So I’m a Fish, So What?

Absolute.

Just like Perfect, it is a word that is only ever used in a relative sense.

True perfection is a concept that the human brain is unable to comprehend.

Flaws are a natural part of existence, after all.

However, absoluteness is different.

There are in fact not just one, but two examples that even us humans –as puny as we are in the grand scale of reality– can identify as absolute.

Death and time.

Everyone and everything is equal in front of them.

The coming of death and the passage of time are absolute and inescapable.

Not even the mighty gods themselves can avoid them.

——Or can they?

In a certain dormitory in the Analeit Royal Academy,

I was awakened from a deep sleep by a strange nightmare.

My eyes snapped wide open and my body subconsciously jumped up in horror.

The sounds of my own panicked breaths and racing heartbeat loudly reverberate in my ears, along with a seemingly unending stream of sticky, cold sweat coating my body.

What the heck did I see?!

As I try to recall the scenes I thought were etched into my head, I am greeted by an overwhelming headache that threatens to take away my consciousness once more.

“AaaAAhHaHhhh–Dammit!” I groaned painfully. “What the fuck was that about?! Huff Huff”

Nothing.

I can’t remember many details from that nightmare.

But rather than just forgetting, it feels as if my brain just refuses to recall those terrifying memories.

They are still there though– That, I’m sure of.

Selective amnesia, I believe it was called.

Thankfully –or not really–, I can at least remember one seemingly crucial picture.

 

Eyes.

Too many eyes.

Eyes everywhere.

Eyes gazing at me from every direction.

I’m trapped.

Help.

 

Shaking away another excruciating headache, I suppressed my shivering body through sheer will and slowly stood up.

Not bothering to check the magical wall clock, I make my way to the bathroom like a zombie on a mission.

Skillfully channeling my magic into the magical faucet, I let it fill up my bath with hot water while I proceeded to thoroughly wash the sweat off of my body.

A few minutes later, I enter the bath, slowly lowering my body until only my head and arms remain visible.

If my biological clock is accurate –which it has always been–, I have at least an hour to enjoy this steamy bath.

We were informed that the academy has a special outdoor activity planned for the day, meaning our schedule starts much later than usual.

Closing my eyes, I let my thoughts drift away in an effort to distract myself from that haunting nightmare.

I unconsciously started recalling my days in the academy.

But there really isn’t much to remember.

My academy life can only be described as uneventful– or just straight up mundane, if I’m being blunt about it.

That’s astonishing considering there are at least seven people who are suitable for the main character role if our lives were made into a manga!

Fei, Shun, Sue, Filimos, Hugo, Yuri, and I.

Come to think of it, Fei and Filimos were seldom present, so they’re actually unsuited for the role.

Fei spends her days sneaking out, doing her best to get in touch with and acquire more magical affinities for her reincarnation skill.

She did take the time and effort to evolve when she realized the lifespan of her race at the time was coming to an end.

It was one of the rare outings where she didn’t need to secretly sneak out and even had Shun’s maid and knight assisting her.

Monster evolution brings about a huge increase in strength.

And being stronger is never a bad thing, though being that much larger makes sneaking out a near impossible endeavor.

Now she can only rely on my Spatial Magic to do so, which I’m more than okay with– really.

Our relationship has long become something like best friends over our time together and I even shared a few more of my secrets with her.

Life has become much more cheerful overall with her addition.

Sure enough, man is by nature a social animal.

Unlike Fei, Filimos’s whereabouts and actions are as mysterious as ever.

She tends to pop in and out of existence whenever and wherever she desires without having to face any sort of consequences for it.

Shun did ask the teacher about it multiple times out of worry for Filimos’s well-being, but even his highness the fourth prince always gets coolly brushed off.

It was an astonishing scene to watch at first, but I just got used to it over time.

Crazy, I know right?

Personally, I am very interested in what she and her fellow elves have been up to, but it’s more out of caution rather than worry or curiosity.

Nobody likes being in the dark when their own life and future are on the line.

Especially with the looming possibility of an insane, yandere Filimos gunning for you.

This also reminds me of Shun’s rival and archenemy, Hugo.

Those two have been at it since the very first time they met.

For some unknown reason, Hugo’s egomania seems to swell into unimaginable levels whenever Shun is in close proximity, leading him to act in an … unpleasant manner.

More often than not, he indirectly or directly caused harm to innocent bystanders.

And more often than not, Shun and sometimes I had to take it upon ourselves to deal with the aftermath.

It was usually only Shun though– I only contributed when it wasn’t too troublesome.

But all of that is in the past tense.

Hugo hasn’t been causing much trouble lately, and Shun’s been too absorbed in his own routine to care about his usual antics.

Due to a little incident that occurred during our first practical magic lesson, Shun’s been spending most of his time training.

We were supposed to acquire Water Magic through a specialized staff the academy lent us, but Hugo ended up using a strong Fire Magic and starting a mini forest fire instead.

I wasn’t really paying attention, but I believe he did it to feed his ego by showing off his might to us ‘weaklings’.

However, his sense of fulfillment was short-lived since Shun immediately reacted by throwing a huge Water Ball at the fire to extinguish it.

As you might expect, that really did not sit well with Hugo.

Then began shouting and arguing with each other right in the middle of the lesson.

That farce went on until Hugo decided to pull up his staff and started constructing a fireball spell with the intention of retaliating against Shun.

And Shun wasn’t one to take it lying down as he also began preparing another waterball in response.

And then… nothing happened.

I took that unwarranted exchange of magic as my cue to intervene, destroying both of their magic circles before they could activate.

What followed was a long, harsh scolding for both of them.

According to witness reports, my face was so scary back then that even the teacher who arrived way too late for the commotion was too scared to interrupt me.

I won’t get into the details, but let’s just say things were different after that day.

Hugo seemed to really listen to me and restrained himself afterwards, but Shun had a different opinion.

He felt that he would be clashing with Hugo quite a lot in the future and decided to up his training intensity– especially for magic.

Most of his efforts went into defensive and support spells though, a clear indicator of his future development direction.

I’m not complaining here.

In fact, I’m very pleased he’s finally adjusted his mentality and began putting in actual effort instead of the play-dates disguised as training we did before.

Don’t get me wrong, the intensity of our training was great at first, but that’s only for our age at the time.

The problem is, we never increased its difficulty at all!

So there I was, a renowned adventurer whose level has long passed 50, playing around with two level 1 children in the name of ‘training’.

You can imagine my frustration at the time.

I was so happy for his sudden motivation and lust for strength that I even went as far as to reveal a bit of my hidden strength while training with him!

It was just a tiny bit though– only to help him catch up on all of the lost time and boost his sense of crisis to a normal level.

Like him, I also believe Hugo’s troubles are far from over.

But Hugo himself seems to be oddly afraid of me… or is it just my imagination?

……No, he definitely is.

And it’s an instinctual terror at that, like a prey fears a predator.

The problem is, I don’t recall ever conflicting with him except for that one time, so the reason why he’s scared is a total mystery until now.

It doesn’t affect me though anyways, so I usually don’t pay it much attention.

If there’s anything that has actually had me paying attention, it has to be that one conversation I had with Shun a while after that magic lesson incident.

Dude just asked me to promise him not to change out of fucking nowhere.

Like-What the heck does that even mean?!

Although it might seem unbelievable, does he still see me as the same ol’ Ooshima from back in Japan?!

That’s totally impossible, right?!

It should be.

Not to mention my increasingly feminine temperament, just my total disregard for life in our practical combat lessons should be enough to recognize that I’ve already changed a long time ago.

That comment really irritated me at that time, but I quickly realized that it’s actually not that bad.

Him finally beginning to realize many things around him have changed in some way or another means he’s starting to break out of his cocoon.

To say I was happy with this discovery would be an understatement.

I had always been worried about Shun’s desperate struggle to adapt to this world.

I was especially anxious he would develop a mental disorder due to the drastic and sudden change in lifestyle.

But while he’s certainly struggling to hold himself together, I thankfully never saw any signs of him breaking apart.

For how naïve he usually acts, Shun has always been a very tough guy on the inside.

Him holding on to the beliefs he had back in Japan for more than ten years is a testament to my words.

So despite seemingly being the most ordinary person in class, he’s arguably the only person who’s got what it needs to be a true savior.

Wait a sec— if Shun ever becomes the Hero, doesn’t that mean Yuri is gonna be his Saint?

If so, then what would my role in the Hero’s party be?

The sage, perhaps? Or do I even have a role in the first place?

Hmmm, food for the brain.

Sue’s still sticking to Shun like she always does.

Wherever you find him, you’re almost always guaranteed to find her!

Except for night time, of course.

That’s only because the academy has separate dormitory buildings for males and females though, otherwise she might go as far as to sleep with Shun!

On that note, she’s also a regular participant of my and Shun’s harsh training regime.

Props to her for keeping up no matter how intense it gets.

Never would’ve expected that brother-cons could go this far for their beloved Oni-samas!

The more you know, huh?

Finally, there’s Yuri.

She has been goin’ around, acting like a complete lunatic in public.

Despite being a reincarnation from a modern society, she is almost always preaching the Word of God religion to everyone, at every chance, and in a very disturbing way.

Let’s level our skills so that we can listen to the voice of god together!

If someone is declared a sinner by god, they need to be killed! If you ever see anyone with the taboo skill, you should tell me right away!

Blah blah blah blah yada yada yada yada.

It was honestly annoying as fuck.

I mean, I would understand it if that voice belongs to whatever god was responsible for our reincarnation into this world.

He or she would’ve literally saved our lives, after all.

But there’s really no evidence they were the one to do it, y’know?

What if it’s a different god that’s responsible for it? What if our reincarnation was nothing but a freak incident that came about due to sheer luck?

There are so many what ifs, and no concrete answer.

So the reason for Yuri’s eerie fanaticism eludes me entirely.

But here’s the plot twist.

Yuri’s is only acting– this isn’t what she’s really like

And she’s overwhelmingly good at what she’s doing.

Except for me and Fei, nobody doubts her.

Truth be told, even Fei and I believed it … until we had the luck of happening upon her acting normally once and recorded it with a memory orb.

Such happy little coincidences are what makes our lives beautiful, am I right?

….Yes, it was definitely a coincidence.

It’s not like we stalked her for two weeks straight in order to catch red-handed or anything like that.

Pshhh. Who would be so boring?

Even if her continuous preaching nearly drove us crazy, there’s no way we’d do that, y’know?

Heh.

Hehe. 

Hehehehehehe.

Ahh, you can ignore that.

That was just my inner devil laughing at a dirty joke I remembered from long ago.

Cough–

Leaving that behind, I didn’t ask her for much – just a genuine request for her to stop preaching when I’m nearby.

And thank god she agreed!

Not that she really had any choice in the matter.

I was this close to physically making my request, and this happy little coincidence was the only reason she was spared of that.

Chuckling at that thought, I opened my eyes and actively stretched my body.

“That felt great. I should make a habit out of it.” I mumbled, letting out a relaxed sigh.

It appears I’ve let myself relax for way longer than I should however.

According to my steampunk-ish magical clock, I only have thirty minutes left to prepare myself and arrive at the agreed gathering place.

And trust me when I say this, thirty minutes is nowhere near enough for a lady to prepare herself!

Tch. Guys really have it easy.

….Hmmm.

Since when was I able to say that naturally?

Now that I think about it, I can also shower and change clothes in the girl’s locker room without reacting to the other girl’s bodies.

Well, it doesn't really matter.

I had stopped thinking about my previous life as a man until Yuri reminded me of that some time ago.

But she apparently doesn't mind my presence in the women’s exclusive areas.

In fact, Fei and Filimos don’t seem to mind it either.

They seem to consider me to be ‘one of them’ if you know what I mean.

I seem to have thoroughly integrated into this world and fully accepted my identity at some point.

Having three female childhood friends does have its benefits, huh? –Even if this kind of benefit is too far-fetched to even consider.

“It’s not everyday that your entire class gets reincarnated in another world and you get turned into a woman, after all.” I scoffed under my breath as I put on my school uniform.

I would choose good ol’ boring Japan over this backwards, monster infested planet any time of the day.

Those were my last thoughts before I locked the door to my room and left.

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