Solo For Two

“Are you traveling? Hm….”

With a puzzled expression, the doctor, with his white beard, looked down at Sasha, the man lying on the bed. Each time he breathed shallowly, there was a strange wheezing sound as if the wind was escaping. Despite appearing peacefully asleep at first glance, whenever Karel heard that abnormal breathing, his heart sank.

“Until yesterday, there were no issues with his movements. He ate, drank, and even engaged in conversations with full consciousness… So, I thought even in this condition, we could travel without any problems.”

Julian rolled his eyes and replied to the doctor instead of Karel. He couldn’t know what had happened after he left since Karel didn’t speak. ‘He wouldn’t have turned out like this if he hadn’t been forced.’ Surely not, Julian corrected his thought. No matter how clumsy Karel was, he wouldn’t have behaved like that. Moreover, considering his guilty expression and his handling of the man as if he were a goat, it didn’t seem like Karel had forcibly confined them alone in the room.

“Anyway, according to the doctor, the ribs would naturally heal without any special treatment unless subjected to significant impact. So, all they could do was be careful with movements, along with the advice to postpone the schedule for a week for the patient’s sake.”

“If you must travel, why not postpone the itinerary for a week for the patient’s sake? A week of complete rest will surely improve his condition.”

“A week…,” Julian nodded his head. He had already thought that immediate travel would be difficult. The doctor asked again.

“Excuse me, but what will be the next destination after this?”

“We’re going to Côte d’Azur. We have a villa there.”

“Much better.” The doctor nodded lightly. “Besides visible wounds or trauma, his basic stamina is greatly depleted. He needs care. Regardless of how long the journey may be, if it’s rough, recovery will be slow. It would be good for him to rest deeply at the villa.”

The two young men in front of him seemed to be from the upper class as expected. Côte d’Azur was a place where signs of wealth were abundant, especially with the construction of villas. Even in winter, the climate was mild, making it a good environment for patients. The doctor was satisfied.

“When you travel by carriage, cushion it with several cushions to minimize shaking, and avoid crowded places if possible. There’s a high chance of bumping into crowds. And for the time being, I’ll provide painkillers. Give them to the patient after dinner, before bedtime.”

“Analgesics? Is the pain really that severe?” Karel, who had been quietly listening to the doctor’s words all this time, inquired as if probing.

“Oh, well, if you continue to experience pain in a weakened state, it will be difficult to endure. And for about ten days, it would be better to substitute meals with easily digestible soups or juices,” the doctor hastily added. “Rest assured. It seems that your constitution isn’t originally weak, so the bones will heal quickly.”

Among the words he heard, this was the most hopeful. Julian left the room to escort the doctor, leaving Karel and Sasha alone in the empty room. Karel approached Sasha slowly. Even though Sasha might open his eyes and be startled when he saw himself, Karel stood at a distance where Sasha’s gaze wouldn’t reach.

Sasha’s closed eyelashes were long. Karel carefully brushed Sasha’s hair aside. He had thought everything would resolve itself once they met again, but reality was different from Karel’s expectations.

It was apparent that Sasha was afraid of him. Unlike the calm conversations with Julian, when Karel got closer, Sasha’s breathing quickened, and he recoiled when Karel’s hand almost touched him. Therefore, Karel was anxious.

I want to see those eyes.

I want to have a calm conversation while making eye contact.

If possible, I’d like to smile reassuringly with relieved eyes.

For a moment, Karel’s chest tightened painfully. He didn’t know what to do. Perhaps experiencing something harrowing in Paris had made Sasha wary. Karel suppressed his regretful feelings with that thought. He only resented himself for leaving Sasha alone in harsh conditions.

The filthy brothel where he rescued him came to mind again. He tried not to dwell on what treatment Sasha received there, finding it too painful to imagine.

For two days, Karel didn’t reveal himself to Sasha.

During the day, he stayed in Julian’s room and only returned to his own when Sasha fell asleep. It was a mix of not wanting to startle Sasha and not wanting to see Sasha’s guarded demeanor.

For two days straight, Karel secretly entered the bedroom only after Sasha fell asleep, gently wiped his body with a towel, and carefully changed his clothes. Then he brought a chair next to the bed and stared at Sasha’s face for a long time.

It hadn’t been long since they met, but the round line on the forehead, the small chin, and the curve drawn by the gracefully closed eyes felt very familiar.

And on the third day.

As usual, when Karel, who had been guarding Sasha’s side for a long time, left the bedroom, Julian was sitting crookedly in the living room, waiting for Karel.

“Why are you sitting like that?”

“Like what?”

Karel threw the towel he had brought into the laundry basket and stretched out on the makeshift bed in the living room, ready to sleep.

In the hotel room with a separate bedroom, Karel gave the bedroom to Sasha and stayed in the living room, setting up an extra bed for himself.

“You’re constantly doting on him.”

“It’s something I like to do.”

“But Sasha doesn’t seem to notice at all. Even if he’s asleep… there’s a limit to being oblivious.”

Julian was bewildered watching Karel lavish attention with no response. There was a time when he quietly opened the door to peek and saw Karel fanning the sleeping Sasha, leaving her speechless and leaving the room as is.

Julian thought Karel needed to be more aware of his position.

“Do you know who’s responsible for him being able to rest comfortably and receive treatment in a hotel like this?”

“Hmm… Franz Ludwig, perhaps?”

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

“Then should we call it Franz Ludwig’s sponsorship for the travel fund?”

Perplexed by Karel’s words, Julian’s mouth gaped open, soon noticing that Karel was faintly smiling playfully.

“Well… forget it. Anyway, what I mean is, you don’t have to behave so cautiously.”

“Got it.”

But using that as an excuse to treat Sasha however he pleased was no different from saying, ‘I bought this item, so I’ll do as I please.’

Karel disliked acting in ways that Sasha might not want. And perhaps the reason for that is…

“I think I want to win that person’s heart.”

“What?”

Julian was astonished at Karel’s words, spoken as if dreaming while looking at the ceiling.

“You really fell hard, didn’t you?”

“…”

“Well, if that’s the case, shouldn’t you show it more clearly? Sasha is making efforts to win your heart without even knowing it.”

Julian’s words were not wrong, so Karel buried his face in the pillow.

“And, Sasha asked about you today. Wondering where you went.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He seemed bored eating alone… and seemed to stare at me as if to say not to leave him alone, so we sat together and chatted about this and that. Think about it. How boring it must be lying in bed all day with no one to talk to? Oh right, today he kept staring at the flowers you gave him and couldn’t take his eyes off them all day.”

“Really?”

“Being a patient is incredibly tiresome. Something you wouldn’t even look at before becomes precious, right? I know the feeling.”

Julian had also been bedridden for about three months due to a hip injury from a fall. Remembering how annoying he had been during that time, Karel vaguely guessed Sasha’s feelings.

Karel touched his ear elegantly and asked, “Does Sasha like flowers?”

“Well, it seems so.”

“I wish I could give them to him myself…”

“Yeah, so keep giving him attention.”

“Got it.”

“Goodness… I never thought my brother would be so foolish. Remember how quickly Lady Lan Bu fell for you within a few days? Believe in your own charm.”

At Julian’s words, Karel shook with laughter and flipped the blanket over.

The incident with Rambouillet was a coincidence. He couldn’t bring himself to deliberately seduce someone.

Moreover, Sasha was not a woman. Unlike himself, who had always liked men, Sasha would probably like beautiful women like any ordinary man… As Karel recalled this fact, his confidence plummeted.

While Julian added unnecessary advice under the guise of love advice, Karel plugged his ears and fell asleep.

***

The next day, Karel woke up early and went to the city center to buy expensive bouquets of flowers and chocolates. He remembered that Sasha liked sweets.

“Is it for a gift?”

“Yes, it’s a gift.”

“What kind of lady is the recipient?”

At the clerk’s words, Karel thought of Sasha, who was lying on the bed as if dead.

“Pretty, with a quiet personality…”

As he pictured Sasha’s face in his mind, Karel closed his mouth. The clerk was laughing as he looked at Karel, whose face was turning red. Feeling like he had already revealed everything, Karel regretted even opening his mouth.

At the upscale pastry shop, they wrapped it up with a fancy ribbon, calling it a gift. The packaging looked like it was advertising, “I want to win your favor.” Eventually, before even reaching the hotel, Karel removed all the delicate packaging inside the carriage.

Even after arriving at the hotel, Karel hesitated for a long time.

In the end, he opened the door with only the chocolates, leaving the flowers behind.

“…Hello?”

It was Sasha who greeted first.

And upon hearing that unexpected voice, Karel stood still at the doorway.

It seemed Julian had taught him the greeting. The pronunciation was awkward, almost ridiculously cute.

Thinking he wanted to hear that cute greeting one more time, Karel stood still for a moment, looking at Sasha with his mouth momentarily sealed. The natural light coming in from the window with a good view illuminated his glossy hair and eyelashes. Sasha’s eyes still held a guarded look, but he didn’t seem as startled or wary as before.

Karel slowly approached Sasha. “Long time no see.”

“Long time no see,” Sasha awkwardly echoed Karel’s words. With an incredulous feeling, Karel pulled up a chair and sat in front of Sasha. Sasha’s light brown eyes, filled with radiance, briefly met Karel’s before averting.

Sasha, while touching the vase of flowers by the window, looked at Karel. “It’s you.”

Sasha seemed to know that Karel had brought the flowers. Expressing silent gratitude to Julian, who must have conveyed the fact, Karel nodded. Although he felt awkward earlier for leaving the flowers outside the bedroom, he still thought bringing them was the right decision. He wanted to see Sasha’s happy face when he handed him the flowers in person.

Then Sasha pointed to Karel’s lap with his finger and said something in Russian. Karel stupidly looked down at his hand. It was only then that he realized he still held the chocolates.

“Do you want to try some?” Sasha couldn’t take his eyes off the chocolates. Consequently, Karel’s hands trembled slightly as he unwrapped them. He picked up a small piece of chocolate and offered it to Sasha.

At that moment, Sasha, who seemed to expect to eat it with his hands, opened his mouth slightly. Karel, holding his breath, fed him the chocolate. As the small piece of chocolate passed over his tongue and touched his thick lips, Karel was engulfed in a sensation of warmth spreading from his fingertips to his whole body.

One piece, two pieces. Karel silently fed Sasha chocolates. As he fed him the third piece, Sasha extended his tongue to lick the slightly melted chocolate from Karel’s hand.

When their eyes met again, Karel couldn’t help but withdraw his hand from Sasha’s lips first, feeling tense. Sasha just stared at Karel with eyes full of curiosity. Seeing those innocent eyes, Karel briefly felt like a villain, wondering if Sasha had misunderstood his intentions and thought he had some ulterior motive for seducing him.

“I’m sorry… Wait a moment.”

Karel stepped out of the bedroom and closed the door, taking a deep breath. Along with the overwhelming excitement, an irresistible desire surged within him. The sensation of the soft tongue lingered on his fingertips.

To cool down, Karel paced outside the bedroom for a moment. Then, holding the bouquet of flowers, he returned to the room. Sasha, who was rummaging through the chocolates, faintly smiled upon seeing the flowers in Karel’s hands.

Karel lost himself in that smile. Sasha’s face, even as he slept without expression, was beautiful, but when he smiled, it was even more so.

Sasha seemed pleased with the flowers, as he tried to sit up completely on the carpet. Seeing his expression slightly distorted by pain, Karel hurriedly approached and gently supported Sasha. Feeling Sasha nestled in his arms, Karel, who was dazed, realized that Sasha was waiting for him to give him the flowers. Even that brief moment of waiting felt endearing to him.

“I bought flowers that resemble you,” Karel said, relieved that Sasha couldn’t understand him. The flowers that had caught Karel’s eye in the upscale boutiques lining the shopping street were white daisies. Delicate, small white faces gathered in clusters, and the slender green stems trembled even in the slightest breeze. It reminded him of Sasha.

‘They are flowers that wilt even in raindrops, so be careful when carrying them.’

The flower shop attendant, adding a few green hydrangeas and barley to the flowers Karel chose, made a convincing bouquet and said so. The bouquet was quite expensive, perhaps because it looked like wildflowers. However, seeing Sasha so pleased with the flowers made it feel totally worth it.

Sasha carefully examined the flowers, gently touching the petals with his fingers. As Sasha buried his nose in the flowers and smelled their fragrance, Karel couldn’t resist and kissed his closed eyelids. His heart pounded wildly.

If he hadn’t restrained himself, he would have kissed his lips. Even kissing Sasha in a place that could be interpreted as a sign of affection made Karel regret it. He thought he had gone too far, even with this display of affection.

Now trembling with his hands, Karel wrapped his arms around Sasha’s waist again and gently guided him back to the bed. As he tried to sit him down, Sasha shook his head.

“Why?”

“Outside, outside…”

Karel understood Sasha’s words. It seemed like he wanted to go outside.

“No, you can’t. You need to rest,” Karel said a little more firmly, causing the expression on Sasha’s face to disappear and a bewildered look to come over him. Karel regretted it immediately.

Sasha’s face, as he sat on the bed, turned into a familiar expressionless look towards Karel. Feeling anxious, Karel tightly held his hand. He wanted to listen to Sasha’s wishes, but for now, it was better to endure to allow him complete freedom to wander outside.

“We’re leaving for Southern France the day after tomorrow. We’ll be able to sightsee on the way, so just endure for two more days,” Karel said, extending Sasha’s hand and folding one, then two fingers. Sasha faintly smiled, seemingly understanding his words.

Karel wanted to kiss the lovely Sasha right away. But if he could gain his affection by being as careful as handling flowers that wither even in raindrops…

***

Karel went out and bought a dictionary. He wanted to understand what Sasha was thinking or saying.

While he was proficient in his native German, as well as in English and French, which were essential for the upper class, and also knew Slovak, his stepfather’s native language, and Latin, he was completely illiterate in Russian. Unlike Julian, who memorized foreign languages as they came, Karel preferred taking care of the estate’s young animals whenever he had spare time.

He regretted not learning Russian before.

When Julian saw the dictionary Karel brought, he commented, “Sasha will learn to speak faster than you can study.”

“Is that so?”

“You can hear the language everywhere. If he listens every day, won’t his ears open up faster?”

As Julian said, Sasha was already able to communicate in simple words like ‘water,’ ‘pain,’ and ‘full.’ He seemed quite eager to learn, as he was pleased when Karel gave him the dictionary, and quickly memorized currency units and numbers from coins collected during their travels.

With the dictionary in hand, the two of them could engage in much more conversation than before. Karel realized that Sasha was not as worldly as he had thought. Unlike Karel, who had received higher education and had the opportunity to travel extensively, Sasha was nothing more than a poor peasant from Russia, which created a significant gap in their knowledge. Sasha didn’t even know where Paris was on the map.

So, Karel asked the hotel for a globe.

“Sasha, it’s me,” Karel said.

As Karel pushed the door open, Sasha looked up and set down what he was eating. There were only crumbs of brownie left on the plate. Karel approached with a secret smile.

“Did you enjoy the brownie?” Karel asked with such a tender look that Sasha felt a bit flustered. Not realizing there were crumbs of black bread on his lips made it even more embarrassing.

Karel wanted to wipe Sasha’s lips himself, but knowing Sasha would startle every time he touched him, he held up a hand mirror instead for Sasha to see his own face.

Sasha’s ears turned red as he saw his reflection. Karel tried not to laugh as he watched Sasha roughly wipe his mouth with the white sleeve. But when he saw Sasha’s lips redder than before against the fabric, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Do you like sweets?” Karel asked, deliberately looking away. Sasha understood Karel’s question after a moment and quietly nodded. It was an unbelievable answer.

After using the dictionary to elaborate on short information, Karel finally understood Sasha’s words. Sasha said he didn’t even know if he liked sweets or not. In the countryside village where sugar was as precious as gold, it was difficult to even find cheap snacks. So Sasha explained that he used to suck on the nectar of flowers instead of having cookies when he was young, which made Karel’s expression more serious.

“So, you try them out of curiosity, not because you like them?” Karel asked. Sasha nodded vigorously, like a child who, despite saying he didn’t want more candy after sucking on it until his tongue changed color, actually wanted more. Seeing Karel smile, Sasha cautiously made eye contact. It was a look of curiosity about why Karel was smiling.

Whenever Sasha looked at him with such curiosity, Karel found him so adorable that he had to resist the urge to hug him tightly and kiss his lips every time.

Regaining his composure, Karel spread out a map beside Sasha.

“You know we were traveling with Julian? Our journey starts here, in Vienna, the capital of the Austro-Hungarian Empire…”

Sasha’s eyes followed Karel’s fingertips. Sasha’s expression seemed both focused and perplexed. “Is this possibly the first time he’s seen a world map?” Karel felt the need to explain more in detail.

Karel went on to point out Paris, where they were currently staying, and then Vienna, where Karel had departed from. After describing London, where Julian currently had enemies, Karel shifted his finger back to Russia.

“Here, this is the Russian Empire. And here is…”

“St. Petersburg,” Sasha answered instead of Karel. Karel nodded and continued, “I heard St. Petersburg is a relatively advanced city. Other cities in Russia… are quite grim. Where is your hometown?”

Sasha gestured to a place far away from St. Petersburg, somewhere not even marked on the map due to its small size.

Karel paused for a moment. Sasha, like many other impoverished Russian villagers, must have grown up in a poor countryside village. Perhaps being a dancer was Sasha’s only way out.

Suddenly, Karel wanted to know why Sasha had fled St. Petersburg. But Julian had already told him. Sasha seemed to be deliberately hiding his backstory, probably because it was a dangerous secret to reveal, or because he still didn’t trust them… It could be either of the two reasons.

Karel promised himself not to ask about Sasha’s past until Sasha decided to talk about it himself.

“My hometown is here. Vienna is quite welcoming even to outsiders.”

Karel didn’t expect Sasha to fully understand or comprehend his words. He just liked Sasha’s attentive expression when he spoke.

“Austria isn’t as class-bound as Russia… The Ludwig family may not have a title, but they are quite respected. The upper class is especially frantic to form connections with the Ludwigs. In households with daughters, Julian is considered for marriage proposals at least once.”

Sasha struggled to imagine a country without a class system, perhaps due to not fully understanding Karel’s story or because of his upbringing. The existence of a middle class between the poor and the nobility was also difficult for him to grasp.

Karel explained it as the difference between “whether a person like me can exist or not.”

“It would be nice if we could go to Vienna together.”

Karel cautiously suggested. He wanted to return to his hometown with Sasha after this journey was over.