Intelligent Design: A Monster Evolution LitRPG

David's brain struggled to process the scene unfolding before him. Aelindra Moonwhisper, ancient elven badass and apparent mad scientist, was beaming at him like he was the cutest thing this side of the apocalypse.

Herold, in an attempt to steer the conversation back on topic, cleared his throat with an oddly resonant sound like striking an empty barrel. "Lady Moonwhisper, if I may... You mentioned a litmus test of sorts earlier. Could you elaborate on its purpose?"

Aelindra's eyes lit up, and she launched into an explanation that left most of the gathered creatures blinking in confusion. "Oh, yes! You see, we've only encountered one other Special Integration, and it was... well, not exactly chatty." She winked, as if sharing an inside joke. "But the technology left behind! Oh, the wonders we found! Clear evidence they had reached the stars, walked among them even!"

The dwarves grumbled, muttering about ‘more elvish nonsense,’ but Herold pressed on. "And our world? What does your... test reveal about us?"

Aelindra's smile turned enigmatic. "That, my large exoskeletal friend, is precisely what I'm trying to determine. We have theories, of course, about what triggers a Special Integration, but never before have we had the chance to test them. Until now."

Claire, her massive head tilting in curiosity, decided to join the fray. "So, what you're saying is, you're looking for evidence of advanced technology? Like, say, an understanding of quantum physics?"

Aelindra froze, her eyes widening to comical proportions. Then, without warning, she burst into a fit of giggles that sounded more like wind chimes in a hurricane than laughter. "Oh, starlight! Could you... could you repeat that, please?"

Claire obliged, speaking slower this time, confusion evident in her rumbling voice.

Aelindra, still grinning like a loon, turned to a random dwarf. "You there! What did you hear her say? Verbatim, if you please."

The dwarf scratched his beard, looking thoroughly perplexed. "Somethin' about tiny bits of magic that can be in two places at once? And how watchin' 'em changes what they do? Didn't make a lick of sense to me, I'll tell ye that much. Sounds like the kinda nonsense ye'd hear after one too many pints at the Rusty Anvil."

David's brain kicked into overdrive, the pieces suddenly falling into place. "Holy shit," he blurted, wings flaring in excitement. "The System's like one of those shady street vendors who sells knockoff designer bags! It's giving us the Guchi of translations, but it's really just a 'Guchee' with the logo painted on!"

The dwarves roared with laughter, clearly appreciating David's colorful analogy if not fully grasping its meaning. Aelindra's eyes twinkled with amusement, while the Woodlanders around them shared a collective "aha" moment, the absurd comparison somehow making perfect sense.

Dallas, his mandibles clicking in confusion, turned to David. "How did you figure that out?"

David shrugged, a grin spreading across his monstrous features. "Because I'm just as lost as our new friends over there on the science stuff, but I didn't hear something different. I figured that's because I know of what they're talking about, just…not enough to follow along."

Aelindra, having finished her examination of Herold, bounced over to David with the enthusiasm of a caffeinated squirrel. Before he could even process what was happening, she had pulled out his wing, bathed him in light from a palm-mounted device that left him giggling involuntarily, peered into his ears with a crystal-thingy produced then replaced almost instantly into a belt pouch, and pried open his jaws to examine his teeth.

Claire watched the spectacle, her expression torn between possessive anger and utter amusement at David's bewildered look. It was as if she couldn't decide whether to swallow Aelindra whole or burst into reptilian laughter.

"Oh, these markings!" Aelindra cooed, tracing the patterns on David's wings with reverent fingers. "You bear the moon's heraldry, little night-flyer! A most auspicious sign indeed." She winked at him, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "I'd wager you're quite the powerhouse in Control and Offense, aren't you?"

David blinked, momentarily forgetting the indignity of being manhandled by an overeager elf. "How the hell could you possibly know that?"

Aelindra's grin widened, a twinkle in her eye. "Oh, it's quite simple when you're older than dirt in some places." She launched into an explanation that sounded like a fantasy physicist's fever dream. "You see, the thaumaturgical resonance of your aetheric signature clearly indicates a predisposition towards lunar-aspected mana manipulation. The chromatic aberrations in your wing patterns are a dead giveaway for advanced spatial distribution capabilities, typically associated with high-level control matrices and offensive arcana!"

David's head spun, the words washing over him like a tidal wave of magical gibberish. Just as he was about to ask for a translation into something resembling English, Claire chimed in, shocking everyone.

"So….you're saying his…mana channels… allow for ‘spell’ propagation?" Claire's question was halting but seemed to hit the nail on the head, leaving the gathered crowd in stunned silence. Even Aelindra blinked in surprise for a moment, clearly not expecting such a knowledgeable response.

Then, like a switch had been flipped, Aelindra's face lit up with the same manic glee she'd shown David. She bounded a few steps over to Claire, her armor somehow allowing her to scale the massive reptile's side with ease.

"Fascinating!" Aelindra exclaimed, pacing along Claire's back and counting her steps before hopping down off her back. "Such density in these scales! And these teeth – oh, simply marvelous!"

Before anyone could react, Aelindra had pried open Claire's massive jaws and crawled inside her mouth. The dwarves turned pale, clearly expecting to see the elf become an impromptu snack. But Claire merely rolled her eyes, looking mildly annoyed as she waited for the examination to conclude.

David, watching the scene unfold, couldn't help but feel like he'd stumbled into some sort of comedy routine. Here they were, facing the potential end of their world, and he was watching an ancient elven scientist treat his best friend like the world's most terrifying dentist's chair.

As Aelindra emerged from Claire's maw, covered in a fine sheen of dinosaur drool but grinning from pointed ear to pointed ear, David got the distinct impression that the elf might be a little weird. His suspicions were only confirmed as she immediately dove back in, continuing her enthusiastic examination of Claire's dental structure with the fervor of a child in a candy store.

However, her scientific rapture was short-lived.

A polite but forceful throat-clearing interrupted her exploration. One of her retinue, a tall elven man with an expression that screamed 'long-suffering aide,' stood nearby with two others, looking for all the world like a parent about to drag their overeager child away from the zoo exhibits.

Aelindra emerged from Claire's maw, pouting like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Oh, alright," she sighed, her demeanor shifting from giddy scientist to something more befitting her apparent station. "How much time remains in the Event?"

David checked his readout. "About 32 minutes and change."

–00:32:17–

Aelindra nodded, then turned to the dwarf leader with a formal air. "Noble son of the mountain, I extend my deepest gratitude for alerting us to this... unique situation. You have done a great service not only to the elven people but to the System itself."

She bowed low, causing the dwarf to turn a shade of red usually reserved for overripe tomatoes. "Think nothin' of it, m'lady," he muttered, shuffling his feet. "Just doin' me duty, is all."

"Nonsense!" Aelindra declared. "I shall personally commend you and your men to the Forge Spirit for your discipline. Lesser warriors might have initiated hostilities upon encountering an army of Thaumaturgic Aberrations."

The dwarf leader's eyes dropped guiltily. "Truth be told, m'lady, 'twas a near thing."

Aelindra's smile was gentle but knowing. Turning back to the assembled Woodlanders, she took a deep breath. "Now then, I'm afraid I must begin with the bad news, as unpleasant as that may be."

The gathered creatures tensed, preparing themselves for the worst.

"Once this Event concludes, we will be forced to return to our respective worlds," Aelindra explained. "The dimensional bridge is not yet stable, and the Overseers – or Worldenders, as it may be – are manually maintaining the connections. Remaining behind would result in dimensional de-anchoring, and while I'm usually game for a bit of spacetime surfing, today's not the day for it."

A collective groan rose from the crowd, but Aelindra pressed on. "However! We elves are particularly adept at creating Gates. I, along with our most skilled priests and seers, will make it our top priority to establish a stable connection. It may take some time, given the unique nature of your Integration, but we will find our way back to you."

It's so weird how she flip flops between formal and…rambling? Like she's finally got someone to talk to; I bet she doesn't ‘get out’ much.

"I must admit," Aelindra continued, her eyes gleaming with barely contained excitement, "this entire situation is unprecedented. I half-expected to find a dimension teeming with proto-Worldenders, necessitating immediate extermination protocols. Instead, I discover a fascinatingly fucked but largely intact Integration event! It's positively thrilling!"

Yeah, definitely doesn't get out much.

The dwarves and elves in her retinue winced at her colorful language, but Aelindra barreled on. "Given the unprecedented nature of... well, everything, I'll need to consult with the Eldest before we proceed further."

At the mention of 'the Eldest,' the dwarves collectively paled, looking as if they'd just been told the apocalypse was scheduled for teatime. Even Aelindra's elven companions seemed shaken, though they valiantly maintained their composure.

"Now then," Aelindra said, clapping her hands together. "We usually distribute weapons, armor, and supplies at this juncture to aid in the next phase of Integration. But I suppose that's rather pointless in your case, isn't it?"

The dwarf leader cleared his throat. "Beggin' yer pardon, m'lady, but we've still got it all packed if they'd like it. We'll not be caught dead and shaven takin' back gifts meant for others."

Herold, seizing the opportunity, waved a leg for attention. "We would be honored to accept such generous gifts. Given the exceptional craftsmanship of your own gear, I doubt we'd find finer equipment anywhere."

The dwarves puffed up with pride at this, looking supremely smug. "Aye, that's the truth of it!" one called out. "Ye'll not find sturdier or finer work in all the realms!"

With great ceremony, they placed three small backpacks before Herold. From the reverent way they handled them, you'd think they were delivering the crown jewels of every kingdom in existence.

Aelindra waited patiently for the dwarven pride parade to conclude before continuing. "Ordinarily, we'd take time to address any questions about Classes, Skill Fusions, or Multi-Classing. But again, that's not terribly relevant here, is it?" She sighed dramatically. "It's a pity we don't have any Beast Lords or Beastkin with us. They'd be far more useful in your situation. Alas, it's a rare and challenging Class to progress."

David couldn't help but snort at that. "Lady, if you'd told me a year ago I'd be standing here looking like a reject from a Tom Burtin fever dream, talking to elves and dwarves about magic classes, I'd have asked what you were smoking and if you'd share."

Aelindra's eyes lit up at that. "Oh? And what, pray tell, is a 'Tom Burtin'? Some manner of hallucinogenic fungus native to your world?"

Before David could attempt to explain the concept of gothic fantasy directors to an elf from another dimension, Claire interjected. "Perhaps we could focus on more pressing matters? Like how we're supposed to survive whatever comes next without your help?"

Aelindra's expression sobered. "You're quite right, my scaley friend. While our time is limited, I'll do my best to impart what wisdom I can. Tell me, what challenges do you foresee in the immediate future?"

As Aelindra began fielding questions from the eager Woodlanders, her aides spread out among the crowd, finally finding their purpose in this bizarre situation. The air buzzed with a cacophony of queries and explanations, magical jargon mixing with the more mundane concerns of survival in a world gone mad.

David, seizing the moment of relative calm, sidled up to Claire. "So," he murmured, keeping his voice low, "on a scale of 'mildly peculiar' to 'what the actual fuck,' where would you rate our current situation?"

Claire's reptilian features contorted into what passed for a smirk. "I'd say we're firmly in 'reality's having a nervous breakdown' territory." She paused, then added, "Though I suppose that's been our baseline for a while now."

David snickered. "True enough. You know, we could probably make a killing as a traveling carnival once the worlds are connected. Step right up, folks! See the amazing bat-dragon and his dinosaur sidekick!"

Claire snorted, a sound like boulders grinding together. "Right, because nothing says 'welcome to our world' like a bunch of Lovecraftian nightmares rolling into town. We'd be fireballed into oblivion before we could set up the first tent."

"Fair point," David conceded, wings rustling with amusement. "Guess we'll have to work on our PR. 'Friendly neighborhood abominations' has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Claire nodded, her tone dry as the Sahara. "Oh yes, I'm sure 'Hi, we're Worldender pet projects!' will go over swimmingly."

David's laughter died in his throat, his expression sobering. "Speaking of Worldenders... what do you think Omega – or Zorn'thaal, or whatever the hell we're supposed to call it – is really up to?"

Claire's massive head swung towards him, eyes narrowing. "No idea, but I'd bet my last scale it's nothing good. Omega's clearly bad news, at least in my book."

David nodded, unable to argue after his repeated run-ins with the entity. "Yeah, can't really dispute that. Xi doesn't come off as evil, but then again, they're probably so much trickier than us that we've got no way of knowing for sure."

"All Overseers are the enemy until proven otherwise," Claire posited, her voice a low rumble. "We can't afford to assume anything else."

David frowned, not entirely convinced. "Maybe, but don't you think if they wanted to just subjugate us, they could have done it already? There's clearly some kind of plan here, even if we can't see it. They're actively maintaining this event, according to Aelindra. They had to know we'd learn about who and what they are during it."

Claire's tail twitched thoughtfully. "So you're saying they anticipated this? Planned for it?"

" Exactly," David nodded. "And the new people coming into Wave 2 – assuming there are any – will find out almost immediately what's happened. So the question is... why allow it?"

They fell into contemplative silence for a time, the background chatter of questions and answers fading into white noise.

Finally, Claire spoke, punctuating her words with a thump of her tail against the ground. "Maybe... they're trying to go legit? Like monsters agreeing to work with the government in exchange for a pardon?"

David blinked, mulling it over before shaking his head. "I'm not sure that's it. According to the dwarves, they're already strong enough to force a truce just by being too dangerous to try and kill."

Their speculation was cut short as Aelindra's voice rang out, tinged with urgency. "Time grows short, my friends! We must return to our own realms!"

The dwarves echoed her call, shepherding their group back towards the shimmering portal. As the last of her retinue stepped through, Aelindra turned to address the Woodlanders one final time.

"Fear not," she said, her voice carrying a mix of reassurance and barely contained excitement. "The other System worlds will aid you... once we've sorted out exactly what in the starlight is going on here."

With a final wave, she turned to leave. But before stepping through, she paused, extending her hand towards a nearby bush. A brilliant strobe of light erupted from her palm, annihilating the puddle of dwarf vomit in an instant. Where it had been, only a ring of bare dirt remained, tiny bits of glass cooling on the surface.

"Possible contaminant," Aelindra muttered, then vanished through the portal. The rift's image unfocused and began to fade the moment she crossed over.

The Woodlanders stood in stunned silence, the only sounds the gentle gurgle of the nearby river and the whisper of wind through the trees. Several seconds passed before a large, buffalo-like creature broke the spell.

"Well," it rumbled, "that happened. What now?"

Herold spoke up. "Dallas, if you'd be so kind as to collect those bags? Everyone else, double-time back to the Burrow. We don't know when Wave 2 will actually begin."

As the crowd began to disperse, David stretched, suddenly aware of how tense he'd been since the first dwarf stepped through the rift. "First order of business in Wave 2," he said to Claire, "is getting you your evolution. Shit's just getting crazier and crazier lately."

Claire gave an awkward, muttered response that instantly set off alarm bells in David's head. But before he could press the issue, lines of system text began to scroll across his vision.

–Wave 1 Termination Sequence Initiated–

–Gathering Integration Data–

–Collating User Metrics–

–Preparing Stasis Fields–

–Initiating Wave 2 Preload–

–Standby Mode Engaging...–

Claire sat bolt upright, her posture screaming 'predator about to strike.' David heard her snarl something about "every choice leading to supremacy" as her eyes unfocused.

The world around them began to slow, reality itself seeming to hiccup. David's vision filled with a torrent of code – snippets about temporal synchronicity, master system time, planetary data, and other esoteric information he couldn't begin to comprehend.

–Standby Mode Engaged–

–ERROR: User DAVID_FISHER Exemption Detected–

–Origination Token Identified–

–Rerouting to Observation Protocol–

–Temporal Displacement Modifications Online–

–Initiating Overseer Observation Sequence–

Vertigo slammed into him like a freight train, the world blurring as he felt a sensation of extreme speed and movement that left him totally disoriented.

When the dizziness finally subsided, David found himself standing in an endless expanse of grey fog. For once, he wasn't a disembodied consciousness in this place – a place he recognized all too well. As far as he could tell, it was the Evolution menu, but experienced in person rather than within the confines of his mind.

WHAT THE FUCK?

As he pulled himself together, David found himself standing in an endless expanse of grey fog. The mist swirled around his taloned feet, stretching as far as the eye could see.

And he wasn't alone.

Surrounding him were creatures that defied description, each a nightmare in its own right. Closest to him, grouped beneath a pulsing crimson Omega symbol, were beings that radiated raw, destructive power.

A figure with skin like polished obsidian towered nearby, its form vaguely feline but devoid of recognizable features. Cracks ran across its surface, revealing molten innards that pulsed with each movement. Eyes like twin infernos blazed from what passed for its face.

Beside it loomed a titanic creature that resembled a whale crossed with a shark, inflated to impossible proportions. Its mottled blue-grey hide was covered in bioluminescent patterns that pulsed hypnotically, massive teeth like serrated needles jutting from its maw.

David's gaze was drawn to a pair of beings joined at the spine, their lower bodies resembling mountain goats while their upper halves were a twisted amalgamation of bear and elk. Crystalline antlers crowned their heads, refracting the dim light.

A creature that appeared to be a fusion of venus flytrap and gorilla swayed nearby, its "face" a cluster of carnivorous blossoms that gnashed hungrily. Vines and tendrils writhed along its massive, fur-covered limbs.

The last in their group was a porcupine-like being the size of a small car, its quills constantly shifting like a living forest of spears. Its beady eyes darted about with predatory intensity.

Turning slowly, David saw that they were part of a loose circle. Other groups stood beneath different sigils – a purple Xi, a green Phi, a golden Alpha, an orange Theta, and two others he didn't recognize: a blue symbol and a white one.

His gaze was drawn to the group opposite them, standing beneath the golden Alpha sigil. Among them was a sight that made David's jaw drop. A titanic serpent, easily as thick as a man, coiled itself into a tall mass. Its body was covered in steely grey feathers that David realized with a start were actually metal, creating a literal forest of blades that clattered with each movement.

The serpent's massive head was adorned with a battered white cowboy hat, and four amber eyes the size of hubcaps surveyed the scene with tactical malevolence. A great burlap cloak was draped over its form, and as David watched, the creature spread massive wings in a dramatic flourish. The gust of wind that followed was powerful enough to ruffle David's fur even from across the circle.

…Wouldn't the clothes just get in the way? I like the hat, though. Nice touch, dude. Also…what the fuck is going on?

Before David could process the sheer absurdity of a cowboy hat-wearing, metal-feathered flying serpent, a thunderous voice boomed out across the expanse.

"Greetings, Useful Ones. You stand here as the pinnacle of your respective domains, the most exceptional among your peers. Your actions, your choices, have set you apart from the countless others who now slumber."

The voice paused, letting the weight of its words sink in before continuing:

"As a gesture of transparency and good faith, we grant you the privilege to witness the transition between waves. What you are about to see is the dawn of a new era, the reshaping of your world.”

David noticed the group beneath the Alpha symbol reacting with recognition to the voice, and he made the connection – this must be Alpha speaking.

The endless grey mist at the center of their circle began to churn, falling away like water down a drain to reveal... Earth. But not the Earth David remembered. This planet spun at an impossible speed, like a time-lapse video on fast-forward.

Everyone present fell silent, struck dumb by the sight before them. Enormous objects, each glowing with a different color, burned through the atmosphere like extinction-level asteroids. They pushed aside clouds with their passage, impacting the surface with unimaginable force. The destruction spread outward from each impact site, only to be erased by the rapid passage of time.

David watched in awe as the landscape around each impact transformed. The crimson object – Omega's, he presumed – turned its surroundings into harsh badlands, a world of spires and unforgiving terrain. The purple impact site sprouted dense, dark forests that seemed to swallow all light. Around the green object, ecosystems exploded into a patchwork of biomes that defied all logic and natural law.

Vast river deltas spiderwebbed out from the blue impact, while golden grasslands stretched to the horizon around Alpha's landing site. David caught a glimpse of the orange object's impact, but the planet's rotation carried it out of view before he could determine if it had struck ocean or land.

As the planet continued its dizzying spin, David heard murmurs of amazement and confusion from the beings around him. The obsidian creature emitted a low, rumbling sound like lava hissing against cool stone. "Now that's what I call terraforming," she growled.

The plant-gorilla hybrid rustled excitedly. "Such potential for growth," it whispered in a voice like leaves in the wind. "A whole world to reshape..."

From across the circle, the massive serpent's voice rumbled, "Reckon that's gonna make things a mite more interestin' back home."

David's mind reeled as he tried to process what he was seeing.

I uh…wow. Holy fuck. So much for all those maps, huh? Making a pilgrimage makes a lot more sense now; oh my god. I hope nobody was living where those came down…

The thunderous voice of Alpha resonated through the mist once more:

"We thank you for bearing witness to this momentous occasion. Remember what you've seen here, for it will shape the trials to come."

Then, a new voice cut through the fog - deeper, more guttural, unmistakably Omega's:

"Some of you will rise to greatness, others will fall. But all of you will leave your mark on what is to come."

As the mist began to thicken, obscuring the other groups from view, David heard Omega's voice one last time, a hint of challenge in its tone:

"We'll be watching your progress with great interest. Do not disappoint us."

David's last thought before consciousness slipped away was a mixture of anticipation and dread. Wave 2 was about to begin, and nothing would ever be the same.