Kiss the Ground

It would have been great if it looked good on the surface; after all, it wasn’t a bad development. Winchester needed a victory.***After completing the final morning practice before the game, Yoon Chahyun leaned against the empty bag in the lounge. The lounge was equipped with various tools for players’ entertainment, including games and gaming devices. However, there were no players with enough leisure to pick up a gaming console just before the match. Thanks to that, the quiet lounge belonged solely to Yoon Chahyun.Yoon Chahyun leaned his head back. Surrounded by walls that blocked all external noise, immersed in silence, Chahyun recalled the morning contact from the police.On that day, it was revealed that the man who ultimately attacked Misha had motives rooted in simple greed. The person on the other end of the phone stated it in a stern voice.Under police interrogation, the man changed his statement several times. At first, he said he hated Yoon Chahyun so much, and then he said he loved Yoon Chahyun too much. The man, who repeated ridiculous excuses, only made a meaningful statement last night.It was an extravagant obsession that sought to ride on Yoon Chahyun’s fame. At the beginning were items he had filled a bag with Yoon Chahyun’s autographs. It was a desire and ambition to give new value to those items by inflicting injuries severe enough to end the player’s career. If successful, Yoon Chahyun would undoubtedly have suffered damage equivalent to retirement, and the signature he left in the history of his downfall would have become highly valuable…Unbelievable. Chahyun clenched his fist.All because of such a reason, Misha.Regarding the confiscated photos and videos, the man readily accepted that he waited for his actions as if he were proud of it. Greed… In the voice of the official conveying the unbelievably trivial motive, hesitation gradually crept in. However, what dominated Yoon Chahyun’s emotions was cold anger.The loud siren began as Chahyun was gazing up at the lounge’s white glass ceiling.The only person with a personal ringtone besides family… As Chahyun recalled the face that was somewhat familiar yet unwelcome, he twisted his expression alone while no one was watching. Should he accept this call or not? However, considering the eerie determination of the opponent, who always seized any moment of Chahyun’s leisure like a ghost, there was simply no way to ignore it.“Hello.”—The later you pick up, the later you’ll answer.“You keep calling more and more often…”In Yoon Chahyun’s cynical tone, the other side chuckled without any sign of irritation.Cheon Sungjoo. A figure within Yoon Chahyun’s agency responsible for connecting and managing media exposure, mass media activities, and sports events. Although he had been like a manager overseeing Yoon Chahyun’s activities for nearly ten years, now he felt more like a distant relative, someone focused on making money.― Well, you knew I’d call when it was time. Is your body okay now? You went through quite an ordeal.“I knew it was okay even before you did. Did you contact my parents, too?”― Yeah, man. They were so worried. How are you?“I’m grateful, but…”Really grateful. Yoon Chahyun’s voice sounded somewhat sluggish, as if he already knew what Sungjoo was going to bring up. Whether he couldn’t hear that sulky tone or was pretending not to, Sungjoo asserted quite neatly,“Our team has just arrived in the UK.”“Already?”― What do you mean ‘already’? We arrived late. We couldn’t even attend the club training center practice because of that crazy guy’s incident. We have to start filming right away, and it’s a completely insane situation.“Oh, I see. No wonder I haven’t seen your face.”― But you’ll see it for real tomorrow, Yoon Chahyun.Chahyun let out a long sigh. He knew it was an unavoidable matter as long as he was tied to the contract. However, when the time came, it felt daunting.During last year’s group stage when the tournament was still far away, Sungjoo sent him a stack of documents, and the title adorned on the top page of the paper pile was as follows:「Working Title: Documentary Yoon Chahyun ― Record of Advancing to the Champions League」No… He’s barely struggling in the group stage, and the title sounds like someone is pounding kimchi soup with a drum, isn’t it? Despite trying to protest rationally, it was meaningless resistance in the face of Sungjoo’s greedy gaze that lit up.Of course, we have to advance to the Round of 16. There are quite a few compatriots waiting for Yoon Chahyun to win in Chosun Paldo. With such audacity in his argument and the astonishing persuasiveness that claimed a soccer player should make money while young so he can comfortably shoot parenting entertainment shows and spend his old age, Yoon Chahyun simply had to yield to it all.Unbelievably, the program involved close coverage of Yoon Chahyun’s daily life, with an entertaining focus aimed at fans. The content was very casual, adorned with self-cameras and daily focuses. For Yoon Chahyun, who maintained a monotone attitude even in victory interviews, it was incredibly alien.Moreover, now… Now it wasn’t a situation to film close surveillance of private life. A face resembling someone’s naughty puppy brushed under the eyelids.“Hyung, can’t you pass it to Park Jung now? He’s doing well in Germany.”― Make it make sense. And we’ll shoot separately next spring.“…”The raccoon-like smirk of Park Jung, who resembled a mischievous puppy, floated and disappeared in his mind. A guy who scored goals with performance and showmanship, and when he wasn’t scoring, he flaunted ceremonies with girl group dances. It would be the perfect program for someone like Park Jung, even saying it’s a stage made just for him would not be an exaggeration.― Oh right, we voted again for the documentary title on the internet. The last one was a working title.“What is it?”― Cha-cha-cha Together…“Ack!”Yoon Chahyun screamed out, covering his eyes. Extreme disgust overwhelmed his body.― Chahyun! Calm down and listen to hyung. Hyung can explain.“I really hate it when they use my real name for this! It’s nauseating!”― Well, what can you do? People like it. Do you know how easy it is for your name, a ‘Cha,’ to fit into soccer player names? It’s not an exaggeration to say it’s perfect with lime flavor, good meaning, and everything.“But what can I do if that’s my name since birth?”― That’s what I’m saying. Coach Kim finally drew the big picture, it’s a waste not to use it and just pass by.Coach Kim. Yoon Chahyun’s mother. If she played handball or baseball, could she have escaped this profound fate? It was a pointless contemplation.“Hyung, really… Can’t you change it back to the working title? I also have an image, you know.”― What’s your image?“A bit indifferent, but when I do it, I do it…”―You’re less self-objective than you think.“Hyung, ugh!”―Oh dear. Don’t pout. I don’t know if we’ll have time to meet before the game tomorrow, so I’ll tell you in advance, really do well. Don’t kick the ball into the sky so you can’t pull the footage.“That’s not how it is anymore!”―By the way, you can still kiss.“Hyung!”That’s when it hit. Ignoring Yoon Chahyun’s whining, Cheon Sungjoo ruthlessly hung up the phone. That guy… He’s the most problematic, but hyung doesn’t know that. Without being able to say those words, Yoon Chahyun was holding the receiver absentmindedly.***Yoon Chahyun headed towards the locker room with his team bag. Perhaps because he spent a long time alone in the lounge, there were already few players in the club. It remains to be seen whether they’ve already gone back and are getting foot massages before the upcoming match.Walking down the corridor, Yoon Chahyun recalled his conversation with Cheon Sungjoo. How do you use a self-camera anyway? So, it must be something like holding a camera in your hand, filming this and that, and muttering something alone. What on earth is that? Something like a vlog or something? However, the legal constraints restraining Chahyun were too powerful.If you shoot something like that, naturally, colleagues will come in, and if you shoot colleagues, he can’t be left out.Is it really okay? Revealing the everyday life with him. Recently, Yoon Chahyun had been entangled with Misha Asplund more often, but he still couldn’t predict where he would turn.That day was like that too. After suddenly demanding a kiss and then boldly clinging, and more than that, Yoon Chahyun at that moment was even more out of it… The memory of the moment when the kiss ended vividly came to mind, as if it happened just a few minutes ago.After a not too short but not too long kiss, Yoon Chahyun slowly pulled back. It was strange that even after a few seconds of contact, the warmth of the other person remained on the lips. The strong smell of bitter medicine that scattered like smoke was particularly vivid for a few seconds at the tip of the nose.And Yoon Chahyun got up from his seat and left the medical room. Like an elementary school kid who did something wrong, he ran away. Normally, it would have been shrugged off with just a pat on the shoulder, but he couldn’t even do that. If involved with Misha, Yoon Chahyun always faced an unfamiliar side of himself. It’s normal for Misha Asplund to be crazy. But it’s also correct that Yoon Chahyun is crazy.Entering the locker room, Yoon Chahyun checked for In-yeong and found himself stopping his feet without realizing it.“Sigh….” It’s truly unusual for things to turn out like this. Inside this vast building, what are the chances of two people deciding to stay in the same place at the same time?Misha had his back turned to the mirror, raising his hand to his face. Whether he was adjusting the bandage or still unaware of Yoon Chahyun’s presence, Chahyun stood still by the door, supporting himself with both legs.“Misha.”Calling him first was not out of arrogance; there’s no other way to express it. Surely, even if he had just turned and left, Misha wouldn’t have noticed. Misha slowly turned his back and looked at Chahyun. Looking at his face covered with thick gauze, Chahyun realized that it was already too late to turn the situation around in various ways.***The gauze covering Misha’s face was dazzlingly bright. Yoon Chahyun couldn’t help but think that the color somehow resembled piled-up snow, despite knowing it was inappropriate to bring up. There was a similar aspect in the way both chilled the end of the heart, making it feel icy when looked at, although in that regard, they were similar.“Yuan.”Misha turned his whole body completely. The reason the peculiar feeling typical of a patient with a large wound was less pronounced was probably because the green mesh that covered his face had disappeared. Recalling that uncomfortable appearance, Chahyun took one step into the locker room.“…Attaching it to the face has changed from last time. How does it look?”It was ironic that the topic of conversation about wounds was the most appropriate topic to choose right now. Inevitable but still.“It’s gotten much better. The healing speed is like that of a beast.”“Did she really say that? Alana?”“Really. So now it’s not very painful, but it’s a bit itchy.”In response to Yoon Chahyun’s words, which Alana used unfiltered words, he awkwardly forgot the situation for a moment and smiled. It reminded him of the doctor’s tone, who, while discussing the cake, with a more serious expression, said he should take the cake out now. But what was even more interesting was the story that came up about Misha himself afterward.“You also feel itchy when your wounds heal.”“Yes.”“It’s the same.” Looking at Chahyun’s face with a faint smile remaining, Misha made a puzzled expression, not understanding what he meant. The fact that, like any other person, new flesh and sensation formed in the injured area also somehow put Yoon Chahyun in a very strange mood.Was it because he owned such unconventional common sense? Or was it because he simply didn’t look like an ordinary person? Yoon Chahyun couldn’t figure out the reason. Before Misha could express his doubts, he quickly continued speaking.“When it happens, scratching or touching it can cause big trouble. Absolutely do not touch it.”“Not touch.”“You were touching it hard earlier.”“….”Misha, like a child caught lying, blatantly avoided eye contact. It was a clear sign that he didn’t realize Chahyun had been watching.“You’re going to do exercises outside in the morning? I heard from Jude.”“If I stay still, my body might stiffen. I might be on the substitution list for the Birmingham match.”“Blue would never allow that…”Misha shrugged his shoulders. His nonchalant expression more than anything else stimulated Chahyun’s emotions.Yoon Chahyun knew well the feeling of being unable to play in a match just before the game due to a sudden injury. The sense of isolation and emptiness when alone, having to endure a full 90 minutes while watching teammates roam the field, goes beyond imagination. And more than anything else, the fact that he played a significant role in causing Misha to experience such pain was clearer than anything else.Rather, if he could experience the pain in his place. Wouldn’t that feeling be better than now?Yoon Chahyun closed his mouth and averted his gaze. Misha, likewise, approached Chahyun without saying a word. Looking down as his clean outdoor shoes met his own practice shoes, Yoon Chahyun knew that what was starting now was the main point of this encounter.What happened in the medical room that day… They couldn’t move forward without addressing it. Yoon Chahyun closed his eyes tightly to endure the distant sense of obligation. As always, he waited for Misha to say something shocking and absurd. The role of the child avoiding eye contact was Yoon Chahyun’s job this time.But the air strangely became silent…“Why aren’t you saying anything…” The guy who used to rush in without considering others’ circumstances, throwing only what he wanted to say, was now standing several inches above Chahyun, looking down at his forehead in silence.Yoon Chahyun swallowed dry saliva. It felt like an eternity had passed.There’s a psychological technique like that. If you want someone to speak, use silence. Then the other person can’t overcome the painful silence and eventually opens their mouth to fill the void. When Yoon Chahyun read such gossip on some random news site, he thought it could be a useful skill, but he never thought he would become the subject of that experiment.Yoon Chahyun pursed his lips like a trout. Born with a personality that likes to take control, there are moments when it’s easier to be dominated. It was the first time he had ever thought such a thing.“That day…!”“That,”If only one more second had passed! Yoon Chahyun clenched his teeth to the point that a faint grinding sound could be heard due to the cheap comedy-like situation where the beginning of his words got mixed up. Misha’s face, hastily looked up at, was more absurd as he made a polite face, as if saying, “Please go ahead.” Yoon Chahyun closed his eyes tightly and blurted out.“What happened that day?”What am I going to say? Yoon Chahyun couldn’t even guess his own intention, and he stopped breathing.In this world, there are irreversible things. Many times, fate is reversed with just a few seconds of judgment. Having taken sports as a profession, Yoon Chahyun deeply realized how meaningless retrospection after the game was more than anyone else.So? Will I declare that I will take responsibility for others’ hearts with just a momentary kiss? Or will I say it was an uncontrollable impulse? Do I have the courage to say either of them right now? Yoon Chahyun had no confidence even up to this moment when his mouth was open.“That… That incident.”“I understand.”It was a calm voice. Yoon Chahyun lifted his head. Misha, who looked at Chahyun, repeating words like a broken toy, was watching him with a composed gaze.“You just gave me a reward. Because I demanded it. It wasn’t your will.”“…”.“In that moment, you might have empathized with me, or perhaps felt guilty.”Misha slightly shrugged his shoulders.“Maybe you didn’t think anything of it at all.”“Misha, I…”“But now, that’s enough.”Misha suddenly reached out and took Yoon Chahyun’s fingers. Like a shy kindergartener holding a partner’s hand for a fork dance, he barely grasped the tips of the index and middle fingers.“Whether it’s empathy, guilt, or even regret, it’s okay. If you think about it a lot.”Misha brought Chahyun’s hand to his cheek. It was the direction of the wound. The soft yet sharp texture of the gauze touched the fingertips. It bore traces of sacrifice, affection, and selfishness. His hand and the warmth beyond the gauze were subtly warm. Perhaps Yoon Chahyun wasn’t the only one feeling tense.Ah, truly unfathomable… The guy who spilled all his words just by holding hands was despicable, and Yoon Chahyun’s heart fluttered for a moment.Misha Asplund is a relentless opportunist. As he said, Yoon Chahyun will never forget this incident. The despair when he saw Misha’s wound and the profound relief when he realized Misha was unharmed. Yoon Chahyun now understands that the person who left an indelible mark on him is not the one who wielded the sword, but the one who stood in front of him.Yoon Chahyun lowered the hand that had been on Misha’s face, clenched his fist, and pressed it against Misha’s shoulder. It was solid enough not to crumble no matter how much it was pushed, pulled, struck, or pressed. Chahyun knows that well, having played countless games together. The vibration of Misha’s heartbeat under the fist was felt beneath his chest. Although the words he wanted to say lightly rippled in his throat like shallow waves, extracting the words to be said was infinitely painful.“That person…”Yoon Chahyun pressed his fist firmly against Misha’s shoulder.“That person confessed.”“I know.”“Yesterday, he talked.”“Yeah.”“That person just…”Chahyun rested his forehead on Misha’s other shoulder. Somewhere, because he desperately needed a place to lean on. He knew Misha Asplund shouldn’t be such a partner. Since he sacrificed himself for Yoon Chahyun, he didn’t need to endure Chahyun’s other emotions.Chahyun realized he was just playing along with Misha’s unwavering kindness. It was an unavoidable act of cowardice.“Just to… hurt me and gain something, you did it, right?”“…”“So, because of that… because of that reason, you…”His throat tightened. Misha, the direct victim of the incident, couldn’t be unaware of the specific details. Perhaps he heard it even before Yoon Chahyun. However, it seemed unbearable unless they brought it up between themselves.Having lived under the gaze of countless people, why was he still so naive? Why didn’t that work out so well? After learning numerous criticisms, humiliations, and unwarranted hostilities justified by interest and popularity… Just because it had a slightly friendly glow, it caused such a significant upheaval.It was pathetic and lingering. Yoon Chahyun exhaled shaking breath onto Misha’s shoulder.“It’s all okay.”Misha’s calm voice dropped at that moment. He didn’t say anything else. He didn’t embrace Yoon Chahyun, nor did he touch his shoulder. So, the contact with Misha was solely Yoon Chahyun’s decision.After two unnecessary kisses and tossing nonsense about what to do during a match, it was oddly amusing to just stand there doing nothing when someone was weakening. At this moment, he could probably offer at least a warm hug under the pretext of comfort and support. Yoon Chahyun’s lifeless laughter echoed against Misha’s shoulder.However, more than any superficial comfort, the firmness of a body standing and the sharpness of a concise word were stronger. Now, wasn’t that enough to support Yoon Chahyun’s legs?Yoon Chahyun straightened his shaking body. Then, keeping his fist clenched, he thumped Misha’s shoulder.“You’re definitely advancing to the quarterfinals.”At the low and clear voice, Misha’s eyes widened slightly, looking surprised. It was an expression as if he thought Chahyun was about to cry. As if that would be foolish, shedding tears before a match, because it drains the moisture.“So, recover quickly from your injuries.”“Yuan….”Misha’s face, sending a dumbfounded gaze, looked a bit softer for the first time in a long time. Seeing the somewhat childish expression, Yoon Chahyun leaned back a bit and flicked his chin with his fingertips. Even though teammates often engage in countless skinships, Misha was surprised and nodded out of sync, caught off guard. His fidgeting, not fitting with his handsome face, was slightly cute.Yoon Chahyun picked up the team bag he had laid on the floor. The strange determination running through his body seemed like it wouldn’t subside without shedding at least a bit of sweat. He thought he should visit the weight room once more before the game. Despite his efforts to unwrap it, it was inevitable that it would be messed up again.Yoon Chahyun stepped out of the locker room and glanced back at Misha inside the door once more. He remembered a similar incident not long ago. It was the day Misha confessed his feelings to Chahyun. However, unlike the quiet face at that time, Misha’s face, looking back at him as he stepped out the door, had a slightly contemplative expression.Chahyun stepped into the corridor, firmly planting one foot after another. The view was clear for the first time in a long while. Stepping into the corridor with the afternoon sun shining, he thought about the victory he had to grasp in his hands.After a long preparation, the game was about to begin.