen a forbidden spell and put yourself and other mages you have encountered in danger,” Green said, her voice rising.

“How?” Yvette asked. “I don’t deny that I stole the spell. But I have never attempted to put anyone else in danger on my journey. I’ve tried to help and protect people. I’ve tried to save people. I’ve tried to make sure nobody else has to suffer like I did. So I wish to know exactly what damage I have done?”

“You put all mages at risk when you perform such reckless acts,” Green said. “Forbidden magic is forbidden for a reason.”

“And maybe that reason is WRONG!” Yvette yelled. “I didn’t want this! I NEVER wanted this! I’m a mage, I’ve trained my whole life to be a mage! But this was the only way! If there had been any help, any guidance, ANYTHING, I would have ran towards it! But I was offered NOTHING! So my choices were a lifetime of suffering or being a criminal? So I took the only path anyone would let me!”

“The reason this spell is forbidden is…” Green started, then stopped. “Red? I believe this is actually your expertise.”

“Roule the Butcher,” a new voice said. An older, female one. Red. “A monstrous mage. After his tyranny, the spell was permanently banned by the council of that time.”

“I’m not familiar with that tale,” Green said.

“He was a monster,” Red said. “Many people were shattered by him, physically, mentally. A few I knew personally. Most humans don’t remember him, however.”

“Well, then,” Green said. “Do you have any regrets for the crimes you have committed?”

“I do not regret stealing the spell from the Vault,” Yvette said. “My only regret is that I was left no choice.”

“Did you perform this crime at the behest of any others?” Green asked.

“No,” Yvette said. “At the time it was just for myself.”

“And now?” Green asked.

“I now know I am not the only one suffering from this,” Yvette said. “I’ve been fortunate enough to be fixed. They deserve no less.”

“If given the opportunity, you would perform this crime again?” Green asked.

“Unless another option was presented? In a heartbeat,” Yvette said.

There was a sigh then. “I see,” Green said. “A shame, that. A mage who cannot be taught right from wrong has no role in the association.”

“How is this right or wrong?” Yvette asked. “What is wrong with me being a girl?”

“That isn’t the issue here,” Green said. “Your methods, however, are.”

“What other methods were there?” Yvette asked. “What methods are there NOW? For mages like me, those who are trapped in the wrong body? Who can’t be themselves? What methods are any of us allowed?”

Silence once again.

“Well? I’ve committed a crime, haven’t I? So what could I have done differently? What can any mage like me do differently?” Yvette asked. “Tell me! Give me another way! Some way I can be fixed and I will gladly follow that path!”

“It is not our duty to give you guidance in such matters,” Green said. “That is for your master. We are here to judge your acts.”

“She does have a point, however,” Orange said. “Red, you are the most familiar with this type of magic. Is there another method?”

“No,” Red said. “While it is true the magic has been used for such things in the past, in the wake of the Butcher it has been forbidden. Few would tamper with such magics.”

“There was no guidance,” Yvette said. “You tell me to accept being wrong, then punish me when I try to fix it? No, I’m not sorry I did it! I would do it again! Because nobody should have to be like that! If there was another way, I’d have taken it! I--”

“ENOUGH!” Green’s voice boomed through the chamber, cutting her off. “As you have shown absolutely no desire to work within the confines of the Mage’s Association, your punishment is simple.”

Yvette glared, her fists clenching. “Imprison me if you want, I will never stop trying. I--”

“Execution,” Green’s voice called.

“Wait, what?” Yvette asked.

“A mage who refuses to be re-rehabilitated has no place in the association,” Green said. “You are nothing but a threat to all of our kind. Are there any objections?”

“Yes,” both Orange and Red said in unison.

Yvette gulped, nervously standing there in the light. She really wished she could see through the darkness to see the council now.

“Is judgment not clear in this case?” Green asked.

“It is,” Red said. “However, such matters are not without precedent. On top of that, there is another thing I wish to question her over. Tebaud--”

“Yvette,” Yvette said firmly.

“Very well,” Red said. “Yvette. You said you… died?”

“I did,” Yvette said.

“Yet you’re here now? Necromancy?”

“Well… uhhhh… not quite,” Yvette said sheepishly. “I became a phoenix. Kind of.”

“An insane criminal, then,” Green said. “That or the truth magic over her is ineffective.”

“Or perhaps there’s more to her story,” Orange said. “Green, calm yourself. Justice will be dealt, there’s no need to rush things.”

“You say you became a phoenix,” Red said. “Would you clarify?”

“Uhhhhh,” Yvette said softly, trying to imagine how to say this. “The Reborn Empire—” There were some derisive snorts from the council, but she tried to ignore them. “– managed to trap a phoenix in this weird magic trap. I ended up breaking the circle and, in the process, it kind of made me… one of them. I think? I died in the process, so I think it was more of a rebirth?”

“So if you were to die now, you’d be reborn?” Red asked, her voice filled with amusement.

“I have no idea, but I doubt it,” Yvette said. “I was a phoenix, for a while. Almost entirely. My uhhhh… mind was kind of… broken. My true form was destroyed and it took… I don’t even know how long to recollect myself. Then it was like I was two people in a giant storm bird’s body. But thanks to Gervas I managed to kind of… come back. Sort of. Possibly the reagents that were melded into my body as well. I’ve got a bit of dragon turtle in me now. Among other things.”

“She… has to be insane,” Green said.

“But if she’s not,” Red said. “Imagine what that could mean.”

“A phoenix is a living storm,” Green said. “No mage has ever managed to communicate with one and you expect me to believe that this journeyman managed to BECOME one?”

“Known mage,” Orange said.

“Excuse me?” Green asked.

“No known mage,” Orange said. “And two phoenixes did recently appear. We’ve only managed to locate one. If our journeyman mage here is the second, it would explain much.”

“This is insanity,” Green said. “She’s delusional!”

“Perhaps,” Red said. “But I’ve seen far stranger. Is it not our task to identify such things? So then, where is your phoenix half, as it were?”

“Outside,” Yvette said. “But--”

“ENOUGH!” Green yelled. “As head of these proceedings, I will not allow such mockery to continue. If you wish to lay claim to being a phoenix, then fine. I will test you. And should it all be another lie, your execution for your crimes will be all you deserve.”

“What?” Yvette asked. “But I never--”

The ground under her crackled and she could feel the magic gathering. She closed her eyes, lifting her hands up to cover her face. It--

Lightning streaked through her.

Power flowered through her, power she hadn’t felt since she’d first been captured. The storm at her beck and call.

The bracers on her wrists fell away, melted as the magic coursing through her system overwhelmed them.

It seemed she still was, in more ways than one, a phoenix.