I, the Female Lead, Ruined the Original

* * *

It was in Selleana’s room. Perhaps due to the fever, the room’s owner was grimacing and moaning in discomfort.

Sitting by her bedside, Rakrensius recalled the events of just before.

Yesterday, he received a letter from Duke Elard requesting a meeting. Rakrensius did not hesitate to reply that he would visit the duchy himself. Not that he didn’t harbor a secret hope of seeing Selleana if she had awakened by then…

Despite having immediately taken her out of the water and taken measures to prevent her body temperature from dropping, it turned into a fever that left her in a coma for days. There must have been a flaw in his response.

Thus, Rakrensius visited the duchy with a deep sense of guilt and a resolve to face any resentments. He was unaware that the Elard were extremely grateful for rescuing their lark.

After all the worrying, the sight of Selleana he was confronted with was…

Her face flushed with fever. Her black hair is sticking to her forehead due to sweat.

Rakrensius extended his hand to cast a small spell. A coolness settled over Selleana’s forehead.

According to the duke, even after trying all sorts of treatments when she fell into the water before, it took days for her consciousness to return.

Was it because of his magic? Seeing Selleana’s face looking somewhat more comfortable, Rakrensius swallowed the turmoil in his heart.

It was the day after the hunting competition while wandering the hunting ground with his fellow Magic Tower members. Suddenly, Selleana’s call signal rang out, and Rakrensius immediately cast a teleportation spell. There was no time to calmly hand over his equipment or explain. Only his bow and quiver must have fallen from mid-air.

Over time, Selleana had summoned him with all sorts of excuses, but Rakrensius, while grumbling verbally, always gladly complied. Initially, out of concern, later because he was glad to see Selleana by any means, and recently, he liked the feeling that he was responsible for Selleana’s safety. But this was a hunting competition, and even though lethal weapons were not used, there would be countless variables in outdoor activities… As thoughts branched out, anxiety swelled up.

“Lady!”

The scene that immediately unfolded made Rakrensius’s heart drop. Selleana drowning, struggling weakly without managing to tread water, her black hair undulating on the surface…

Was it then that all color drained from his body? Before he knew it, Rakrensius had already jumped into the lake. It was an action taken before he even thought. He later realized that it would have been simpler to use magic.

After lifting Selleana to shore, he wrapped her in the robe he had taken off before diving.

“Lady, Lady…!”

In those few seconds when Selleana’s eyelids didn’t open, it felt as though his soul had sunk into an abyss of despair. His trembling hand desperately caressed Selleana’s cheek. After an eternity, when amber eyes finally appeared between the slowly opening eyelids.

“Are you alright?”

“…

.”

The fluttering of those eyelashes always seemed to tickle the depths of his heart, but while observing that movement, Rakrensius realized. It wasn’t the eyelashes that touched his heart, but the eyes looking up at him beneath them. In fact, his heart had been captured by those eyes long ago. The realization was instant, and an indescribable sorrow washed over him.

Selleana looked at him and smiled brightly. Despite the recent danger, she smiled as if now that she was conscious, she could charm anyone.

“…Why are you smiling?”

It was an attack he couldn’t defend against, and Rakrensius was rendered defenseless, unable to manage his own expression. The fear that Selleana might have been harmed, the relief that he arrived in time, the ecstasy from her smile, the shock of realizing he couldn’t live without her, his resentment towards his fate… Numerous emotions, too complex to name, swirled beyond his eyes.

“Look. With a face like that… How can you say you don’t like me?”

Selleana weakly grasped his hand, and he, burying his face in it, cried without tears. Instead, the sorrow that flowed filled his heart, causing a lump in his throat.

His life was already bound to those eyes, thinking of an unreachable happiness. Knowing this overwhelming feeling, he would never forget it for a lifetime.

Unlike what he calmly told the duke earlier, Rakrensius couldn’t remember how he managed the scene afterward. First, he dried Selleana’s body, then dealt with those who might have caused her to fall into the water.

Casting a kind of mental confusion spell on them wasn’t difficult. They would remember that someone else rescued Selleana or that Selleana escaped the water on her own. It didn’t matter if their stories didn’t match. They wouldn’t be foolish enough to publicize the incident.

After that, he took Selleana to the Elard’s camp and returned to the hunting ground.

“Master of Tower? Why do you look like a drowned rat?”

“…

.”

It was only then that Rakrensius came to his senses as the wizards looked at him with curious eyes. Afterward, Rakrensius completed the hunting competition as planned, even having a brief conversation with his father…

Anyway, from the moment he saved Selleana, his thoughts were preoccupied with her, making it difficult to fully concentrate on anything else. He had loved her for a long time.

When Rakrensius saw the girl screaming in the imperial garden, he simply thought it was funny that a doll-like child was making such a racket. For a boy confined to the imperial palace, the outside world was full of interesting things. But after meeting that girl again in the Benichi teahouse, after locking eyes with those wide-open pumpkin-colored eyes… his world was turned upside down. The longing during their separation nurtured his affection… and he quickly gave up when he realized the burdens each of them carried. Or, at least, he tried to…

There was a time when he even blamed Selleana. Why did she stir him up with talk of fate, of liking him, of love at first sight?

She, who lacked nothing in the world, became the tyrant of his heart, stealing even the chance to sort out his feelings. But he realized everything in that abyss, thinking Selleana’s eyes might never open again. That this feeling would never fade.

The moment their eyes first met, a brand was seared into his heart, marking a destined fate. And now, in front of Selleana’s bed, Rakrensius buried his face in his hands, unable to touch anything of Selleana’s.

“Lady…”

A sigh, almost like a sob, soaked into his palms.

“I’m sorry. It must be because of me. If only I hadn’t gotten involved with the lady, this wouldn’t have happened…”

The guilt that had bound Rakrensius for the past few days once again took hold of his consciousness.

If only he had been more stringent with Selleana.

If only he had rejected the requests more firmly.

If he hadn’t indulged in the foolish act of agreeing to meet ‘Lea Kim’ again.

If he hadn’t succumbed to her temptation that day…

Rakrensius was accustomed to enduring and giving up, but everything went awry because of the one time he followed an impulse. He had harmed an angel. It was wrong from the start to even entertain the thought of harboring feelings for an angel. Yet, there was no will of his own in any of it…

Rakrensius buried his face in his hands and breathed heavily for a while in a silent sob. Then it happened.

“…No.”

“Lady?”

Suddenly sensing her presence, Rakrensius hurriedly looked up.

“No, don’t… don’t…”

“Lady!”

Whether she was battling a nightmare, with deep furrows formed between her brows, Selleana was weakly thrashing about.

Rakrensius quickly sat up and taped Selleana’s cheek like he had done by the lakeside days ago. “Lady? Can you hear me?”

“No, don’t… I hate it… I hate it…”

“Lady.”

“…

!” Suddenly, her eyelids flicked open, revealing amber eyes.

Rakrensius’s heart clenched tightly.