Solo For Two

Of course, Karel believed that it would eventually happen, but he had heard from Julian that Sasha wanted to find a job in Paris. Perhaps the fortunate thing was that Sasha’s wish was highly unlikely to come true…

Anyway, Karel planned to convince Sasha sufficiently by then.

Suddenly, he missed the scenery around the Ludwig mansion in beautiful Vienna and the serene countryside. The small grapevine fields, lavender farms, and endless sunflower fields changed colors seasonally. Karel wanted to show Sasha that landscape someday.

And how wonderful it would be if they could build and live in a house just for the two of them, away from the prying eyes. In spring and summer, they could spend their days reading books or fishing by the nearby lake, slowly strolling along the beautiful chestnut tree path in autumn, and enjoying cozy dinners by the fireplace at home every evening in winter…

In that moment, Karel realized that the future he had longed for was exactly this: everyday life spent with the person he loved.

Julian often lectured Karel to learn more and to aim for greater things or to have ambitions. If he showed determination, the Ludwig family would generously support Karel’s success. The life of becoming a scholar by pursuing a degree and continuing to study, or studying accounting or finance to help the Ludwig family’s business, seemed easily imaginable.

But Karel didn’t want to live like that.

The moment one lives in the upper class, escaping marriage or having offspring becomes impossible. Karel didn’t want to live by deceiving some poor woman who would become his partner.

Sasha looked at Karel with silent eyes. Feeling that gaze, Karel felt a deep stirring in his chest.

“I want to live with Sasha.”

A strange conjecture crossed Karel’s mind, wondering if he had lived his life to meet this person. It was a conviction so intense that it felt impossible to deny.

But in front of Sasha, all Karel could manage were feeble attempts at speech.

“I… I mean, you… You…”

Karel hesitated several times before speaking. He didn’t want to miss out on Sasha, who had awakened love in him. It was the only thing he was sure of, so why was it so difficult to say? Sasha still looked into Karel’s eyes, seemingly waiting for his next words.

“Will you come with me?”

Karel asked with difficulty. Sasha just looked at Karel in silence. “It’s your turn to answer…”

Karel smiled bitterly.

With care, Karel reached out and gently touched Sasha’s hair. The thin, soft strands scattered between his fingers. It was the first time Karel had touched Sasha’s hair while awake, so he was a little nervous, but Sasha showed no sign of wanting to pull away from his touch.

Karel lowered the hand that was touching the hair and gently cupped Sasha’s cheek. Sasha had a small chin, so Karel’s large hand easily covered from the cheek to behind the ear in one go.

“Together?”

Karel said again, almost choking on his voice. It was hard to look away from Sasha’s lips. Karel slowly leaned in.

But just before their lips touched, Karel barely stopped.

He suddenly thought that he shouldn’t do this without consent.

“But… why isn’t he pushing me away?”

Karel closed his eyes and regulated his breathing. He could feel Sasha’s breath at a very close distance, and it was slightly erratic. Karel turned his head slightly, as if brushing against his nostrils with Sasha’s tip of the nose. Disappointed, he shook his head. Instead of kissing, he hugged Sasha gently. As he cautiously held Sasha’s back, his heart pounded frighteningly.

Would Sasha have accepted if he had just kissed him? Perhaps, given Sasha’s personality, he wouldn’t have resisted properly. But soon, Karel bit his tongue. What was he doing to a patient who couldn’t even resist with his own strength…?

It was a while later when Karel released Sasha from his embrace. Sasha held Karel’s hand as he tried to move away.

“…?”

As Karel turned back, Sasha approached and kissed him briefly.

It felt more like an expression of animal affection than a kiss. Sasha’s moist lips briefly touched Karel’s dry ones, leaving an indelible impression. Karel regained his senses and tightly held Sasha’s hand.

Karel held Sasha’s hand and kissed each groove on the smooth back of it one by one. And Sasha, instead of answering, just observed Karel kissing reverently on the back of his hand.

***

The day they decided to leave Paris was busy from morning with the butlers bustling around, packing up the room. Various packaged food items suitable for the patient’s consumption, securely capped juices, and assorted fruits and chocolates were neatly stacked next to the luggage.

Amidst all this hustle and bustle, Sasha lying down felt uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do.

“Do you need anything? You’re lying in bed. I’ll bring it to you.”

Sasha kept trying to get up or come out of the bedroom to help with packing, so Karel gently patted his back and sent him back to the bedroom.

“I’ll call you right before we leave. Just wait until then.”

Karel seemed to think that Sasha was eagerly waiting for their outing after a long time. Sasha, who was not originally shameless, and had no immunity to receiving, obediently let Karel lead him back to bed. Then he took a deep breath. He still hadn’t fully adapted to the touch that treated him like a fragile glass ornament.

“What does he see when he looks at me?”

Lying down, Sasha raised his hand and looked at the back of it with indifferent eyes. The bony knuckles belonged to a definite man’s hand. The arm under the hand was not particularly slender either. Despite not being able to move properly for a couple of months, the muscles that had settled long and shapely all over his body still remained. Perhaps from losing weight during the escape, the contours of his body were even more pronounced under the dry skin.

As a habit, Sasha relaxed his shoulders and stretched his arm out into the air, from Aungoe to Allascon, drawing a momentary elegant trajectory with his fingertips, which then fell onto the bed with a thud.

“He bought it because it resembled me….”

The flowers decorating the windowsill shook their petals even with a slight breeze. It was a flower that would sway and droop its stem if touched even slightly harder, unable to raise its head again. It was too delicate compared to a physically healthy man, but Sasha couldn’t deny that he had received and endured all sorts of pitiful sights after meeting Karel.

And perhaps it was fortunate to have garnered such sympathy.

Over the past few days, Sasha had been reflecting on his actions. Despite being prepared, his actions had a clear purpose. As soon as he recalled, he couldn’t help but feel ashamed.

“I wonder if it would have been less embarrassing if I were a girl.”

After Karel disappeared from Sasha’s sight for three days following the first time he lost consciousness in front of Karel, Sasha was secretly greatly perplexed. He didn’t know there would be no opportunity to win his favor at all.

Furthermore, when left alone, Sasha often fell into a daze all day long, sinking into all sorts of pessimistic thoughts. He trembled with anxiety at the thought that he might never see Karel’s face again and might be driven away, even though he thought there was still a grace period.

He definitely didn’t want to be abandoned. And he didn’t want to sleep on the dirty streets or shiver in the cold again.

The saying that humans are creatures of adaptation seemed to be true, as Sasha’s body quickly adapted even though he had never spent time in such a luxurious bedroom before. Sasha was amazed that just a week ago, he had endured terrible conditions.

Impatience plagued Sasha. When Julian, who at least showed his face in the morning and evening, came in, Sasha couldn’t help but ask.

“Um… Are you busy?”

“Who? Oh, Karel, you mean?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm… No, not at all. Why?”

Julian’s response, with a twinkle in his eye as he smiled, seemed oddly cheerful. Unconsciously, Sasha clenched the bedsheet upon hearing that Karel wasn’t busy at all.

At that moment, a butler brought in a bouquet of vibrant flowers and placed them in a vase at Julian’s direction. It was near the window where Sasha could easily see it.

As Sasha stared at the flowers, Julian said, “Karel bought those flowers. He would appreciate it if you thanked him.”

“When… How should I express my gratitude?”

“Thank-you notes are easy enough.”

“In fact, I haven’t seen him since the first day.”

With Sasha’s words, Julian made a strange expression and left the room.

And the next day, Sasha was finally able to meet Karel.

Thinking he did well to muster up the courage to speak to Julian, Sasha was initially quite frightened because Karel’s expression was quite stern. It worried Sasha whether saying Karel wasn’t busy was just an upper-class way of speaking, and he feared he might have annoyed him by pestering him to meet a busy person.

However, when they faced each other, Sasha’s worries eased slightly. This was because Karel’s curiosity and desire mixed in his eyes remained unchanged.

Once a sense of relief came over him, actually carrying out the resolved action wasn’t difficult. While he couldn’t be sure if his actions fell into the category of “temptation,” judging from Karel’s reaction, it seemed to have worked well. Sasha, who spent hours feeling as if he were being scrutinized by Karel, regretted that he hadn’t just held hands lightly.

Still, Sasha gained the conviction that he wouldn’t be abandoned for the time being after that day. Karel seemed to be the type who was at least generous and affectionate to someone he had given his heart to.

“I’m ready.”

Entering the bedroom himself, Karel’s face wore a smile that was somewhat forced. Sometimes when he smiled like that, he still seemed like a youthful youth. Karel quickly approached Sasha, who was sitting up, and after supporting him, he took out new clothes still wrapped in the box.

“I didn’t know the sizes well, so I estimated. But Julian has a good eye… so it shouldn’t be uncomfortable.”

As the vest and jacket Karel personally put on fit Sasha’s slender waistline quite well, Karel smiled with satisfaction. Then, he awkwardly placed his arm around Sasha’s shoulders, beneath which Sasha was fumbling with the sleeves of the luxurious suit.

“Oh, if you’re going to wear something so expensive, wouldn’t it be better to ride in a wheelchair?”

Julian, who was standing outside the room, remarked sarcastically upon seeing the two who had just appeared. Nevertheless, Julian smiled and exchanged eye contact with Sasha.

“We’re finally leaving here. My, it’s been so long that it almost feels like my hometown. It wouldn’t be a pity even if I never come back to Paris again for the rest of my life.”

“I agree.”

After tipping the butler, Julian left the room first. Then, the porters carrying the luggage followed suit. Just before completely leaving the empty room, Karel secretly kissed Sasha’s forehead. In response to Sasha’s daring display of affection, Karel replied with a brief smile before striding away.

＊ ＊ ＊

Unlike the bustling Paris station filled with noon-time vigor, the train carriage was very quiet. This was because Julian, who disliked crowds, had bought all the seats in one car.

Karel and Sasha didn’t have to share the compartment all the way to Côte d’Azur, but they still had to endure more than 8 hours together. This meant Julian wanted them isolated for that duration, judging from his observation of Karel and Sasha’s affectionate behavior.

Sitting closely next to Sasha, whose gaze was fixed outside the window, Karel held his hand throughout, gazing at him intently. Despite the sparse view of the dull fields with occasional cows, Sasha seemed absorbed in the scenery, perhaps deliberately avoiding Karel’s gaze.

Come to think of it, Sasha’s lips were noticeably swollen both above and below. It seemed almost as if they were slightly inflamed or perhaps…

“Did you sleep?”

When Julian deliberately asked casually, Karel was surprised and frowned.

“Don’t talk like that, I understand things now.”

“It’s fine. You haven’t caught up with the slang yet.”

“And I didn’t sleep.”

“What? When are you two going to sleep then?”

Having briefly diverted his gaze to the banter between Julian and Karel, Sasha turned back to the window when he met Julian’s eyes again.

“Aren’t you progressing too slowly? You didn’t set specific dates for each stage, did you? Once you have an estimated date, be sure to share it with me too. I’ll have to prepare for congratulations.”

Karel chuckled at Julian’s exaggerated banter.

“That would be nice, buddy. Côte d’Azur is famous for honeymoons… I’m alone…”

“Don’t be dramatic…”

Still, Karel, without hiding his smile, gently pulled Sasha’s hand, which he was holding, towards his lips and kissed the back of it. Then, he couldn’t take his eyes off Sasha’s cheek, which was still turned away, as if it was adorable.

Julian pretended not to notice, deliberately averting his gaze. While Karel might have felt like he had the whole world now, Julian, on the contrary, was feeling sour. It wasn’t just because of the affectionate gestures between the two. Unlike Karel, who was radiating the excitement of early romance throughout his body, Sasha showed no sign of such excitement at all.

Karel, being the opportunist he is, was clearly enjoying the slight room for interpretation now, firmly convinced that Sasha appreciated his advances, lost in his fantasies. Julian, on the other hand, had no intention of spoiling the satisfaction brought by such excitement, aware of the thrill it brought. However, Sasha’s excessive calmness bothered him.

“Do you plan to take my advice so literally?”

Julian had once bluntly told Sasha that his safety depended on Karel’s favor.

“I think gaining his interest grants you freedom.”

“Well, thank you.”

Though the response was almost resigned. While Sasha might not have grasped Julian’s intentions, he was a perceptive man. And he seemed to view this not as a matter of romance but survival.

In any case, Karel had acquired the sweetness of love as planned. But this lingering unease… Sasha had transformed Karel, who was as unyielding as a rock, into a teenage boy in puppy love. Julian hadn’t even imagined Karel would be so flustered in his first romance. While it was Julian’s scheme, seeing Sasha ‘conquer’ Karel made him doubt if that was truly the case.

“It’s not as ordinary as I thought. Did you intentionally seduce Karel?”

Karel was particularly well-endowed physically among men. Most men would feel emasculated just standing next to him. If Sasha had lived his life considering only women as potential romantic interests, he wouldn’t readily accept being treated as a cute pet by Karel.

But Sasha seemed to have made more ambitious preparations than Julian thought.

“Hmm, wasting time on such thoughts seems foolish.”

Julian made a sound of disdain, closing his book. Sasha looked up at the noise, meeting Julian’s gaze. There was a faint apprehension in Sasha’s uneasy eyes.

“If that’s an act, it’s quite impressive.”

In any case, Julian concluded that Sasha wasn’t the type to play with people’s hearts recklessly. That was evident from Sasha’s anxious attitude whenever they met Julian’s unsmiling face.

Suddenly, Julian became curious.

“Sasha, I have something I want to ask.”

As Julian spoke, both Sasha and Karel turned their gaze towards him.

“How old are you? If it’s not too intrusive of a question?”

“Twenty-four… No, twenty-six.”

Julian raised an eyebrow at Sasha’s response. It was completely unexpected, different from what he had presumed, perhaps thinking Sasha was in his teens.

“Did you know, Karel?”

“Know what?”

“Sasha is older than you.”

At that, Karel looked at Sasha, surprised. Seeing Sasha acting so immaturely, Karel also seemed to have mistaken Sasha for being younger.

“Actually, I’m twenty-six. I thought you were much younger.”

“Is that so? Actually, even back in my homeland, when I joined the ballet company, I lied about my age. They probably still think I’m nineteen there.”

“You lied?”

“I did.”

Sasha chuckled, his tone self-deprecating.

“Why did you lie about your age?”

“The ballet company is strict about age, they don’t admit anyone over a certain age.”

“Hmm… inflexible organization.”

Julian nodded. Sasha speaking his native language didn’t make his age any less baffling. His hesitant foreigner demeanor made him seem even more immature.

“How old is he?”

Pointing to Karel, Sasha asked, unable to hold back a laugh. Julian couldn’t help but chuckle. To him, Karel’s puzzled expression as he frowned, unable to understand what they were saying, made Karel appear to be his actual age, despite Julian himself having known him for a lifetime. Most people tended to perceive Karel’s surface as older than his actual age. His towering height, lack of facial expressions, and calm demeanor contributed to that impression. But referring to him as ‘this guy’…

“Karel is twenty-two.”

At Julian’s words, Sasha couldn’t help but look dumbfounded. Leaving the two silent gazers behind, Julian turned his head out the window, chuckling softly. The frivolous smile faded, and soon Julian was lost in contemplation.

Anyway, Sasha would never rebel against Karel. He wouldn’t even hurt him.

If Sasha is truly accepting this as a ‘deal,’ even better.

But a relationship where emotions aren’t properly exchanged can’t end well. Julian had thought that Karel would improve just by spending time with someone he liked. Any disease is better off being diagnosed and cured quickly. First loves are something everyone experiences… or so he thought.

But if his own actions only exacerbate that fever?

Shielding his eyes from the intense sunlight pouring through the window with a curtain, Julian let out a light sigh.

＊ ＊ ＊

The three of them arrived in Nice almost at midnight.

It was a moment when even Karel, who had been guarding their side with boredom as both Sasha and Julian dozed off, almost fell asleep, weary of the sight of the outside scenery lit by not a single light.

As the train slowly slowed down, entering the platform, the leisurely night scenery of the resort city began to pass by gradually outside the train.

When the train came to a slow stop at the platform, Karel nudged Sasha awake.

But Sasha couldn’t seem to shake himself fully awake. He seemed to open his eyes halfway, then lost his strength and slumped back.

“Sasha, can you get up?”

“Mmm….”

“Julian, what should we do? Sasha isn’t fully conscious at all.”

“What? Ah… Must be the painkillers.”

Julian also rubbed his eyes and slowly got up from his seat.

“Are painkillers this strong?”

“Mm….”

Julian pondered over his words, his body groggy. He knew that painkillers contained quite potent narcotic ingredients. But he had heard that there were some temporary side effects and it was equivalent to alcohol, so he didn’t think much of it… even if there were some signs of addiction.

Thinking Karel might nag if he found out, Julian decided to downplay it.

“Well… they also act as sleeping pills, right? Anyway, he really can’t seem to regain consciousness. Hey. Sasha, Sasha?”

“What should we do? Carry him?”

“Are you crazy? He injured his ribs. Even if we feel sorry for him, we can’t make him walk on his own.”