Solo For Two

Karel raised his hand to stop him, but Sasha seemed to misunderstand it as a request to pour more alcohol. He handed his glass to Karel and then poured himself another drink into an empty glass. Karel stared blankly at the glass Sasha handed him, then remembered where his lips had touched and put his lips on the same spot.

Without a word, Sasha and Karel each finished a drink. Karel, who usually talked endlessly, also kept his mouth shut, and a silence lingered between them. Sasha, with eyes glazed over perhaps from alcohol or sleepiness, stared intently at Karel. Karel thought that Sasha wanted to say something to him.

However, Sasha stood up without a word and lay down on the bed. He didn’t tell him to leave. Karel, feeling nervous for no reason, clenched and unclenched his fists, then drank another glass alone.

‘What does he think of me? He knows I like him. How can he sleep so calmly without fear? If he does this in front of others, it will be a big problem. I’m the only one who endures it….’

Before he knew it, Karel had emptied an entire bottle of alcohol by himself.

When Sasha looked at him blankly like he just did, he felt like he would forgive him no matter what he did. Sometimes, he even had the illusion that he was waiting for his touch.

Thinking he had gone mad, Karel gathered the bottle and dishes and stood up. Before leaving the room, he quietly said, “I’m going.”

Even then, for some reason, his steps wouldn’t move, and he looked back at Sasha from the doorway.

Sasha turned to face him.

Just as he thought that, Sasha patted the spot next to him on the bed, as if inviting him to sit.

Karel felt a lump in his throat as he put down the bottle and approached. Looking down at Sasha from above, he seemed defenseless.

Then Sasha muttered something in Russian. The rising tone at the end made it sound like a question, as if he was asking him something.

What did he say?

Sasha patted the spot next to him again. Following his indication, Karel sat down and began to comb Sasha’s soft, delicate hair with his hand. Despite his slightly rough touch, he showed no sign of displeasure.

Sasha patted the spot next to him for the third time. Karel swallowed dryly and asked, “Should I lie next to you?”

There was no response, but Karel slowly took off his vest and unbuttoned his collar and sleeves. Then he lay down beside Sasha. When he cradled his head and provided his arm as a pillow, Sasha willingly leaned his head against him.

“…Can I kiss you?”

After hesitating a bit, he kissed his forehead. He didn’t like it and pulled his head back a little.

Not forcing a kiss, Karel simply held Sasha’s head in his arms. He patted his back until he fell asleep and his breathing became slow and steady. Throughout the night, he wondered what it all meant. He wondered if he had managed to enter Sasha’s heart, even a little.

The moonlight outside was so bright that Karel couldn’t sleep at all.

＊ ＊ ＊

When Sasha asked this last night, Karel didn’t answer.

In truth, it was a question that didn’t need asking. Anyone could guess from his expression that he desperately wanted it and was barely controlling his desire.

Reaching out to Karel last night had been an adventure for Sasha, too. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t scared of allowing a man who could take him by force at any moment to get closer. Sasha had to choose actions that wouldn’t greatly upset him, that would keep his affection, and that would ensure his own safety.

If he gave too much, Karel would get tired of him, and if he gave too little, he would explode.

It was a difficult balance, but with Karel, it was easier. He couldn’t hide his expressions or desires in front of Sasha.

In any case, sharing a bed with him, though nerve-wracking, wasn’t as bad as he had thought. Except for when he was very young, he had never clung to someone and shared body warmth. The unfamiliar feeling of resting his head on Karel’s rock-hard arm soon gave way to comfort. Karel had a warm body temperature, and the thumping of his heart through his shirt felt soothing.

Occasionally, the touch of a hand stroking his hair or caressing his ear would make Sasha drowsy.

Is this what it feels like to be loved?

If so, have I truly captured this man’s heart? Sasha wondered to himself.

＊ ＊ ＊

When Sasha mentioned wanting to take a walk on the beach, Karel acted almost like Sasha’s personal attendant, choosing his outdoor clothes and personally driving the carriage to the beach. When Karel treated him with such devotion, Sasha often felt a strange emotion. Yet, he didn’t dislike the feeling of being attended to by a noble young man from the upper class.

Except for the brief stop Karel made at a liquor store to buy a few bottles, the walk was aimless. While walking on the beach, Sasha took off his shoes and stepped into the water. Observing starfish and coral, he picked up a few worthless pebbles as he often did.

Throughout the walk, Karel was even quieter than usual. Despite this, the feeling of being loved enveloped Sasha. He pondered deeply about where this feeling came from.

“Be careful.”

“Ah….”

Karel gently pulled Sasha’s arm. There was a piece of coral right where Sasha was about to step.

“Thank you.”

Sasha thanked him in a small voice. Karel let go of his arm, his face still expressionless.

Despite his lack of expression, it was proof that Karel was watching Sasha’s every step. Because of this feeling of being loved, Sasha was no longer as afraid of Karel as he had been initially.

Sasha knew all too well how nobles could easily exploit people with the promise of food and shelter. But Karel was not like that. Even with Julian, with whom he could communicate well, Sasha had never felt this level of trust.

He didn’t know when this certainty had grown.

In any case, Sasha thought Karel was far more honest and kind than the other nobles he knew. He didn’t find Karel’s silent following bothersome or uncomfortable.

However, Sasha wasn’t sure yet. He only thought that he could trust him.

When they returned to the villa, Sasha stopped at a familiar yet unfamiliar sight. The previously plain stone garden was now filled with a wide expanse of blue water.

Sasha soon realized it was a swimming pool.

“Shall I teach you how to swim?”

Before Karel could finish speaking, Sasha approached the pool and dipped his hand into the water. The sun-warmed surface felt pleasant.

There was a river near the village where he had lived as a child, but the current was strong, and even in midsummer, the water was as cold as ice, so he had never thought of swimming in it. But this place was different. The water temperature, slightly cooler than his body, felt good.

While Sasha was engrossed in the pool, Karel went with the servants to bring cold drinks and towels.

He chuckled as he saw Sasha barely dipping his hand in the water. Without hesitation, Karel undressed and dove into the pool in front of Sasha.

Sasha, drenched from head to toe, hadn’t had time to react. Water dripped from his hair, and he seemed too stunned to realize what had happened.

After a moment of blankness, Sasha regained his senses when he saw Karel laughing at him. He pressed his lips together and splashed water at Karel with his hands, but it wasn’t much of a threat to the already soaked Karel.

“Come in too!”

Karel laughed heartily for the first time in a while.

He had loved swimming in the sea since he was a child, often swimming until his hair was bleached by the salty water and sun. His healthy skin tanned easily. By the end of summer, Karel’s tanned appearance made the maids at the Ludwig estate eagerly await summer.

For the first time in a long while, Karel submerged himself in the water under the bright sun. It was a delightful feeling. He couldn’t help but laugh every time he recalled the expression on Sasha’s face, soaked from the splash.

“Aren’t you coming in?”

But as soon as he lifted his head above the water, he saw Sasha unbuttoning his wet clothes, and his laughter ceased.

Sasha threw off his shirt without hesitation and even unbuckled his pants. As Karel stood frozen, unable to believe he was watching the love of his life undress right before his eyes, Sasha’s pants fell to the ground, revealing his firm, slender legs.

Naked, Sasha unhesitatingly dove into the water next to Karel.

With a splash, water splattered onto Karel’s face. By the time Karel shook his head and managed to open his eyes, Sasha was already laughing happily. Under the bright sunlight, Sasha’s clear skin glowed, water droplets rolling down his wet skin.

As Sasha swept his wet hair back, the muscles in his neck and arms stood out clearly. Karel, rendered speechless, could only watch in silence.

“Right, now dip your head into the water. Just like that.”

Sasha floated easily. Perhaps he had some natural athletic ability, as he followed Karel’s instructions without difficulty. After teaching Sasha a bit about swimming, Karel got out of the water, threw a towel over his head, and gulped down a drink.

Still in the water, Sasha floated comfortably on the surface as if he had been swimming his whole life. The water lapped against his slightly raised chest muscles and nipples. Karel felt foolish for staring so intently, yet he couldn’t help but scrutinize Sasha’s body, not wanting to miss a moment.

Growing bored of floating, Sasha turned over and swam lightly. What Karel had thought was merely a slim back now displayed a web of well-defined muscles moving and vanishing with each stroke. Karel remembered that Sasha used to be a dancer.

Karel gripped his glass tightly.

Startled by the sudden noise, Sasha turned around. Karel had dropped his cocktail glass and was staring blankly at the ground. Sasha, thinking Karel had done something foolish, burst out laughing.

Karel threw his towel aside and jumped back into the water. As he approached Sasha, Sasha, thinking it was a game of tag, laughed and splashed Karel before swimming away. Karel, now determined, earnestly chased after Sasha.

Sasha had only learned to float that day. Catching and subduing him was a quick task for Karel.

Their wet bodies collided. As Karel forcefully pulled Sasha, causing him to lose his buoyancy and sink, he quickly lifted Sasha back to the surface. Sasha, gasping for breath, clung to Karel’s neck with a strong grip.

Karel embraced Sasha tightly and impulsively kissed him. Sasha, fearing Karel might pull him underwater again, wrapped his legs around Karel’s waist. Karel passionately sucked on Sasha’s lips, driven by the intense closeness.

Perhaps due to the recent scare of almost drowning, Sasha’s clinging felt like a sign of desire, and Karel quickly grew excited. He lifted Sasha onto the pool’s edge and positioned himself between Sasha’s slender thighs. The water droplets running down Sasha’s chest made Karel press his tongue against Sasha’s skin, feeling the excitement transfer from Sasha’s heaving breaths. Karel embraced Sasha’s slim waist and licked his flat stomach.

Sasha tensed, his legs tightening. The spot where Karel licked felt unbearably hot, and his nipples stood erect.

Despite Sasha’s hands clawing at Karel’s back, trying to push him away, Karel continued, pressing his lips against Sasha’s wet underwear. In a panic, Sasha grabbed Karel’s cheeks with both hands. Mistaking this for a desire for more kisses, Karel groaned softly and sucked on Sasha’s lips.

Sasha’s expression, silhouetted against the sun, was hard to read.

Even if it had been clear, Karel, clouded by desire, might not have understood Sasha’s true feelings.

It was when Karel slipped his hand inside Sasha’s wet clothes, sliding towards his buttocks.

Karel slowly raised his head, clutching his burning cheek. The unexpected blow stung sharply.

Pulled abruptly back to reality, Karel looked up at Sasha in confusion. Sasha, trembling and glaring at Karel as if to say he was mistaken about their mutual excitement, left Karel bewildered.

“Oh! I’m sorry….”

Karel, red to his ears, backed away from Sasha. Seeing Sasha tremble with fear in his eyes made Karel’s heart sink.

“I’m sorry.”

He felt mortified, wondering if he had misinterpreted Sasha’s actions.

“I’m really sorry.”

Being treated like a rapist by the one he loved, Karel felt a horrible sensation as his vision spun, and he took a step back.

Karel exited to the opposite side where Sasha sat and returned with a towel.

Standing a few steps away, he awkwardly handed the towel to Sasha. Under the bright sun, Sasha hung his head, huddling as if ashamed to show his naked body. The cheerful water play from just moments ago seemed like a lie.

What should he do?

There was only one answer: disappear from Sasha’s sight.

Feeling dizzy, Karel turned away silently.

＊ ＊ ＊

That evening, Sasha didn’t come down for dinner. Depressed, Karel locked himself in his room after eating. He didn’t know how to apologize.

He had held back, wanting to earn Sasha’s trust. He thought Sasha was finally opening up to him. But today’s incident made their relationship worse than if they were strangers.

As Karel was lost in regret, he heard a knock at the door. Hoping it might be Sasha, he jumped up, but it was Julian who appeared.

Ignoring Karel’s overtly disappointed expression, Julian spoke.

“I have a favor to ask, and I believe you’ll do it.”

Julian was waving something in front of Karel that he had seen before. Karel remembered it was an invitation to a dinner party by a carrot-obsessed noble.

“You want me to go instead?”

“How did you guess? My brother is a genius.”

“What am I supposed to do there?”

“Just pretend to be me.”

Karel was about to protest when Julian cut him off and added an explanation.

“It’s not just a favor. I’ll pay you back.”

Julian sighed deeply and slumped onto the sofa. Karel, still standing, didn’t look particularly friendly. Julian, feeling indignant about the sacrifice he was about to make, spoke up.

“It’s an invitation from the Rambouillet lady’s family. Not just any invitation, but a request for a three-day visit. It’s not actually a big deal since it’s nearby. The Rambouillet lady’s hometown is in Côte d’Azur.”

Karel remained silent.

“They’ve been looking for a company to handle mining operations in the French colonies, and it seems they proposed it to the Ludwig family.”

“Mining rights, huh.”

“Exactly… They asked my father to send me since I’m close by.”

Karel asked skeptically,

“…Are you sure the invitation is about business?”

“Absolutely. And it was the Rambouillet lady who recommended the Ludwig family.”

Julian observed Karel’s silent contemplation.

Julian cautiously voiced what Karel might have already suspected.

“Do you think they’re trying to set us up? No matter how much I search, I can’t find any noble named ‘Clements,’ so it seems like they’re baiting us. And our father took the bait.”

“…….”

“Of course, since the invitation is to the ‘Ludwig’ family, I’ll go alone this time.”

Karel covered his mouth, deep in thought. He and Julian were probably considering similar possibilities.

“Is there a chance that Lady Rambouillet is in Côte d’Azur?”

“It’s possible.”

“Will you be alright going alone?”

“What difference would it make if you came with me? Their intention to bait us is so obvious that your presence would only raise their expectations. You don’t want to be noticed either. I’ll go and play it cool.”

Karel understood. He now realized why Julian had spoken of ‘sacrifice.’ Though calling it a sacrifice was an overstatement. If this endeavor succeeded, the Ludwig family would secure enough wealth from the mining rights to live in luxury for generations.

Moreover, the idea that Karel might be the key was just speculation. Both men tried not to think too seriously about the potential developments.

“I genuinely wanted to try carrot dishes again after a long time… but unfortunately, Lord Picton has switched his hobby from growing carrots to growing roses. Besides, I can’t be in two places at once. So, you’ll have to go in my place.”

Considering Julian’s situation, where he had to visit the Rambouillet family, this proposal was the lesser of two evils. Karel nodded.

Then Julian suddenly asked, as if he had just remembered,

“By the way, why is Sasha holed up in his room? Did you two fight?”

Karel’s face darkened even more than when Julian had brought up the Rambouillet lady. Julian regretted asking as Karel, cautiously, responded.

“About Lord Picton’s estate… Can I bring Sasha along?”

＊ ＊ ＊

The next morning, Karel and Sasha, having seen Julian off early, left for Lord Picton’s estate together a little past noon. An awkward atmosphere lingered between them as they sat side by side in the carriage.

Karel felt sorry for Sasha, who was visibly tense. Sasha’s fear of being alone with Karel in a confined space was evident, and though Karel understood it was his fault, he couldn’t help but feel a bit resentful that Sasha was afraid of him.

Karel sighed. The sound made Sasha flinch involuntarily. Sasha was frightened, unable to discern Karel’s intentions in bringing him along.

After slapping Karel’s cheek, Sasha had spent the night consumed with anxiety, barely able to sleep. His awareness of his precarious situation heightened his fears. Even if Karel was generous, losing his favor would mean being thrown out onto the streets. Sasha couldn’t believe he had refused him. Just a few months ago, he had been punished for rejecting a duke.

He needed to make amends somehow. But the thought of Karel coldly dismissing his apology terrified him.

Last night, Sasha had even resolved to offer himself to Karel. Though he had intended to save his body as a last resort, the gravity of the situation made him reconsider. Yet, acting on that thought was equally difficult. The more he thought about it, the more scared he became. New fears he hadn’t considered before began to surface.

Sasha’s mind became increasingly muddled.

Since that incident, he hadn’t spoken a word to Karel. It dawned on Sasha that Karel had always been the one to initiate contact. Despite being in a position where he should be seeking affection and trying to please, he had only received it passively.

Sasha naturally recalled the incident at the swimming pool. Just imagining it made him feel a feverish heat. If he asked himself whether he disliked the act itself… the answer was no. However, Karel’s sudden and aggressive behavior had frightened him. Karel had nearly devoured him in a fit of passion.

In truth, Sasha had once wondered what it would be like to spend the night with Karel. The fact that they were both men didn’t bother him much. Karel’s warmth and gentle touch whenever he embraced him had always reassured Sasha.

Because of this, Sasha had been certain that Karel wouldn’t hurt or mistreat him. He imagined that in a dimly lit room, Karel would gently soothe him with tender touches.

But the reality of their first experience was far different from his fantasies.

Karel had tried to force him down in broad daylight, offering no time to adjust. He had forcibly submerged Sasha in the water, pulled him out, and handled him roughly, all while deeply aroused. The clammy, wet body heat was explicit, and Karel’s rough breathing felt unfamiliar. Worse, Sasha couldn’t push him away when Karel got excited.

Sasha lowered his head, feeling his neck heat up again.

In his teens, thinking about anything other than survival was a luxury. After joining the ballet company, the grueling training left him with no time for anything else. In Sasha’s life, romance and sexual desire had always been the lowest priorities.