ALL NOVEL Chapter 168
168th Chapter
Taeyang was always mature.
He remained as an adult who responsibly supported the children, including Gaeul, instead of leaving behind mere desires, jealousy, or indifferent commercial judgments.
That was surely impressive. However, in a way, it might have been an abnormality that surpassed the value of an ideal adult.
Seon Taeyang was human too.
Being human, he had basic animal desires to live, marry, and have children—a social need as well.
Yet there was no guarantee that Seon Taeyang would wait for Gaeul’s growth.
It was just that Taeyang had never shown that side of himself before; he had always displayed a greater image, leading one to think he would consistently maintain that.
However, it could also have been that Gaeul simply hadn’t discovered that side of him.
No, from that recent perspective, Gaeul realized that such a possibility was indeed a reality.
He was also a human capable of love.
For someone other than Gaeul.
“…I’ll head down first. I’m sorry if I made you misunderstand, Gaeul. It was just me being rude without Team Leader Seon’s permission for a bit.”
“That’s not really what you did wrong….”
“Just please tell Gaeul for me… I’m sorry for making it awkward.”
“…”
Seon Taeyang let out a small sigh as he watched Seo Eunbyeol hurriedly go down the rooftop, then spoke to Gaeul.
“I’m sorry. I showed you an unworthy side of myself. An adult crying for comfort isn’t a pretty sight, you know.”
“…Why were you crying?”
“I suddenly remembered old times, I guess? Am I going through a midlife crisis? …Haha, I’m not sure of the exact reason either.”
It was enough of a statement to gloss over with pretense.
But for Gaeul, who had feelings for him, that response was insufficient.
So, Gaeul chose to set off the bomb herself.
“What do you think of Eunbyeol unnie, Taeyang oppa?”
“What do you mean by ‘what do you think’?”
“…Just, what kind of person do you think she is?”
“Simply?”
“Everything that comes to mind.”
Then Taeyang stroked his chin thoughtfully and began to speak.
“Hmm…, Eunbyeol is a wonderful person. Despite the limits of her innate talents, she doesn’t just blame herself for those shortcomings; she always gives her all to overcome them. In that sense, I can trust her with any task at work. Surprisingly, she’s quite introverted and prefers watching stuff like streamers, movies, dramas, and animations over active hobbies. Nevertheless, she genuinely likes people, so when invited to hang out, she happily accepts and tries to find alternate times if she has a schedule instead of automatically cancelling. And….”
“Even if I have a schedule, I try my best to find a different time. And….”
At that moment, Taeyang’s eyes sparkled as he spoke about Seo Eunbyeol.
Gaeul’s heart ached.
Every time she answered the questions she posed, it felt like she was driving a stake into her own heart, causing her chest to hurt more.
Still, she asked her final question.
“Brother Taeyang, have you ever experienced love?”
“…This topic is a bit embarrassing, so can I just say no comment?”
“…But I’d really like to know.”
Scratching his cheek in a flustered way while looking at Gaeul, Taeyang gave a bitter smile and said.
“Yeah.”
“….”
“It’s like I feel that I could dedicate everything to this person.”
‘…Oh, I see.’
Perhaps Gaeul secretly had an inkling.
A future in which Taeyang would see her as more than just a child, a future in which she would confess to him.
And she had vaguely dreamed of it.
Becoming his lover, getting married, going on a honeymoon, having kids, and eventually watching that child grow up and marry, followed by both of them aging slowly in a quiet twilight.
But in this moment, Gaeul realized.
The harsh reality that she might not even get that chance.
“Gaeul, are you okay?”
“….”
‘If Brother Taeyang falls in love, gets married, and starts a family….’
Then she would have to confront the question she had been ignoring.
‘What happens to me?’
Visions of overly realistic scenes flooded her mind.
A woman at Taeyang’s wedding, dressed in a wedding gown, looking extraordinarily fortunate, while Seon Taeyang stood there with love-struck eyes, utterly blissful amid the blessings of the crowd.
And then they would share a solemn vow under the officiant’s guidance, sealed with a kiss.
Gaeul could only stare blankly at that scene.
No, she had no choice but to stare blankly.
‘…I hate this.’
“…Gaeul? Gaeul! You’re sweating! Are you okay? Is your head hurting? Want to go to the hospital together?”
“….”
‘I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.’
Just imagining him leaving her side made her body tremble.
My body starts to tremble.
Nausea rises within me.
My heart, racing too fast, begins to ache uncomfortably.
‘I can’t be without Brother Taeyang by my side. I’m really just a nobody, a hopeless person who can only collapse from exhaustion while working part-time.’
“Not good. I’ll carry you. Let’s head to the hospital together.”
“…”
And in Taeyang’s arms, Gaeul truly felt her emotions.
‘…I can’t give this up.’
No way, no matter what happens, I can’t let go of this hand.
“Brother Taeyang.”
“Yeah, Gaeul. Are you okay? Are you cold? Should I take off my coat?”
So, she brings out her feelings at the worst possible moment.
“I love you. Please be my boyfriend.”
*
Orange, yellow, and purple hues, the world was illuminated at twilight thanks to the changes made by the setting sun.
And my beloved, who fitted so perfectly with those colors, conveyed her feelings.
That she loves me.
To be able to hear such melodic words is nothing short of a miracle. Yet, in front of such a sweet and beautiful confession, I could only say one thing.
“I’m sorry, Gaeul. I can’t be your boyfriend.”
“…”
Gaeul, trembling while holding onto the hem of my clothes in silence, asked,
“Why?”
“Because I’m your manager. And I’m an employee of TwoBear, the leader of a team called Girl Revolution.”
It was a typical, old-fashioned response.
But it was the most essential answer.
For both our sakes and for everyone in TwoBear, such a scandal cannot happen.
I believed, just as Gyeoul did, that Gaeul would understand my answer.
After all, Gaeul was a wise and warm-hearted girl who valued everyone.
However, what Gaeul said was different from my expectations.
“You said you like me, Brother Taeyang.”
“That’s only because you’re a singer and an idol…”
“…You said I have a beauty reminiscent of first love.”
Gaeul’s eyes dimmed.
“Well then, at least my appearance must match your taste, right? If there’s anything lacking, I’ll fix it. I’ll change to suit your preferences!”
“That’s not it! You’re already charming, and you don’t need to change at all. I don’t want that.”
“Then please date me. I’ll do my best. I won’t be a burden, and I’ll do everything to make you happy, Brother Taeyang!”
“I’ll do everything I can to make it possible!”
“…Gaeul, you’re an idol. You know what restrictions come with that name, right? You understand how it would look if we started dating, don’t you?”
In my words of resignation, Gaeul finds a lifeline and holds on tight.
“So, if I’m no longer an idol, is it okay then?”
Even if that lifeline is rotten.
“Once our contract is over, can you date me? …I can wait! I can wait not just 5 or 6 years, but even 10! Then, on that day, can I be by Team Leader Seon’s side? Just promise me, and that would be enough!”
“…You want to date when the contract ends?”
“Yes! If that’s the case, I can wait forever!”
“….”
Her words were shockingly similar to something I’d heard in the past.
After all, the reason Seo Eunbyeol and I met our tragic end was because of that very line about dating once the contract ended.
That is poison.
Can a person really endure a fever of love for 6 years, just waiting?
No.
Even though Seo Eunbyeol prefaced it with ‘once the contract ends,’ she gradually began to desire a relationship as lovers.
Under the excuse of ‘since we promised to date in the future, this much is fine,’ she began risky approaches like skinship and gradually brought that into the public eye. As time passed, she wanted more proof that we had agreed to be together.
Even though it was unavoidable due to work, I didn’t want anyone of the opposite sex getting close to me. I even tried to physically block it.
Eventually, she revealed that we were dating.
The most catastrophic scandal for an idol began with Seo Eunbyeol’s own mouth.
I thought it would be fine too.
I believed that if we kept each other in check, we could be faithful to both love and work.
It was arrogance. I should have stopped it.
I couldn’t because I was just as foolish, unable to resist the impulse.
And the outcome was a disaster that made everyone unhappy.
I am a fool. But even with this second chance, I had no intention of repeating the same mistake.
“Even if the contract ends, I still can’t date you.”
“…Why not?”
“Because I don’t see you that way. And I won’t ever look at you that way.”
Gaeul trembles softly, desperately asking as if searching for any glimmer of hope.
“…How long?”
I cut that hope short.
“Forever.”