Kiss the Ground

The UK was in the late afternoon. Yoon Chahyun jumped out of the taxi as if flying, grabbing his suitcase without the driver’s assistance. With the sound of the wheels groaning as if they might break during the rough movement, Chahyun walked towards the building entrance, slipping his hand into the pocket of his training suit. At the end of the familiar path, a large glass building came into view.“Winchester United Football Club”Yoon Chahyun had caught a red-eye flight right after last night’s game, crossing over to England. With only about a week of stay, he had the advantage of not having any interviews or broadcasting schedules lined up. Of course, the sports industry and the internet would make some noise about Chahyun’s sudden departure, but it would be noisy for a while.Ignoring colleagues who grabbed him, saying it’s not a big deal if he didn’t score a goal, Chahyun pushed through and went straight back home from the stadium. His parents and younger sister looked at Chahyun with eyes that flickered like lanterns, but they knew he was not the eldest son who would listen just because they told him to stop. Chahyun inherited only two things from his mother: soccer skills and stubbornness.“I’ll be back after the league ends.”Without changing his clothes, Chahyun walked out of the front door, and his family saw him off like a local magistrate swearing to come back before the alcohol cools. That was how much there was a sharp glint in Chahyun’s eyes.Entering the club, Yoon Chahyun’s first encounter was with Leroy. Leroy, strolling casually through the lobby with a flat white in one hand, almost spat out all the coffee in his mouth at Chahyun’s sudden appearance. Why is Yoon here? Meeting Leroy’s gaze that seemed to say so, Chahyun silently climbed the stairs of the building.The second encounter was with Jude. Spotting Chahyun on the staircase to the second floor, Jude, rubbing his eyes as if he had seen something wrong, was startled when he realized it wasn’t a hallucination. “Yuan? You’re already here? It seems a bit early for two days.”“What about Misha Asplund?”Glancing up and down at Chahyun as if disbelieving, Jude quickly caught his breath at Chahyun’s dry question. Then, after rolling his eyes a few times, he pointed slowly inside the lounge with his finger.“In the locker room…”Without a glance, Chahyun walked straight ahead, dragging his suitcase. Flying 5,400 miles, step by step, two steps, one step closer.Yoon Chahyun approached the door leading to the locker room and waved his hand over the sensor. The door, as if welcoming his return after several days, opened wide, revealing the interior. Someone who had been sitting with an air of popularity looked up.Damn brown hair. It was Misha Asplund.Yoon Chahyun swung his suitcase aside as if throwing it away. The luggage, slammed onto the floor, made a forlorn sound as if it might break, but he paid no attention. The floor of the newly built Winchester United Club Center locker room, at astronomical cost, probably couldn’t have a single scratch.However, Misha couldn’t muster composure in the face of Chahyun’s sudden entrance. Pulling out his earphones and looking up, Misha’s expression was no different from the other two colleagues he had met here. Watching Chahyun, who entered the locker room with a flashy presence along with his battered suitcase, Misha slowly rose from his seat. A puzzled expression appeared on his face as he uttered the expected words.“Yuan, you came quickly.”No, I just arrived now. It wasn’t right for Misha to say that. He had waited half a day to meet the guy, and then it took another day. Even though he could see that brown hair in the newspaper he grabbed to wrap his soccer shoes or in the news headline on his phone, it took a long time to face it directly. Too much time for something in Yoon Chahyun to change.Misha silently stared at Chahyun with eyes like a dog’s. Chahyun felt as if his insides were twisting. Unpleasant emotions gathered inside like dark clouds.Being in the media spotlight or becoming a subject of public ridicule was okay. Yoon Chahyun was not the type to be overly concerned about such things. Honestly, there was even something amusing about it.However, Misha Asplund, the guy whose actions affected Yoon Chahyun himself, was a different dimension of a problem. Yoon Chahyun loved soccer, and that love had to be free of any impurities. Losing face and ruining the outcome by the actions of others was never the intention. In that sense, Misha was the culprit who played a prank on Yoon Chahyun’s most precious thing, like a mischievous child spilling watercolor on a drawing. That small ripple disturbed Yoon Chahyun’s inner world, and the miserable result was yesterday’s game.Something hot surged in his stomach. Regaining his senses, Chahyun found himself rushing towards Misha.“Ugh!”For a very brief moment, Chahyun grabbed the collar of Misha’s training suit and pushed him against the locker behind. Even though their builds were slightly different, the body language of a person with the intention to attack and one without was evident. Misha, who was standing still, was abruptly caught off guard by the sudden grip and sat down on the floor without hesitation. The collided locker made a dull sound.Grasping the nape of Misha’s neck and forcefully pressing his back against the locker, Chahyun’s hand made it seem like a very short moment. Despite instinctively trying to free himself by overlapping his hands, Misha couldn’t withstand the strength that Chahyun had already gained in position.Chahyun looked down at Misha with sharp eyes. Resentment and anger, or some unknown emotion in that vicinity, swirled within him. Not striking Misha’s face was due to the remaining trace of Chahyun’s reason, and not breaking Misha’s rib by slamming him into the locker was a bit of respect as fellow players. Of course, among them, blaming the agent was undeniable.“Yuan….”As if the sleepy feeling was unbearable, Misha turned his head to the side. Strands of hair scattered, revealing his white cheek in front of Chahyun’s eyes. It was an irresistibly tempting cheek slap. The only defense between Misha’s face and Chahyun’s fist was Misha’s body value, worth 60 million euros. Chahyun had to fight against impulsiveness. It was a moment of life and death where a weekly wage could fly away in exchange for delivering a satisfying punch.“Did you watch my game?”In Chahyun’s subdued voice, Misha frowned. It was an expression that indicated he didn’t understand English.“I asked if you watched my game. The one I played in Korea.”In a low urging tone, Misha nodded in response. It seemed strange that he got even more annoyed when asked if he watched it. He had been watching the ground, witnessing the shooting that exploded like a landmine. You have no idea how I felt standing on that field.Yoon Chahyun released the grip on Misha’s neck. He had to answer Chahyun’s next question.“Why did you… do that to me?”However, when he brought the question that had lingered in his chest out into the open, somehow the tension eased. It was because the question sounded so childish and foolish when spoken aloud.“Why did you kiss me back then….”Did you kiss me? Closing his eyes, Chahyun blurred the ending.What reason could there be? For such a kiss. Probably just because he won. Blaming Misha, but in reality, Chahyun felt the most ridiculous and awkward. The Chahyun from four days ago was mature enough not to react to the impulsive actions of a 23-year-old teammate, but not anymore. Something was making Chahyun clumsy and desperate. He had thought that having an awkward relationship with Misha should be avoided, but the one making the situation the most awkward was none other than Yoon Chahyun himself.“…Fine.”His arms, lost in direction, dropped down.“Enough….”Self-disgust rose like cold water under Chahyun, but the words he had spoken couldn’t be taken back. Unable to meet Misha’s eyes, Chahyun blankly stared at the disheveled front of his upper garment. There were red marks on Misha’s white neck, traces left by Chahyun’s harsh scratching while grabbing his neck.“Really pathetic.”With a subtle self-disgust, Chahyun took a step back. Misha, standing up, suddenly grabbed Chahyun’s shoulders with his large hands.In the abrupt movement, Chahyun instinctively raised his head. Before he realized, Misha’s face was right in front of his nose. His gray eyes, facing Chahyun’s, held a strange gaze that was neither defiance nor anger, but something peculiar.“…Misha, you…”“Yuan.”The moment of exchanging glances and calling each other’s names was almost simultaneous. In the unexpected distance, Chahyun felt like he had lost control for a moment. Misha turned the hand that was holding his shoulder and pulled Chahyun closer.Their chests touched, just like that day.“I kissed Yuan because I like Yuan.”His voice was rhythmic, like delivering a composed statement. It was impossible to mishear. However, hearing and understanding were completely different. Even though it was a sentence with both subject and object, Chahyun couldn’t comprehend it. With Misha holding him close, he stood there blankly.“Like Yuan?”“Yeah.”“Do you like me?”“Yes. I like you.”Misha repeated every word slowly and clearly, like a patient English teacher. It seemed as if he anticipated that Chahyun wouldn’t grasp his words all at once. Yoon Chahyun stood there, somewhat lacking, with Misha against his chest.“Misha. Your words, the meaning of being on the same team…”“Sexually. Yuan, it means I like you.”“Sexually…”“Yeah. In that way.”After repeating the same conversation several times like a broken tape, Yoon Chahyun took a step back. Misha accepted the distance smoothly. Their chests, which had touched, slowly separated.Misha Asplund likes me. That’s why he kissed me. In the midst of a crazy soccer game.“Really?”Misha nodded. After the sudden confession, he had the expression of a stray dog, thirsty for affection yet somehow patiently awaiting the end.“Since when?”“From the first time we met. I’ve always liked you.”With an honest answer without hiding or embarrassment, Yoon Chahyun’s mouth hung open. Wow, this is really not our usual emotional exchange… Naturally, he recalled the moment when he first met Misha.Last year, a twenty-two-year-old player from the Swedish league Alsvenskan. Misha, with excellent physical conditions and outstanding skills, quickly joined a big English club in the Premier League. Misha, who was not particularly sociable, seemed to be trying hard to adapt to a foreign league. Whether it reminded him of his younger days when he struggled to adapt to a strange league, or for some reason, Chahyun deliberately took Misha around, from staff gatherings to players’ lunch.As they became a bit closer, Chahyun discovered that Misha, despite being reserved and quiet, had a quite affectionate personality. The soft gaze and submissive attitude that appeared only to those who became somewhat familiar, along with unexpectedly liking simple food and having the surprising ability to play the piano with large hands.However, after Misha actively started mingling with the team, the distance between him and Chahyun gradually increased. Well, it was natural. Even if they were in the same team, the age difference generally led to different groups. It wasn’t particularly sad for Chahyun, who had raised him, to see him start to look after himself.But now, Misha was saying that he liked Yoon Chahyun. Where did it start? Was there any sign of that? Did he miss something? In the gaze that followed Chahyun, something beyond the animalistic instinct of a creature that first extends its hand to the one it sees…His head started to ache, and Chahyun touched his forehead.“Misha, it’s not me. I’m sorry, but…”“I know.”I know. Yoon Chahyun waited for Misha’s follow-up, but that was it. He didn’t add that he would give up or quit. Instead, the strangely eerie silence was filled with Chahyun’s stuttering voice.“So, was that kiss just… not just because? Not congratulations but because you liked me?”“Sorry. I should have held back, but, until now, just like how it has been… I couldn’t help it at that moment.”“What?”“Because you were so cool back then.”“….”“I didn’t plan to reveal it like this.”With unexpected words, Chahyun looked at the other person’s face in astonishment. Misha, who uttered the words, had a somewhat embarrassed expression. Looking at the speechless Chahyun, he hesitated a bit and added.“If you do something like that once, it seemed impossible for me to stop afterward.”“No… what?”“What should I do, Yuan? If I can’t stop anymore.”Misha directed a serious gaze. Chahyun stood still as if he were a wooden doll.However, more shocking than that was the sound that pierced the eardrums in the next moment.“If I score next time, you have to run far away. As far away as possible from me… to a place where I can’t kiss you.”What on earth is this?With a threatening tone, he lowered his eyebrows. Misha’s anxious face, saying he didn’t know what he might do, was real. Chahyun stood there feeling like he had received a back-kick to the back of his head. What on earth is this lunatic talking about?“What the hell is that?”The noisy footsteps and the opening door of the locker room marked the moment just before Chahyun’s inner outcry spilled out.“Yuan, Misha! Stop this. Is it reasonable for teammates to fight like this?”What poured into the room was a few Winchester FC players and staff. It seemed like Jude had gathered everyone who had stayed at the club until late afternoon. Beside Jude, who was rolling his eyes vigorously, Leroy with an uneasy expression and Luga, with a stern face, stood.The staff couldn’t help but look at Misha’s disheveled appearance and Chahyun’s complexion. They clumsily surrounded Misha, as if trying to protect him, and fidgeted busily. Misha, surrendering himself to the staff who were checking his body here and there, silently stared at the floor.Seeing that, Jude could roughly imagine what he had called them for. Yoon Chahyun, who had just returned from Korea, was messing with Misha in the locker room. Leroy’s trembling eyebrows, who was frightened, represented the chaotic situation.However, he grasped the wrong point by a long shot.“If there’s a conflict, resolve it through dialogue. Don’t you think engaging in a physical fight as a professional player is unprofessional?”The club’s longest-serving goalkeeper, Luga, spoke in a naive voice. The intimidation from his raised hand was exceptional.“Yeah, right. Yuan… whatever it is, you should calm down.”“It’s late. Let’s end this without causing any more trouble today.”The people gathered in the center of the locker room began to disperse at Ru’s gesture. Amidst this, the staff surrounding Misha kept him embraced and comforted like a wounded baby bird. Chahyun stood awkwardly feeling like he was a thug who had abused an animal. As Jude came behind, he quietly whispered to Chahyun.“Why did you beat him up that Misha’s clothes are so torn? Should’ve done it more discreetly.”No. It’s me who got beaten.He wanted to say that, but in the crowd, Chahyun couldn’t say anything. Pushing through the bustling crowd, Chahyun left the locker room, pondering the events ahead.Could there be a worse relationship than this? Rather than properly rejecting the confession he had received while lying down and begging.The accumulated fatigue surged in belatedly, and his vision darkened. It felt like the last moment when he made eye contact with Misha inside the locker room. He still had the face of a deserted dog.— Hey, runaway slave! Did you find freedom after bouncing so hard? “Oh, really… I didn’t run away. I told you I had something to do at that time.”— Hilarious. What kind of business do you have in the UK? Rumor has it you ran away after hitting a player during Yoon Chahyun’s interview, even the guys below heard about it. “No, seriously…”Beyond the video call, Yoon Chahyun, amidst Choi Nam-woo’s playful banter, sighed and touched his forehead rather than continuing his breakfast. Since it was past 9 AM in the UK, it would be afternoon in Korea by now. While Chahyun, with a stiff body and lingering fatigue, struggled to cut his omelet in the club’s cafeteria, Nam-woo on the opposite side seemed to overflow with energy.Their face-to-face conversation had taken place two days ago, right after the game they played in Korea. Having skipped the planned celebration to relieve the long-awaited stress, Nam-woo persisted in teasing Chahyun as if questioning when he had become such a kind senior during the game. It was indeed typical of him.“What’s Korea like?”Chahyun asked, fiddling with the fork in his hand. If he claimed not to feel uncomfortable about the situation after ending the game and running away abruptly, it would be a lie.— Well, after you left, the reporters went crazy, but honestly, people are quiet. Regular folks don’t really know about athletes traveling back and forth between Korea and abroad. They just watch the games. How about you?“I’m not taking international calls, you know.”Friendly laughter erupted from the speaker. It had only been a few days, but Chahyun already missed it. Smiling along with Nam-woo, Chahyun replied.Nam-woo, seemingly in a good mood after the rest following the A-match, talked about the aftermath of the after-party Chahyun had missed. He shared stories of people recognizing players at a meat restaurant and running to get autographs, Baek Jung signing a hundred autographs while having a meal, and Kim In-jeong and Lee Yeon-ho getting drunk, barging into a futsal field on their way home, and playing a match with a local football team. Chahyun faintly chuckled at the episodes, which were hard to distinguish between exaggeration and reality. His mood, which had been sinking since yesterday, seemed to be gradually lightening.— …So, what about him? Did you make up?His mood instantly plummeted.“Who?”— That midfielder, you know. The one who’s hot with you these days. Pretending not to know.“…Make up? What reconciliation are you talking about? Did we fight or something?”— Well, you didn’t fight. It’s the opposite.“….”Nam-woo’s voice, still cheerful, couldn’t see Chahyun’s expression. If it had been visible, he would have enjoyed it even more. It was better this way.―In Europe, there are many friends like that. People with a lot of skinship, free-spirited. Talk to them first and don’t feel awkward. It’s time to show some seniority.“…I know.”Actually, I’m not sure, hyung. Chahyun chewed on the words that rose to the back of his throat. The story that couldn’t be shared with anyone made his heart flutter.Misha Asplund confessed to Yoon Chahyun in the club locker room last night. Although it sounded like a confession, it was half in the form of a warning. He admitted that he had liked Chahyun since the first time they met and had been hiding that fact, but now that it was revealed, he couldn’t hide it anymore. So, he advised Chahyun to run away from someone like him.What made this revelation even more peculiar was that it was Chahyun himself who extracted those words from Misha, who hadn’t planned on revealing his feelings. What happened during the game, which could have been passed off with implicit consent due to the heat of the match, was unnecessarily amplified into the locker room by someone who had no business doing so. But Chahyun swore it wasn’t intentional.Returning home that day, Chahyun tossed and turned all night, contemplating. However, he found no answers. While it was true that Chahyun had a side that wasn’t so considerate, telling Misha, who confessed to not being able to control his own feelings, to stop liking him right away was not an easy thing to do. Misha’s uneasy face, declaring that he couldn’t even trust himself, made Chahyun even more anxious. It felt like being on a roller coaster that unexpectedly turned upside down. Despite the desire to scream and jump off, Chahyun was already halfway up the slope.Ah, I should have rejected him properly.Chahyun pushed the plate away and slumped onto the table. Passing by, his colleagues greeted him with puzzled morning greetings. Among them, thoughts that couldn’t be shared with anyone swirled within Chahyun. Even facing Senior Choi Nam-woo wouldn’t make it any less embarrassing. It was a dilemma that anyone, even an ordinary person, might feel ridiculous enough to fall backward. Unable to confide in anyone, Chahyun sighed deeply into his phone resting on his cheek.“…Hyung. Can’t you come to the UK?”―What are you talking about all of a sudden?“To see me. To watch my game….”―Are you crazy? Where would I get the money? I need to get married soon.“Take out a loan and come.”―If Yoon Chahyun guarantees it, there’s nothing I can’t do.