Idol’s Childhood Friend

10 – Thursday, May 3

“Shall we meet at the dorm next time?”

“Anyway, if we get together to practice before going on tour, that’s okay.”

“That’s true too. Ugh, it’s cold.”

6:30.

It’s a very early morning for us in our inactive period.

Even though the distance between Seoul and Pangyo is not far, once it is blocked, it can easily be blocked for two hours, so everyone was ready to go before rush hour.

“Don’t drive drowsy and drive carefully.”

“I’m so scared that I can’t even dream of drowsy driving. Do you know how many foreign cars there are in Yongsan?”

“Serin sister. We’ll be okay… ?”

“Serin, how did you come here…?” .”

Mr. Fujiwara, the passenger, is very worried after seeing the driver, Mr. Kwon, showing a severe loss of confidence.

“Driving is about confidence. “Just feel it!”

“That’s right, sister. Compared to Yongsan, Mina and I are in Mapo and Gangnam, so what’s the problem? “You’re saying I can just leave quickly?”

On the other hand, self-proclaimed racer Kang Min-ah (20 years old; it’s been three months since she got her license) and self-proclaimed best driver Lee Ye-rin (21 years old; hasn’t driven for a year), who don’t know where their confidence comes from.

“… “It might be better to call the managers right now.”

Looking at that face, I can’t help but think that we might meet today through breaking news.

“Hey, go inside and go to sleep. “Just because I prepare you breakfast doesn’t mean I’ll wake up early and feel sleepy.”

“That’s right. “I probably didn’t sleep much because I talked to Serin until late yesterday.”

Serin and May are gesturing and urging us to come in quickly.

“Go in when it’s cold. “We can’t stay here any longer.”

“I am also an adult who knows how to drive a car, right? Just wait and see. “I’m going to take my sisters and drive in a camping car later.”

Yerin and Minah also take the first step, as if telling them to go in quickly. Seeing that, he uncrossed his arms and waved goodbye.

“Go carefully. “Go and leave a message.”

“Don’t yawn and just go in.”

She nods her head slowly at Serin’s urging and turns to walk towards her front door. When she suddenly turned her head again, all the members had already left.

“… “Let’s get some sleep first.”

Her mouth opens wide and she dials the password to her front door.

+++

“… Chaewon, you’ll be okay, right?”

May opened her mouth quietly.

Everyone sighs silently and sympathizes with her question.

“How are you? “Chaewon, do you look okay?”

“My words. First of all, I’ll pretend like nothing’s wrong, you know. The more you try to hide it, the more emotionally cold you become. “I saw you smiling again today, so I thought it was exactly like that.”

The younger brothers’ gaze is directed towards one place. After receiving this, Serin was lost in thought for a while, and then she smiled lightly.

“It looks like you’ll have a hard time for a few days.”

“Ugh… ?”

“That’s right, Chaewon said something that we don’t need to bring up from her perspective. If you say to the person who dumped you, ‘I think the person who dumped you likes you,’ who in the world would believe you? “That’s why he didn’t complain to us.”

“Then what should I do?”

“Is it okay if I leave you like that?”

“… “Would it have been better not to say anything?”

Her younger siblings’ worries A bitter feeling spreads across Serin’s face at her young words and facial expressions.

Serin was the only one who talked to Chaewon until late at night, but that didn’t mean her three younger siblings went to bed early.

They barely fell asleep until after 1 o’clock, feeling guilty that they had said something pointless not once, but twice.

“Don’t worry. “He’s the leader of Ever and he’s the hardest-hearted kid among us.”

Nevertheless, Serin was able to smile in the end.

“I will eventually shake it off and get up. So, don’t think strange thoughts and go home quickly and get some sleep.”

That’s right, because my friend is Han Chae-won.

+++

「Upload D-8」

“Yes. Well, I’ll be there next week, brother. “I’m really, really sorry for contacting you late.”

Suddenly. The tension was relieved as soon as I hung up the phone.

Like water flowing from a creek through a crevice in a stone, strength drains from her body, but due to a habit that has been ingrained in her for a long time, she soon straightens her back and sits upright.

Ha, I sigh to get rid of all the remaining tension in my body. She wasted so much time just staring into space.

“Now there is no place to retreat anymore.”

Suddenly, the Infinite Challenge meme came to mind, and since I had a lot of time, I went to watch Infinite Challenge instead of editing.

+++

「Upload D-7」

“Now there is no place to retreat anymore.”

Follow the meme and enter the study.

Today, I will definitely edit to the planned length.

With a firm resolve, I turn on my MacBook, unlock the password, and bring up the desktop.

“… But why is it so dirty here?”

But what caught my eye was not the two-hour video I was working on, but the dizzying scenery of the study that distracted me.

“I only really clean and edit.”

Unknowingly, cleaning just the study turned into cleaning the entire house.

+++

「Upload D-6」

I was exhausted from the general cleaning and took a break.

+++

「D-5 until upload」

Alumni below.

+++

「Upload D-4」

Meeting friends.

+++

「Upload D-3」

Hangover.

+++

「Upload D-2」

“… “There’s really no place to retreat.”

Late evening. I need to get confirmation from Joohwan oppa right away at 2pm tomorrow, exactly 17 hours later.

I sit down in my chair, clapping my tongue at how quickly time has passed and my laziness.

A neat and tidy study with nothing to worry about. A cell phone switched to do not disturb mode, coffee to overcome drowsiness, and even the forbidden operation of Bae Soo-jin that Nataham had created.

Even if you try to make excuses, you can’t. It’s a perfect situation for editing.

“… “Let’s go, Han Chae-won.”

Put aside your bangs with a hairband so as not to interfere with your vision in the slightest, sit in the chair in the most comfortable position, and place your hand on the mouse.

Click click click. Turn on the desktop and open the folder.

“———I can’t see.”

I can’t bear to turn my hand to the video.

Ha, I sigh and close my eyes tightly.

“I thought I would be able to see it by now…… “

I knock on the table in frustration.

The deadline is just around the corner, but emotions are one step further ahead.

That’s why, even though I know very well that I need to distinguish between public and private things, my heart aches to the point where I’m driving myself crazy.

“Why are you like this, Han Chae-won? You decided not to worry….”

You have to see it.

As that one thought begins to spin around in my head, the distracting thoughts next to it start spinning together like gears.

“I can’t believe I like it. Then you can’t dump me like it’s a joke confession….”

What the members said about Yumin liking me.

“I’m looking forward to it. If you edit hard from now on, you can edit in less than 4 hours….”

Promise to Forever.

“———You know it when you see it. What on earth does that mean? ….”

Then again, the words of the members.

Muttering as if crying, he gently opens his eyes.

A bookshelf that was accidentally reflected in the helpless gaze. Even in that gap, the diary is exceptionally clear.

I pick it up unconsciously.

“… Thursday, May 3rd.”

Then, as if possessed by something, he opens the page where ‘that day’ is recorded.

“It’s crooked….”

The sentences are a mess due to the anticipation of meeting Yumin after a long time.

I smiled and turned to the next page.

『Wasn’t it you?』

I lose my smile when I think back to that day when there was only one sentence written.

Sarak. Turn the page. She flipped through the pages, but until today, there was nothing written in the diary.

I couldn’t write it down. It was natural.

Because I don’t want to remember even a single moment of that day.

“… “For the first time in my life, I’ve been using it consistently until May.”

I stare endlessly at the pure white page with a self-deprecating smile.

If you think about it, it’s you again.

You made so much fun of my resolutions, which always ended in three days, that I ended up writing at least one sentence saying that I would do it this time, and this is the diary.

『Sunday, January 1』

『Be prepared, Kang Yu-min. I will repay the price of calling this sister a slob with interest a year later.』

Look. Doesn’t it remain so clearly here?

I started writing because of you, and I can’t write because of you.

———But I can’t tell you to take responsibility.

“… “If this is the case, it seems like the meaning of my life is all about you.”

I take a deep breath with a helpless laugh.

It’s unfair. Now that you have come here, why can’t you push or pull?

“I’m annoyed.”

I took out a pen.

I turn the page forward and stop at the first blank page.

“Saturday, May 5th. I returned to Korea. I still remember well how I got back home…”

Write it down.

Recover the memories you had avoided facing and accept the reality you cannot deny.

To deny.

I look back on the emotions of that day solely to deny the existence of Kang Yu-min within me.

“…… “Why on earth did I do that?”

It was a day of terrible collapse.

A house with the lights off. I threw my luggage on the front door, washed it in cold water, and struggled to escape the feeling that I couldn’t tell if it was a dream or reality.

I spent the night with my eyes open. There were so many tears that it didn’t sting even when I closed my eyes.

Because I got dumped by my friend of 15 years. It’s just that this situation itself was extremely depressing.

I felt empty, wondering if I was the only one who felt that way toward you, and I hated you for pushing me away……

Yes. I was just extremely depressed.

“Wednesday, May 10th. How dare you kick Han Chae-won? “What are you doing?”

It was a day filled with nothing but anger.

If you’ve learned boxing and jiu-jitsu so far, wouldn’t you be able to do it even if you’ve studied Taekwondo all your life?

While imagining that, I punched the pillow and put on a joint……

It was a day when the words “Comedy” When viewed from afar and “Tragedy” When viewed up close seemed appropriate.

“Friday, May 12th. I can’t think of anything. Wouldn’t this be how we reach nirvana?”

It was a day when my senses were extremely numb.

Iljangchunmong. The 15 years I spent with you felt like a spring dream.

I was surprised that you always acted like it was none of my business, but when I started to no longer relate to it, it wasn’t surprising at all.

Even if we were dumped, our 15-year friendship will continue.

“Wednesday, May 17th. Is it really good to be friends with you? ?”

It was a day when I looked sideways at reality.

Anyway, I was fine with the confession. I thought it was fortunate that I could remain friends with you in the future, but even then, I had doubts.

Even if you don’t mind, I didn’t have the confidence to do so.

But.

“Friday, May 19th. “The members came.”

So what do you want to do?

Serin, who was looking at the night sky in the cold early morning wind, asked indifferently.

But she was Serin, who did not expect an answer. Because I said that the answer to that question could only be found by looking at the video I shot.

You’ll know when you see it.

I actually hated Serin’s confident words like that to the point of heartbreaking at the time.

I wanted to say out of anger, “How much would you know if you knew?”

… Thank god. For not saying anything.

Like that.

“———Friday, May 26th. There are two days left until the vlog is uploaded. “I’ve been writing in my diary for an hour without any plan, without doing the editing I was told to do.”

Finally returned to today.

I think it would be okay to use the word ‘finally.’

‘Now it’ will also suit you.

Anyway.

“I have to do it, edit.”

Percussion-, I let out a shallow breath and close the diary.

After putting the diary back in its original place, I turned my gaze to my MacBook.

「Forever. This is my childhood friend, Yumin, whom there were a lot of rumors about~.”

On the screen, I was smiling brightly.

+++

「D-1 until upload」

“… How is it?”

An office with a pleasant atmosphere.

As summer approaches, the sunlight shines brightly into the office.

The rich scent of coffee and the sweet scent of macaroons harmoniously match, and I look askance at Joohwan oppa, who is concentrating while sitting on the single-seater sofa.

In one hand, the macaron I bought, and in the other, a new tablet PC. It was only after the video was completely finished that Joohwan looked at me.

Hororok-. The sound of Joohwan oppa drinking coffee filled the quiet office.

Clatter-. Only after the mug was placed on the glass table did my brother open his lips.

“Chaewon.”

“Yes.”

“This is absolutely possible.”

My older brother smiles and nods his head in satisfaction.

I am so satisfied that he even gives me a thumbs up, which he says only comes out when he is truly happy, and looks at me with proud eyes.

“———But is this correct?”

However, there were thorns stuck in the words.