I Won’t Accept Your Regrets

“I can't believe you went to the Palace… Did His Majesty call the Crown Prince?"

"No. The Crown Prince suddenly went to the Sun Palace, told us that he wanted to see His Majesty."

"Prince?"

Carlisle came out first. It was hard to believe, but it seemed to be true.

Because the maid wouldn't lie.

“His Majesty… He is very busy, isn’t he?”

“Mom, when is His Majesty free?”

“So the Emperor won't come today?”

Suddenly, the questions that Carlisle had rarely asked came to my mind.

“…Was it since then?”

After the day he played with Raymond and sprained his ankle, he often reminded me of the Emperor.

Until then, he had not uttered a word about Raymond.

‘Did you lose your reserves against Raymond while playing with him that day?'

Now I can't even guess what Carlisle is thinking.

I was still standing in front of the Empress's palace upon hearing the unexpected news.

"I will go to the Sun Palace."

* * *

"His Majesty and the Crown Prince are having dinner in the dining room."

In front of the door to the familiar dining room, I stopped for a moment.

My last memory of this place wasn’t very good.

Here I said goodbye to Raymond.

The dining room door swung open, and a kitchen page appeared with an empty tray.

The servant left, and the butler tried to report my arrival.

At this time, Carlisle's voice rang out through the open door.

"I was curious. Why couldn't my father and I live together…?”

I raised my hand to silence the butler.

Telling the butler to leave, I silently stepped back from the door.

All this, just to hear what was hidden there, in Carlisle's head.

"My mom says my dad was too busy doing something very important to live with us… I know it's a lie," Carlisle's voice hit me right in the heart. "The fathers of my friends came home at least once every few months, no matter how busy they were… But I had never even seen my father before."

"That is…"

“And when my mother told me about my father, I was so sad. I knew that even if I waited, my father wouldn’t come. But I was curious. My father left because he didn't like me or my mom…”

I knew that he was more mature and quick to feel than his peers. However, I didn’t know that his thoughts had taken him that far.

I thought that this would be better for Carlisle, but the boy never agreed. Maybe I left him too big a scar.

Now I feel like there is a heavy stone on my chest.

"No way. It was definitely not so. I couldn’t come because…"

I heard Raymond's insistent voice. I felt that he was excited by what he heard.

When I was about to step inside, a low, choked voice rang out:

“I couldn't go to your mom to find you… It's all because I hurt her. I made a very big mistake and couldn’t come."

"A mistake?"

"…Yes. So don't ever think it's because I hate mom and you. This is my fault."

"Well, so, and now you are reconciled with my mom?”

Raymond's answer came belatedly.

"Your mom will take time to forgive me. And I'll wait until your mom's heart is at least a little more comfortable."

"How difficult everything is with you,” I heard Carlisle's displeased groan.

I gathered my courage, opened the door and entered.

"Carlisle."

"Mom?!"

Is it because I called him by his name after so long? Carlisle suddenly jumped up from his seat and ran towards me, as he used to.

"You were eating… Go ahead, sit down."

"Let's eat together, mom."

Carlisle said relaxedly. Indeed, lately he has been treated with emphatic seriousness, but now he has received indulgence.

"And more… How about having dinner together later?"

Raymond's cautious voice was heard.

Looking up, I saw that unsightly tense face.

He was afraid that I would say no.

Of course, I didn't want to have dinner with him. I came here with one thought that I need to pick up Carlisle.

However, what I overheard pushed me to strange thoughts.

He was so sincere when he said that our separation was his fault.

His guilt before Carlisle was worth more to me than any of his regrets.

"Okay. Let's eat together."

Others will find it strange if I take Carlisle from one dining room and straight to another.

I sat down across from Raymond, thinking this to myself.

The servants quickly arranged new dishes.

It was all Carlisle's favorite food, as if it were a selection.

"Mom, this is so delicious," Carlisle said, pointing to a plate of smoked duck meat.

"Really? I'll have to try, if you say so."

Avoiding Raymond's gaze, I deliberately feigned interest.

I didn't want to reveal this confusion to him.

And after I pretended everything was okay, an awkward silence fell between me and Raymond.

The harmony of the family meal was only slightly preserved thanks to Carlisle, who chatted incessantly.

* * *

Cough, cough.

An impressive cough echoed through the room.

"Lady…"

A woman's voice rang out, mixed with sobs. Soon after, the middle-aged woman, who was sobbing, turned her gaze and called out to a woman standing by the window.

"Your mother's condition… she…"

Lisa stood at the window, looking at the sunset, and turned to a woman.

The weeping middle-aged woman was the maidservant of Marquis Sios and once her nanny.

And she was now holding the hand of the former Marchioness Sios, breathing heavily.

Lisa said quietly:

"Hillan. Call a doctor."

"Oh, yes."

Hillan hurried out of the room, and Lisa went to her mother, who was lying in bed.

Her mother's face, drooping from a cough mixed with blood, was white as a sheet of paper.

She was initially unhealthy. Now the family fell apart, and her husband was in disgrace. Her condition worsened.

Even though she said to call her a doctor, Lisa knew that there was no hope.

"Lisa…"

Her mother, blinking slowly, called to her. Lisa took her mother's hand, hiding her bitterness.

Sitting down by the bed, she smiled as she took her withered hands.

She was her mother, the one who was always oppressed by an aggressive father who was unfriendly to Lisa, and her mother couldn’t serve as a shield against the tyrant father.

Nevertheless, from youth there are good memories of love on the part of the mother.

‘My mother would have lived a happier life if she hadn't known my father.'

"Mom. I'm here," when Lisa spoke in a low voice with her mother, who was unconscious, her gaze fell on her.

"Lisa, Lisa …"

There was no strength in the trembling voice. But when I saw how anxiously she was calling me, it seemed that she wanted to say something.

‘Do you want to tell me the last will?’

Mother beckoned me to come closer.

"Say something, mother."

"Lisa… From your father… still there is no news?"

Her mother's voice, interrupted by breathlessness, was filled with despair.

Foolishly, her mother still thought that her husband could return to the family.

Marquis Sios has already fallen.

However, there is no need to tell the cruel truth to a dying mother.

"My father will soon return to the capital. His Majesty summoned him again. Dear mother, soon we will be able to live as before."

My lies gave my mother a faint smile.

"Good news. That's a relief. I believed the Marquis would return,” her mother muttered with a joyful face.

Lisa couldn’t squeeze anything out of hreself at such a moment.

But then her mother sighed heavily. And blood spat out.

She vomited blood every day.

And as the blood volumes increased, she intuitively realized that there was little time left.

As she wiped her bloody mouth, her mother held out her hands.

"I dreamed again that Leon was back. Oh, if he was here… I would like to…"

The mother slowly closed her eyes.

Lisa squeezed a bloody scrap of cloth in the darkened room.

‘The title of collapsed family and a vain work.'

And today her worthless position seemed even more painful as she tended her dying mother in an old two-story mansion.

Who would have thought that her life as the mother of the first prince would be so miserable in an instant?

"Ellie…"

It's all because of her.

It's all messed up since her return. Ellie was now content with everything that should belong to Lisa.

Ellie's words were still clear in her memory. Words that said that all this happened because of her stupidity.

It's my fault.

No, it’s not my fault.

This is all Ellie, who was no match for Raymond.

How could she become an Empress when I was supposed to be?

I was just trying to get back what was rightfully mine.

And now I've lost everything?

No, now even my son has lost everything.

Ellie's child took over Edmund's place.

Haha.

She screamed like crazy.

I can't just quietly sink into oblivion just because I lost everything.

I can't forgive him for taking Edmund's place, even if he dies.

I will not let Ellie’s son sit on a throne that doesn’t belong to him.

While Lisa's eyes were burning with fire, a voice was heard from behind the door.

"Milady. The doctor has arrived."

"Ease my mother's pain."

"Yes, my lady."

She ordered the doctor and left the room.

Returning to her room, she washed her bloody hands with water and ordered Lily:

"Lily, do you remember what I said the other day?"

"Yes."

"And besides that… Find out where Leon is now."

"Yes, my lady."

Lily left the room. Lisa stared at the reddened water in a silver tub.