I, the Female Lead, Ruined the Original

It was inside Selleana’s nightmare, after uttering a vow completely different from her memory to go through with the selection process.

<I will… somehow find a way, whether with Doli or Nesia.>

Michi, as always, supported her.

<Is it better not to tell your parents?>

<Wouldn’t it be serious if they knew… Let’s try to handle it among ourselves first. Whether by switching the bible or bribing the temple, there must be a way.>

<Right… Michi, this is really just between us, okay?>

<Of course, don’t worry.>

Time rewinds again. It was the night at the Arnem Hotel’s rooftop garden.

“…

, what have I done… I’m sorry, Sir.”

In the midst of an impulsive kiss, Selleana left him without a second thought. Rewinding again…

“

, my apologies.”

Although she fell while teaching Collin to dance, she quickly got back up.

<Just kidding. You don’t need to know social dancing.>

When Collin said he hadn’t learned to dance, she didn’t insist on teaching him unnecessarily.

<You also have a good memory. Thank you?>

Instead of downing the martini, Collin brought in one gulp, and she chose to talk inside rather than go for a walk in the garden.

<

, you’re a fan of Wilshe. Nice to meet you.>

Even though she found out Collin was a reader of Wilshe too, she didn’t overly express excitement.

<Manager? Please guide this guest to the banquet hall.>

She didn’t guide Collin personally. She didn’t make excuses for his sword. Though she verified his graceful appearance from afar, she didn’t intervene.

She didn’t send an invitation to Wilshe. The victory banquet was held as an ordinary ball, not a masquerade ball.

She didn’t show interest in Wilshe’s book, met Pavellian earnestly, and maintained a proper distance from the transmigration club friends. She didn’t save Michi, didn’t place ads to find other transmigrators, didn’t meet Doloret, didn’t recognize Rosalli at her twelfth birthday party, and… didn’t remember her past life.

As if not remembering her past life was the root of all errors, space and time stopped just before ten-year-old Selleana was about to fall into the lake. Everything in her vision started to follow the flow of time again.

Selleana, who obediently and diligently attended her tutors’ lessons. Selleana, who eagerly awaited her tea party with Pavellian. Selleana, who enjoyed formal reading gatherings and tea parties with ladies of familiar houses.

It felt like the foundation of her life was shaken from the start. She did not meet the transmigrator club friends, did not know the loopholes of this world, and did not know what she truly liked. Loved by everyone in society and eventually being selected as the crown princess…

And thus, living the life of the crown princess just like in the original work.

Then, there was a surrounding light, as if refusing to show her the life she chose not to follow, filling her vision with bright white. Letting herself be enveloped by the light brought a refreshing feeling…

“…

!”

What came into view was a familiar ceiling. And in the middle of it, the face of a man looking down at her with concern… Long hair flowing down, brows narrowed in concern, blue eyes shining with earnestness, silver hair tied back loosely…

Throughout Selleana’s journey through the nightmare, this figure did not appear even once. The person Selleana first truly liked was her ‘real’ self. A sign that she possessed both the memories of her past and current lives.

“Master of Tower…!”

Where did she find the strength? Selleana immediately embraced Rakrensius’s neck. Tears welled up instantly. The name of her tears was a relief.

“I-I was really… really scared…”

“…Lady.”

“Really, I… tho-thought I was becoming someone else.”

“…You had a bad dream.”

“I thought, I thought… I will never see Master of Tower again.”

“…”

Sobbing broke out of her uncontrollably.

Startled by the sudden embrace, the man’s hands, which had frozen in mid-air, finally gently settled on Selleana, stroking her head and her back slowly.

“It’s okay now, everything is okay…” The man’s low voice wrapped around Selleana’s ear. His words slowed her racing heart.

Selleana’s sobbing gradually subsided until only sniffles remained. Once the shaking of her shoulders calmed, Rakrensius slowly separated Selleana from his embrace.

What shone in the amber-colored eyes that finally met him was blind trust. The usual easy-going confidence and smugness were absent; instead, they clung to him as if they couldn’t bear to part for even a moment.

His heart raced. It was as if Selleana’s feelings were his own, so deep and heavy. As if they were genuine.

Rakrensius bit down on the inside of his mouth.

“…Lady.” The man’s voice sounded pained. His hand slowly swept across Selleana’s forehead, tidying the hair matted down by sweat. Her ears were still hot from the fever.

“Is not seeing me again… such a scary thing for Lady?” His voice seemed to suppress some rising emotion.

Selleana, with a pained look on his face, slowly nodded. “You can’t even imagine… what kind of dream I had.”

“Lady.” Rakrensius straightened up as if distancing himself. “First of all, I’m sorry.”

“…Why all of a sudden…?”

“It must be because of me that Lady encountered such an incident.”

“Why would that be…?” Selleana’s eyebrows fell in a smooth arc. Despite being overjoyed at seeing him after her nightmare, he was drawing lines again.

Her last memory belatedly returned.

“Master of Tower was the one who saved me, and you were the one who took me to my mother, weren’t you?”

“…”

“Why would someone who deserves thanks apologize?”

Rakrensius’s eyes slightly drooped. Searching for where to start, his eyes deepened beyond the silver eyelashes.

“The people who caused Lady to fall into the water. Weren’t they the ones who caused trouble at the bazaar?”

“

… right. How did Master of Tower know that…?”

“I saw it.”

“What?”

“…I waited a bit long for Lady that day.”

That day.

The day of the bazaar.

Suddenly, as if the haziness of her dream had cleared, her vision became clear. Facing her gaze, Rakrensius seemed to have made a decisive resolve. An expression as if he would accept any judgment with a calm look in his eyes.

Just as Selleana was about to speak with a slight smile on her lips.

“I learned that those families belong… to the Empress’s faction.”

“

, that’s true.”

“So, what I mean is,” Rakrensius, struggling to find the words, finally spoke. “Since it became known that Lady is entangled with me, the imperial family—”

“Master of Tower.” Selleana leaned in, bringing her face close to his. “Those people have always been like that.”

“…”

“The first banquet I attended after giving up participating in the selection was His Majesty’s birthday celebration, and they were like that from that day.”

“But I also attended it, didn’t I?”

“We didn’t acknowledge each other inside the banquet hall, did we?”

“…”

“Those families have always been at odds with Elard. They expected the imperial family to become closer to the temple after the priestess became the empress, but our side has always blocked unnecessary interference.” Selleana added, looking up at him earnestly, “You probably knew that already.”

“Even though they behaved as if they expected me to become the crown princess, they switched sides too quickly.”

“So, about that quick shift in stance.”

“This is the first time I’ve shown up with Master of Tower. The first time my father talked to His Majesty about my fuss about marrying Master of Tower was after the bazaar. So, it has nothing to do with you, right?”

“No, Lady. That’s not it…” Caught under Selleana’s gaze, Rakrensius’s words faltered, sounding almost like a groan. “It doesn’t work that way.”

“Then what is it?” Selleana’s brows narrowed, clearly upset. “Are you going to keep it from me again?”

“…”

“Acting like you have some secret reason as if I wouldn’t understand your concerns. You’ve always been like that, Master of Tower.”

“It’s not like that.”

 “Then what is it?”

Rakrensius faced Selleana’s sharp gaze, a faint tremor spreading across his face. His eyes flickered slightly, dry, but Selleana thought he was on the verge of tears. Why?

“I…” His adam’s apple moved up and down greatly, and his slow voice flowed out. “I have taken an oath long ago.”

Selleana’s fierce gaze softened slightly at his unexpected words. It was a completely different story from the refusals Rakrensius had recited until now.

“I vowed to not covet anything, not to hold anything dear.”

“So, why…”

“If I tell you the reason, I’m afraid you might be in greater danger than now. That’s why I’m scared.”

“It’s just the two of us here.”

“But I don’t want to lie to you anymore…”

With difficulty, Rakrensius placed his hands on Selleana’s shoulders. He gently pushed her away to create some distance.

“I’m tired of making excuses I don’t mean, and it’s painful to upset you with things you don’t want to hear.”

He lowered his head to meet her gaze, looking almost as if he was pleading.

“What should I do… with myself like this?”