My Ex-Girlfriend Regrets Dumping Me

47 – Hesitation (1)

I wondered when we made that promise.

Probably, it was something we casually said on my birthday without much thought.

Just like saying, “Let’s grab a meal together sometime.”

I hadn’t expected her to remember it for so long.

“…Actually, I wanted to bring it up during the semester. But it seemed like you were busy, so I couldn’t say anything.”

She said slyly, glancing at me.

Well, back when we were in school, I used to meet with Jia, work part-time, and attend classes.

There wasn’t much time to hang out with Ha-yeon.

“Hmm. Well, it doesn’t really matter… So, what do you want to do?”

During the vacation, though, there was plenty of free time.

I had enough flexibility to spend a few days for her.

Honestly, one reason I acted busy during the semester was because Ha-yeon made me uncomfortable.

But ever since we went to the countryside, I felt a little more comfortable around her.

So, it seemed unnecessary to refuse her request.

“…I have a few things in mind… First, I was thinking about going to an amusement park.”

“An amusement park?”

“Yeah. Since the treatment started, I haven’t been able to go once. Not until now.”

Ha-yeon was one of those people who really loved amusement parks.

In the past, our date plans would often include amusement parks depending on the season.

At one point, Ha-yeon even bought a regular pass so she could visit them.

But, going to an amusement park after getting sick probably wasn’t easy.

And during the recovery period, engaging in strenuous activities like that wouldn’t be good, so she probably avoided places like amusement parks.

Now that her body has recovered significantly, maybe she can say something like this to me.

“But do you really need to go with me? You could go with other friends.”

“…It’s just that since I returned to school, I don’t have many friends… Plus, there’s an age difference… And I’m not exactly friendly, you know?”

“…Ah.”

“It’s not like I don’t have any friends at all, but it’s not easy to coordinate schedules…”

A sense of deep regret filled the air.

I felt like I had said something unnecessary.

I should have just quietly agreed to go with her.

Ha-yeon was beautiful, but from the start, she seemed distant.

Even if I were to overcome that psychological barrier and approach her, she had a somewhat reserved personality.

So, it meant that she wasn’t particularly sociable.

Come to think of it, even when we were dating, she didn’t meet many friends and mostly stuck with me.

But if there’s also an age difference on top of that, it would be difficult for anyone to become close friends.

To a certain extent, I could relate to what they were saying as a returning student. It wasn’t easy for me to get close with younger classmates either. “Yul, can you stop looking at me like that?…It’s more pitiful that way.” “Oh, sorry.” I didn’t even know how I was looking at her. Anyway, I thought she seemed pitiful. I apologized to Ha-yeon and decided to fulfill her wish. “…Okay, let’s go together. Nobody is playing with us, so I’ll play with you.” “……Is nobody playing?” “Yeah. That’s right.” I gently pressed Ha-yeon’s forehead as she expressed her frustrations. It seemed like it wouldn’t hurt to let loose and have fun for my poor friend. * [We finally decided on the amusement park. You said you’re free tomorrow, right?] [Yeah.] Less than a week after coming back from the countryside, I went to the amusement park with Ha-yeon. It took about two hours by subway. When we finally arrived at the amusement park, Ha-yeon’s eyes shone brightly. “Wow~ it’s been such a long time…” “Yeah, it has.” It was my first time in two years visiting an amusement park. As a guy, I don’t usually go alone to amusement parks. The scenery looked like a well-decorated village in a fairy tale. It made my heart flutter a little. “So, what ride do you want to try first when we go in?” “…Let’s take this one first, then the roller coaster. This one has the shortest line… and then…” Ha-yeon, who seemed the most excited I had seen her so far, was planning our route tightly like a jungle adventure. It made me smile again.

What a face filled with excitement like a 5-year-old.

The corners of her mouth were lifted slightly towards the sky.

When she was next to me, her expression was always somber.

Thinking that it must have been hard for her because of me made me feel a little guilty.

…Let’s play hard today.

Is that why?

I felt more strongly that I wanted to have fun with her.

“Yes, the entrance is confirmed. You may enter. Have a great day!”

The line wasn’t very long, so we entered the amusement park soon.

“Should we go to the souvenir shop first?”

“Yeah.”

Let’s move according to Hayeon’s plan, and the first place we visited was the souvenir shop.

Actually, I already expected the first course.

Hayeon always started with the souvenir shop every time we visited the amusement park.

According to her theory, if you come to an amusement park, you have to buy a headband and enter.

“So cute.”

With a brightened face, Hayeon looked around.

Is this what it feels like to look at a soul in heaven from a distance?

The surroundings were full of cute things.

Stuffed animals, gloves, and beanies of strange shapes.

There were also plenty of toys that children would like.

“Try this on. Mm… not bad? Then how about this?”

Hayeon came back with all sorts of headbands and gave me a fashion show.

To me, honestly, it all seemed the same.

She kept bringing me things, saying that some suited me and some didn’t.

“Oh. That one’s nice? Heh.”

I spotted a penguin hat with a blank expression on it.

It looked kind of stupid on the surface.

Or maybe it looked like it had no thoughts.

It felt similar to Hayeon’s everyday expressionless face.

I got tired of matching the fashion show with Ha-yeon, so I brought a penguin hat.

“Here, try this on.”

“…A penguin?”

“You look just like it, right? This?”

She didn’t seem to like the hat I brought.

She looked at me with slightly dissatisfied eyes.

“It’s not great… It’s ugly.”

“If it’s ugly, then the penguin will be hurt. I’ve let you wear everything I brought. You should wear it too.”

“Sigh… Fine.”

While pretending to be angry, I put the penguin hat on her head.

And my judgment was correct.

The image I wanted was reflected in her eyes.

“hahahaha… hahahahaha. It really suits you… hahahahaha… I’m going crazy.”

One fierce face under another fierce face.

Seeing us together like a pair, looking like duplicates, laughter burst out.

Even though they didn’t seem similar at all, they were very much alike.

“Hey, are you teasing me by bringing this? Here.”

“No… hahahahaha… See, it really suits you. Look in the mirror.”

Ha-yeon looked at her own face in the mirror after my words.

Seeing her mouth popping out slightly, it seemed that she didn’t really like it.

“It’s weird! I won’t wear it… It’s no good. Really.”

“It’s okay. Really… *sigh*.”

“Please stop laughing and talk.”

And with that, Ha-yeon took off the penguin hat.

She handed me the hat, telling me to put it back where it was originally.

But I wasn’t the type to give up at this point.

Isn’t it human nature to want to do more when someone dislikes it?

I mischievously pretended to put the penguin hat back and turned away from her.

Ha-yeon carefully looked at other headbands, trying to choose.

And once again, I put the penguin hat on her head.

“…?”

Ha-yeon looked at me with a puzzled expression, and once again, I burst into laughter at that expression.

“Heeheehee… I think I might pass out… huff huff…”

“Ah~! Stop it, seriously.”

“Why? Because it really suits you? We match perfectly, no matter how I look at it.”

I playfully put on and took off a penguin hat on her head.

Ha-yeon had a slightly annoyed face, thinking that I was teasing her.

Then she reached out and grabbed the hand that was about to put the hat on again.

“Are you not going to stop if I tell you just once more?”

Normally, I would have teased her even more at this point.

But I couldn’t say anything in response to her words.

Her hand, trying to block the hat, was tightly holding my hand.

“…Ah, okay. Sorry.”

As soon as I gave in, Ha-yeon, who knew my personality well, looked at me as if something was strange.

And she followed my gaze to where I was looking.

“…So, would you mind letting go of this?”

“…Ah, sorry.”

Ha-yeon slowly released the hand that she had held gently.

I felt regret flooding in as the atmosphere became awkward.

…I should have teased and talked a bit more moderately.

Actually, if we were just friends, I wouldn’t have to pay much attention to this level of physical contact.

But she and I had a slightly unique relationship.

That’s why I couldn’t help but be concerned about such things.

“…”

In the end, we quickly picked out two headbands that we liked at the souvenir shop and hurriedly left.

We didn’t say much during that time. No, there was hardly any conversation.

*

“Doesn’t this seem higher than before?”

“…It was always like this.”

“It doesn’t feel that way. It seems higher than in the past.”

“Coward.”

While climbing the stairs to the roller coaster starting point, I looked down below.

It felt much higher than I had expected since it had been a while since I last rode one.

…Not that it was scary or anything.

“…Are you scared?”

“What’s there to be scared of? It’s just that it feels different riding after a long time.”

“You’re scared.”

Ha-yeon maintained her usual expressionless face.

Although Ha-yeon liked amusement parks, it didn’t mean she wasn’t afraid.

In fact, she enjoyed it because it was scary.

So, I knew that her true feelings were similar to mine.

That show of bravado was clearly fake.

“Now you can ride up to this point~!”

Ha-yeon and I took the front seat of the roller coaster.

The safety bar came down, and the roller coaster began its ascent.

“…Seo Ha-yeon, don’t pretend. I know you’re scared.”

“No. Not at all. I’m not scared even a bit. Do you think I’m you?”

But your eyes are shaking a lot to say that.

The roller coaster soon started moving and gradually climbed up the hill.

A thrilling sensation ran through my spine.

*snap*

With a sound of something being caught, the roller coaster momentarily stopped.

Ha-yeon and I exchanged glances, knowing it was time to drop.

We looked into each other’s trembling eyes.

“aaahhhhh!”

An unknown scream echoed along with the descent.