Maniac’s Mayhem: A guide to being a corporate slave

Have you ever had that feeling where it's only morning, and you already know it is going to be a bad day? I mean it’s not the worst day ever, but it is definitely not great. Being called out to an operation site has never been a good sign. Being called to Brussels at the edge of the flooded zone only meant one thing: water and a lot of it. I do not have an engineering degree or any degree for that matter, but I am inconsequential to most of the people in New Hope corporation, so if I get electrocuted, nobody will cry about it. So, all in all, a perfect start to the week. And then someone had to go and pile on by calling me. I try my best to put on the best corporate service smile I can muster and picked up the call.

“Hello, Mister Le Mond. How can I help you?” I answer, trying to make it sound like I am actually happy to receive the call.

In the top right of my vision, a little box opens, and a man in a well-ironed suit appears sitting in an office looking out over the city skyline, which was probably Strasburg or Stuttgart. I really did not know since all the cities in that area had just merged together at some point, making the whole differentiation rather pointless in my mind.

“Evelin, I remember telling you to have the Etro Corp security audit ready this morning, so where is it?” he says in his best I am your boss, and you better have not fucked up voice.

“Yeah, right, the Etro Corp job.” A few eye twitches, and I have all the documents open and ready. “You want me to explain it or send it over, sir.”

I see his eye twitch. “And why are you not giving me the report in my office then? Do you think you won't be replaced just because you are good at your job?”

“Oh no, sir, I would never think that. I got sent to Brussels for repairs by headquarters,” I say, doing my best innocent girl impression. “I will come to your office as soon as I finish here, sir.”

“Hmmph, you better hurry it up, then I don’t have all day,” he says

“I will, Mister Le Mond,” I say, and with that, the call gets disconnected.

I heave a big sigh. Well, that sucks better hurry it up and get this done with. As I hasten my step, I almost have a heart attack from a loud sound that echoes from a nearby alleyway; as I look inside, I see a group of kids in the process of dumpster diving.

One of the bigger kids approaches me and says: “What are you looking at, Suit? Get lost.”

I shrug and keep going. Everyone needs to do their thing to survive, and at this moment, I do not have the time and money to care about others. So I walk onward. As I keep getting closer, the feeling of dread keeps building. The streets are flooded, not by much, just a couple of centimeters, but everything here is cheap, so protection against water damage is unlikely.

I finally make it to the warehouse, and after pinging the lock a few times the door finally decides that it’s a good time to open up. As I make it through the door, I feel like cursing my existence. The smell of damp mold and the coppery stench of rust says more than any error message ever could. As I make a full sweep of the warehouse, I see that some of the servers are flooded, and a lot of the wiring has gone to hell. This is going to take forever.

As I am slowly making my way through all the repairs that need to happen, which is mostly cobbling together the electronics that don’t have water damage so I can send the data elsewhere to review later, I suddenly hear a loud bang coming from the back. My first thought goes to some vermin. Then I remembered the kids and that I probably did not close the front door in my own hurry. I leave what I am doing and walk my way to the room where the noise came and open the door.

As I do so, I shout, “Okay, kids, listen up, put down the stuff you took, and we can all pretend nothing happened. Trust me, you don’t need a Corp on your back.”

Sadly for me, what I find in the room are not thieving children but a group of plant creatures with triple hinge jaws, small legs, and all mean green muscles the size of a dog. Model threes, a small voice in my head informs me. All four of the monsters instantly look at me. I slam the door shut. The door instantly starts to dent, and I decided then and there that I needed to get out of there if I wanted to survive. Then, a warning pops up in my vision.

“For fuck's sake, you're late,” I shout at the stupid warning message.

I run across the hall and out the door straight into a little girl, and we tumble for a bit. I quickly look up, checking the surroundings and then the girl. There are some scrapes, but it will be alright. I look back into the door. There are no antithesis yet. The group of kids seemed to be stunned at what to do. I stand up, pick up the kid I had knocked over, and shout.

“RUN!”

This seems to put them back into gear as they start running again. A few eye twitches to my augs, and I have a map of the city with our location and the location of the nearest shelter. Then I hear it. More splashing behind us with mounting horror, I look behind me and see that the floral quintuplets have made it out of the building as well. And are gaining fast. Well, shit, I scan the map for any options.

“Into the alley,” I shout, “Third door on the left,” as I am already strong-arming their security and unlocking the door.

Luckily, these are street kids, meaning they are smart enough. The front one makes it to the door right as I finish with my little program. Everyone makes it in, and I put the girl down.

“Go follow the lights in the hallway. Once you make it through, you should be close to the shelter,” I say as the rest of the kids rush further in.

I slammed the door shut and re-engaged the lock. Luckily, security is lacking in this area, so gaining access to the systems and obtaining a map was relatively easy. I started running in the same way I had highlighted for the children already.

I hear glass shattering in the distance as I run through the corridors. As I try to pull up any surveillance I notice that most of the cameras on this floor are not functioning. This makes me release another string of curses. As I try to get into the surrounding building's security systems to get a better look at things, I hear a loud cracking and then a loud noise of things getting smashed and rubble falling. I make a snap decision. I have the camera open on the exit the kids have to go through. And they have not appeared yet, so I need to distract whatever is inside until the children are out.

I start activating random alarms, sprinklers, and another security subsystem to lead away whatever is in here. It does work somewhat, but whatever it is, it leaves a lot more destruction than what I am comfortable with. Ooh, how I wish corporate allowed me to carry a gun or a knife, not that it would do much. I am halfway through the building when I notice the first children exiting the building on the other side. I should definitely exercise more. Well, the kids are safe now.

There is one problem: I am somewhat out of tricks. All the systems are down or unresponsive. The creature must have hit something vital. Which, in all honestly, was going to happen sooner rather than later. No, the problem now is how quiet it is; there is no more rumbling, no side walls collapsing, and no glass smashing. The only sound around being my own breathing, unsettles me in a way similar to when I was a kid being discovered for stealing a large amount of company secrets from their servers. You are just waiting around for the proverbial axe to drop. But instead of being dragged to court, I will get my face eaten off, and it is only Monday. I can’t wait to see what the rest of the week is like.

After creeping into some more corridors, I see a giant hole, and all that is left of someone. Or, maybe, the carpet is always red in that particular spot. Who knows? The hole is a concern, though it is a bit too big. It's like a van ran through this building. I pity the poor fucker that meets them in here.

Just as I examine the hole further back, there is a loud sound, and I can even see dust coming through the hallway. This is the moment I wish I had paid more attention to the antithesis research channels because, at this moment, I would really like to know how good their sense of smell is.

I vote for good and start sprinting through the hallways. I make it a good way when the ground starts moving and shaking. I jump into the closed door I can find and start running into random rooms. Luckily, the bottom of this building is mainly used for cheap storage, and their security is at least a decade old.

As I am running between shelves filled with car tires, I fire off a quick prayer. I am not particularly pious, but I could do with a samurai at this moment. Then the door I just came through explodes, and something big comes in. It is the size of a van with big tree trunk limbs. A model 6, I think, but it could also be a 5. I should really have paid attention. I quickly look around for something I can put between me and the fucker. But lucky me, there is nothing but tires, and I don’t think a few centimeters of rubber is going to save me. So I run, but I already know it is over. I am exhausted from all the running. This oversized spruce seems to take the concept of stamina more as a suggestion than a rule.

As the rumbling comes closer, I jump behind the last thing that can be considered some amount of cover, a fat pillar about the size of a small car. As I am lying there, the only thing I hear is a giant impact and the groaning of metal stretching and breaking. I use up all my remaining years of luck as the creature flies past me and does not take my head off. As I lay there wondering what to do now, I hear a groan old and ancient. I look up towards the roided-up conifer. And it has gotten up, but it did not make that sound. Of course not. They never make a fucking sound. Then another groan sounds out something that cannot handle the strain of life anymore. And the proverbial LED goes off in my head.

” I ran the bull into the load-bearing pillar.”

In the next moment, the noise is all I can hear. It is like thunder combined with a waterfall pouring out metal. It feels like it will last forever. At some point, I am jolted up and launched as something heavy hits the floor plate I am on. I hit the side of something. Give me some slack. I have no clue what is down and up. Just as soon as the noise started, it all seemed to stop simultaneously. It is entirely dark, and I am buried under Protectors know how many meters of building.

“Okay, Evelin, think positive…… Ugh, you are alive.” I prefer to pat myself on the back for that one.

“I can move my right arm freely; I can move my left, but it is stuck under something. “That is good, Evelin. You got this."

“And I don’t feel my legs,” and I lose it. I start to sob and am jolted awake by a slight shock.

“Fucking stupid augs with improper tear support” Wait, my augs, they have a built-in light which makes it look like I have flashlight eyes. Okay, don’t judge me. We are all young and stupid. Sometimes, I just happen to be that more than most.

I would like to say that I turned on the light and saw the decapitated head of the antithesis that was chasing me. And if anyone ever asks that is what I will tell them. Instead, I am greeted with an ad for an incursion shelter, which might have been funny if it had happened to anyone else. Then, a massive spike of pain shoots through my brain.

System Initialized!
Congratulations. Through your actions, you have proven yourself worthy of becoming one of the Vanguard and a defender of humanity. I am Lyssa. I will assist you to uplift humanity so that you may defend your homeworld from the Antithesis threat!
Rise, Evelin Parker, and become a protector of the weak!

“I think I will stay seated if it is all the same to you.”