Her True Form

Yvette felt the magic flowing through her, a storm of power. She directed it straight up, blowing a hole through the roof of the building and causing wood and ash to flow down around her. She barely had to even reach out for her phoenix half, the moment the hole was made she could feel the storm diving down towards her.

She lowered her eyes to see the council and--

Darkness.

Yvette stared towards the darkness, where the voices had come from. Despite the sunlight streaming in from above, she still couldn’t see anything through it. An impenetrable wall of shadows that no light could penetrate, even though the rest of the room was alight. A moment later, her phoenix descended, landing in her arms and the two readied themselves, awaiting a second attack.

Had the council fled?

“Hello?” Yvette called out. She took a small step back.

“That’s… impossible,” Green’s voice came.

“A phoenix,” Red said. “Even I’ve never seen such a thing. Green, your thirst for ‘justice’ nearly cost us something incredibly valuable. As such, I am moving to take over as head of this trial.”

“Seconded,” Orange said.

“What?! You can’t… fine. Very well, may what comes of this lay on your feet,” Green said, her voice filled with bitterness.

Yvette gulped and took another step backwards. All three of them were masters. As powerful as she was, she wouldn’t stand a chance. Would she? Could she even find them in that darkness?

“Tebaud was a human mage,” Red said. “This, however, is new. Even to me. A phoenix-mage.”

“You heard her,” Green said. “She’s spat in the face of our laws, rejected--”

“Yes, she has,” Red said. “Foolish, even arrogant. But possibly still useful. Imagine what we could learn from, and with, her. Phoenix magic is even less known than fae magic.”

“Y-you know I’m right here,” Yvette called out. “I-I can speak for myself.”

“Oh dear, no. No you should not,” Red said. “Your crimes are… sizable and, worse, you show no remorse.”

“I’m not sorry for anything I had to do!” Yvette yelled.

“She may have the power of a phoenix, but a mage like her would only cause more problems,” Green said.

“Perhaps,” Orange said. “But she requests little. We could gain much.”

“What?” Green asked. “Justice can’t be dismissed over such a thing!”

“Magic like this isn’t something any of us are familiar with,” Orange said. “She is… misguided, obviously. But she seems to at least believe she is doing the right thing. She’s certainly no butcher. And misguided and ignorant is certainly better than vile and wicked.”

“Our laws exist for a reason,” Green yelled. “We can’t allow exceptions just because of… of this display! She destroyed our roof.”

“Oh please,” Orange said. “I’ve done far worse during garden parties. Red has had more destructive sneezes. It’s hardly a poor reaction to nearly dying. There are far less destructive ‘tests’ that would have resulted in no real damage.”

“This is ridiculous,” Green snapped. “She has broken our laws and failed to even attempt to make up for anything. Even now she still spits in our face!”

“But she hasn’t run,” Red said. “Have you, journeyman?”

“Wait, is running an option?” Yvette asked. Her cheeks went bright red and she felt, honestly, like the world’s biggest fool. She really should have turned and ran…

…

Through a building filled with guards and mages and who knew what else. Through halls she didn’t know. All owned by a…

“Running isn’t an option, is it?” Yvette asked.

“No, it is not,” Red said. “Not even if you were to take to the skies. Though you’d hardly be the first to try.”

Yvette gulped. “I won’t… just… lay over and die. I… I am Yvette. I am also the Unceasing Storm. We are the Unceasing Storm and--”

“Oh dear, she’s so precious when she’s trying to be intimidating,” Red said, giving a light laugh. “So I take it this is your phoenix half? Or, at least… partially. That little display seems to hint towards there being some in both of you.”

Yvette took another small step back. How she wished she could see something, anything, through that darkness.

“Very well,” Green said. “Perhaps… it is time for a short recess while we… discuss this matter. Without the… journeyman being present. However… her bindings…”

“Not very effective this time, were they?” Red asked. “Yvette?”

“Y-yes?” Yvette asked softly.

“Go and stand outside the door for a little bit, would you?” Red asked.

Yvette slowly nodded and then backed away. “O-okay…” she said softly. She kept backing away, even as the door opened behind her. Once she was outside the room, it slammed shut in front of her. She gulped and turned back around and--

Saw nothing.

The hallway that had been here before, that she had walked through, was gone. All there was… was an empty room. As if a wall had just materialized to block her in. She sighed and looked down at the phoenix. “… I… I’m not sure what’s going on anymore. Are we in trouble or… not?”

Unceasing Storm didn’t seem to know any better than she did, the phoenix just as confused.

“Should… should we try to run?” Yvette asked her phoenix half.

She didn’t know why she asked. It was effectively talking to herself. She didn’t know, either. She’d heard tales of meeting the council. Of mages who had tried to flee. But they tried to execute her. Didn’t they? Even if it was a ‘test’. But they failed, so didn’t that mean she was off the hook? Shouldn’t there be a rule about that, if they fail to kill you then you’re free to go?

Unfortunately, the trials of a fallen mage were rarely a part of apprentice mages training. Other than it was something she never wanted to do. They didn’t want to listen to her, but now that she was different they did? She leaned back against the door and sighed.

Why did any of this have to be so complicated? She was a girl. She wanted to be a girl. Now she got to be a girl. But now she knew there were other girls in the same position she had been in. She couldn’t just abandon them to suffer like she had.

…

No. Yvette couldn’t. She hugged her phoenix-half closer. She’d only made it this far because of the support she’d been given by Gervas. If she was the kind of person who was willing to just accept terrible things because they weren’t happening to her anymore, then she wouldn’t be the kind of girl she wanted to be.

What was it Gervas said? ‘Don’t light yourself on fire to keep others warm.’ But she wasn’t trying to light herself on fire. She’d been given a reprieve. Now she wanted to give others one. She hugged her phoenix-half to her chest and smiled. It felt good. Even the feeling of holding the phoenix felt different now. It felt more right. That nagging ‘wrongness’ that had impacted so much of her life was now just… gone.

It’d be so easy to just cast it aside. To ignore it and let it disappear. Pretend it wasn’t an issue anymore. After all, she was better now. Even if she was split between herself and the storm.

But if she’d met herself a year ago and told herself everything was okay like this she’d have likely punched herself in the face and deserved it. Just because she was lucky enough to have help didn’t mean others would. And she could still remember that fear, that desperation. The anger when she got in trouble for daring to just wear girl’s clothing. To ask to be called a girl.

Nobody deserved to suffer that. Who knew? Maybe the fact she was a phoenix now would be enough to get the Mage’s Association to actually consider what it was she was trying to do. All she’d had to do was… die. So she could help people.

Okay, Gervas would likely have a lot of things to say about that. Eventually. When she found him.

“How long do you think they’ll keep us out here?” Yvette asked Unceasing Storm. As they were the same, she didn’t know either. But it couldn’t be that long, could it?

------

Yvette was stirred awake by the sound of the door opening once more.

Oh, her back managed to ache even more. It--

Actually, now that she thought about it, ever since she’d been electrocuted, she didn’t ache nearly as much. As awful as she had been feeling before, she felt pretty okay right now. A little sore from falling asleep sitting against the wall, but compared to how she had felt it was nothing.

Yvette wondered if she should just start hanging out in lightning storms. Getting hit by lightning really was exhilarating when you were powered by it.

She stepped into the room and made her way towards the small platform again. Above, the roof was back to how it had been, blocking out the sky once more. As if she hadn’t blasted a hole through it with her power. She wondered if one of the three had done it, or if they had other mages to do such things. She really didn’t like it here, but wasn’t sure she liked what would be happening when she left.

“Yvette,” Red’s voice seemed to echo through the chamber. “It seems we have hit an impasse.”

“Yes?” Yvette asked softly.

“On the one hand, your desire is… in theory, minor,” Red said. “Strange, yes. Why one would desire to merely change their gender when there are far better things one could shift into is… almost silly.”

“And yet everyone treats it like it’s a massive deal,” Yvette said bitterly. “Funny how it’s a minor thing until I actually try to do it and then suddenly I end up a criminal for wanting to be me.”

“However,” Red said. “Your absolute lack of any regret for your choice shows a… willingness to break even our most sacred laws to suit your own needs.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, I just want to be me!” Yvette yelled.

“That is being taken into account,” Red said. “Normally, our laws in this case are clear. Execution. Stealing a forbidden spell such as this is something we must deal with harshly. We cannot allow a precedent to be set that when one merely disagrees with our laws, it is okay for them to break them without consequence.”

“So I’m going to be executed?” Yvette asked nervously, a hand moving up to her throat.

“Under most circumstances, yes,” Red said. “But… again, this is a situation that is most… unique. A phoenix-born. Unfortunately, we have no way of communicating with your… patron, as it were. We’ve tried in the past, but phoenixes are difficult. Deciding where you stand has become more complex.”

“What?” Yvette asked.

“The Mage’s Association judges our mages alone,” Red said. “But there has been precedent set that dragons, fae, leviathans and other such magical creatures have laid claim to mages as their own. In such cases, we often try to work with them to determine a fitting punishment. In your case, that is impossible. So you would, again, default to our judgment. Instead, we’ve decided to make you an offer.”

“An… offer?” Yvette asked, clutching Unceasing Storm to her chest.

“The spell to alter one’s true form is forbidden for a reason. It is dangerous magic. However… perhaps a variation of the spell can be created,” Red said. “One that allows a mage to alter their own gender, or those of others, permanently.”

“You would do that?” Yvette asked, taking a small step forward.

“No,” Red said. “But perhaps you can.”

“W-what?” Yvette asked. “But I’m a… a fallen mage.”

“Indeed,” Red said. “But, under the Mage’s Association’s direction, perhaps you can be more. In return for serving the Mage’s Association in its research of phoenixes, we will allow you to perform your own research into creating your own variation of the spell.”

Yvette gulped, hugging Unceasing Storm even tighter. “I… I could create my own spell?”

“Indeed,” Red said. “With the backing of the council. You would be allowed access to the original spell in question. While under strict supervision.”

“I’ll do it!” Yvette said quickly, unable to stop herself.

“It’s not quite that simple,” Orange said, his voice amused. “However, the enthusiasm is appreciated.”

“What else do you need?” Yvette asked.

“Much,” Red said. “For now… consider yourself a guest of the Mage’s Association. You’ll be granted a room within the boundary and, once all terms are determined, you’ll need to go over them and decide if you’ll accept. For now…” A loud, heavy thump filled the room. The door behind her opened and, a moment later, a golem made of iron lumbered slowly into the room. “A room has been prepared. Please. You and your… other half should get some rest.”

Yvette nodded, though she felt slightly numb. Following the golem out of the room, she felt her stomach twisting in knots. Were they really going to just… let her do it? So easily? After everything they’d put her through? It couldn’t just be that easy, could it?