My Younger Sister Was My First Love

51. She Saw It

No matter what the reason, I was the one at fault now.

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“It’s just that I…….”

“Answer my question. Do you dislike me? Or not?”

The determination Jihee had made over the past few days silently crumbled away in her reddened eyes.

“…… I don’t dislike you.”

Actions speak louder than words, after all.

I had already hugged Jihee, and that was proof.

All of this was a problem that arose because I liked Jihee.

The problem was me, who couldn’t clearly set boundaries from the start and treat Jihee like family.

If I had truly hated and rejected such behaviors from the beginning, we wouldn’t have reached this point.

If I had built a strong wall from the start, Jihee might have already given up and sorted out her feelings.

“Will you do that again?”

Sniffling, Jihee looked up at me.

“I won’t pretend to be hurt.”

“You know that’s not what I’m saying.”

That person wasn’t oblivious to that extent.

Jihee was saying “Let’s not deliberately distance ourselves from each other again” right now.

“Jihee.”

I reached out and gently stroked the tear-stained path on her face.

“……Yeah.”

“Do you like me?”

“……Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re family.”

This was the conversation we always had.

“Then I’ll ask you one more thing.”

Jihee slowly nodded.

“Even if I’m not your family, will you still like me?”

The atmosphere became still.

Jihee looked at me with an unaware expression, her eyes wide open, as if she didn’t know she was asking this question.

I couldn’t read her emotions.

What came out of her mouth was not an answer, but another question.

“Did you see something, oppa?”

Our sibling relationship was about to take a new step from here.

* * *

I couldn’t answer right away.

Oppa’s question was like “What would you do if a meteorite came and destroyed the world?” – it was that absurd.

Once a family, always a family.

This was common sense for ordinary people.

In a world where couples who had made a hundred-year vow got divorced, it was rare for siblings to stop being siblings.

Only when people who had become family through remarriage got divorced did this sentence become a reality.

What was important was why oppa, who had been lying to me and avoiding me all along, was asking me this question now.

Let’s recall the starting point of our awkward relationship.

It was right after oppa went to fix my tablet.

It wasn’t an accident that happened while watching lectures.

It was something that happened while I was watching cartoons on the sofa alone.

I didn’t think I would get caught, even with the lock function.

But I guess I was wrong.

That crappy Chinese IT company was like trash.

I regretted not choosing a company with good security.

Oppa didn’t answer my question about what he saw.

He just threw my words back at me.

“You’re asking me something that’s not what I meant.”

“……Once a family, always a family.”

“But that’s not always the case, you know that.”

“Are you saying that Dad and Mom are getting a divorce now?”

“You did it with your real mom too. Why do you think it won’t happen with our mom?”

I didn’t know what he meant by those words, but they were quite hurtful.

Our dad is the embodiment of infidelity.

It was already a miracle that he got married to Mom after having an affair with her.

I didn’t know when he would revert to his old habits again.

Maybe, unbeknownst to me, he had already been involved in sordid relationships underwater.

“Why would Dad get a divorce when Aunt is so charming?”

“Maybe Mom wants a divorce too.”

“What do you want to hear by asking me that?”

“Let me ask you again.”

My brother’s hand gently caressed my cheek.

“Will you still like me even if I’m not your brother?”

It was a childish and tiring question, like a lover’s tantrum.

‘Will you still love me if I become 100kg overweight?’

‘Will you still marry me if I get into an accident and become disabled?’

What’s the difference between these questions?

It’s not hard to whisper sweet nothings like ‘I’ll always be with you no matter what.’

But when such things actually happen, most people turn their backs and leave.

It’s tough.

How can you endure and live through such things?

“……What about you, brother?”

I bit my lip and evaded the answer.

“You know, I liked you even before we became family.”

“And now?”

“It seems like it’ll change depending on your answer now.”

This was the first time.

I had never lost control like this with my brother.

Even though he didn’t say it out loud, it was clear that he had discovered my secret.

The contents of the tablet were so vast that he might not have seen everything, but it was obvious that he had a rough idea of what was going on.

“I…….”

I thought about it.

Would I still like Junho even if Dad got a divorce?

The moment ‘brother’ disappeared, Junho would become just an ordinary guy who had confessed to me among many others.

I wanted to be with him, but if he was no longer in that position……

An ordinary couple.

A sweet romance without any dangerous elements, like a gentle stream.

That’s……

As I hesitated to respond, my oppa (older brother/older male friend) lifted my leg off his and got out of bed.

“Where are you going?”

“I was sleeping in your room, but I had something to do at the academy.”

“So, are you going to school now?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to be late?”

I felt anxious.

Could I just end the conversation like this and send my oppa off?

“No, I’ll be right back.”

My oppa gave a somewhat bitter smile and placed his hand on my head.

It was the skinship (physical touch) I had written about in my diary, saying I liked it.

My oppa gently stroked my hair.

“I was planning to study hard today, so I’ll see you later.”

* * *

It was the first time I had called Min-ju (a friend’s name) without making an appointment.

No, it was like the first time I had ever suddenly called a friend without making plans.

“Ji-hoon!”

Min-ju, wearing a light blue knit sweater and with her short hair fluttering, sat down beside me.

“Did you come?”

“What’s going on? You called me first without making plans.”

“I couldn’t think of anyone else to call right away.”

“Hmm?”

Min-ju let out a strange, questioning sound.

“What’s wrong? You.”

“Does it show?”

“Yes. You look like a guy with a lot of troubles, with a gloomy face.”

“That’s not it.”

I hadn’t called Min-ju to consult about my worries.

It wasn’t because I needed advice, but because I just wanted to clear my head, relax, and relieve some stress before going home.

I felt stifled.

I didn’t know what to do from now on either.

“So, what do you want to do?”

Min-ju, smiling brightly, tilted her head and met my gaze.

“Let’s not drink… would be good, right?”

“Why can’t we drink?”

“If it were you, would you drink with me again?”

As I brought up the memory of the time we got drunk and had it delivered to my house, Min-ju turned her gaze away.

“I apologized that day. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Anyway, let’s do something else today besides drinking.”

“Because of Ji-hee?”

At the mention of the name Jihee, I nodded my head reluctantly.

No matter how much I tried to ignore the present, I had to go back home.

I had to study and cook meals.

Even though I wasn’t sick, I had been pretending to be a patient, so I had to do better.

“Ji Jun-ho.”

“Why.”

“Did you fight with Jihee?”

It was a moment that perfectly fit the phrase “clean hit.”

How could I not know immediately.

I didn’t say anything.

“I didn’t fight.”

“There must be something going on.”

“It’s just… what… siblings can bicker with each other, can’t they?”

Min-ju looked me straight in the eye, then grabbed my wrist.

“There’s a good place to go at times like this.”

“Where is it?”

“Follow me.”

Min-ju, still holding onto my wrist, took me to a place that crossed the bustling streets.

-Tang!

The bowling pin fell after being hit by the ball.

It didn’t just fall over; it fell exactly one pin behind.

“Why can’t you do it like this?”

“No… I didn’t try, so I couldn’t do it. You were good at it from the start, weren’t you?”

“Yeah. Let me teach you again. Hold the ball like this and swing it back like this to hit the center.”

Min-ju demonstrated, bending her waist elegantly, and smoothly rolled the ball.

The bowling ball drew a beautiful curve, crossing the smooth floor.

Soon, the scoreboard lit up with the word STRIKE.

“Do it like this! Like this!”

“It’s easy to say.”

“Don’t you know that the loser pays for everything?”

“…… Since when?”

“It’s always like that when we come to a place like this.”

“You’d rather try to swindle me, wouldn’t you?”

“Uh-uh. My sister treated me, so I’ll just buy you a drink or two.”

Since Min-ju had unexpectedly agreed to meet me, buying a few drinks was no big deal.

There are often things that are fun even if they’re not good.

Today’s bowling was exactly that.

After one round, the score difference was enormous.

“Mr. Ji Jun-ho, don’t you think you need to practice a bit more?”

“I’ll do it next time. I’ll really practice and come back.”

“Is that true?”

“Yeah. Bowling is fun. I’m having a blast.”

As Min-ju enthusiastically expressed her excitement, a bright smile spread across her face.

“Really? Then I’ll go to the restroom for a bit.”

When Min-ju got up, I took out my phone from my pocket.

There were messages waiting for me.

A lot of them, in fact.

[Oppa, have you arrived at school?]

[Do you want to eat dinner together?]

[…Are you mad at me?]

[Oppa, please respond when you see this.]

I bit my lip, feeling a mix of emotions, but I replied concisely, unlike my younger sibling’s teasing.

[Got it. I’ll contact you later.]

I shouldn’t have checked my phone.

Habitually checking my phone was the problem.

The carefree feeling I had while bowling was now replaced with anxiety again.

“Shall we go?”

When Min-ju returned from the restroom, we headed out.

It was around dinner time.

The city was bustling with people our age.

I thought of Ji-hui, who was probably eating dinner alone at home.

She must have been eating alone for several days already.

Although I felt a pang of regret for impulsively suggesting this outing, I couldn’t muster the courage to turn back now.

I had called Min-ju, after all, so I couldn’t just go back on my own.

“What do you want to eat?”

I perked up at Min-ju’s question.

“Since I’m the one who invited you, you can choose the menu.”

“No way. I chose the game, and now you’re choosing the food. You’re being really uncooperative.”

Min-ju crossed her arms, protesting.

“You came out with me, so I’ll choose the menu based on your preferences.”

“If you’re grateful, then let’s talk instead of choosing the menu.”

“What’s up?”

“Don’t you have something going on with Ji-hui, and that’s why you’re not going home and instead hanging out with me?”

Min-ju seemed to see right through me.

“There’s nothing.”

“You said you had a convenient friend like me, but you’re not even talking to me.”

“Ah, but it’s really nothing.”

“Then why can’t you talk about it?”

Min-ju’s words finally managed to open my tightly shut mouth.

“……You guys didn’t know, right?”

“No! Yeah!”

No matter how you look at it, it’s true.

I couldn’t believe Jihee and I were siblings, and yet they could say something like that.

They’ve crossed the line. This is.

As I furrowed my brows in disbelief, Minju took a step back.

Her eyes, gazing at me, were filled with anxiety.

The atmosphere was completely different from before.

“If we slept together in the same bed wearing underwear, wouldn’t it be natural for that to happen next?”

I lost my words for a moment.