ALL NOVEL chapter 9
9. Keep it up, the villain who looks like an uncle
“How could you…”
The interviewing priest turned pale, almost falling on his backside from shock! It took him a great effort to swallow back the words, “How did you know that?”
“What… what nonsense are you spouting now!?”
“Since this bit player can buzz in with an answer, why can’t I?”
I chuckled softly, looking at the interviewer’s priest whose face was already sweating profusely with guilt.
As me, who has crossed over to become Ogelid, the only ability that could barely be considered a “golden finger” is: knowing the script. Although with my given strength, even knowing the script, I still can’t beat them, but…
As long as the situation remains at the level of “verbal sparring without action,” I have nothing to fear. Not only do I know the general plot of the script, but as long as I actively look at the “script,” I can know everything about the people I encounter, not to mention what color underwear they are wearing today, even where their ancestors’ graves are buried.
So, whatever interview questions the bit player and the interviewing priest had conspired on beforehand, for me, wanting to know is just a piece of cake.
Now, only I, the interviewing priest, and the bit player along with his lackeys are left in the church, and I quickly saw the script for what’s coming next in this situation!
[Ogelid, for revealing the bit player’s secret of bribing the priest, was tied up in a sack by the bit player’s group and drowned in the river!]
Sure enough, another fancy death ending has come!
By myself, of course, I can’t change Ogelid’s fancy death ending as the big villain, so… I must think of every possible way to cling to the protagonist Kefir’s coattails!
And now I must get the priest’s qualification certificate, I need to stall for time at this moment!
“Because you wanted to get a priest’s qualification certificate immediately, you gave this interviewer quite a bribe, right, Lord Bit Player?”
Before the bit player could have any thoughts about me, I took the lead and scared him with the absolute truth!
“You say you gave it, so why keep a ledger? Why do villains always like to dig their own graves?”
“You! You just wait… Hey! Get back here!”
The bit player, about to summon his underlings, suddenly turned pale and, without bothering to catch me and drown me in a sack in the river, immediately ran out of the church with his lackeys, presumably to find his “ledger.”
The dangerous atmosphere of my own making vanished in an instant, and now only the interviewing priest remained, staring at me with a look of wanting to kill me, yet having lost the nerve because of what I had just said.
“Interviewer, he ran off, and the score is now 3:2, so this qualification certificate should be mine, right? Can I have it? I need it urgently.”
To be honest, I don’t have much use for this broken card, it’s just to have a reason to cling to Kefir’s coattails, and I’d even give it back to that bit player afterward if he wants.
However, the fat priest doesn’t understand my thinking. After calming down, he angrily gestured a middle finger at me.
“Lid, you’re in trouble, big trouble!”
“Oh. (Indifferent)”
Is being targeted by a local snake considered a big deal? When I was the big villain and scamming around, I was even chased by the entire Holy Knights, why would I panic? I’m as steady as an old dog.
“That bit player just now is the only son of the lord of this city! If it weren’t for the church’s requirement for an interview for the qualification certificate, I would have sent it to his mansion long ago! This is not for someone like you, a nobody!”
The fat priest’s face shook with excitement, “Now look at you, daring to compete with him for the qualification certificate? Do you want to die!?”
“I know, I know, I even know what color underwear he’s wearing, so are you going to give me the qualification certificate or not?”
“Qualification certificate? Hmph!”
The priest in front of me snorted with a laugh, “You’re about to lose your life and you still want the certificate? Better confess who told you about the bit player coming to me, then kneel down and beg for his forgiveness, maybe you can save half your life. Otherwise, be smart and pack up your things and flee the city, you have no money or power and still dare to play dirty tricks, wanting a qualification certificate? Pah!”
The fat priest spat a thick phlegm…
Right beside a pair of black boots.
“Hey? So in the territories of the Great Ying Empire, one needs status and position to interview for a priest, huh?”
“Cut! So what if I admit it!? The rare title of a priest is not something you commoners can… uh…”
The chubby priest’s speech halted abruptly as his haughty gaze drifted towards me.
What’s wrong, Uncle Priest? The sweat that had just broken out on your face in excitement has retracted, and your face has turned green. Are you about to breathe your last? Should I call an ambulance for you?
“This… this… this… *cough cough cough*… *cough cough cough*! You… you are…”
Of course, I knew why he was suddenly scared out of his wits.
It was Kefir’s arrival!
A pleasant fragrance wafted by, followed by a familiar figure passing by and confronting the priest, forcibly taking the qualification certificate from his trembling hands.
Unlike the previous extras, the chubby priest clearly recognized Kefir, now gasping for air as if he was about to expire!
As for Kefir, she didn’t even acknowledge him, instead focusing on me with the certificate in hand.
“Oh… Lide, I’ve just arrived. Did you say you passed the audition?”
The audition was rigged from the start, but I might as well have made full use of my “priestly talent,” predicting a few questions and scoring a 3:2. It’s fair to say I passed the audition without issue.
“Yes, I won. So…”
“I won’t go back on my word. So, this official priest qualification certificate of the Great Ying Empire is now yours. And from today onwards, you are also my… personal priest.”
Kefir deliberately drew out her words, she was definitely doing it on purpose, because the priest, who had barely recovered, now clutched his chest and collapsed.
Kefir finally glanced at the priest, but that was all. Her attention was then all on me.
“Let’s go back together then.”
“Yes, yes, yes.”
You’ve let me cling to your coattails, whatever you say goes!
As for some fancy death script? Pfft, with Kefir’s protagonist aura, I fear nothing.
——
I don’t know how much time passed before the chubby priest was slapped awake by his attendants, gasping for air.
“Lord Priest! It seems that man and his accomplice have stolen the qualification certificate! What should we do? Shall we notify the town guard to arrest them!?”
“Arrest your head!”
The chubby priest slapped his attendant on the head, “Hurry up and tally the money that extra gave us, pay back whatever was spent, to the last penny! Tell him I can’t give him the certificate, it’s all official business!”
“Why though?”
“Ask your big-headed ghost! Go now!”
The chubby priest’s roar sent the attendant scurrying away.
How could he ask such a question!? Damn it, in his wildest dreams, he couldn’t have imagined that the kid named Lide was getting the certificate to become “that person’s” private priest. Thank goodness he had been to the royal capital before and had seen her from afar beside the queen, or else he would have been in big trouble!
But to say that even the lord’s son, the extra, would be kicked out even with a broken certificate, how come it sounded like the two of them were going to live together…
Wasn’t it said that the young miss was so stunningly beautiful and powerful that ordinary men wouldn’t even catch her eye?
Recalling how that kid eerily preempted the questions only Longtao’er and I knew, and even spoke of Longtao’er’s ledger which I was unaware of…
The chubby priest shuddered all over, instantly calming down, not daring to think further, hastily wiping sweat, preparing to deal with Longtao’er’s difficulty.