Idol’s Childhood Friend

11 – Oh, why can’t I record calls on my iPhone?

That’s what a gale and storm is like.

Even though it is my feeling, it is not like my heart.

They say useless things because they want to get a little bit of attention, they trip someone up to show off how good they are, or they use these people to create a good image.

At that time, we often make mistakes because we do not know how to face our emotions honestly.

I was an aspiring idol.

It wasn’t something that was publicly known, much less said out loud that I was an aspirant, but since the school is such a small society, most people only knew about it.

The moment you dream of becoming an idol, you have to be careful about your every move.

You must be ready to smile brightly at any time, be careful not to make enemies, and not make mistakes even in small things.

Luckily, there were only good people around me, and I didn’t get hurt by most things, so I didn’t get in trouble.

Rather, the moments when I was pushed to my limits and practiced at work were more difficult and stressful for me.

Yumin was always the one who accepted that stress.

+++

“You probably know what the problem is.”

Joohwan oppa sips a strong Americano like water. He strokes his beard with the hand that put down his tablet, then turns his upper body towards me and takes a deep breath.

I meet my brother’s eyes with a smile.

“Even if my brother had seen the unedited version, he would have said the same thing. “You know, I didn’t touch anything.”

“Design entertainment points in daily life, and ad-lib with subtitles at appropriate points to maximize them. Yes. That’s why your vlog got more views than other members. In this case, that point especially stood out.”

———That’s the problem.

Close your hands and look carefully into my eyes.

The fact that my dark circles seem to have come down especially today probably isn’t just my mood.

“Chaewon. “If you were to categorize this, you know where it would fit, right?”

“… “I know.”

“Are you saying you were going to upload it even though you knew?”

My brother’s voice, as he spoke every single word, was mixed with suspicion, as if he was asking if he was sincere.

Joohwan oppa’s senses are really sharp.

The ability to catch exactly what the public wants is so great that it is said that being recognized by your brother means being recognized by the public.

I received the greatest compliment I could receive as a vlogger from such a producer.

However, this vlog was filmed by ‘Ever Han Chae-won.’

It is a girl group.

“Yes. “I want to upload it.”

What girl group in the world would post a dating vlog?

+++

Was it that kind of expression? ?

I mutter while resting my chin.

「Are you filming this?」

「What are you talking about? Of course I’m taking pictures.”

Eyes full of warmth and a soft smile. A friendly voice and considerate behavior.

That person is definitely the Kang Yu-min I know. The person sitting across from you and eating the food you gave me is also me.

But why does everything about you on the screen feel unfamiliar to me?

「When I was in elementary school. Now, eat. The sauce is refreshing and you will like it.”

「Wow, this is so delicious! Oh my god. Min-ah, you should try this too!”

Even at the restaurant where I went to have lunch a little later than others.

「Minah, come here. There’s a squirrel here!”

「There could be a squirrel, why all the fuss? … So cute?”

Even at the temple where I was happy because no one recognized me.

「Wow~. It’s the sea~.”

「Do you still have the strength to run? It’s really bad, it’s bad.”

Even at the beach, where the sunset sparkled like stardust in the sky.

You were looking at me as if you loved me.

———It was me, there was no difference.

+++

“The world tour is coming soon. “There’s no need to make noise.”

“I’m glad it ended up being just noise.”

“Are you going to upload it even though you know?”

“Because that is me and Yumin. “No matter what is said, we cannot deny our relationship.”

Ha. Joohwan oppa sighs as if he is frustrated.

I, on the other hand, took a deep breath.

“We’re not dating.”

And then he let out a short sigh.

“He sees me as a friend.”

+++

A time when people are sensitive to relationships with the opposite s*x.

Around puberty is the time when men and women are asked if they are dating each other.

No matter how many times I asked, I heard more people asking if they were dating than asking if they were a wannabe.

I thought so.

Nana Yumin and I were famous in many ways at school, and as I talk about it many times, it was a time of storms and storms, and the fact that such a famous person was a childhood friend was enough to become a topic of conversation among the kids.

Do we seem to have that kind of relationship?

Yoomin doesn’t show much emotion and doesn’t talk much, so he didn’t respond even when I asked him if he was dating.

When I heard people ask if we were dating, I thought it was natural for us to be misunderstood. At the same time, since I am a wannabe who has to manage my image, I said, ‘I like you.’ The concept of ‘dating’ itself was rare.

So, it was strange to see people looking at us as lovers, but we were too familiar with each other for such strangeness to take hold in my heart.

Yes, ‘we’ was more familiar than ‘you’ and ‘me’.

Kang Yu-min and Han Chae-won were used to being grouped together as ‘childhood friends’ rather than being called.

At that time, we……

At least I was a whirlwind.

+++

“That’s not important.”

“Nothing is more important than facts.”

“Chaewon, you are someone worth knowing. “There’s nothing good about posting this.”

“Oppa. “I’m going to upload this.”

“If you keep doing that, the CEO will———.”

“I’m sure the PD will ask you something too. But, there’s no reason why I can’t be confident.”

“———.”

“That’s me, that’s Yumin, that’s why we are.”

I am no longer the child I was then.

“I know very well what your brother is worried about. “I know you’re doing this because you’re wondering what I should do if I’m having a hard time because of this.”

Even if I make a mistake, I never ignore my feelings.

“But it is just as it appears.”

I have made up my mind.

“I like that kid.”

+++

I had decided when I was writing down my diary.

Let’s not be sentimental and just edit neatly.

Because it is so simple that all I have to do is erase my feelings so that the long relationship of the past 15 years does not disappear with a single confession.

Of course, it will be difficult. It all started with the memories I made with you after 3 years, and didn’t the members also say something about it?

Yumin seems to like me.

It was a situation that shook my heart more than once, but I played the video while muttering my resolve several times.

Editing points that I had previously thought about and editing points that I could not figure out. I didn’t take my eyes off the 2-hour video for even a single moment to get the most out of it……

I was sure.

It takes about 2 hours at most to edit a vlog.

It was interesting enough no matter where I pasted it, so I wasn’t even sure I could write it exactly as I thought.

In fact, I was worried that this video would last 15 minutes, let alone 20 minutes.

Every moment was you.

A video that follows you and stops. When I feel like I’m coming out a little, the camera shines on you again.

Like a lover who wants to capture even a little bit of the person he loves……

Even though it was Ever Han Chae-won’s vlog, the video was completely filled with you.

It was only when I saw you, who said you wanted to live quietly and was reluctant to show your face, smiling at the camera, that I understood what the members were saying.

In order to capture you like that, I understood my ‘real’ feelings through the sound of my laughter coming from outside the angle.

You were loving me.

I liked you more than I thought.

We were playing a strange game of childhood friends.

Continued from ‘the 19th day’.

+++

“… Since it came out like that, I have nothing more to say.”

Joohwan oppa smiles and lowers his head.

I couldn’t tell what he was muttering, but it was something close to a lament.

“… Ha. Really, when I first saw him, he was so cute. He’s all grown up.”

He exhaled loudly enough to fill the office, then quickly raised his head and looked at me.

“I’m sorry, Chaewon. “I was so foolish.”

“… Brother?”

“Okay. Like you said, I thought a lot about what I would do if I got hurt by this incident. “You must be so famous and influential.”

“… ….”

“But now that I think about it, Chaewon, you’ve been here for 6 years. “Even though he is still young, he is a veteran who is active in all areas of broadcasting.”

Joohwan oppa gets up from his seat and puts an empty cup into the coffee machine. As the coffee is brewed, the fragrant scent of caffeine once again surrounds the office.

“Whether I know you like this or not, I am a fan of Han Chae-won. And if you are a fan, it is important to support the star’s choices.”

“Am I someone you can trust enough to trust in this choice?”

“If I say it twice, my mouth hurts. Please don’t just retire from the entertainment industry. “Because I want to see you for a long time.”

Joohwan oppa answers without hesitation and sits down again.

He looked into my eyes and smiled……

“I hope your relationship goes well.”

In order to hide my embarrassment, I scratch the back of my head and drink it without noticing how hot it is.

+++

Getting used to it means becoming dull.

But just because you’re used to it doesn’t mean it’s becoming natural, so even if you’re a childhood friend, you can’t take for granted being mistaken for a lover.

Then what did we miss?

For the role play of childhood friends, what did we choose to be insensitive to, and what did you hide your feelings for…? …

How can I go find what I left behind on the day I turned 19?

It will take time to realize. Maybe you will leave me before time allows.

So from now on, there is only one thing I can do.

I will love you without regret.

+++

“Hello?”

It may not have been a trembling voice.

I wanted to talk casually for now, so it’s my best to hope not and pay attention.

-… Hello?

It was your voice that I hadn’t heard in weeks.

“What were you doing?”

-I’m just at home.

“So what are you doing at home?”

-… Do you want me to say it twice? Just stay at home.

A speaking technique that really makes people lose their energy even after hearing it for the first time in a long time.

What should I say when I hear your voice that is still the same… , I just felt infinitely at ease.

-If you’re going to say something unbecoming, hang up.

“The vlog will be uploaded tomorrow.”

-… ….

“I’m contacting you to tell you that.”

-…… I see

“Yes. “Go up tomorrow.”

Continuing the conversation awkwardly, repeating the same words.

It’s been a while. I’d like to talk to you for a long time, even if it’s just one word.

I thought carefully about what to say.

-… If you don’t have anything to say, I’ll just hang up———.

“I like you, Yumin.”

I said something that a childhood friend would never say.

I don’t like stereotypical words anymore.

“I like you, do you like me too?”

-… Have you been drinking?

“Be loud and answer questions. Yes no “It’s a very simple question, one of two things, Sha University student.”

-I don’t know the intention of the question, so I’m trying to figure that out first. Why are you suddenly asking this? Are you filming?

“Hanamam Special. “I keep not answering questions.”

-… It’s been a while since I called and asked someone to talk to me.

A laugh was clearly heard through the cell phone.

The image of you clicking your tongue and thinking deeply came to mind……

-I like it, friend. Is this okay?

You answered reluctantly.

“Yes! “I like you too, friend~!”

-So I need to tell you what the situation is———.

Tap-. Just hang up the phone.

The image of you staring blankly at the black screen of your broken cell phone came to mind.

“Oh, why can’t I record calls on my iPhone?”

Phew, I couldn’t help but laugh.