Life of Change

Galana's hand was an incredibly large piece of land. If it weren't for the fact that it was in the middle of the city, you could say it was a forest like any other. The only difference was the entrance, which was a stone archway from which vines and creepers grew, which in springtime became a real visual spectacle because of the beautiful flowers sprouting from their stems.

Shrubs, which had been precisely pruned, and which resembled sculptures imitating legendary animals and beasts, were planted on either side of this archway, in a huge row that ran several meters from the entrance into the complex, giving an impressive welcome to all first-time visitors, and even to those who have visited for years.

Since it was an extremely safe place; thanks to Galana's blessing, the escorts could completely relax here, even having an area where they could rest without worrying about anything. For a soldier, coming to this place was like giving them a day off where they could spend their time in a carefree manner.

Nisire, myself, and our two maids went inside and immediately made our way to a reserved spot in one of the innermost areas of the complex. I had sent Neth the day before to request it and, fortunately, they had a spot available. Neth scolded me for doing things so suddenly, but at least she agreed that this was the only place we could do this without inviting her home. If I had, it would have been much more complicated because of my parents.

We walked along the paths, admiring the impressive and lively garden that, even though it was the first days of winter, seemed to have been trapped in an eternal spring. Flowers that did not grow in our garden, trees that I had never seen in the empire, let alone in botany books in the family library or the capital. The sound of the wind, combined with the chirping of birds and the movement of trunks and branches, produced a melody that evoked a feeling of peace so profound that it became difficult not to lie down on the soft grass, enjoying the warmth that the sisters of heaven sent us with their light.

"This place is unbelievably beautiful. I've never seen anything like it before." Nisire commented, her bright eyes darting from place to place, admiring every little flower, plant, and tree around us.

"I know. This is one of the few places where I can feel relaxed. There are no problems here, no responsibilities, no obligations. There are no accusatory looks, no lies. It is a place made for the sole purpose of showing the beauty of life, with the greatest sincerity that mother can offer us mortals."

"My Lady, are you all right...?"

"I am" I replied with a sigh. Even I wasn't convinced of that answer, but I wasn't going to get caught up in it. "Come on, let's continue."

I knew my comment was a bit out of line, but it was true. This place was the only place where I felt completely free of everything. I know my words worried her, but I would talk to her about it soon. It was okay to just continue our walk, enjoying ourselves as much as we could while we reached our true destination.

We passed a few couples enjoying their stroll through the huge garden alone, as we did. There were also some parents with their children watching them laugh as they ran back and forth, playing to their heart's content. Maybe I should bring my little sisters with me next time. I thought as we walked away, entering a new area where our reserved spot was.

Why am I repeating it so much? Was I so nervous that I couldn't stop remarking on it, counting every time we approached? Even though this was the only place where I could relax, it seemed that just thinking about what was coming, completely counteracted such an effect on me.

The scenery around us gradually changed from a lush, exotic garden to something more akin to a village in the middle of the forest. Although, of course, the buildings here, even though they were wooden huts, were much better built and maintained than any rural place you might have seen in your life.

This area was called "The mother's embrace" which served as a district of resting rooms where anyone, regardless of their social status, noble titles, or even without money, could reserve, for one to a maximum of 3 days, one of their cabins and enjoy a carefree rest. The only thing they asked in return was to promise before the image of Galana that they would take care of nature with a sincere heart.

Of course, they accepted monetary or any other kind of donations, but the main objective of "Galana's Hand" was to attract people and make them see the wonders of nature, instilling in them the desire to care for and preserve all the beautiful things that Mother has given us.

Many couples, whether engaged, newlyweds, or couples who have been married for years, often book some of these cabins to strengthen their bond as a couple. That includes, of course, the nightly activities.

But unlike the brothels, passion parlors, and houses run by the Valven Matriarchs, "mother's embrace" could be used for any purpose besides sex. That's why it was also frequented by families with their children, or even small groups of supervised children, who hoped to have a wilderness experience without the attendant dangers.

It was, without a doubt, a place for relaxation and freedom in all its forms.

It didn't take us long to get to the cabin we had reserved. Our place was a small wooden house, built under a large tree; of which you could not see the top without hurting your neck.

"Is this the place you wanted to bring me to?" asked Nisire, to which I nodded silently. The time had finally come. I just hoped I wasn't too embarrassed by what was about to happen and that my words could reach her without trouble.

I signaled Neth and she immediately walked ahead of us, passing through a small porch and then opening the door to the cabin. Aria came in right after her and went even further inside, I presumed intending to prepare tea for us.

Nisire and I walked in, admiring the rocking chair just inside the entrance, and then the very nice, rustic style of the interior. From the entrance, we could see a wooden sofa with black leather seats, some cushions, possibly filled with cocatrix feathers, and a tea table just in front, with a small 3-stone luceria chandelier.

We made our way to the sofa, where we sat down immediately. Aria and Neth were in the small kitchen preparing tea and snacks to serve us. The kitchen appeared to be just a stove, with several shelves for some food and a cooler on the side.

If the layout was like the other cabins, the door just off the kitchen would lead into the bedroom and a private bathroom complete with a single bathtub.

There were no conversations of any kind between us. The only sound there was that of our maids in the kitchen, and perhaps the thudding of my heart, though I hoped only I could hear it.

We stayed like that for a long time until finally the tea was finished and served. Neth and Aria moved aside and I began to drink from my cup. Black tea with mint and honey was just what I needed to calm my nerves. Neth certainly knows exactly what I need and when I need it. I smiled at the thought, feeling the warm liquid go down my throat and instantly soothing me.

"So..." began Nisire. Her voice was in a low, hesitant tone. "Have you come here before?"

Her question struck me as odd, and she looked uncomfortable. I noticed that she avoided my gaze and that her fingers; whose hands had rested on her legs, drummed impatiently. Perhaps she was feeling nervous too? I haven't told her why we came here, so it's understandable that she feels some uncertainty.

For some reason, knowing that she was nervous brought me some joy, but it also made me feel calmer, knowing that she was the same way I was.

"I've come here before, yes."

"I... I see. Uh... Was it some...?" she asked, even more uncomfortable than before. I tilted my head in confusion until I suddenly understood what she meant.

"No, no, no! I, uh, I've never had a lover or anything similar. I come here with my parents from time to time." I replied in panic. I hadn't expected her to think something like that.

Of course, I would like to come here with those intentions, especially if it is with her.... no, wait, it's not that. I'd like to come here to spend time with my lover, but I've never found the right person until now. Well, maybe... Neth, but she's different, she... no, actually, she's not that different... ugh... it's better to forget about that.

I could feel my face heat up, her assumption and my thoughts were causing chaos in my mind.

"I, uh. It's just...I thought that...no, never mind, excuse me and, please forget what I said."

I lifted my gaze, which had dropped down to stare too intently into my teacup, and noticed that Nisire's face was slightly flushed. She had covered her face with her hands and seemed to be feeling terrible for taking that on. I couldn't help but think how cute she looked but also wanted to know what was going through her mind.

I... I think I should start now.

"Neth, would you?"

"Right away."

Neth immediately took off toward the room. I stood up and followed her, but before I went in I turned around and spoke to a confused Nisire who was looking at me not knowing what was going to happen.

"Nisire. There is something I need to tell you, but I need you to give me some time, can you please have some patience and wait for me just a little while?"

Nisire looked even more confused than before. I don't blame her, it's hard not to feel that way with everything I'm doing.

She thought for a while and finally nodded.

"I won't be long. And also..." I looked towards her maid, Aria. "It may sound a bit disrespectful of me, but I'd rather it was just the two of us," I said to her, in the most serious voice I could use. It would be ideal if it was just me and her, but if that's not possible....

Nisire seemed to pick up on the seriousness of the matter and spoke directly to her maid without taking her eyes off me.

"Aria."

"Mistress!!?"

"It's all right. I trust her."

Aria seemed to hesitate for a moment, alternating her gaze between us, but finally, after a sigh that seemed exasperated, she decided to leave the cabin and leave us alone. I didn't say it out loud, but I thanked her for understanding.

"Then... I'll be back soon."

Nisire nodded and I walked into the room. Neth was waiting for me with a new dress, one that was easier to... take off.

"Did you get everything out?" I asked, approaching her, ready for the outfit change.

"Yes young lady, I got everything ready. I'm still fascinated by how convenient the subspace storages are."

These storages are sort of holes in space that, thanks to an enchantment on rings, bracelets, or some easy-to-carry item, can store a certain number of objects. Of course, it's not too much. They can become as big as a room, similar to this one, or, the most common ones, as big as a small closet.

Currently, Neth brings with her a ring-shaped one, with the standard type of storage, in which we usually keep spare dresses, medicines, money, and some personal belongings.

Neth had begun to remove the dress I was wearing. For what I needed to do, we needed easy access to my Valah and certain parts of my body. My body is not... normal. At least not in how a Friasan or an Atenosia should be.

This has been mentally damaging me for as long as I can remember, and it's also why I don't feel comfortable with other people and prefer to push them away. Of course, my family is an exception to the rule. I feel somewhat uncomfortable, but I know they accept me no matter what. Nya is a clear example. Although we have taken a bath together a couple of times, she has never seemed to be curious about how my body looks, seeing it as quite normal.

According to what my parents told me when I was very young, it seems to be a defect or rather a mutation, as they called it in the temple of Alika. This... deformity, does not affect my health at all, but, it is not comfortable to see. Especially for those who are part of the Atenosia tribe.

That is why it was to be expected that people like Lady Eleios would be suspicious as to why, despite having my ceremony at the age of 7, I still don't show my valah. She must have concluded that there must be something wrong with my body and wanted to take advantage of that.

It's understandable. It may sound like self-deprecation, but it's a reality. I can't even see it myself without feeling bad about it. And it's not just my valah... I wish it was just that.

There's a full-length mirror right in front of me. I can see the entirety of my naked body. I can see my emotions being transmitted through my valah, I can see the sadness in the sway, weak and hesitant. Unlike Mom, Zenya, or even little Orinthya, my valah is pale white, like fresh snow. There would be no problem if that's all it was. The color itself was not the problem, as even I can say it is pretty. The problem is that all of my valah is...

"Young Lady?" Neth interrupted my depressive thoughts. I can see concern in her by the way she moves her antennae. Her mouth had curved downward slightly.

I let out a sigh. Being so negative about all this won't do me any good. Whatever happens from now on, I'll take it head-on.

Neth finishes dressing me and spends a few minutes making sure everything is perfect. She gave me one last smile and took my hands in hers.

"Young Lady... no, Sarka. You can do this. I can safely say that Lady Nisire is a good person, so you have nothing to worry about."

Neth finished those words and gave me a gentle hug. Her warmth is comforting. I've thought about it over and over again, but I feel like I don't deserve her. She has been too good to me.

"Thank you, Neth, you don't know how much I appreciate everything you do for me," I replied right in her ear. If there were better words I would tell her, but I know she prefers a simple thank you. It's ironic that she, being so educated and versed in the formal matters of nobility, prefers something so informal. She's a bit like Makila, which makes me smile at the thought.

We part with a smile, and with my heart much calmer. My valah is still hidden in my dress, but I feel that if it were free it would move with more energy.

Neth left the room first, to inform Nisire that I would be there soon, then left the house, as did Aria.

I paused for a moment to take a deep breath and settle my thoughts. I needed to think correctly about what I wanted to say so that she would understand correctly what I wanted to convey to her.

I looked into the mirror one last time.

My hair was up in a high, in a simple bun, and my eyes... they looked a little dull, but that's why I wanted to calm down first before I went out. I couldn't let Nisire see sadness or cowardice in me, not now.

The dress I was wearing was very simple. It was a white one-piece dress that came down to my knees, with a design of yellow spiral lines running from the bottom edge to the neckline. It's sleeveless, so it's held up with straps in the back and neck. I wasn't wearing underwear underneath, at least not on top, so my chest was, in a way, exposed, though covered completely by the dress itself.

My valah is wrapped around my waist, under a false part in it. It was designed with that in mind. It was Neth who made it, and I was pleasantly surprised by her high quality and ingenuity in creating it. It makes me wonder how is she able to do things like that without the need for eyes, but whenever I tell her, she always smiles and wiggles her antennae with glee. I could swear that, if she could, she would wink at me and say in a flirtatious voice that it was a secret.

That thought helped me. Now I had a smile on my face and some hope in my heart.

I took one last deep breath and left the room. There was Nisire, sipping the last of her tea, when she saw me walk out. Her eyes widened. She was positively shocked. I could tell by the blush on her cheeks. That made me smile.

"I-I'm...I'm ready," I said, my voice came out a little low and in stutters, but I knew she heard me perfectly.

I watched her swallow for a moment before she placed the cup on the table and tried to get up. I immediately told her it was okay to stay there.

I walked over to her and sat back down next to her. She seemed to want to say something, so I kept quiet and patient.

"You...You look...I think My Lady y-you look incredibly beautiful." She stammered.

Such words came from her lips. I felt my face heat up quickly. It was the first time she had ever complimented me like that. Whenever we meet, she usually gives me compliments with her calm voice and cheerful but serene expression. But this time, it had been different. She struggled to utter words and the calmness she usually had was gone.

I was happy. I was incredibly happy. It was a coincidence that my current appearance caused her this, considering that was not the purpose at all, but it made me happy.

"Thank you, Nisire. Thank you."

I couldn't help but express it. Those words she dedicated to me improved my mood even more. And, as my father says, when you land the first punch, you have to keep hitting until you win.

"Nisire," I called out to her, trying to get her to concentrate fully on my voice. "There are a few things I'd like to talk about and... it's going to be a little difficult for me. So, any questions you might have, could you be patient and wait until the end?"

I knew it was a little strange to start that way, but I wanted to get everything out of me because once I started, I wouldn't be able to take it back.

She tried to analyze my expression for a moment but smiled and nodded immediately.

"Of course. Take your time My Lady. I will listen to every word you have to say to me and wait patiently for you to finish."

I replied with a smile and a thank you. I took a last breath, gathering all my courage, and began...

"You must know this by now, but my parents; a Friasan and an Athosia, have 4 children. My older brother, Losward, myself, and my two younger sisters, Zenya and Orinthya. As far as we know, this is the first time 2 individuals from both tribes have mixed, so there was always a certain level of curiosity, for some, as to what their offspring would be like. Losward was born a Friasan, no problem at all. Maybe too much on that side, but without any health issues. My little sisters were the same, with Orinthya being perhaps the most similar to our mother."

I took a breath to let that little introduction settle in properly. I could see her expression calm, and somewhat thoughtful. I had a feeling she was wondering why I didn't mention about myself.

"The problem...was me," I said, with a sad smile. I had my hands clasped together to keep my anxiety from showing too much, but I couldn't keep my fingers still. I was starting to feel scared. I didn't want to do it, or for her to see me make that kind of dark expression, but in the end, I couldn't help it.

Before I felt too caught up in it, I decided to continue.

"When I was born, it was a normal birth, no complications. Except... my body was different." At that point, I turned my back to her and asked her to release the straps that bound the dress together.

"M-My Lady!" she replied in a stutter, agitated. Anyone would respond that way if they were presented with this same situation, but...

"It's okay...it's necessary. You'll understand once you do."

Nisire thought about it for a while, but with nervousness, and a very careful touch, she removed the knots that held my dress in place one by one. The fabric descended to just above the base of my valah, leaving my back completely bare. Immediately I could hear a gasp of surprise.

"This is mostly the reason why I don't wear clothes that show much of my skin, especially on my back."

This was part of that so-called "mutation". A condition that, while not so rare in Friasan descendants, was far greater than had ever been seen before.

"Why it happens isn't important, what matters is that it runs from the middle of my back to the middle of the back of my thighs."

What Nisire should be seeing now is a huge spot of a coppery color. No, it's not a birthmark like the one Orinthya has on her chest. It's as if that part of my body is more part Friasan than the rest. Even the texture of my skin in that region is different, somewhat rough and hard. Such is the skin of the Friasan tribe. Tough because of their nature and with that texture protect themselves better.

All that runs along the bottom and back of my body. Uncomfortable in many ways, and not very pleasant to look at.

"When I was a child, around the age of 4, one of the new maids took me to take a bath, and... when she saw it she said some very hurtful words. Words that became embedded in my mind that I have not been able to free myself from. They have been like shackles, but they clench tighter every time I remember them. Makila took it upon herself to harshly reprimand that maid and soon after she was sent to Port Harlor, to a mansion where we go every few years on vacation. Shortly thereafter Neth was assigned as my personal maid. I think you can imagine why."

"I can imagine." She replied. A brief comment. I tried not to analyze the tone she used, I just wanted to continue and... hope none of this would change our relationship.

"My life would be so much simpler if it was just this. I would just need to hide it and there would be no problem. But... I'm technically an Atenosia."

"I see. It has to do with what happened with Lady Eleios, doesn't it?"

"Mmm, it certainly has to do." I immediately unbuttoned the hidden part of my dress and released my valah. White as snow, it moved slowly to rest gently on my back. There was no response from Nisire this time. Only silence. Unknown was whether it was something negative or not, but I didn't want to dwell on it, I just continued speaking.

"My valah suffered some of the effects of that mutation. Normally they have a black color or very dark shades of purple, but... you can see mine is different. Besides the fact that her appearance is very different from any other Atenosia out there. It's... deformed..."

I couldn't stop my voice from cracking at the end. I could feel myself wanting to cry at that instant. My chest felt tight and it was a little hard to breathe. But I needed to say it, I needed to let it out. If I didn't, if I didn't show her how I am, I feel like I would never forgive myself.

Maybe someone might say I'm exaggerating, but right now, in my heart, I know how I feel about her, and I don't want to hide anything from her, I want to be honest not only as payment for the sincerity she has shown me but also because I want our relationship to start like this, no secrets, no lies, no hiding my fears and insecurities. I want to be able to trust her from the bottom of my heart.

Nisire was silent once again. I knew she was seeing my valah, I could feel her gaze. I was used to that. I'm very sensitive to such things after all this time.

The valah, for a normal Atenosia, is a long thin tail, thick at its base and becoming narrower until the end, where it ends in an arrowhead-like shape. There are some variants, but they always have the same base shape at the end.

Mine? Not only is it deformed from the base, being much thicker in that part, but it also has a rough texture, similar to the skin in that area of my back. The tip is... half of the arrowhead, with 3 cuts is its edge. As if some beast had bitten and ripped it as it couldn't carry it away with its jaws.

"I suppose... you're wondering the reason for all this, aren't you? I... this time we've spent together, since that day we met, I've seen nothing but honesty from you. The beautiful words you dedicate to me, the compliments, the joy of seeing me, and how much fun our time together is. Those sincere feelings you have shown me... I feel I have not reciprocated them adequately."

I sighed, feeling my body tremble a little. I was scared, and my brain was working at full capacity to delay hearing an answer from her. I know all too well what a nice person Nisire is, but it was hard not to feel anxious.

"Ah, I don't want you to think I felt compelled by that. These are my true feelings. My genuine desire is for you to know who I am and... what I look like. I... I'm..."

Ah... I couldn't take it anymore. I knew it was time to listen to her, but I was so terrified to think that she might be disgusted by how I look, that she might see me as... see my deformities and think it's better to abandon me...

I couldn't stop my tears from flowing... at some point I had started to embrace myself, feeling smaller and smaller.

"I'm... I'm very grateful for how you've treated me so far, so... I would understand..."

"Lady Sarka." She spoke. Her voice made me startle at the tone and content. Contrary to her formal and calm tone, she uttered my name. She had never called me by my name before. To her, it was always My Lady, or in formal events, Lady Baelian. Why the sudden change?

I wanted to turn my gaze and face her, but... the sudden change in her terrified me even more.

"Lady Sarka, I'm sorry. Truly, I'm sorry for not being the person you expected me to be."

I see... I... I was wrong...

I felt, how my whole world collapsed in that instant...