Isekai Speedrun

Self-Destruction Dance (also known as Saif Know-Not) wasn't a playable character in the game. He was a friendly NPC sidekick with low health and mediocre DPS, but he was useful to keep around because of his special skills. Well, for a regular gamer he was useful companion, but not that much for a speedrunner.

Dancer's secondary area-of-effect skill had a variable charge time and variable cooldown time depending on the power of the blast. A few spins and a hard step had a knockback effect on all enemies inside a radius of few meters, but a small blast didn't do any damage. A larger interpretive dance, however, was a wide-area attack powerful enough to throw enemies in the air and bend trees in a radius of about dozen meters.

The best strat when using Dancer as an AI sidekick was to equip him with long range weapon and macro him to make a quick spin when enemies came too close. This way he could usually avoid melee damage and deal ranged damage.

Dancer's party power as such was good, but what made him cumbersome as a sidekick was his balance tradeoff: he sometimes randomly overcharged his dance battle meter for a suicide attack and you had to dialogue him out of it. If you didn't do it in time and his main skill Dance Explosion activated, he went out in a massive pillar of fire like a low-orbit ion cannon in reverse, killing everyone around with him.

I had rehearsed in my head what to tell to Dancer, so my time travel backstory went surprisingly smoothly.

“...So you traveled back in time and you know my name because... I have some big part in history?” (Dancer)

“Yes, something like that.”

“...It is true?” (Dancer)

“True story.”

“...And you know who I am?” (Dancer)

“Yes. I know you have lost your memories and wandered around for a while now, trying to find clues about your past. You remember that your slave name is Saif, and you suspect that you were also called Know-Not, and you know that the flesh under your skin is unusually gray for a human, and that's about all, right?”

“Y-yes, that's right...” (Dancer)

“In the future, you are known as Self-Destruction Dance, or just Dancer for your friends. Crystal Pencil here is your best friend in the future, by the way. You'll be one of the key figures of the Revolution Movement, a group started in the future by your best friend Crys.”

“Best friend...?” (Dancer)

Dancer looked at Crys doubtfully. Crys, sipping his tea like a James Bond villain, nodded approvingly. Dancer really was his closest henchman in the anime, so hopefully they get along here as well.

“Now, about the past you have forgotten... sit tight, we're entering heavy spoiler territory. You were born at Psikir Island, which is a remote island located on the southern Sea of Peace. Its exact location is not known for Caliph or Suleiman yet, but Caliph will find the island few years from now, or to be more precise, his subject arkont Tikano will find it for him. I don't know exactly how you ended up here on the Ur Continent alone and without memories, but my educated guess is that you were left on a raft as a child and carried by ocean currents. Anyway, the main point is that there's actually a whole tribe of people like you out there on Psikir Island.”

The Psikir Island episode was a big reveal in the series. We were led to believe that Dancer was a unique character, but then on the fifth season we found out there was an island full of people like Dancer. Caliph Tze's exploration fleet found the island, fought a short but intense battle against the tribe warriors, enslaved the hundred or so psikirs that were still alive and used them as superweapons that turned the trench warfare deadlock into a desperate defensive war for Suleiman's side.

“...People like me?” (Dancer)

“People who spin, dance and explode. You can feel that obsession, right? You want to dance and spin until you explode like a barrel of gunpowder, instead of just spinning for a moment and sending a mere shockwave blast around you.”

“Y-yes, exactly!” (Dancer)

Dancer was excited. He had finally found solid info about his past and I was also the first person who completely understood his motivations and goals.

Let's not bring his excitement down by telling him about his little sister Fu-Go, who he will meet about four years from now. Yep, kick the difficult things down the road to avoid them. I'll tell him three years from now, if she doesn't show up on her own.

“I have never exploded, since I'm just a regular time-traveling human, but I can kind of understand what it would be like for you because I've seen it several times in several different settings. It's still just a weak feeling in you, but it keeps getting stronger the older you get, you know. About five years from now, you will be often in the mood for a random suicide attack and people need to regularly talk you out of it.”

“So it's going to be like that...” (Dancer)

Dancer was taking everything in and accepting it quite easily. My preparations were paying off. Or maybe Crys softened him before he brought him here?

“Yeah, it's like that. The same thing happens to everyone in your tribe when they get older. Old people eventually leave the island and row alone to nearby atolls to dance themselves to death. And by old people I mean people at their late twenties, just like you in a few years.”

“And Caliph Tze wants to use my people as weapons to end the war...?” (Dancer)

“Yes.”

“My people, as weapons... We can't let that happen...” (Dancer)

“Exactly, you're catching on quickly. Originally, Psikir Island tribe was artificially created, or you might wanto to use the word cursed, by Strangers. They probably wanted to use people as living drill-and-blast equipment in the dungeon mines or something. That's the common theory. Strangers often used humans like disposable tools and items, modifying them for their strange purposes. Then, after the Strangers disappeared, psikirs had to learn how to live normal lives with their explosive curse. Maybe there's a way for you and your tribe to overcome that curse with time, or maybe it disappears with enough generations, but that requires we make sure there are generations of you in the future.”

“I understand...” (Dancer)

Hm? Dancer was a bit more positive and talkative guy in the anime. I guess few years living in the streets as an amnesiac and constantly suppressing your basic instinct to kill yourself is enough to turn a person into a wet rag.

Crys said he found him from the Showboat Alley in the Low City area. Dancer was working under a local Chiffonnier Gang and living under a rowboat. It takes at least a warm bath and nutritious breakfast to cheer him up.

Yosh, let's try some pep talk for starters!

“Saif, you are probably the only psikir with enough willpower to stay alive despite being treated like a stray dog. It's a commendable achievement.”

“...Being alive doesn't feel like I've achieved something... Normal people stay alive...” (Dancer)

“Sure, but for someone like you it is a big achievement, you know. Many psikirs blow themselves up as teenagers. A weak-willed youngster in your position would have danced himself to death already, would you agree?”

“I guess...” (Dancer)

“You're not an unique guy because you're a psikir, you're unique because your will to live is stronger than any other psikir's in existence.”

“I guess so...” (Dancer)

“Do you want to return to the island of your tribe?”

“I don't know...” (Dancer)

“Then, do you want to come with us and save the world? Do you want to kill Caliph Tze, the evil guy that will destroy your tribe in the future if we let him stay alive?”

“You mean... kill him by dancing...?” (Dancer)

“Yes, kill him by dancing him into oblivion or trap him under a mountain, whatever it takes. That's our main mission. Or, well, the world will probably fall to many small factions fighting for territory and resources after that, but at least when the Big Bad is gone, there's some hope for humanity. Your role is to be our secret weapon, our last nuclear option, if our first option or second option doesn't work. We don't force you to do it, of course. I'm just saying that if you want to do it for the good of all mankind and for the good of your tribe, take a job with a meaning. Choose a career that matters. We have an open position in our firm for a special guy like you, with all perks and bonuses.”

“I feel...” (Dancer)

“Yes?”

“...I want to do... something that matters.” (Dancer)

“Yes, that's right!”

“I don't want to dance just to satisfy my own desire...” (Dancer)

“Yes, here's your chance! Use your death, make it your life!”

Dancer was a bit taken aback by my enthusiasm. Did I go overboard with my motivational speech? He looked at Crys, looking for a second opinion.

“How about you show your skills to us first.” (Crys)

“Oh, that's right! Could you demonstrate your power to Crys-sensei today? Crys can guarantee your safety with a binding blood contract, if you prove to him you are useful. You certainly are useful, right?”

“...Un.” (Dancer)

“Yosh, let's move to a location where our new friend can demo his demolition expertise!”

It's good that it's raining heavily today. The city guards probably won't bother leaving their post and run outside just because there's a small explosion in an abandoned lot somewhere.

---

We took a straight path through the High City Garden area and stopped at an empty plot of land in the middle of a forest park.

This forest park was just background scenery in the game, but it looked like there had been several small buildings here in the recent past. Now there was just the stone foundations left, everything was burned and covered in black sand. The night watch of the city put out fires mainly by throwing buckets of black beach sand on the flames.

Crys, Dancer and me all wore rain cloaks and stood under trees while Kimono went ahead to scout the area. When Kimono came back, Crys gave his permission to proceed with the demonstration.

“Just a light and short dance, okay? We don't want to bring too much attention to ourselves.”

“Yes, I will control myself.” (Dancer)

Dancer walked over to the open space between two burned houses. Crys, Kimono and me watched him from the treeline.

“Crys, if he spins longer than thirty seconds, it's probably better for you two to move back. I'll run in and talk him out of it.”

“Sure.” (Crys)

Dancer took of his rain cloak, shook his hands and feet for a moment to warm up, and the he started spinning like a dervish, his arms spread wide and head swaying in a different rhythm to prevent dizziness.

Crys took out his pocket watch and I started counting seconds in my mind. One, two, three...

After roughly ten seconds, Dancer made a wide whirl, leaned forward and stomped his foot on the ground like anime hero power-sphereing before attack.

There was a slight delay, and then –

BOOM

– raindrops, sand, debris and twigs blew away like Dancer had put up a momentary invisible force field around him. The radius of the blast was about five meters. The move looked like Dancer had suddenly stepped on a fireless and smokeless landmine in the middle of his dance.

I heard a low boom on my ears and felt a sudden strong gust of wind. Kimono instantly moved in front of Crys to block the debris from reaching him.

“Interesting.” (Crys)

“Yep, that's what about ten seconds of dancing does. The longer he spins, the bigger the blast. If he spins a few minutes without interruptions, his whole body blows up like a massive pillar of flame instead of this short sphere of pressure... Speaking of pillars of flame, that's how Caliph eventually finds the Psikir Island – by sending arkont Tikano on an expedition to research the source of old sailor stories about bright pillars of light in the southern horizon.”

Dancer wrapped himself in his rain cloak again and walked back to us. He was shivering, but it was probably more from the mental effort he had to exert to stop his dance rather than from the cold rain or the physical effort of dancing itself.

“...W-was that enough?” (Dancer)

“What do you think, Crys? Lap Dance Revolution is a pretty cool guy, right?”

“Dancer, let's make a contract.” (Crys)

Eeh? He gets a contract immediately? I should be the more useful one here! Does this mean he gets a senior position in the company and I'm his junior? It's not like I'm jealous or anything. Muu... it's fine.

I guess Self-Destruction Dance has joined the the party. Tettere~te! Rare item get!

No, that's wrong. Dancer is a human being or something. Don't think of him as a tool like Strangers or Caliph Tze.

If Test Subject doesn't show up tomorrow, our next waypoint is Uwaga Dungeon and we can finally start this run properly.