ALL NOVEL Chapter 169
Chapter 169
On the rooftop of TwoBear’s building, and Gaeul.
It was a place and a person I knew all too well, yet it felt painfully unfamiliar.
Maybe it was the premonition that I would remember all these moments in a different way from now on.
I hoped that premonition would be wrong.
“…forever.”
Gaeul, repeating the words I had said, looked at me and tried to lift the corners of her mouth as much as possible.
“…What’s the reason? Do I not look like a woman? Is it because I’m unattractive? Or my age?”
Gaeul is incredibly attractive. She could easily be listed among the top four in the world. If it were any other time, I would have showered her with praises for that question about her charm. But even in this moment, I couldn’t speak honestly with my usual pure impression.
What I needed to say was an answer that would hurt her.
That made me hesitate to open my mouth.
“I think I have my own charm too. When I read posts online, there are parts where I get good reviews. And…”
Gaeul tightly wrapped my right hand with both of hers.
“You might think I look young still, but my chest…”
And then Gaeul pulled my hand towards her chest.
I reflexively pushed her hand away before it could touch.
Flustered by my own reaction, I apologized to her.
“Sorry, I got surprised…”
Then Gaeul, looking at me with dead eyes, smiled alluringly yet precariously and said.
“If it’s Brother Taeyang, it would be okay to touch…”
“…”
That was when I finally realized.
That a gentle approach where no one gets hurt is now impossible.
That it has become a reality that I can no longer stay in the same relationship with Gaeul as before.
“If Team Leader Seon isn’t here, everyone gets disappointed! Especially how much people love the parts where Team Leader Seon and I sing together. …Of course, me too.”
Moments spent with Yoo Gaeul, the shining connection that brightens the mundane days and evokes such dazzling memories filled with expectations, all sparkled like gems.
They were all treasures to me. So precious that I wouldn’t want to exchange them for anything.
I didn’t want to lose them. I wanted to protect them.
Yet, it was something I had to do. If I truly wanted to protect TwoBear and Girl Revolution.
It was a job. If I have the heart to protect TwoBear and the Girl Revolution.
“You wanted to know the reason? I’ll tell you…”
Language can become the sharpest blade depending on how it’s used.
A blade that tears and rips through the heart, both sharp and filthy.
“…Ah.”
Knowing that, I spew poison. I plant venom.
I make the girl in front of me realize that Seon Taeyang is far from being the ideal man.
The love and knowledge I held for Gaeul become tools to wound her.
“…Ahh.”
Likely, from today onward, Gaeul will never smile brightly at me as before.
I accept it.
That’s the natural consequence for a filthy adult who turns their back on the pure heart of that child and chooses the company’s and the Girl Revolution’s interests.
“…”
Such rotten words achieve only the purpose of a disastrous relationship.
“…I believe you now know enough of the reason. Let’s pretend this didn’t happen. I’ll forget it, even if it’s not what you want.”
Gaeul sat down, as if her legs had given out, tears streaming down her face as she looked only at me.
I couldn’t bear to meet her gaze any longer. So, I turned my back.
“…I’ll go ahead, so if your heart grows cold, come down.”
As I reached for the door to escape the rooftop, a soft voice called from behind.
“Brother Taeyang.”
I slowly turned my head. And there she was.
“…Gaeul.”
Gaeul stood over the railing of the setting sun-drenched rooftop.
As if she were about to fall at any moment.
I reached out my hand and took a step toward her.
Then Gaeul took a step back. There was no turning back now.
Automatically, I stopped my steps, frozen in place as if I were an ice statue.
It felt like if I moved forward, I would lose Gaeul forever.
No, that possibility was high.
In that precarious inch of space, Gaeul spoke.
“Brother Taeyang.”
“Yeah, Gaeul. First, calm down and….”
“I love you, Brother Taeyang.”
“…”
“I can’t be without you, Brother Taeyang.”
Her sweet confession crumbled like dried twigs snapping.
It crumbled like the sound of breaking.
“If I am to be hated by Brother Taeyang, if I truly don’t deserve love… I don’t think I can live my life holding onto any expectations.”
“The world… the world has so many things you can expect and dream about. Songs, idols, all the countless bonds you’re going to meet and that make you who you are now. Love? Romance? There are so many wonderful people out there. Someone who will love you is just everywhere. Gaeul, you deserve that. So why bother with someone like me…?”
“It’s not just ‘why bother.'”
Gaeul said listlessly with dead eyes.
“To me, you are everything.”
“….”
“Brother Taeyang. Without you, I am nothing. If everything about me doesn’t catch your interest, then it’s all meaningless.”
“…Why is it meaningless?! Gaeul, you’re amazing, beautiful, and have so much!”
“But you’ve said all those things aren’t your type. You said you would never love me forever. You said you wouldn’t see me as anything romantic, not even for a moment, and that wouldn’t change—right?”
“….”
“Then why is it worth anything? I just really don’t get it.”
It felt like my head was going to explode.
I had no clue what to do.
I just thought vaguely that I needed to stabilize Gaeul’s feelings somehow.
The desperate feeling that I couldn’t leave things as they are won over.
“Gaeul, what I said just now, the words that hurt you… were all lies.”
So, what I chose was a futile struggle, hoping that Gaeul would escape that precarious space.
“Lies?”
“Yeah, lies! The words about hating you, that I would never like you—those were all lies! I was just being selfish, a coward, choosing to run away from facing your feelings. There’s no way I could dislike someone like you!”
With a trembling voice, Gaeul asked.
“Then, am I attractive to you?”
“Of course you’re attractive. You’re my chosen idol.”
“I’m not asking for objective judgment. I’m asking for your subjective opinion.”
…There’s no escaping this after all.
I couldn’t lift my head and answered.
“You’re attractive. To me, you’re fatally so.”
“Do you love me?”
“Do you love me?”
“I love you. I’m not sure if it’s to the extent you’re expecting though.”
“Can you marry me and have kids?”
“I can. That would be an overwhelming happiness for me.”
“Then, can you agree to what I said about dating after my contract is over?”
Closes eyes tightly.
And repeats the sins I vowed never to commit again.
“Yeah, if you can wait for 5 years and 7 months until your contract ends.”
“….”
Opens eyes in anguish. Raises head to confront reality.
To face Gaeul in front of me.
And I saw.
Gaeul, precariously standing by the railing, shedding tears with lifeless eyes that were struck by my hurtful words.
“….”
She was smiling.
As if the precarious space beyond the railing, ready to face death, didn’t matter at all, as if she had only waited for my words, filled with ecstasy and allure.
She was laughing joyfully.
“…Hehe.”
As if the situation until just now was all a lie, or merely a brief folly, Gaeul lightly stepped over the railing and walked towards me.
As I blankly gazed at her, just when her nose was about to touch mine, I reflexively stepped back.
“….”
Again, silence settled between us.
In that chilling stillness that sharply scraped at my throat, Gaeul smiled softly and grabbed the hem of my clothes, as if content for now.
And on the rooftop painted crimson by the sunset, wearing the yellow training jersey I gifted her, Gaeul looked at me and said.
“I love you, Brother Taeyang.”
With a tear she couldn’t wipe away from one eye, and a smile on her lips, she spoke as if this moment was the most blissful of all.
“Forever from now on.”