Here, Have a Cookie a Pokemon Fanfiction

I groaned as the all too familiar arch to Petalburg Woods came into view.

‘Why are we going through this hell hole again?’ Emilie asked.

Apollo cawed his agreement from above.

“Can we just teleport to Petalburg? Please?” I asked May, hoping we could just skip this shit, and go back to the center. May shook her head.

“A, we can’t afford it, and B, we’d be laughed at by our fellow travelers. It’s a long-standing tradition that you have to at least run the gauntlet for your first run through a region,” May said.

“Fine... Guess it would be kind of lame, huh? Just so we’re clear though, we ARE teleporting back to Petalburg once we get our fourth badge, right?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah no. Fuck that. We aren’t walking from Lavaridge all the way back to Petalburg. As a side note, the traditional path through the gyms makes no fucking sense.” I laughed as I pushed past the gate into the dark under brush.

“Well, our Routes haven’t exactly stayed the same. There’s a reason people call it the ‘traditional’ route,” I said.

May jumped as a loud shriek echoed from far off.

“Also, you should probably-”

“Already on it.” May said as she released Suzy and Samie. I wasn’t too far behind in letting Joern out, figuring he’d be fine going through the forest this time.

I noticed May was cradling Bulbasaur’s Ball, before she gripped it tight and let him out.

“Alright, Bulbasaur. We’re here, and I'm a trainer of my word.” May sighed as she looked toward the tree line. “Say the word, and you’re a free Pokémon.”

“Bul...” Bulbasaur took a moment to look at the trees around him, then at May, then back to the trees.

‘Any insights?’ I asked Emilie.

‘He’s torn,’ Emilie confirmed. ‘He’s happy to be home, but he doesn’t want to leave May.’

“Saur!”

‘He’s also annoyed I keep sneaking a peak at his thoughts. I can’t help it, hon. You’re a poison type. It’s almost impossible to ignore your surface thoughts.’ Emilie did her best to console Bulbasaur.

‘Huh, are poison types like me then?’ I asked.

‘No, you’re worse.,’ Emilie deadpanned. ‘A Poison Fighting Type would probably be about as bad as you are.’

‘I hate...’ I trailed off as Bulbasaur walked up to May before shifting himself around so that he’s standing by her side.

“Saur.”

‘He’s staying with us,’ Emilie confirmed.

I fist pumped before smiling at May.

“Congrats. Now and forever, you are the proud owner of a Bulbasaur,” I said. “Now name him already. I’m tired of calling him ‘The Bulbasaur.’”

‘Make it good, too. Your first two kind of flopped,’ Bulbasaur complained.

I didn’t think that was fair, Suzaku wasn’t a bad name, it was just... slightly confusing. I still want to know what the inspiration for Samie was though. Regardless, I was the only one allowed to make fun of May.

“Bulbasaur’s dissing your naming skills, May. You should go with a pun,” I said with a malevolent grin.

Bulbasaur glared at me.

“Well, I’m not exactly good at thinking up nicknames, alright,” May whined.

I heard Sergei send out a notification. May switched over to messenger. “Sergei, no!” I looked over her shoulder and immediately cracked up.

“Bulba Fett. Nice. Ten outta ten, would push into a Carnivine Pit again,” I joked. Emilie lost it at that.

‘Hell no!’ Bulbasaur cried out in horror.

Sergei sounded out another alert.

“Eeehhh, Planthony is a bit on the nose, Sergei. I feel like that one’s trying too hard,” I chastised. “I gotta dock points, seven outta ten.”

“Would you two be serious for a second!” May shouted.

“Now May, we’re being very serious right now. It’s probably why Bulbasaur is getting paler as we go,” I joked.

Bulbasaur brought out the vines.

‘Try it, and you’ll figure out how painful it is to undo a double bow knot,’ Emilie threatened. ‘Take your humiliation like a man, d’accord. If you wanted a cool name, you shoulda joined Lea’s team.’

‘We have a theme,’ Joern supplied helpfully. ‘And none of the names are terrible.’

‘I feel a bit bad for the bloke that gets saddled with Lukas though. That one’s kind of boring,’ Apollo supplied.

Three pings went off, and I noticed that Sergei was sending my team’s conversation through messenger.

“Actually...” May trailed off. “Lea, if you could be serious and not six years old, what would you go with?”

I leaned back in surprise.

“May, naming your Pokémon is supposed to be a personal thing.” I frowned. “Just pick something that speaks to both of you.”

“Well, what’s currently speaking to me is the idea that you know me better than anyone,” May said casually. “And I think you’d pick out something good that I would like if you put your mind to it.”

I felt my cheeks heat up a bit and I quickly looked away, hoping she didn’t see.

“Well... uh.” I stammered, before going back to my treasure trove of subtle nerd culture nods. It still felt weird naming someone else's Pokémon, but I guess this wouldn’t be the first time. I technically named Rotom, after all. “Leshy.”

“Gesundheit,” May responded.

I groaned. Dammit May. “No, you idiot. Leshy. That can be his name.”

May tilted her head. “What’s the reference. I like how the name flows, but with you, there’s usually a story attached to stuff like this.”

“You know me so well. So, it is a nerd culture reference, Leshy’s the name of a character from a game I pirated. He was an intimidating forest deity.” They didn’t need to know he was a Decidueye. “Incredibly powerful, capricious, and delighted in playing games with people he trapped in his domain, but fair. He met you as an enemy at first, but you left him as a friend.”

‘Well, I don’t want to say goodbye, but everything else sounds nice.’ Bulbasaur nodded once. ‘I like it.’

“I like that it kind of sticks with the theme of naming my Pokémon after deities. Though, I'm a bit worried that it might make me sound a bit conceited.” May shrugged her shoulders. “I like the name though, so we’re keeping it. Told you you’d pick a good one.”

I blushed. Again.

“Right, Leshy has his name. Let’s get a move on, I don’t want to be in this forest more than I absolutely have to,” I said.

Leshy pushed his vines out to block my path.

‘Wait,’ he exclaimed. ‘I... want to say goodbye to someone.’ He pointed his vines toward a dense patch of trees. ‘I can take point.’

“Leshy wants to-”

“I read already.” May cut me off. “I don’t want to take you from someone, Leshy. If you-”

‘They won’t notice I'm gone.’ Leshy cut her off. ‘Just follow me.’ He started walking through the trees. We followed behind, and Apollo took to the skies to start scouting.

‘Mostly clear, captain.’

‘Mostly?’ I asked nervously.

‘A few Silcoon, don’t worry. I’ll let ye know when something sports a black flag,’ Apollo replied.

Leshy pushed some branches out of the way as he guided us forward. The trees were slowly starting to open up, right until...

“Whoa...” I whispered.

The entire area had been obliterated. What I assumed was once a lush green clearing had been reduced to barren earth, ash, and burnt bark. The trees on the outskirts of the clearing had broken branches, and I noticed a collapsed pile of rocks to the far side of the opening that I assumed used to be Leshy’s cave.

This used to be Leshy’s home.

“Leshy, do you need a moment?” May asked.

‘It’s fine.’ Leshy walked toward a single stone that had been slammed into the ground. ‘I met some people.’ Who’s he...

Oh.

‘They’re... not that bright, if I'm being honest. They’re nice though. Honest. Fun.’ Leshy stayed quiet for a bit, and I noticed how quiet this place was. ‘I think you would have liked them. They’re strong too.’ Another pause. ‘I hope the attack didn’t scare you too bad. I made it out okay, though. These girls got rid of the bad guy.’ He stopped again.

‘Should you be translating this for me?’ I asked Emilie.

‘He wants you to hear.’ Emilie answered. ‘Needs us to, actually.’

‘Spirits this is hard to say. I’m leaving the forest with them.’ Leshy exhaled as he finished speaking. ‘I don’t know if it’s the right thing yet, but it’s something I want to do. It’s been a while since I've really wanted to do anything, so I'm going to go with it.’ Leshy smiled. ‘Just think, the next time I stop by, I'll have endless stories to share.’ Leshy stood up. ‘I...’ He stopped. ‘I will be back, so... it feels incorrect to call this goodbye. I guess... see you later works.’ He turned from the marker and started back the way we had come.

“Leshy...” May trailed off. He didn’t respond and we followed suit. The whole group was silent as we made our way back.

‘You would be my second trainer, May.’ Leshy explained as we got to the base of the clearing. He stopped and looked up at May. Sergei made an audible ping, and May pulled up messenger. ‘Make sure there’s never a third.’

May nodded.

“I don’t plan on going anywhere, anytime soon.”

Leshy chuckled hollowly at that.

‘Most people don’t.’ Leshy replied.

‘Er...sorry, cap.’ I turned to glare at Apollo. This better be important. ‘I hate that I’m interrupting, but I noticed something weird. The Silcoon are gone.’ My eyes widened.

‘They’re stationary. How the hell did they leave. Did they evolve?’ I asked, slightly worried. Apollo shook his head.

‘I don’t think so, I think they were moved,’ Apollo explained. ‘Just... stay alert. Something feels off.’

I nodded before relaying the message. Bulbasaur looked back into the clearing and nodded once before turning and walking away.

‘See you later, Aster,’ Leshy said. We walked out of the clearing to the faint sound of buzzing.

“Apollo, Aerial Ace.” Three.

“Flame Charge the one Apollo doesn’t tag, Suzy. Don’t give them an inch,” May ordered.

I glared balefully across the clearing at the pair of Dustox that had decided, for no fucking reason, that we were prime targets to bully.

This was the third time we had gotten jumped in the last hour. There weren’t even any Cascoon around to protect!

“I hate this fucking forest!” I snarled as both of our opponents folded like a bad poker hand.

‘Are they done?’ Emilie asked, holding a barrier of water around us as we moved closer to the downed Dustox. I sighed in relief.

“They’re done,” I replied.

May nodded once before freezing as an all too familiar sound echoed from above.

“Pine.”

“EVERYBODY DOWN!” I shouted as a pair Pineco divebombed us.

I grabbed May and pulled us down before rolling away from the glowing Pokémon. A familiar heat radiated out as they detonated, and a wall of fire and air shoved us into the bushes. Sticks dug into my side as we rolled, and May winced against my grip as we slammed into a tree. Pain radiated from my side from the impact.

“Oww...” I heard May breathe out before pulling herself away from me and to her feet. She offered me a hand up.

“Everyone okay?” I asked as I slowly grabbed May’s hand and slowly pulled myself up. Nothing felt broken, and none of my clothes were on fire this time. Thank fuck. The epicenter of the path was scorched, and the branches above were broken. Emilie reformed on my shoulder before sagging against my neck.

‘That was way too fucking close,’ Emilie commented.

I nodded my agreement as Samie popped his head up from underground and Apollo dived down. Suzy tilted her head around a tree slowly with Leshy under wing, and Joern was just... dusting himself off, a few vines extended down into the ground as he glared at the downed Pineco.

‘Why do I keep getting exploded on?’ Joern asked.

I opened my mouth to make the easy joke.

‘Don’t say a damn word.’ Emilie hissed in my mind before giving Joern a consoling glance.

I glared at her before shifting my focus to the branch bombs.

“Alright, that does it.” I shouted as I jogged up to the Pineco. I grabbed the now unconscious bagworm and tried to rouse him. “Wake up, you stupid bug. Why the hell are all of you trying to kill us?”

‘Kidnapper.’ I jerked around to face another Pineco and backed away slowly. ‘Where is Surskit?’ he asked.

I glared at the Pineco in slight confusion. “Surskit?” I asked.

The Pineco’s glare worsened. ‘Yes. Surskit. Friend left with you and hasn’t come back. Where is friend?’

I stopped and stared for a second before realizing who this was.

“Oh! You’re the Pineco Surskit introduced us too. How’s it going?” I asked conversationally. I noticed May groaning out of the corner of my eye.

“Lea! Get back! We are not doing this again!” May shouted from a crouch as she desperately tried to pull me away from the angry pinecone.

‘I am doing better than you. Where is Surskit?’ He repeated.

“She decided to stick with Wally, our green haired friend, and Emilie, the fairy type that can’t lie, would be more than happy to tell you that she’s enjoying her new partnership,” I explained with a smile.

‘Yup.’ Emilie gave me a thumbs up. The Pineco’s glare seemed to become more intense.

‘You took friend,’ Pineco said.

I frowned.

“Lea! Get. Away. From. The. Pineco!”

I ignored May.

“No, Wally asked friend if she wanted to hang out more, and friend said yes. Big difference,” I corrected.

‘Friend wouldn’t leave...’ The Pineco seemed to droop. ‘Where is friend?’

“As of this moment, probably hanging out with Wally’s family in Verdunturf town.” Assuming he didn’t get held up in the shattered pass for some reason.

‘How far away is that?’

Huh, this is one loyal Pineco. Or he’s lonely, one of the two.

“It’s about two full routes worth of travel, and you have to cut through a city. At least that’d be how humans would go.” I looked Pineco up and down. “I don’t really know how Pineco get around though, so...”

‘Direction, human,’ Pineco said, slightly exasperated.

“Northeast from here. It’s the village that smells like flowers,” I explained.

‘I will make do.’ The Pineco retracted his string shot and pulled himself further up into the tree. ‘Enjoy the rest of your time in the forest.’

“Such a nice guy. That Pineco,” I said.

Emilie glared at me.

‘You do realize he’s the reason we’ve been getting attacked, right?’ Emilie prodded, glaring at the spot the Pineco had left from.

‘Yeah, but he was just worried about his friend. If May or any of you guys ever disappeared, I’d probably burn the town down trying to save them,’ I commented. I suddenly felt a very sharp pull on the collar of my shirt.

“Fuck. You. And. You're. Lack. Of. Self. Preservation. Skills.” May shook me back and forth with every word. “What’s the point of giving me veto powers if you don’t ever listen! We’re both going to die in this forest, and it’s exclusively because you being an idiot is going to give me a heart attack!”

“Stop the ride. I don’t want to ride the pirate ship anymore.” The whole world was spinning as I struggled to keep things in focus.

May stopped shaking me, but the world kept spinning regardless.

‘I didn’t even do anything, why am I being punished,’ Emilie said shakily.

“Just... be more mindful. Okay?” May begged.

I shook my head to clear the disorientation before giving May a reassuring smile.

“I’ll be better, I promise. I think they might go a little easier on us now, at least. And hey, we figured out that we’re tougher than some of the toughest bugs in here, so we should be sitting pretty for the rest of the trip!” I said excitedly.

May shot me a withering look. “Well, now we aren’t now that you’ve said that,”

Ah fuck. I tempted Murphy, didn’t I?

“Double time it, everyone. I want out of this forest yesterday!” I shouted.

The forest looked different at night, I realized. It wasn’t something I really noticed the first time we came through here, mostly because last time, we had already set up camp by the time the sun had set, but the setting sun seemed to have an effect all its own on the plants. Small lights danced in front of my vision, similar to what we had seen in the Fae’s glade, and the trees almost seemed to reach out forever into the night sky.

May huddled into me as she looked up and around at the shifting landscape, and I felt a bit of heat creep up my cheeks. Helping her through this last time was so much easier.

“We should make camp,” May rushed out.

I nodded, before a brighter light caught my eye. It danced along the trees, its orange glow flickering in the night sky.

“Or we could join someone else’s camp,” I suggested.

May hesitated.

“We fucked up and stopped late. Finding firewood is going to be a chore, and we’ll be easy pickings for anything with decent night vision. Let’s just go up and say hello, alright?” I asked.

Emilie stared ahead intently, and I noticed Apollo fly down from his perch and Suzy move closer to May.

‘Everything alright?’ I asked.

‘I feel the presence of an ancient enemy,’ Emilie said. I stared at her in confusion. ‘A dragon.’

“Dragon!” I shouted, only to get shushed by both Emilie and Apollo.

May gave me a single, wide eyed stare as the light in the distance warped, and a shadow was cast out across the tree line. I grabbed May and pulled her into the bushes. Our Pokémon followed suit.

“Lea, what-” I brought my finger to my lips.

A faint trudging sounded out in the silent clearing as a woman in a red cloak walked forward, her red eyes scanning the area as she inched closer to our hiding spot. I leaned back in shock once I realized that this was the same chick we had walked past on the way to Rustboro.

Fuck Murphy and his laws.

I held my breath as I looked on from our hastily made hiding spot, holding May close to try and make ourselves as small as possible.

‘Can you get a read on her?’ I asked Emilie, careful not to make a sound.

‘She... doesn’t seem like a threat? She’s here to find a runaway from something called Team Magma. I’m guessing her runaway is the thief that got...’ Emilie trailed off.

“You can come out, you know? I won’t bite,” she said.

I felt May freeze up next to me.

“Need to train your psychic to be a bit more subtle with her probes. I just want to talk.” She didn’t move or say anything else.

I put my finger to my lips and motioned for May to stay hidden.

“If this goes sideways, get the hell out of dodge. I think Emilie can probably teleport me out.” I whispered. ‘Tell Apollo and Suzy to stay with May.’ I ordered Emilie.

“Veto!” May whispered. “Let’s just high tail it.”

Our choice didn’t matter, ultimately.

A single white light exploded from Leshy’s Poke Ball as the grass type released himself into the clearing. The second the light faded, a vine erupted from his bulb towards the stranger.

‘Murderer!’ Leshy screamed. ‘You dare show yourself in these woods?’ The girl jumped back as the vine slammed into the ground, kicking up a bit of dust.

“Bulbasaur?” The girl said, her voice shocked as she pulled up a single Poke Ball and released-

That was a fucking Salamence.

“Bulbasaur!” May shouted, before rushing out into the clearing. I rushed after her.

Bulbasaur launched a leaf volley at the massive blue dragon with black and red wings. I thought Salamence’s wings were red, what made this thing so special?

The Salamence brought his wings around his trainer and the leaves bounced harmlessly to the side. He snarled and leaned forward.

“Stop!” The girl ordered.

The dragon halted in place, glaring down at Leshy with unwavering intensity. Leshy returned the hateful gaze without flinching.

‘Hatred is a powerful tool,’ Emilie said.

“I’m terribly sorry about this. He’s not normally like this, I promise. Just let me return him and we can be on our-” The girl raised her hand up and May instantly stopped talking.

“I am pleased you are doing well, my friend.” she said to Leshy. “I’m happy to see you’ve found new friends.”

‘You are not welcome here,’ Leshy snarled. ‘And I am no longer your friend. Leave. Now!’

The girl winced. Could she understand him?

“I am sorry you feel that way,” she replied. “I truly do wish I could leave you in peace, but sadly, I am searching for someone.” She shifted her gaze away from Leshy and stared directly at May. “Don’t suppose either of you have seen a tall man in a red hoodie during your travels, have you?”

May froze at being directly addressed.

“I...”

I jumped between May and woman and glared at her.

“What if we did?” I asked aggressively.

Both Emilie and Apollo looked at me like I was deranged, Joern let himself out of his ball, and Suzy stood next to me, glaring at the girl in front of us.

“Ah, you’re the girl with the psychic. I admire your bravery and loyalty.” she said conversationally, before hyper focusing on Emilie. The Salamence snarled and leaned forward slightly, but the girl, once again, raised her hand. “Apologies. Dragons disdain the Fae. Be not afraid, he will not attack you.”

I could hear Emilie swallow.

“To answer your earlier question, I suppose I would ask where you last saw him. The man fled from our group, and I have been tasked with bringing him home.”

‘Why am I not surprised you know that monster?’ Leshy asked.

The girl winced again but didn’t reply.

“Your associate burned down Bulbasaur’s home, mugged someone, and held a Pokémon hostage.” I listed off with a glare. “You’ll understand if we’re a bit... leery of dealing with you.”

I felt May run up behind me. I winced as she pinched me in the side.

“Be a bit nicer to the chick with the weird looking Salamence, alright? If she suddenly decides we’re threats, we’re all dead,” May whispered into my ear.

“I see. I’m sorry you had to deal with him.” This girl hadn’t shifted out of monotone since the start of our conversation. She reminded me of Eve... “Could you tell me what happened?” she asked.

“Your friend pissed off a group of fairies deep in the woods. Last I saw, he was tied to a tree with Vine Whip, surrounded by no less than a hundred Fairies.” It was probably closer to fifty but exaggerating the threat those Fae posed sounded like a damn good idea right now. “We didn’t stick around to see what happened next, but I think you can put the pieces together yourself.”

“I see, a pity.”

Her friend was killed and that’s all she can say? What?

“Thank you, though. You speak the truth-”

‘Which means you can leave,’ Leshy snarled.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” she said. She didn’t move from her spot. “Don’t suppose either of you girls would be interested in a job?”

“I think I’m good as I am, thanks,” I said. Especially if this is how you treat your employees. May nodded with me.

“Fair enough.” She raised her hand into the air, and the Salamence retracted his wings a bit and lowered himself down. The girl got on his back. “Look up Team Magma in Mawville if you change your mind. You and your friend can have my campfire.” I walked forward a bit. This was probably colossally stupid, but... I felt like I needed to do this.

“Shutting out the world isn’t going to help you, you know?” I asked.

The girl froze.

“It just makes things worse,” I said.

The girl looked at me, then at Leshy.

“Worse is what I deserve,” she said with finality, before urging the Salamence higher.

He beat his wings once, and the trees were blown back as he cleared the top of the forest with a single flap. I blinked, and they were gone, disappearing into the clearing into the dark horizon. I stared at the single dot that disappeared into the night sky in awe.

“Who the hell was that?” I asked.

I felt Emilie and Apollo sag against my neck as the tension started to leave the area. Suzy all but collapsed into the ground before Joern ran forward and held her up. I turned slightly to see May staring at me in a mix of anger and fear.

“What?” I asked.

May opened her mouth, but Leshy cut her off.

‘That,’ Leshy said with a snarl. ‘Was Zinnia.’ Leshy took a deep breath to calm down before walking forward. Leading us towards the campfire. ‘The trainer responsible for my previous trainer’s death.’

“May, please stop ignoring me,” I begged.

May didn’t say anything as she handed me a stick with a single marshmallow on it. I sighed. I had been getting the cold shoulder since our run in with Zinnia.

“Bulba,” Leshy shouted from the other side of the campfire.

‘That wasn’t a word. Just a bark of annoyance,’ Emilie explained.

‘Tell him to fuck off. I understand if he doesn’t want to talk about what just happened but tell him to stop being a grump,’ I said.

Emilie laughed, and Leshy glared at me before turning away from the fire.

I sighed before turning back to May. “Look, I don’t even know what I did that pissed you off so much! Help me out here, at least. I can’t just apologize for no reason.”

May sighed before looking away. “I shouldn’t be upset. Not really,” May finally said. “It’s... you keep putting yourself between me and danger. One of these days it’s going to bite you in the ass.”

"I’m not going to apologize for that,” I said.

May glared. “I can take care of myself, Lea. I need you to watch your own back more. I... I don’t know how I’d function if something happened to you.” May got quieter the longer she talked.

“Yeah, well... I don’t know how I’d function without you either, so... get used to it?” I said.

May started ruffling through her bag and pulled out a bag of marshmallows.

“I will apologize for worrying you, though. I... might have gotten mouthier with the dragon lady than was necessary.”

“You think?” May asked, her tone flat as she glared at me. “Just take better care of yourself, alright? I... I’m not strong enough to talk to your headstone.” May looked away, before stabbing a marshmallow with a stick and passed it to me. “Sorry. I’m just... hoping the normalcy will get me to calm down.”

I grabbed the stick and put it over the fire.

“I understand, and I promise,” I said. “Just know that I’m probably always going to look out for you. I’m not strong enough to talk to your headstone either.”

May hesitated as she stared down into the fire, before nodding her head once.

“As long as you’re fine with me doing the same, that’ll do for now,” May said, her voice firmer as she stared into the fire.

I sighed in relief.

“Still mad at you though.”

“Hey, at least we got to see a bad ass Pokémon. I never thought I’d get to see a Salamence up close,” I said.

May tensed.

“Wrong thing to say?” I asked.

“Little bit.” May sighed. “I’ll be better once my nerves have calmed down. I’m really happy she wasn’t like her ‘associate’.”

I winced.

“Yeah, she could’ve wasted us without trying. She didn’t though,” I said.

May winced again.

“I need to just stop talking. My shoes do NOT taste-”

“Your marshmallow’s burning,” May interrupted. I turned and looked at my smoldering piece of sugar.

“Eh? AH!” I quickly pulled the now on fire marshmallow up to my face and blew on it as hard as I could to stifle the blaze. I heard May laugh as I gazed upon my blackened confection. “Aw man.”

“Here.” May offered me her lightly glazed marshmallow. “Trade. I like mine like that.”

“Thanks. Do you want first watch tonight, or should I take it?” I asked as we traded sticks.

“You go first. I know you have a bunch of stuff you usually do with Emilie before you go to bed, so you can do that while you keep an eye on things.” May offered. I nodded.

“Then you should probably get some sleep now, or you’re going to be miserable tomorrow.” May groaned.

“I know you’re right, but I want to stay like this for a bit, if that’s okay.” May leaned into my shoulder again as she bit into her marshmallow. “I’ll crash in a bit.”

‘Hug her, you idiot.’ I heard Emilie shout in my head. ‘Swear to god, you are the most dense-’

‘Shut up.’ I threw an arm around May and pulled her close.

I stared into the fire with her, and the night felt a bit less suffocating than it did before.

“Oi, wake up.” I heard May call out.

“Don’t want to...” I grumbled and turned on my side away from May.

“Apollo?” Wait. What?

‘On it, sorry Cap.’ I felt a cold splash of water nail me in the back.

“Fuck!” I screamed. The sound of laughter filtered to my ears, and I turned to glare at my supposed best friend and my traitor of a Pokémon. “Screw both of you.” I shouted as I started wringing out my shirt.

“Alright, I’m no longer angry with you, thanks Apollo.” She tossed a few cookies his way.

“Really, Apollo? Is that the price of your loyalty?” I glared at my quartermaster, and he looked away.

“Don’t yell at your Pokémon.” May chastised. “Here, I made breakfast, you’ll probably want to change first though. You’re kind of...” May trailed off as she motioned to look down.

I did so and felt my face heat up. My pajamas were apparently not made to get wet at all and were almost completely see through.

“I see you don’t wear a bra to bed,” May pointed out with a grin.

My blush got worse.

“T-Turn around,” I sputtered. Before turning myself and looking through my bag for something else to wear. Maybe a towel too, while I was at it.

“What? Lea, it’s not like-”

“TURN!” I screamed.

May complied, chuckling as she did so.

I found something to dry off with, and I grabbed the clothes I had on yesterday. I changed in what felt like record time. “You’re good.”

“Finally,” May complained.

I glared before snatching up the offered ration bars. “Made breakfast, she says.” I took a bite. “I’m taking first watch from now on. I can at least whip us up something better than this.”

“With what? Are you smuggling a mini fridge and oven set in that backpack of yours.” I blushed. “What, HOW?”

“Okay, not the fridge per se, but... I bought a couple of those little portable stasis pods that President Stone had while we were at the camping shop the other day.” I nervously pushed my fingers together. “And I might have... bought a bunch of groceries before you got up yesterday.”

“I... How much did that cost?” May asked in shock.

“...More then I'm comfortable sharing.” I looked away.

“Lea!” May chastised.

“I still have money. Getting the prize payout for two gym challenges really bolstered my funds. Plus, we didn’t have to get ferry tickets, so I splurged a little.” I kept listing off reasons hoping one of them would curb May’s judgmental stare.

“You couldn’t have told me? I could’ve chipped in with the groceries, at the very least.” May argued. “How am I supposed to even up my meal deficit if you keep buying stuff for us.”

“I got you those ice cream sandwiches that you like?” I said.

“Give.” May’s tone shifted.

I chuckled. “Later. We have to finish our breakfast.” I waved the ration bar around. “Also, can I borrow Sergei? I haven’t called Eve in a while, and she’s... probably starting to get a bit worried about me.”

“You want to make a phone call in the middle of a dangerous forest surrounded by hostile bug Pokémon?” May asked with a glare.

I winced.

“Look, I’ll stay close. I think if yesterday showed us anything, it’s that our Pokémon are a lot better at dealing with the bugs in this forest,” I said with a smirk, trying to sound reassuring. If Emilie was here, she’d probably...

“Where’s Emilie?” I asked, suddenly hyper aware of the lack of weight on my shoulder.

‘Above.’

I whipped my head up and spotted Emilie resting on a tree branch a solid twenty feet in the air.

She looked down at me and waved. ‘Me and Apollo have kind of been taking turns looking out for the big scary flying dragon,’ Emilie explained.

‘Emilie, I doubt very seriously someone with a Salamence gives three fucks about us, and she sure as hell doesn’t have to get the drop on us. Why-’

‘It made me feel better, alright!?’ Emilie shouted in my head.

I sagged as I realized that May wasn’t the only one spooked. 'Thanks,’ I replied.

Emilie nodded once before teleporting down to her usual seat. Apollo perched on the other shoulder.

“Joern’s back in his ball, probably taking a nap, Suzy is being a fiery terror to anything that wants to get close to our camp, and Leshy is in my tent with Samie, attempting to help him learn words.” May explained.

I snorted. “How’s that going?”

May shook her head.

“The highlight reel on Sergei is fantastic,” May explained with a laugh.

“I’m sure it is, I’ll watch it later. At any rate, the whole squad’s here, the bugs have been leaving us alone, I’m calling my sister. I’m sure she’s worried by this point, I haven't called her in days,” I said.

May winced.

“What?” I asked.

“I uh... you kind of reminded me that I haven’t called home in a while.” May blushed.

“How long is a while?” I asked.

“I haven’t talked with my family since we left the second time with Wally,” May admitted.

“May!” I chastised.

“I got sidetracked, okay?” she said. “The city was really fun and exciting and I kind of just... forgot.” I sighed before grabbing Sergei, and the phone buzzed in my hand as I looked down. A series of notifications popped up and were cleared before I could read them.

“Sergei?” I asked, my tone worried. “You alright, bud?”

I got a thumbs up back in response. Alright then. I pulled up Eve’s number from contacts and pressed the call button. It rang a few times before the line clicked.

“You can’t do anything normal, can you?” came through the line as soon as I connected.

“Hello Sis. How have you been? I’ve been doing great, thanks for asking,” I deadpanned.

“I’ve been exhausted. Answer the question,” Eve growled into the phone.

“I don’t know what the question is referring to,” I whined.

“Your gym battle!” Eve shouted.

I leaned back, surprised. “How the hell do you know about my gym battle?” I asked.

“Your vi—o?”

For the first time, ever, Sergei’s line got choppy. I looked down at Sergei as the line went dead.

“Dropped call.” I read off. Three dots appeared next to Sergei’s name in Messenger.

“Reception is ass around here, huh?” Sergei asked.

“Sergei, your plan is universal.” May said, narrowing her eyes. “You don’t drop calls.”

Another ping echoed through the campsite. I noticed a Poketube icon pop up in Sergei’s notification bar before immediately disappearing.

“Sergei?” I asked slowly. “What did you do?”

My eyes narrowed at the phone. A message popped up in messenger under Sergei.

“I... might have accidentally uploaded a video to Poketube.” I read aloud, before leaning back and looking at May.

She came around and looked at the phone with me. “To May’s official... I have an official account?” May asked.

Was it possible for a phone blush?

“You do now.” I replied. I closed out of messenger and booted up the Poketube app. A wall of notifications popped up. “Holy shit.” I couldn’t click through them fast enough! There was just a massive fucking wall of prompts telling me that someone had liked or commented on May’s video. “Sergei, could I get a little help here?” I asked.

The notifications started disappearing in quick succession and I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked at the front page. My eyes widened as I took in the sight in front of me.

“May Maple is trending,” I read off.

“Sergei, what the fuck did you do!?” May shouted.

A single video was posted to May’s channel, and it was popular. It already had several thousand views attached to it, as well as a number of comments. I clicked on the video and...

Wait, this was my Gym Battle!

“Sergei!” I shouted. “What the hell? How do you blow up May’s account with MY video!?”

Sergei blushed as May leaned back against one of the trees and slid down.

“Oh, Legends Above it wasn’t mine, thank fuck,” May muttered.

I glared at her.

“Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t do anything. Yell at the possessed piece of tech in your hands,” May said.

Sergei’s screen was black.

“Sergei, get back here, I’m not done with you,” I yelled. The screen eventually lit back up when Sergei realized I wasn’t going to do anything until he talked.

“Start with the May Maple Official Channel,” May shouted from her spot in front of the tree.

“Alright, look. I get bored when you two don’t use me, so... I made an account on Poketube using May’s email. Poketube verified it all on its own.” Sergei sent out via messenger. “As for the video... I really liked the videos of your gym battles, so... I kind of just made up mock Poketube videos using them. I thought it would be fun, I didn’t... mean for one of them to get uploaded.”

How can you ramble in a fucking text message?

“But you uploaded one,” I pointed out. A small spark came out of the top of the phone, and I almost dropped it.

“You’re going to laugh...” May read for me, glaring down at the phone.

“May accidentally hit the upload button when she grabbed me out of... her... bag.” I turned to glare at my best friend.

“Don’t look at me like that, this isn’t my fault!” May shouted.

I took a deep breath through my nose and exhaled from my mouth. “I’m not mad,” I said.

‘Tauros shit.’ Emilie said in my mind.

“Okay, I’m a little mad. It’s mostly that this got done without anyone telling me. That said...” I brought the video back up. “I suppose there are worse things than being internet famous. Kinda sucks that my name is attached to MAY of all people, though.”

“That is probably the only reason you got views,” May pointed out.

“Your words are hurtful.” I pouted. “Where’s May’s video on here? I kind of want to see what you made up.” I asked Sergei.

May was suddenly right next to me, trying to take Sergei back. “Lea, give me the phone,” she ordered.

“What, you don’t want to see the title and description that Sergei made up for you?” I asked. I kept a grip on the phone as she glared at me, and her hand slid around on the touch screen a bit as she fought for the phone.

“Lea, let-”

Bing.

We both stopped and looked at the screen.

“Video upload starting.” I read off.

May stared at the screen in hatred as I doubled over and started laughing.

“Delete, delete, delete, why won’t it let me delete!?” May shouted as she pounded away on Sergei’s touch screen.

“May, it’s Poketube,” I said between laughs. “The program’s been held together by spaghetti code and prayer for YEARS. The delete video option hasn’t worked in months.” I choked out the last bit as May pulled me up and started shaking me again.

“This isn’t something you should be laughing about!” she shouted in my face.

I felt a bit nauseous once May stopped, and I steadied myself against a nearby tree.

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll be good, I swear. No laughing matter here.” Both weights had disappeared from my shoulders, and I looked around. Apollo was perched on a tree above us, but Emilie.

‘I... don’t feel so good.’ Emilie was down below. Leaning against May’s leg and looking more green than usual.

For the second time since I met her, Emilie threw up on a pair of shoes.

“Oh yuck, Emilie, what the hell,” May shouted as she backed away from my starter.

I took solace in the fact that this time, they weren’t mine.

“...so did you at least enjoy the battle?” I asked.

Eve chuckled tiredly from the other end of the line. “You were great. I had to watch it in chunks between timers, and I was always sad to leave.” Eve sighed through the line. “Sorry, I’m just... really tired. I’m really happy you called though. We’ve gotten quite a few orders from Rustboro recently, you know?”

“Really, my cookie campaign paid off?” I asked excitedly.

“It did, we have a standing order from the Rustboro gym,” Eve explained. “Kind of impressive when you think about all the bakeries in Rustboro. Those cookies you handed out must have been incredible.”

I felt my cheeks flush at Eve’s praise.

“Norman’s letting us use his gym’s barrier setter to run deliveries right now. I’m hoping we can get something of our own fairly soon, though. That poor Kadabra had to make so many trips.” A loud yawn sounded over the phone. “Sorry, again,” Eve said.

“Has the Rustboro order put that much strain on you?” I asked, concern creeping into my voice.

“Nah, that order is easy. Just a bunch of cookies. It’s this cruise liner order we just finished. Apparently, we were recommended by the Dewford gym leader of all people. Still don’t know how the hell that happened, Roxanne must have talked us up to her coworkers or something. We got an order placed for a crap ton of cakes, cookies, pastries, and whatever else I’m not thinking of now. The order was last minute too.” Eve yawned into the phone again. “I'm wiped, but it’s over and done with. It just shipped out, and I'm ready to pass out.”

“Eve it’s morning.” I said blankly.

“Is it? Fuck. It is. Dammit. I’m so tired.” She also sounded kind of out of it.

“Eve, after we finish talking, close the damn store, go home, and sleep,” I ordered.

“But-”

“No buts.” I stood firm.

“Fine...” Eve grumbled.

I paused as I thought about what she had said. “Did you say it was a cruise, is it sailing out today?”

“Yeah, from the port just south of the forest, why?”

Huh, small world.

“May and I got cruise tickets from our friend Wally. We're riding to Dewford in style, and apparently, I get to enjoy your cooking while we travel.” Score. Eve’s food was always great. I can’t wait to raid the donut supply.

“So... you’re probably going on the cruise I catered for?” Eve asked.

“Yeeeess. Why?” I asked back.

“Lea, is there something you maybe want to share with me?” Eve asked, this time more serious.

“Not that I can think of. The badge was the only major thing to happen in recent memory.” Eve doesn’t say anything over the line for a while, and I get a bit worried that Sergei dropped the call again.

“Lea, I want you to know that whatever you decide in life, I support you, okay,” Eve said, her tone quiet.

Huh, that’s sudden, but also nice to hear.

“Thanks, though I'm a bit confused. I appreciate it,” I said.

“You’re completely clueless, aren’t you. You know what, forget I said anything.” Eve said, giggling into the transceiver.

“O...kay. I’m starting to get worried.”

“It’s nothing, I just want you and May with no one else to enjoy your cruise alone together.” Eve rushed out. “Have fun, Bye.”

“Eve, wai-”

Click. I looked at the phone before slowly turning to look at Emilie.

“That’s not a good sign, is it?” I asked.

Emilie shrugged.

“So, we’re killing Wally the next time we see him, right?” May asked as she stared up at the banner.

“Painfully.” I confirmed. Eve’s earlier commentary made a lot more sense now.

‘Welcome to the Luvdisc Couple’s Cruise’ was displayed in proud pink lettering over the dock that led to our ride.