Her True Form

Yvette hugged Unceasing Storm to her chest, the warmth of her phoenix form comforting while she waited. If she wasn’t careful, she’d fall asleep.

It took her a moment to realize she HAD fallen asleep. Leaning against the bed’s headboard. She hoped she hadn’t fallen asleep for long. Why’d she even wake up? Was--

Then her eyes locked to the doorway.

Gervas.

Yvette let out a low squeak and started to get to her feet, only to pause and pull back. “Gervas… I…”

He didn’t speak, his eyes locked on her.

When last they’d spoken, she’d been one thing. A phoenix. Now she was two. Kind of. “Gervas, I…” she started, only to stop.

When last they’d seen each other, they’d been in the Realm of the Fae. Had been concerned about the threats they faced. When he woke up, she was gone. What must he have thought of her? Was he mad at her? Was he protective? She wasn’t even sure how long it had been. Did he still…

…

Yvette trusted him, of course she trusted him. But it didn’t stop her from pulling back against the headboard and pulling her knees to her chest, hugging her phoenix to her chest. Even Unceasing Storm was quiet, unsure of how to act. Even a phoenix’s self-assurances of its glory didn’t seem to help here. All sides of her were nervous.

Why didn’t he say something? Anything? Was he waiting for her?

“Gervas… I…” Yvette said softly, finally loading her eyes. “It wasn’t… that long ago. Or maybe it was. It feels like lifetimes ago… you… said… maybe… you could fall in love with someone like me?”

“And then you slapped me,” Gervas said.

“No,” Yvette said quickly. “I told you I loved you and then you said I was being emotional. You said you could love me and then we had to face a bunch of sirens.”

“You seem to remember that a lot better than I would have expected,” Gervas said, slowly.

“It was kind of important to me,” Yvette said softly. “I… I need to tell you some things.”

“… Yes?” Gervas asked.

“I’m… not quite the same…” Yvette said softly. “I’m not… entirely… a phoenix anymore.”

“I can see that,” Gervas said. “How…?”

“Fae,” Yvette said. “Split me down the middle, kind of. Phoenix on one side, mage on the other. Both girls, though. So… that’s nice. Messed with my magic, though. I’m kind of still a phoenix and a mage on both sides, I think? It’s… really hard to explain. But we’re… Yvette? But also… I’m Yvette?”

“I see,” Gervas said.

“And also Unceasing Storm. We’re both… the same. But kind of not. We’re better together,” Yvette said. “But… ummm. So there’s that.”

“Of course,” Gervas said.

“And… I talked to Vala,” Yvette said. “She was… well. She gave me some advice, I guess.” Gervas gave a light snort. “You still don’t like her very much, do you?”

“She’s… fine,” Gervas said. “I’d be wary of her advice.”

“You’re wary of everything,” Yvette said, rolling her eyes. “I’ll bet right now you’re wary that… I’m… oh. You… don’t think… I’m really… me, do you? When last we saw each other, well… I… I am. Though.”

“I know,” Gervas said softly. “You’re a rambler. It’s… a memorable trait of yours.”

“Then please, say something,” Yvette said softly, hugging Unceasing Storm to her chest ever tighter. “Say… something… about this. About me. I… I don’t know where we stand. I’m not even entirely sure what’s going on here. The council wants me for something because apparently being this weird phoenix mix is important to them. Figures, nobody really cared about me at the start of this whole adventure. Now suddenly I’ve got a stupid prince who wants to keep me as his pet, a whole order of weird religious weirdos borderline worshiping me, the Mage’s Association is considering offering me the very thing I wanted from day one and all I had to do for this is die. Right? Isn’t that the ultimate kicker? I had to die to matter. Heh. So just… just say something.”

“Something,” Gervas said.

Yvette blinked a few times before glaring at him. “Gervas!”

“I missed you,” Gervas said before leaning back against the wall and staring at her. “You were right, though.”

“Which time?”

“I wasn’t sure if you were you,” Gervas said. “You look… different.”

“Than when I was alive?” Yvette asked. “I mean, I’m a girl now.”

“No,” Gervas said. “Not that.”

“I’m half the person I was,” Yvette said. “Sort of?”

“Not that, either,” Gervas said. “I can’t quite place it. You seem… less tense.”

“Really?” Yvette asked. Both she and Unceasing Storm just gave him an annoyed look.

“Yes,” Gervas said before slowly walking towards her. She lifted a hand towards him before pulling it back.

“I… Gervas…” Yvette said softly. “Could… you?”

“Yes?” Gervas said.

“Love us? I know this is… weird,” Yvette said. Even Unceasing Storm thought that. It was… well. It wasn’t like they could stop being this. Not anymore than they could just stop being a girl. “I mean. I’m kind of… all--”

Her words were cut off by his arms wrapping around her and pulling her against him. “Yes,” Gervas said softly. “I missed you.”

Yvette couldn’t help it. Tears welled up in her eyes and she leaned into him. It felt like it had been a lifetime since he’d held her. Which, in a way, she supposed it had. She finally just let it all out. Tears flowed down her face as Unceasing Storm began to increase her winds. She told him everything.

How it felt to die. How it felt to be a phoenix. How she’d been drifting away, yet he’d helped ground her. How long she had struggled to find herself, who she truly was past being a girl and being his mage. Her fears about losing him. What she’d seen. Her time as a phoenix. Her travels through the Realm of the Fae. Meeting Ermina. Finding Ursula and Bayla. Her capture. Her fears she’d never see him again. Her experiences at the hands of the council. Meeting her master again.

Meeting his mother.

“I do not like that woman,” Yvette said softly.

“Yet another reason I’m quite fond of you,” Gervas said softly. “I’m sorry, I would have given you more warning but… well. I didn’t really have any either.”

“About her being here?” Yvette asked.

“About you being here,” Gervas said.

“Sorry,” Yvette said before closing her eyes and just leaning against him. She was tired. So very tired. She felt empty, having spent so many tears that she wasn’t sure she could cry anymore.

But she felt like that storm had been calmed. Maybe it wasn’t as unceasing as she’d believed.

“Thank you,” Yvette said softly.

“I couldn’t leave you behind,” Gervas said softly. “Its been… crazy.”

“What happened to you?” Yvette asked.

“Nautia, Bayla and I were tossed into the Realm of the Fae. I don’t know where, it was cold and miserable,” Gervas said. “Vala found us, however. Apparently locating those lost in that realm is… part of her duty.”

“And once you left?” Yvette asked. “Vala mentioned three trials?”

“I needed help to find you,” Gervas said. “I’m not fae. I know little about them. Since that ring of yours blocks anyone from following you with magic, I needed help.”

“Your grandmother?” Yvette asked. “My master?”

“I needed good mages,” Gervas said. “Powerful ones. Betan… I know he comes off as harsh, but he does care about you.”

Yvette cringed and resisted shaking her head. “I know. But…”

“It doesn’t excuse him for refusing to listen to you,” Gervas said. “Vala’s patron offered help if I faced his trials. I… I’m sorry about Ursula. I never would have thought she’d…”

“Sell me out to mage hunters?” Yvette asked softly. “I’d say I’m surprised, but I’m really not. I’m just another fallen mage, right? I’m more concerned for Bayla. They didn’t bring her with me, so there’s no telling if Ursula sold her out or worse.”

“Bayla will be fine,” Gervas said. “Ursula wouldn’t--” He cringed and cut himself off.

“Bayla isn’t a fallen mage,” Yvette said again. “Let’s get her away from there as soon as we can. I guess depending on how this goes, maybe I’ll train her. She’s a bit old to start learning magic, but there have been older.”

“A few,” Gervas said softly. “We… met with my grandmother. After. It took a lot of convincing, but she agreed to try and help us find you. Breaking the spell shielding you wouldn’t be easy, but it is, technically, possible. Maybe. But then we’d have to have found you in the Realm of the Fae.” He took a slow, deep breath. “So… my grandmother… asked my mother to help as well. Without telling me. I didn’t find out until I was on my way back here.”

Yvette cringed. “Ah. She wanted to make sure she met you before we met up again?”

“Of course,” Gervas said. “You didn’t actually throw lightning at her, did you?”

“Just a little bit,” Yvette said sheepishly. “More a few sparks, though.”

“I see,” Gervas said. “You should throw more next time. Maybe save us all the trouble.”

Yvette gave a light snort and closed her eyes again. She missed this. Missed him. He even smelt the same. It was so strange how his scent alone could make her feel so safe and secure. “So how long were you searching for me?”

“We never got the chance,” Gervas said. “We were in the Vault for weeks, trying to find a way to break that shield over you. Well, not exactly that one, but another ring of such magic I procured before leaving Ursula. But we never succeeded. Then… well…”

“I was captured?” Yvette asked.

“No. Then we received news that your trial was over,” Gervas said. “That you were found guilty.” His arms tightened around her and both of her went red. “I thought you were dead. That you’d been… executed.”

“I almost was,” Yvette said sheepishly.

“All of the masters and grandmasters were invited to weigh in,” Gervas said. “My grandmother had a portal arranged for us to come in person. The intention was to argue on your behalf.”

“Even Master Betan?” Yvette asked.

“He doesn’t agree with you being who you are,” Gervas said. “But he doesn’t think you’re evil, either. Just… misguided. I can… almost… see why…”

“You thought I was, once,” Yvette said softly.

“There’s a lot about you to like, Yvette. Even more to love,” Gervas said, his hand stroking down her back. “I was a fool to let that one part of you hide who you truly were from me. I don’t know how I can make up for that.”

“Saving my life a few times and putting up with my ‘suicidal mage’ tendencies helps,” Yvette said softly. “Never giving up on me when I died, though? That, I think, helped make up for it the most. I don’t know if I’d be here if not for you.”

“I think you could have come back without me,” Gervas said gently.

“Maybe,” Yvette said softly. “But I didn’t have to. That makes a huge difference. I’m not alone. So long as that’s true… I think I can even face the council.”

“And your uhhhh…” Gervas asked before motioning to Unceasing Storm.

“My phoenix half?” Yvette asked. “It’s not quite the same. Talking to yourself is still just talking to yourself, even when you have two separate bodies.”

“How… exactly does that work?” Gervas asked.

“No idea,” Yvette said with a shrug. “It’s weird. But hey, at least it means my mage tendencies to almost die will be… weakened a bit. That’s useful, right?”

Gervas gave a small chuckle before nodding. “It is. And I will be here, Yvette. I won’t make you face the council alone. I promise.”

Yvette nodded. She probably could face the council alone now, if she had to. She’d done it once. More than that, they seemed interested in working with her.

But she didn’t have to. She wasn’t alone. She felt more like herself than she had in a long while. He really had become such a powerful part of her.