ALL NOVEL 51. Comfortable Reflections
After the weighty conversation with the first officer eventually ended, I finally left the bridge for the recreation lounge. I’d not been before, but Mikaela gave me directions. Of course, I promptly made a wrong turn, but Vox was thankfully paying attention and gently steered me in the correct direction.
The lounge was small compared to those I’d been to on D’reth and Illume stations, but it was appropriately sized for a long range transport and its crew. An old fashioned pool table sat prominently off to one side while a cluster of comfortable looking chairs around a viewscreen took up much of the remaining space. There was also a tiny workout gym connected to the lounge, but I had little interest in that. Instead, I plopped into a chair and reclined it all the way back to engage in a method of dissociation I’d learned many years ago: music.
My cerebral implant fed all of the music directly to my auditory nerves, so I wasn’t able to feel it in my body like if it were playing over speakers, but I could forgive that since I didn’t have to bother anyone else with it this way.
After an indeterminate amount of time (one hour and thirteen minutes, according to my literal internal clock that I definitely wasn’t paying attention to), Echo walked in looking tired.
I mentally flicked the pause button on my music and looked at my girlfriend expectantly. She seemed to pick up on my unspoken inquiry and flopped backwards across my lap while groaning loudly rather than getting her own chair. Of course, I laughed softly at her antics but awkwardly bent down to kiss her, all the while, my hands grabbed her to pull the other woman into a position that was more comfortable for me.
“I get that Dad is all about niceties, but by the stars does it drone on!”
“You know,” I started. “This really isn’t a very respectable position to be in as a captain.” The amused grin on my face made it difficult to show any real disappointment however.
One of my hands pulled around her hip, though she only used the opportunity to snuggle in closer, leaving me to chuckle softly at her antics even as she stuck her tongue out at me in response. “I’m the captain…” She grumbled. “Can do what I want…”
It was honestly adorable watching Echo try and fail to have a pity party for herself, and I found it hard to resist her pleading eyes when she asked just to cuddle for a while, not that I was really about to ignore that kind of request anyways. After shifting around some so that we could both be comfortable in the lounger, we ended up napping for a bit, both too happy just to have the other’s company after a day that had been eventful for both of us. The quiet of the lounge was nice too. For whatever reason, none of the other crew disturbed us and we were left in peace.
I still wasn’t really convinced that I really deserved this life, the doubts plagued my mind despite all of the assurances Mikaela had given me. But, at the same time, another part of me was beginning to accept it. What was the harm, after all, in enjoying a moment of calm when it was presented?
In days passed, it was all I could do to just take life one day at a time. There would always be another obstacle in front of me, another task to accomplish. I had to face each one, but I forced myself to only take one on at a time, because any more would overwhelm me. That was the only way I could function. Now though, there wasn’t that issue. The obstacles I faced now were nothing in comparison. No longer did I need to worry about making rent or jury-rigging my way through another maintenance inspection. Not having food to eat wasn’t something I needed to worry about anymore.
Without those pressing issues, I was still falling into that habit, though. I was looking for the next problem, waiting for the other shoe to drop. That was the lesson that Mikaela tried to get into my head. Not that I was wrong before, or that I was even wrong now, just that it was okay to leave the past where it was. I had done what I needed to survive, now I needed to live the life I’d fought for. And that meant taking life one day at a time. It was the same phrase, sure, but now it was slowing me down instead of letting me keep up.
I was honest when I told the first officer that I was happy with my new life. I’d just let the old mindset of constantly preparing for the next trouble poison that happiness. It was okay to live the life I fought for, even if it wasn’t the one I thought I was working towards.
Why fight to find another problem to solve when I was comfortable and cuddling with the woman who shined starlight into my life? Why look for the next thing that might hurt me, when the thing that made it worth living was right in front of me?
It was all terribly romantic, of course, but it was true. I hugged Echo a little bit tighter and took a deep breath, allowing myself a smile as I let it out.
I woke up some time later to a subtle ringing in my head. Not the ringing you might get in the ears, but actually echoing inside my head.
“Though the decreased cortisol and increased serotonin levels in your blood are wonderful to see, Miss Adresta, I thought it would be best to have you awake at this time.”
The little voice in my head was disrupting my snugs. This was not pleasing. In a tone that I will never admit was whining, I sleepily responded: “But comfy…”
“Your level of comfort is important to me, however, I find it statistically likely that being late to arrive on the bridge for departure would be significantly more uncomfortable for you than getting up now. I am also inclined to note that the same could be said for the captain of the ship.”
Vox’s tone carried little to no emotional inflection, but it wasn’t hard to understand that she would be laughing her ass off at me were she human. Sometimes I was glad that she wasn’t. Human Vox would be the ultimate mother hen, for all of the good and evil that could possibly entail.
My mumbling and grumbling seemed to catch the attention of the still-dozing Callisto Erickson as well, and my girlfriend began to stir next to me in the chair. The lounge chair wasn’t overly large and only barely fit the both of us, so that stirring caused some rather fun and interesting things press into my side. Difficult as it was though, I had to stay strong and ignore the blissful squish being pressed against me, because, loath as I was to admit it, Vox was right.
Echo managed to escape the chair first and she stretched as high as she could after doing so. “Stars, but I think I needed that nap.” She pointed a smile at me. “The pillow was nice too.” I grinned right back at her as she fought back a yawn. “What time is it? How long were we out?”
Quite suddenly there was a startled look in her eyes that disappeared almost immediately, only to be replaced with a startled look that said everything I needed to know.
“Jeeze,” said Echo. “That AI friend of yours really loves scaring the shit out of people doesn't she?”
I laughed. “Vox? Yeah, she does. She means well and never causes real problems, but damned if she doesn’t have a mischievous streak like a comet.”
Of course, the AI couldn’t let me say that without making her own opinion known, and I wasn’t particularly surprised when she interjected with, “As an artificially intelligent assistant, I am, of course, incapable of such mischief.” I could almost hear the playful sneer and upturned nose in her tone. Judging by the snickering from Echo, I had to assume that Vox had shared that response with both of us.
“Right…” I deadpanned back. “And I’m the newly crowned king of Mars.” I didn’t even bother keeping the response in my head, since Echo was already part of the conversation.
Vox’s tone shifted to one of masterfully feigned innocence. “Genetic, sociological and mythological arguments would seem to rather thoroughly prove your claim to be false, Miss Adresta. My statement, at least, was factually true according to the most recent Turing Protocol testing batteries I was submitted to.” After having seen her in the digital flesh, I could just imagine the absolute shit-eating grin Vox would be wearing were she human.
“Because we all know how accurate those were,” came Echo’s sarcastic reply. She shook her head mirthfully before sighing. When she spoke again, I could hear the shift from humored to resigned seriousness. “We should probably get going though, Addy. I need to be in the cargo bay to sign the release papers for that reactor.”
She said it casually, but I knew there was something up by the subtle pleading in her eyes. “I don’t really think you need a pilot for that task, but you’re in charge so I guess I can go.” I didn’t really mind going with her though. It wasn’t like I was doing anything terribly interesting.
Echo kissed me. “I guess sometimes it really is good to be the captain.”
Together, the two of us walked the corridors and took a lift until we arrived in the Ratatosk’s massive primary cargo bay. It was kind of funny to me that this was really where things had really started for me and the massive shift my life had taken. As incredible a crew as it had, and as illustrious as its name was, Ratatosk was a humble freighter. And yet, the ship had also become a major player in the changes my life had undergone. The thought left me almost wishing I could stay on Ratatosk, though I knew that wasn’t likely my path forward.
When the doors slid open to allow us entry to the bay, I found that I couldn’t very well see much of it. From the fore crew access, I could see the two tugs tied down to the deck, one of them obviously not a usual occupant as told by the freshly installed locking lugs not matching the rest of the hardware around. They were ugly things, as ships went, even to me. The cockpits were tiny, barely large enough to fit a pilot wearing a self-sealing suit, while the rest of the vessel was almost entirely taken up by the power plant and oversized engines. Behind them though, sat what was likely the single largest object I’d ever seen inside of a ship that wasn’t actually part of said ship.
Slipspace gates were gigantic, of course, but it was easy to forget just how big when you only ever saw them from afar. Despite it only being the core of a reactor assembly, the core that had been stuffed into the cargo bay in front of me dwarfed anything else in sight. I’d worked on reactor cores, I’d even partially rebuilt the reactor for the Oxide. Nothing I had ever touched could prepare me to do work on this monstrosity. The magnetic phase couplers (Those at least I could identify) were each bigger than me even before I’d lost several inches of height and the deuterium fuel lines could have fit small children inside. Yet, as massive as it was, this was only the heart of the reactor that would power a node of the gate network. In order to be brought into operation, this core would need to be installed into the even more massive housing that would provide all of the fuel and in turn harness the energy produced to send ships from one side of the settled systems to another.
I was trained as an engineer and had grown up with gates being part of daily life, that didn’t change the fact that they were incredibly impressive miracles of science, nor did any of that mean that I actually understood it all.
Before I even realized that I’d spaced out while staring at the behemoth machine, Echo had already signed the paperwork and sent the yard representative on his way. She then proceeded to give me a thump to the shoulder.
“Come on, Addy, we’ve got a job to do.”