Aura: 23 - Optimism
"That was more violent than I'd expected." Andrew commented, frowning as he and Cathryn left the venue for chariot racing. He'd been thinking something like Nascar, but instead it was like bumper cars with things that broke. Thankfully there were protections in place so no one actually died, but there were definitely injuries.
"Do you think that one guy will be alright?" Cathryn asked nervously.
"He should be. We do have healing enchantments, but… I'm not sure how good they are at reattaching arms." Andrew's frown deepened.
Cathryn shuddered. "Can- can we go somewhere else?"
"Yeah, definitely." Andrew nodded. That had been a bad idea.
They looked around at the different offerings, before deciding they should probably get some food first, ending up in a Greek sandwich place. Cathryn moaned as she bit into hers. "Why is all the food around here so good!?!"
"I think it's the Beast meat." Andrew commented. "Something about having ability energy just makes you taste good." Cathryn's eyebrows rose, before she flushed and Andrew grinned. "I heard that. Who knew you had a dirty side~" He teased her.
"Shut up!" Cathryn groaned, her flush deepening.
"You know, you can try it later. Who knows? Maybe it does taste good." Andrew continued, his grin widening.
"You are the worst!" Cathryn exclaimed, covering her face in embarrassment.
"Hey, it was your idea." Andrew chuckled, giving her a look. She was kind of adorable like this.
Cathryn peeked out from behind her hands, still flushing. "You- you think I'm adorable?"
Andrew froze, before shaking his head. "Right, the Bond. Yes, you're adorable. I enjoy teasing people, you know? I think it comes from my Monkey side. Seeing someone get all embarrassed over a little joke… it's cute."
Cathryn shifted uncomfortably, not sure how to respond, which was honestly even cuter, and Andrew thinking that caused her to shift even more, even as she tried not to, which was even more cute, and so on and so on. It was like a recurrent loop of adorableness and all Andrew had to do was watch. Slowly, Cathryn's thoughts began to shift and Andrew's eyebrows rose. The things she was thinking… audacious, yet intriguing. "I-I can't- please- please stop." Cathryn begged with a groan, covering her face again.
Andrew coughed awkwardly, looking away as he concentrated on something else. Oh, hey, there was that elf- "Ow!" Andrew flinched as Cathryn flicked his ear.
"Don't you have enough on your plate right now?!?" Cathryn asked, a hint of anger in her tone.
"What- it isn't- it's not like that!" Andrew protested. "I'm just- there's an inherent level of curiosity that seeing an attractive woman brings out in a man! I would never act on it, but I mean, come on! That shit is ridiculous! You wouldn't be human if it didn't give you ideas!"
Cathryn crossed her arms with a huff. "Yeah, right."
Andrew groaned. "You- wait, okay, look, I can prove it!" He began to adjust his aura, putting his Human side as low as it would go while pumping up the rest, before looking back at the elf. "See? Nothing!" He exclaimed, turning back to Cathryn. "Without my human side, the elf is just meat. It's a purely physiological response! But you. You're still adorable. That's me. Not my meat sack's urges, but my honest feelings." He explained, returning his aura to normal as Cathryn began to flush again. He grinned. "Of course, when my human side is here, well, I have plenty of meat sack urges to go around."
She immediately kicked him under the table, making Andrew laugh even as he rubbed his shin. "I don't get you sometimes!" Cathryn huffed. "Are you sweet or are you a pervert? Are you selfish or are you selfless? Do you care or are you just doing what you think you're supposed to do?"
Andrew shrugged. "I'm complex. I'm all of those things, and none of them. We all are. People are very… situational. Take Jing for example. When we first started talking, she'd barely say more than a word or two! Now? She'll give entire speeches! Is she quiet? Yes, in certain situations. But she's the furthest thing from it in others. Hell, you just went from completely embarrassed to angry in the span of a few seconds! That's just how people work. It's not about figuring out who people are, but which situations bring out which sides of them, and why."
Cathryn blinked at him. "And now you're insightful too. Great." She suddenly groaned. "I am so out of my league."
Andrew snorted as he suppressed a laugh. "Okay, yeah, no, leagues aren't a thing. People are people and certain people fit together better than others, but it isn't some arbitrary 'league' that does it. It's just different people wanting different things. Disqualifying yourself from being with someone just because of some imagined 'ranking' that puts you higher or lower than them for some arbitrary reason is just stupid."
"And now you're insulting." Cathryn replied, though she couldn't keep herself from smiling lightly.
Andrew rolled his eyes, grinning slightly. "The truth is never insulting."
"The truth is usually insulting." Cathryn retorted. "It just needs to be said anyway."
Andrew paused. "It depends on your definition of insulting I guess. People may be insulted by the truth, but that doesn't make the truth insulting. I think to be insulting, there's an intent that needs to be behind it. You have to want to insult someone. But a statement of fact has no intent behind it. It just is. Maybe the way you say it could be insulting, or the reason you want to say it could be insulting, but that isn't the truth."
Cathryn rolled her eyes. "I think you're just playing with words so you sound right."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Andrew grinned.
*
After they ate, the two decided to just walk around the base camp for a bit, talking. They held hands, laughed, joked, teased each other… Well, Andrew teased Cathryn. It really was too easy. By the end of the night, they felt… comfortable. It wasn't at the level Andrew and Li Jing had, but there was progress. Andrew could actually see where a relationship with her would go. He could see them actually being happy together. The only hitch was he still wasn't confident in all three of them being happy together. He knew he could make either relationship work, individually. Both girls were pretty great, and he knew he'd be lucky to be with either one of them. But balancing both of them? He felt a little out of his depth. Even though things seemed to be going well, everyone working together to make this strange situation a functional relationship, Andrew couldn't help but feel like somehow he was going to fuck this up. He'd end up neglecting one, neglecting both, going too far and insulting them, making them uncomfortable, or worse, ending up taking advantage of them both as he turned into some sort of self indulgent asshole feeding off-
"Okay, I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but you need to calm down." Cathryn placed a hand on his shoulder, looking at him in concern.
Andrew grimaced. "Sorry. Just- there are so many ways this could all go wrong. If any of us get lazy… it'll all blow up."
"I- I'm sorry." Cathryn apologized sadly. "If it weren't for me… none of this would be happening."
Andrew sighed, shaking his head. "It isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault! It's just life, and life- life sucks sometimes."
Cathryn got a distant look in her eye. "Yeah…"
Andrew glanced at her. "I guess we've both been through some shit, haven't we?"
Cathryn smiled sadly. "Yeah."
Andrew wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. "We'll make it work, don't worry. I'm not going to let this blow up on us as well. This will be something good. I'm not going to let life bone us again." Andrew assured her, before blinking. "Cathryn, I'm trying to be sweet here."
Cathryn flushed. "I-I can't help it! My mind just goes there!"
"The question is, do you go there?" Andrew commented suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows.
Cathryn's flush deepened. "I- I don't- I mean- if- if you'd like-"
"Whoa, whoa, hold on." Andrew pumped the brakes, pulling away. "I was joking. We're barely starting our relationship. I'm not going to push you like that." Cathryn flushed even deeper, and Andrew sighed, shaking his head. "Damn it! I made things awkward."
"No! It's my fault… I should have known it was a joke." Cathryn groaned. "I just- me being here is slowing everything down for you! If- if I could make that up to you…"
"Okay, wow, no, that's- listen, Cathryn, we can't- you are not some object to be used as a transaction, understand? If we- when we're together like that, it's going to be because we both want it, not because you feel like you have to." Andrew explained in a clear, stern tone.
Cathryn twisted awkwardly, her flush returning. "But… I do want it… maybe not now, exactly, but… I- I know I can trust you. That I want to be with you. That- that I want to… be with you. If- if you did ask… I wouldn't say no."
Andrew froze, several different instincts fighting within him. The primal part that just wanted it. The nervous part that worried about making a mistake. The thoughtful part that wondered what the consequences of doing this would be. The part of him that was actually starting to love this woman, and just wanted to be with her. The part that loved Li Jing. Andrew took a deep breath. "If- if it weren't for Jing, then- I honestly might take you up on that offer. We aren't getting away from each other, and barreling forward with our relationship wouldn't really change that. However- we can't jump forward and leave Jing behind. We need to make sure all three of us are okay with how things are progressing, and if that takes longer, then it does. We'll deal with it. We have time."
Cathryn hesitated, before nodding. "You- you're right. I'm being selfish. Sorry."
Andrew shook his head. "No, not selfish, just… it's easy to forget there are three of us in this. We have to watch each other, and make sure we don't screw it all up." Cathryn nodded again.
They walked in silence for a moment, slowly making their way back to the cabin. "I think we're stuck like this." Cathryn muttered after a moment, frowning.
Andrew glanced at her. "What do you mean?"
"I mean… you can't not choose me, because of our Bond. It turns it into a situation where you either choose me or you choose both of us. You wanted to choose Li Jing, but that wasn't an option, so you chose both of us. However, now that you have chosen both of us, then choosing me is no longer an option, because if it was, then the relationship would no longer be fair, and that just wouldn't work. I have to be in this relationship, you have to be in this relationship, which means Li Jing has to be in this relationship if it's going to be fair. We're stuck. None of us can leave." Cathryn explained, sounding somewhat dazed as she did. "There- there was a part of me hoping that eventually either Li Jing would get tired of this and go, or you would like me enough to be okay with leaving her for me, but… I have to kill that part of myself to make any of this work, don't I? It can't be an option. We're balanced on a plate over a pit, and if any of us move, we all fall." Cathryn frowned. "No… me and you would fall, because we're shackled together and can't escape. Li Jing could escape, but we can't let her, or we fall. We have to cling to her, prevent her from escaping to survive."
"Yeah… though it isn't about survival, just the two of us being at least vaguely miserable… for the rest of our very, very, very, very long lives." Andrew paused. "Death may be the better option here. Though, with time, who knows what would happen? Maybe things would suck for a century or two, and then slowly get better."
Cathryn shuddered. "A century is still a long time to be miserable."
Andrew sighed. "True. So, we'll hold on to Jing as tightly as we can, and if it turns out we can't… we'll deal with the consequences." Cathryn smiled sadly, nodding along. They walked a few more steps, before Andrew's arm snaked out, wrapping around her waist and pulling her close. "I'm going to hold on to you too, even if I don't have to, because I want to." He told her seriously, looking her right in the eyes. "Even if we are stuck… I still want this. I want all of us to be happy. Including y-"
Andrew cut off as Cathryn suddenly pressed forward, pushing her lips against his. Andrew's eyes widened for a moment, before settling into the kiss, pulling her closer as he pressed in as well. Maybe he was an idiot, but in that moment, he knew this was all going to work out. Three teenagers in love. What could go wrong?