Kiss the Ground

“I can guarantee you, there won’t be an open training day in Winchester for the next 10 years.”Jude said solemnly, poking at the stir-fried Brussels sprouts on his tray. The menu might have seemed tongue-in-cheek to anyone, but the seriousness on his face wasn’t solely due to Winchester FC’s harsh diet regimen.Misha’s condition, though not severe enough for immediate hospitalization, had loosened up somewhat, given the short time since the shocking incident. However, the aftermath of the unsettling event that occurred just two days ago still lingered in the club. The staff were busy running around the lobby and lounge, and unidentified officials in suits were lingering around the headquarters.Most of the legal issues they embraced were being handled privately, considering the mental well-being of the players leading up to a crucial match. However, the severity of the matter was apparent, especially with Yoon Chahyun, the indirect victim, facing constant calls from institutions and the police regarding his mobile phone. The fact that they managed to avoid a complete lockdown of the center was somewhat fortunate, given the rapid containment and identification of the perpetrator in the early stages of the incident.Regardless of how things unfolded, time passed, and the upcoming match in three days was rapidly approaching. Training had resumed as usual, but the players couldn’t help expressing their individual opinions on the shocking event.“Even if it’s not 10 years, at least while Blue is in charge, such events should be considered impossible.”“The coach must have been quite shocked too, as expected…”Chahyun murmured across the table in response to Jude’s consecutive assertions. Since the end of the team game two days ago until now, during lunch, Blue had not shown up in front of the players. Initially, he must have been busy covering for Misha, and now, as the overall manager of the club, he was undoubtedly busy shuttling around various places.“He wasn’t as shocked as you might think. Martinez coach mentioned that Blue almost ended up sharing a hospital bed. Still, he seems to be holding up well considering who he is.”Thinking about Blue’s efforts to maintain composure for the sake of handling the aftermath of the incident, Chahyun felt a renewed sense of bitterness. It was truly an incident that had the entire club buzzing. After a brief period of gloomy atmosphere, Jude spoke up.“Oh, by the way, did you meet Misha? I sent you a message yesterday.”“Ah, yeah.”“Is he not as bad as you thought? I saw his face when I passed by the gym.”“He was in the gym?”“Yeah. Coach allowed a light workout, like leg extensions. I guess he thought it was okay. He was there with stuff stuck to his face as he passed by.”“Wounds… He said they’ve been stitched up.”“Then the first leg against Birmingham will undoubtedly be tough.”“Probably…”Jude raised his head from the tray he was lowering, trying to interpret Yoon Chahyun’s passive voice. There was a subtle expression somewhere.“Don’t blame yourself too much, Yuan. It’s not your fault. Who could have known such a thing would happen? You’ve only had one or two open training sessions until now.”Jude tried to comfort Chahyun, who maintained a composed silence, by patting his shoulders.“It’s a big deal for the whole team, not just Misha. If you’re affected by something like this, it’ll last a long time. Everyone must be struggling to sort out the lineup for the Birmingham game…”Whether he was worried about Chahyun or just changing the subject, Jude turned the conversation. However, that, too, was a headache in its own right.In the Champions League tournament, each round consists of two matches. One is played on their own team’s ground, and the other at the opponent’s ground. So, one match becomes a home game, and the other an away game, considering the familiarity of the location, taking into account the players’ conditions and the fairness of the match.The round of 16 match against Birmingham for Winchester followed the same rule. The first-leg game, which would take place in three days, would be at Winchester’s home ground, and the second-leg game a few days later would be held at Birmingham Stadium near London.It was a foregone conclusion that Misha would not participate in the upcoming Birmingham first-leg match. It was not only impossible to play with such a severe injury, but even attempting to do so could be a reckless choice that might jeopardize his future as a player. From the club’s perspective, which wanted to keep a talented player as long as possible, it was an event they absolutely couldn’t welcome.If Misha’s absence ends with the first leg, it would be better. But if he couldn’t recover by the time of the second leg?This year’s Winchester, fueled by the determination for the championship after making significant acquisitions, had many players gathering expectations for the title. Misha Asplund was an outstanding rookie among them, an essential member crucial for leading the team to victory.Losing Misha for the entire Birmingham series would be a significant loss, and with Yoon Chahyun’s delicate mental issues added to the mix…“Sigh…”Jude sighed deeply. Chahyun also felt like sighing along, but half of it was about his own issues. Most players gathered in the cafeteria probably shared Jude’s thoughts on the impending squad composition challenges.After the major incident, practical problems flooded the table without a moment to catch one’s breath. Chahyun had no choice but to bow his head.***The schedule after lunch was in the seminar room. It was to monitor Birmingham United FC’s past matches in preparation for the main tournament. The videos had been checked and reviewed several times during the long preparation period, but the players’ atmosphere was not as lively as before.However, being a soccer player wasn’t a profession where you could sit and wrap your head. Whether it’s a win or a loss, you have to go out and play. For a club that aimed to escape the group stage for the first time in years and compete for the championship, it was even more so. The players walked with heavy steps, leaving the seminar room and heading to the field.“Feels so empty with one person missing…”“Yeah. Why does it feel so dull? It’s just a 7v7, the same as usual.”Winston agreed with Leroy’s weak voice. It might be because of the mood, but Yoon Chahyun felt the same way. Players, divided into teams of seven, each marked with symbols to distinguish their teams, participated in a mini-game where a small number of players played for 20 minutes. It was a training menu that used only about a quarter of the original stadium, suitable for warming up and often held.The only difference from usual was Misha’s absence, but the chaotic atmosphere might make the field seem unusually vast. The players stood on the field like scattered matchsticks.“We need to concentrate on recovering the atmosphere even a bit. The only way to support Asplund’s recovery is to win the Round of 16 and advance to the next game.”It wasn’t a textbook conclusion, but it sounded just right coming from Lou. Despite being rigid and dull, it was just enough to wake everyone’s spirits. Watching some players move slowly after the speech ending, it seemed that way.With the sound of the whistle announcing the start of the game, Yoon Chahyun walked along the edge of the field with a slow jog. Due to the small size of the narrow field, the flow of passes was fast. Watching the trajectory of the ball quickly moving from one place to another in the center, Chahyun absentmindedly recalled recent events.A tiresome and monotonous stagnant period that had been following Yoon Chahyun for a few weeks. The feeling during that time was like running encased in a thin, opaque film. It was a sensation similar to being chased by someone in a dream, where limbs struggled weakly, and the range of vision, hearing, and touch seemed strangely narrow and stifling.As one became accustomed to the flow where every part of the body moved a beat slower than the brain’s command, the mind eventually fell into helplessness. Once a negative certainty developed that even if you seize any good opportunity, kicking from here wouldn’t hit well, it was likely to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.What awaited thereafter was the endless repetition of failure.The players call that process a slump. Since the Umbertide match, Yoon Chahyun has never managed to break free from it, except for one instance when he faintly caught his breath while competing with Misha in a team game during open training.If things continue like this, really… Although he didn’t want to admit it, he might not contribute even to reaching the quarterfinals, let alone winning the championship. What was confidently guaranteed for the future would become a ridiculous spectacle.Jude’s shouted exclamation brutally shattered Chahyun’s untimely contemplation.“Yuan! Ball!”With the rapid approach of the object, the air flew toward his face. Hair vividly stood on end. Chahyun almost simultaneously sensed the ball’s position and moved his body.Both legs and body floated into the air. Unintentionally, he ended up receiving the ball in the vague space near his chest. As his body rotated almost a half-turn back, the ball hit his instep with a heavy impact.The surroundings fell silent. The bustling sounds of colleagues running around and the shouts signaling each other disappeared somewhere, and only the dull sound of Chahyun’s body crashing to the ground echoed.Seated on the ground, Chahyun turned his body to look at the game goalpost behind him. The opponent’s goalkeeper, Lou Ekein, slid elegantly on the ground, stretching his arm. Chahyun’s kicked ball accurately slipped through the spiderweb-like gap, shaking the net. Everything seemed slow-motion, as if time had slowed down.It’s a goal.The impression of scoring after several weeks was merely that.Without even thinking of getting up from his position, Chahyun slowly turned his body to look ahead again. Teammates, who were once running around like statues, all stood still in the last place they were jumping. Amidst the silence, Jude alone slowly opened his mouth.“What did you just do?”“What did I just do?”Players looked blankly at Chahyun, who repeated Jude’s words like a painful parrot.“You just did a bicycle kick in a 7v7 mini-game, didn’t you?”“Me?”“Yes, you kicked it!”“What?” “Why is that guy like that?”Jude, with an incredulous expression, pointed his finger. Aloys, standing beside the seemingly numb-faced Chahyun, lifted him up. Even as he grasped his thick arm and rose, Chahyun entrusted his mind to a floating sensation that didn’t feel real.As if it were someone else’s gesture, very light… Looking at his dazed face, Aloys said, “Your reaction was no joke. Did you know the ball was coming?”“No, I heard Jude shouting, but…”“It seemed like you moved almost simultaneously with that.”With a bewildered feeling, Chahyun clenched and unclenched his hands. It felt like his senses were finely honed. It was a sensation that was not comparable to the faint feeling during open training, almost like going back a month. A strangely refreshing feeling lingered like an afterglow.“Yuan, you’re acting weird today. You haven’t seemed like yourself these past few days.”“…”“No, was it weird until now?”Aloys looked at Chahyun, raised one eyebrow, and then jumped to the back line. Only two minutes had passed since the game started. The players slowly began to roam the field again. Following them and absentmindedly moving his hands, Chahyun raised his hand and involuntarily touched his lips.***Chahyun sprinted up the stairs of the main building on the third floor of the Center as if flying. The goal was Winchester’s team doctor, Alana. It was late afternoon, but if he was lucky, she might not have left yet.After unexpectedly scoring the first goal in the mini-game during the afternoon training, Chahyun scored three more goals in a row. Due to the nature of the narrow field and the many players in mini-games, it was natural for many goals to be scored. However, it was not common for one person to record as many goals alone. Moreover, if the protagonist was Chahyun, who was currently struggling with a public slump.Therefore, every time the ball was sucked into the net one by one, his teammates all wore expressions as if they were scarecrows. Seeing Chahyun, who had been shooting the ball into the air even when positioned in front of the goalpost, for almost a month, it was not an unusual sight.However, the one most surprised by Chahyun’s performance was none other than himself. It was a vivid sensation, as if the tumultuous month had been a lie, as if he had returned to his original self. Chahyun vividly remembered his own concerns about participating in the public practice game to be held during open training just a few days ago. Moments ago, he had been soaked in the shadow of fear that had been entrenched in his heart for so long, a fear that seemed unsuitable for the prolonged period of failure.Is it really possible for the long-standing fear entrenched in the mind to disappear in an instant? If so, what could be the trigger?Thinking up to that point, Chahyun made a very irrational conjecture. A very strange and bizarre imagination that couldn’t be told to anyone. And simultaneously, the face of Alana flashed through his mind. Although she was a general surgeon, if she possessed a medical license, she would be able to provide some form of conclusion to Chahyun’s unfounded conjecture.“…Then, I’ll be on my way. Thank you for watching, Alana.”‘Misha…!’The voice suddenly stopping Chahyun, who was leaping up the stairs three steps at a time, was a familiar one. Seeing him, who seemed to have just finished today’s treatment, open the door of the medical office and come out, Chahyun instinctively hid his body inside the stairwell. Misha, as if not noticing him, went straight out of the door and moved slowly across the corridor to the opposite side.“…!”Leaning behind the wall, Chahyun watched Misha’s disappearing figure. He hadn’t done anything wrong, and what was there to hide from? However, Chahyun unconsciously knew the reason why he avoided meeting Misha face to face. It was probably…“Yuan, what are you doing there?”The person who peered at Chahyun, who was leaning against the wall, from right in front of his nose was Alana MacKnight herself, the purpose of Chahyun’s visit to the medical office.“Oh, Alana!”“We met like this here yesterday, didn’t we? Lately, Yuan, you’ve been around the medical office a lot.”“Oh, yeah… That’s true. It was like that yesterday too.”It seemed like Alana, who had come out to see off Misha, had discovered Chahyun, who was lurking awkwardly behind the wall. As one of the medical staff, she must be busy dealing with the problems that the club faced as well, but she always wore the same professional smile. Glancing at Chahyun’s embarrassed face, Alana approached and spoke in a low voice.“Misha, did you enjoy the cake?” Cake! He had completely forgotten. Truly, he had blacked it out. The existence of the cake… Well, it wasn’t a situation to leisurely indulge in cake.The cake that Yoon Chahyun had carefully picked up from the bakery that day would probably still be in the box, untouched, on the table inside the medical office. Perhaps Misha had taken it after Chahyun left, but at that time, it didn’t seem like she had noticed the cake’s presence. Anyway, both of them were so preoccupied.By now, the cake would be a daily staple for the injured players visiting the medical office. Looking at Alana’s face that reminded him of the existence of the cake, Yoon Chahyun awkwardly raised the corners of his mouth.“Yes… Probably.”“No wonder. You seem more energetic than usual. Right now, such trivial things might be important. Doctors can’t take care of everything. Even if it’s not said out loud, it might be quite challenging for them internally.”No, that kid is perfectly fine. Judging by the nonsense he’s spouting… Yoon Chahyun swallowed the words that had risen to his throat.Misha’s unique and melancholic atmosphere tended to make people think he was a very quiet and sentimental person. Only Yoon Chahyun knew that it was a façade. And if one could live without knowing that, it might be better… Looking at Chahyun, who was endlessly smiling like a deflated balloon, Alana raised an eyebrow in puzzlement and continued talking.“So, what brings you here today? Misha just left a moment ago…”“Oh, no. I wanted to ask Alana something.”“Really? What is it?”“That, tra…uma…”Unable to ask the full question, Yoon Chahyun stood still, staring at Alana’s face. This was because he had belatedly developed doubts about his choice of selecting Alana as his consultant.If he brought up stories about trauma or slumps here, it was very clear that Alana would associate it with some incident. She might immediately rush to the medical headquarters, informing them of the gravity of the situation and deciding to assign a dedicated personal coach for counseling to Chahyun. Although it was genuinely kind and meticulous, it was not the answer Chahyun was hoping for.Why didn’t he think about that? If thinking of medical knowledge was a mistake, recalling Alana’s face right away was also a mistake.“No, it’s nothing. I should try to figure it out on my own first. But if I become curious, I’ll ask for your help.”“Are you okay?”The observant doctor quickly noticed the defensive posture. Placing her hand on Chahyun’s arm, she wore a concerned expression and attentively scanned his condition, moving her perceptive gaze as if trying to assess his state. Even though he knew there was no reason for it, there was something about that look that made Chahyun turn his head away. The speculations brewing deep within his heart were not something others should know.“If anything happens, you must inform me immediately. Okay, Yoon?”“I got it. Don’t worry too much.”In a slow retreat as if wondering when he had rushed over, Alana couldn’t erase the worried expression. With a slight sense of guilt for causing unnecessary concern, Chahyun turned and hurried down the stairs.***Returning after having dinner with his colleagues, it was already late at night. Despite the various body movements during the training after the mini-games, Jood approached Chahyun, encouraging him to eat or have a drink. It was supposedly in celebration of the end of the slump, even though it wasn’t confirmed yet, they all already had proud faces.Chahyun, who had prepared early upon returning home, lay on the living room sofa, holding his phone.Although he had assured Alana that he would figure things out on his own, in reality, Yoon Chahyun could only rely on the vast sea of the internet to search for professional knowledge. Still, it was better than bothering the medical staff with personal concerns. Chahyun pressed the search bar of the portal site, immersed in a brief contemplation.What should I search for… This crazy story.As he pondered, Chahyun eventually entered a few words into the search bar.[Slump. Treatment. Methods.]As soon as his fingertip touched the search button, an enormous amount of results unfolded like potato sprouts. Chahyun read through the countless texts on the screen diagonally. Finding the information he wanted within this vast volume of results was no easy task. After scrolling through the screen for about ten minutes, Chahyun stopped at a knowledge response post. It wasn’t a perfect match to his search terms, but the essence seemed quite similar. Deciding to give it a try, he clicked on the link, and a specialized response immediately appeared before him.[Fear disorders refer to a series of neurological conditions that manifest strong aversions to specific objects or behaviors. Such aversions can be so severe as to interfere with daily life…]Indeed, this is too much. Just because I can’t kick a ball well… Of course, Yoon Chahyun makes a living out of it.Chahyun carefully swiped the screen with his finger and posted the following:[…There are various methods for treatment, including medication therapy and counseling, but exposure therapy, in particular, has shown excellent results. Literally exposing the individual to the phenomenon they fear…]From there on, the content Chahyun had been searching for all along continued. His scrolling hand slowed down.[…Exposure therapy includes two methods: systematic desensitization and flooding. Systematic desensitization involves gradually exposing the individual to the subject. For example, showing the shape of the word ‘chicken’ and pronouncing it at first, then gradually presenting pictures and images of chickens, followed by slowly making contact with a real chicken to alleviate the emotions toward the subject…]Yoon Chahyun’s pupils dilated. The text kept going.[…And flooding therapy involves placing several chickens in the room where the individual is present.]“Crazy!”Chahyun unintentionally stood up from his seat. How on earth could that be…He couldn’t stop his heart from pounding at the absurd method of alleviating symptoms through shocking contact with the feared subject. Even though it might be a cruel and sad method, it seemed to be a somewhat generalized treatment. Yoon Chahyun, an average person like him, couldn’t dare to speak about such standardized and confirmed theories.Can such a method really lead to the healing of a patient? Is it really possible with that kind of approach… Chahyun raised his hand to touch his forehead.Unfortunately, Yoon Chahyun couldn’t help but doubt it. Because it somewhat coincided with the hypothesis he had unconsciously formed. Chahyun sat back down, pressing his elbows against his knees. Then he covered his mouth with his hand and bowed his head, like a piece of the Rodin’s sculpture.What came to his mind in the silent thoughts was the Korean match that marked the beginning of the month-long slump. The repercussions of Misha’s sudden behavior started to affect him from that point onward. The kiss on that day, freezing him in place and rendering him unable to move or say anything.What rose in his mind was the Korean match that marked the beginning of the month-long slump. The repercussions of Misha’s sudden behavior started to affect him from that point onward. The kiss on that day, freezing him in place and rendering him unable to move or say anything.To overcome that persistent slump, Yoon Chahyun dedicated himself to training all day and even took several days off. It’s absurd that such a thing happened just because of that. It was amusing and absurd, but it was an undeniable reality. Chahyun’s thoughts then shifted to the Korean match that marked the beginning of the month-long slump, a day when Misha’s impulsive action set off the chain of events. The moment of that persistent downturn began with that kiss. Trying to overcome that persistent slump, Yoon Chahyun devoted himself to training all day, and even took several days off at a stretch. Just to think that it could be resolved so easily in just one day.And if we follow this exposure theory, the reason Yoon Chahyun’s slump suddenly began to unravel…This can’t be, can it? Chahyun tightly closed his eyes. No, no. It’s not about giving a disease and then a cure… Even though being trapped in the same room with a chicken might be possible, there is no therapy involving kissing chickens.It shouldn’t exist.“Hongsam!”Chahyun shouted towards the bedroom. Through the half-open door, the sound of a large beast waking up and rushing with four legs could be heard. Eventually, Hongsam’s head popped out, and Chahyun spread his arms wide. The bulky Hongsam, bouncing like a rabbit, jumped into Chahyun’s arms. Despite the overwhelming weight and recoil, it brought a warm sense of comfort.“There’s no way it would happen like that. Right?”With closed eyes, Chahyun, nestled in the arms of his speechless friend, silently thought about the uncertain future.***The two days of training leading up to the Birmingham game were anything but smooth sailing.During that time, Yoon Chahyun soared across the field like a bird. It felt as if his body, submerged in water for a long time, had finally floated to the surface. Although the trainers and coaches anxiously chased after Yoon Chahyun, fearing a potential injury, they were helpless against a rejuvenated Chahyun.Yoon Chahyun’s recovery had a ripple effect on other teammates. From Leroy, who had always been expressionless, to the overall improvement in the players’ skills, the impact was evident. Jood enthusiastically pounded Chahyun’s back with fists and palms every time he displayed a good performance, and thanks to that, Chahyun had no plans to erase the faint bruises on his back.As the entire club buzzed with renewed expectations for victory, Yoon Chahyun was the only one immersed in an odd discomfort. Despite achieving the long-awaited escape from the slump. From the moment he tried to find the cause alone and acquired unnecessary information, a new strangeness followed Yoon Chahyun’s every move.If he hadn’t displayed unnecessary curiosity that day, he might have been able to accept this sudden stroke of luck with joy. Yoon Chahyun kept suspecting the hidden cause behind it all. As if he were ingesting a potent medicine containing suspicious ingredients… Nevertheless, Yoon Chahyun had no choice but to surrender to the mysterious efficacy, with nothing else he could do but entrust his body to that strange effect.