Maniac’s Mayhem: A guide to being a corporate slave

A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it."

--John Dalton

 

After beating Evelin in a bunch of games, we decide to go to Essensstände square, an eclectic collection of food stalls thrown about in the low area of the commerce district. There are lanterns hung everywhere and benches to eat the food, giving it a more relaxed and party vibe.

Evelin walked several paces in front of me, backwards to the crowd. Her sunglasses have slipped down to the tip of her nose, making her closed eyes clearly visible. It is kind of a funny sight, especially with how unsteady her gait is.

I still remember getting used to my chemical analyser. Having your sense of smell co-opted in a way like that is very disorienting. Considering the smell of the peach that has been wafting off Evelin for a while, it is nice. Honestly, I'm a bit surprised she would actually go through with it. No, I am not. My girlfriend is crazy. This seems a bit more on the mild spectrum of things.

She suddenly stops, looking at one of the stalls selling some kind of baked goods. I take a big whiff of the air, letting it settle in my internal chemical decomposer to figure out what these cookies are made of. I frown, sure the cookies are safe to eat, but they have enough preservatives in them to keep them fresh for weeks, something that usually does not enhance the flavour at all. I loop my arms around Evelin’s right arm to drag her away.

“You don’t like cookies?” She asks, while tilting her head like a confused puppy.

It always throws me off when she does stuff like that. Maniac is brash and, aggressive and somewhat intimidating, but when she takes off the mask, Evelin seems almost normal. Sure, there is still some of the craziness left, but she seems calmer, quieter and a lot cuter.

“No, I like them. It's just I don’t like the chemicals in those particular cookies.” I say to her, giving her a weak smile.’

Her eyes go wide. “You can see different chemicals with your eyes. That is impressive.”

“It is less seeing and more smell. I have a small lab inside of me that can recognise different chemicals.”

“Huh, that somehow sounds even more impressive,” she says with her big smile. “So, does something here smell especially good, Toto.”

I stop, but can’t really figure out what she is exactly talking about, so instead of thinking about it, I stick my nose in the air in a theatrical way and take a deep breath, separating all the chemicals. There is some meat that is being sold further up the street with a bunch of different spices that smells amazing. But no meat today so I keep looking. From multiple baked goods to curries, nachos, and other foods that are only meant to taste good and not actually be good for you. I take Evelin by the hand, leading her further into the bustling streets until we find my target. It’s a small stall, which luckily means there is only one person in front of us.

“What are these?” Evelin asks, her breath whispering in my ear.

I try to ignore the blush creeping onto my cheeks and answer, “Those are filled pastries. They smell great. I would recommend that one with the curry, or if you want something sweeter, they have something with a bean paste in it, that one that is stuffed with glucose.”

Her eyes go blank for a second before scanning the stall. “Mystery meat?”

“I think that is an inside joke of this place. They started by selling questionable stuff for cheap in this market, but as more customers came, they got more legitimacy. Mystery meat just explains that it is a strong blend of spice, so you won't be able to taste the meat.”

“Why would they do that?” She asks, confused.

“Well, mostly to hide the taste of rat meat with the occasional cat or dog thrown in.”

The face Evelin makes is kind of funny “So what kind of meat is in there?”

I take another breath, dissecting the chemical makeup. “There is no real meat in there, just mycelia.”

“Corporate fake meat? Well, guess you need just as much of a reason to drown that taste out.”

The person in front of us grabs his order and goes, which means that we are next. I walk up to the stall, smiling at the vendor behind it. He is a big man with cyber limbs and tattoos, which make him look like a gang member. But the cute flower apron kind of dispels that idea.

“Uhm, I will have the teriyaki chicken and pulled pork, please; what about you?” I turn to Evelin. She is just staring at the man with her piercing eyes. I try to follow her gaze and notice that on the apron, there is a badge of a completely white faceless mask.

“What is that?” She finally asks, pointing at it.

The man looks down only for relief to wash over him. “This, miss, is just a sign of my silent approval of Maniac’s work.”

“Her work?” I ask, a bit confused.

“Dethroning the capitalists, throwing CEOs out of windows. It is nice to see that someone finally is bringing some change.” he says in a fervent tone.

I see Evelin nod along in understanding. “Yeah, that sounds about right; she is really impressive, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, right. She is probably laying low for a while, looking for her new target.” The man says while nodding along.

Evelin has a grin on her face going from ear to ear. “That, or she is just having a vacation.”

“Who knows anyway? Do you want anything else?” the man asks us.

Evelin looks at me, and I give her a small nod. “One curry and one mystery meat as well, please.”

Once we receive our order, we walk to a sitting area and dig in. For something found in a small stall, these pastries taste amazing, their chemical composition working in perfect harmony. I finish my first pastry rather quickly. The heterocyclic amines and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons working in perfect harmony.

“So, how does it taste?” I ask Evelin, who is looking at her pastry as if it holds the secrets of the universe.

“I am confused. It tastes both sweet, sour, and spicy at the same time. Want to try?” she asks, angling the mystery meat towards me.

I lean in, taking a small bite from the pastry, and fuck, she was not kidding. It is really special if my sensors are correct; it is at least 400 thousand Scoville. Then the acidity sets in a mixture between vinegar and citrus. I swallow the meat down. Only to be hit with the sweet aftertaste of sugar almost similar to caramel.

“I told you it was weird.” Evelin says, with an impish smile before taking another bite.

“Weird is an understatement. The worst part is I can’t determine if I like it or not.”

“It is an experience, that is for sure.” Evelin says before picking something out of the packaging and smiling. “Would you look at that? I have become an official member of the fan club.” she says, while showing me a similar white mask pin.

“Are you that desperate for members?” I ask, in a joking tone.

“Don’t really know. Did not know they existed until today.” she says while pinning the pin to her shirt.

“Are you really planning to take down corporations and such?” I ask with a bit of concern. The man seems a bit manic.

“Nope, I mean, the guy I threw out of the window was not planned at all. I just got dragged there and saw the open window. It was more of a situation where I had nothing to lose. None of it was prepared. Just tried to make as much noise as possible so you guys could do the extraction.”

“So, you don’t want to kill the capitalist scum?”

“If they come after me, I will fight back, but I feel like I have better things to do.”

“So, you are just lazy?”

“Lazy, and I don’t want all that responsibility.”

“Responsibility?”

“Well, corporations run the world. If I get rid of those, who would be in charge?”

That made more sense; Evelin does not seem like a fanatic. She does like to mess around a lot more than necessary, but honestly, at this point, that is more of a welcome. I feel like I have to take things less seriously when I am with her, and that has a calming effect.

We eat the rest of our food and start to head back towards the hotel. Evelin has a meeting tomorrow, so we sadly can’t make it too late. I honestly wish she would wrap up her entire plan sooner. But my talk with Sam yesterday was enlightening. Evelin has failed a few too many times to be comfortable with taking risks. Also, according to Sam, there is a part of Evelin that enjoys the random puzzles where everything fits together in a certain way.

Suddenly, Evelin stops, and I see two people approach us from the front. I look back only to realise that there are three more people behind us. I start up my chemical compound synthesisers, turning my body fluids into lethal acids and poisons.

“Lyssa, sensors off.” I hear Evelin whisper.

“And what do we have here? Two lost school girls.” the woman in front of us says, her green Mohawk bouncing up and down as she speaks.

“We aren’t lost. We are going that way towards the commercial district.” Evelin says, not a hint of fear in her.

Suddenly, the woman takes out a gun, levelling it at Evelins face

‘Trismegistus, please tell me you have something that can protect Evelin,’ I subvocalise to my AI.

I do have some equipment available, but you should realise that Evelin still has her shielding glove on.

I look back at Evelin, who is dismissively looking at the gun. Then I look at her hands, and Try is right. She does have her glove on her left hand.

“Look, kids, this is easy. You transfer us 10000 Credits each, and we will keep you safe and make sure no unsavoury people mess with ya.”

I see Evelin’s posture change. She squares her shoulders and leans forwards more like she is about to pounce, and when she speaks, her voice is different, both higher in pitch and louder. “Well, that is a nice offer.” She says, taking a step towards the girl, “But I have to decline; you see, I am over a million credits in debt already, so I can’t be paying random street thugs as well.

The woman walks forward, pushing the gun into Evelin's forehead. “You think that we are playing? We can flatline you here and take what you have off your fancy corpse. I am pretty sure you have some nice chrome in there.”

Evelin does not answer, instead snapping forward and catching the gun with her teeth. The whining of metal can be heard as she bites straight through it. Only drowned out by the bang of the gun firing.

All goes quiet, then the girl takes a few steps back. “Fuck!” She shouts at us, “Are you crazy.”

Evelin just spits out the part of the gun that she bit off. Then she sticks two fingers in her mouth, retrieving the bullet. “Maybe?’ She says in a questioning tone.

“You got to be kidding me.” the woman says, taking two extra steps backwards.

“Not really”, Evelin says, a crooked smile on her face as the panels on her right arm start to open. She flicks the bullet, and it thunders away, punching a fist-sized hole through the woman’s chest.

Evelin turns her head almost a full 180 degrees backwards and smiles at the people behind us. About a minute later, there are five cooling bodies in the alleyway.

“Was that really necessary?” I ask Evelin.

“Not really, we are strong enough to just ignore them, but when I hacked into their stuff, I found some, let's say, gross things they did, so I decided that cleaning up the streets a bit would be better.” she says, still in the excited high pitched voice. “I also felt like showing off.”

“I see, but Evelin, don’t become a vigilante, please. That never ends well.”

I see her stance shift back and slump in on itself as she walks over to me. “I am sorry. It kind of got out of hand, but I promise the only trouble I will be looking for is antithesis, and maybe Magenta, once I figure out how to hack into her hair."

I chuckle. I guess it is fine; Evelin is weird, but I knew that when I first met her, as she ran at the Xenos while hurling insults. I put an arm around her waist.

“Let's go home for now.”