I Won’t Accept Your Regrets

After giving my son some time, I intended to return to Raymond, but I couldn’t. Carlisle didn't let me go.

It turned out to be hard to explain to him why he couldn’t meet with his father right now, and he kicked and resisted.

In the end, I had to go for a walk with Carlisle.

It was already midnight at the moment when he deigned to have dinner and go to bed.

And as soon as Carlisle fell asleep, I went straight to the Sun Palace, to Raymond's bedroom. Arriving at the place, I saw the doctor retreating, as if he had just finished with an examination.

"Herrington, how is His Majesty?"

"I was worried that I would have to wait and see progress for a few days, but his body is recovering faster than I thought. And if you give him a couple of days off, he will soon be able to return to the imperial routine."

Perhaps because Raymond's basic physical strength was extraordinary, unlike Carlisle, he seemed to be recovering quickly.

"That's a relief. You did a great job."

"Then I'll leave you."

The doctor left, and Helen asked me.

"Would you like to sleep here today, Your Majesty?"

It would be nice to be around until tomorrow.

I went up to Raymond and saw all the servants out.

Although he was still unconscious, the doctor's words that he was recovering weren’t a lie. And the color of his face changed to some extent.

I sat down in a chair by the bed.

As I looked at him, many thoughts came into my head.

I called his name quietly.

"Ray…"

‘Can I be by your side? We can be happy?'

All my life I thought that there was no happiness for us… Maybe that was my mistake.

At the moment when I was throwing out questions, to which I couldn't find an answer, a low moan sounded.

"Ughh…!"

"Ray?"

‘It was a moan that he shed.'

I hurried to him, wondering where it hurt.

And when I was about to call all the doctors, his broken voice rang in my ears.

"Ellie…"

As he looked down, his black eyes and my eyes met.

Ray.

He had opened his eyes. I was so surprised that I blinked slowly. I can't believe he's already conscious.

No matter how fast the recovery is, isn't it too fast?

But, if you look at him, his condition was a little strange. It is clear that his eyes were open, but the focus was blurred.

‘Did he regain consciousness for a while due to the medicine?'

I looked down at him.

"…You have to sleep more. You'll be better that way…"

Whispering to him, I pulled the blanket up to his chest so he could go back to sleep. But then he parted her lips. At first, the sound was so small that she couldn't exactly hear it.

Repeatedly, he was saying something.

Is he delusional?

I looked at his lips…

“…Ellie…”

I heard my name.

He opened his eyes weakly and was looking for me now.

“I miss you…”

Some emotion arose the moment I heard a low, desperate voice.

Seeing that he was attracted to me even in such a clouded mind, the tears that I had been holding back all this time suddenly flooded over the edge.

Ever since he went to bed with the poisoning, I have held on to the idea that I should be alert, but in fact, I was just pretending to be calm…

I didn't even know how scared I was to lose him.

"Ray…"

I leaned into him like I was collapsing. With my hand on his broad shoulder and my face on his chest, I shed the tears he had endured.

Raymond missed me in spite of the worry and pain.

It was heartbreaking to see Raymond miss me, despite the anxiety and pain I had tried to ignore at the prospect of losing him.

Crying in Raymond's arms was unimaginable, but I clung to him.

I'm afraid it will disappear somewhere like this.

“Ellie…”

I heard his voice and felt a large hand on my back. He patted me on the back, as if soothing.

" Don't faint in front of me again. Seriously again…"

Lifting my head from his chest, I met his gaze.

Blurred eyes stared at me. It seemed that consciousness is still not very clear.

He nodded slowly in response and closed his eyes. He took in a smooth, regular breath.

After a brief awakening by the energy of the medicine, he fell back asleep.

And my sanity also returned to its place as his hand fell from my back onto the bed.

Threw away the dignity of the Empress and whine here in his arms. No, I can't believe I'm in his arms first.

The latter is more surprising than the former.

No, I will choose to stay here.

"Huf…"

Taking a deep breath and calming my mind, I looked at Raymond, who was sound asleep again.

A smile of satisfaction now hung on his face.

I tried to look away, but I couldn't.

The point is that it has entered my mind again.

“Can I leave you at all?”

Lisa is dead, the Crown Prince's place is stabilized.

I'll have to get ready to leave you if everything is in place now.

But I have a question for myself.

‘Do I really want to leave you?'

At first, when I returned to the Imperial Palace, I had no intention of accepting Raymond no matter what he said or did, because I thought that I would go back to the past if I accepted him. However, looking back now, everything has changed from the past to the present.

Neither my situation nor Raymond's feelings for me.

I was so afraid of being rejected by that I obsessively pushed him away. But wouldn’t it be self-deception to say that the passage in my heart is closed to him?

If I take one more step towards, maybe we can start all over again.

Questions buried deep in my heart made me dizzy.

Now there was only one answer to everything:

‘I do not want to go.'

However, I need a little more time to think. I need time to decide if what I really wanted was to leave or share the future with him.

I may have been carried away by the emotions that have flared up now. But even though I thought so, I couldn't get away from Raymond and stayed awake all night.

* * *

The chirping of birds was already spreading throughout the area. Raymond slowly opened his eyes to the clear sound entering his mind.

Blink blink.

As if it would help wake him up, he blinked slowly several times.

“…Is it a dream?”

He turned his head to the side and fixed his gaze.

Because he saw Ellie sleeping in his bed.

Her silvery hair covered her cheeks, and her eyelashes, like silver threads, fell over her closed eyes.

It was a beauty comparable to starlight.

‘If this is a dream, isn't it too sweet to wake up?’

While he was unconscious, he seemed to have heard Ellie’s crying.

He prayed so many times to see her before he died.

‘Is God fulfilling my dying wish?'

Raymond, who was looking at Ellie asleep, suddenly realized that this moment was too real to be a dream.

The sun was rising in the deep blue sky, and Ellie's breathing sounded like it wasn't a dream at all.

"…This is strange."

If everything was in reality, then why is it so easy for him?

Then he remembered Ellie's face just before he passed out.

He still remembered the last moment.

So, ‘Is it real that Ellie is around now?’

"I didn't want to show her this side of me… I don't want to show her that I'm dying."

‘How long has it been since I collapsed?Was Ellie sleeping like this while he was unconscious?’

Ellie's eyelids fluttered as Raymond's brow narrowed slightly.

Raymond held his breath without realizing it, and Ellie opened her eyes.

She raised her head and looked at him in surprise.

"Ray!"

* * *

"Ellie."

When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see him. I can't believe he's lying against his back in bed. I rushed to check his condition.

"Are you sick? Do you feel any pain or pain in your stomach?” I asked quickly, but Raymond just stared at me.

Looking at me gently without blinking, he seemed to put each and every look on his face into my eyes.

I said first because I couldn't wait for his answer.

"Ray, you came to your senses after three days. Say something. Should I call the doctor from the Imperial Palace?"

Raymond slept deeply for three days after the moment when his consciousness returned in passing.

And I've been by his side all this time.

I spent time with Carlisle during the day, but didn’t leave Raymond at night.

I was worried and couldn’t sleep well.

"…For three whole days… Ellie, you were very surprised, and I'm sorry about that.”

Raymond began with an apology.

He lay unconscious for three days, but worried about me before his own well-being?

“I don’t need your regrets. You are still in this world It's alright now that you're alive. If you had died like that, I really wouldn't have forgiven you."

"…I am alive?” Raymond looked at me wondering what that meant.

Taking the antidote while he was unconscious, he seemed unaware that he was no longer poisoned.

"We made an antidote."

Raymond's eyes widened a little.

“So… I woke up after taking the antidote?”

"Yes, that's right… Ray, why didn't you tell me? You knew my abilities. It was in my power to save that flower, the main ingredient in the antidote. Why the hell didn't you tell me?"