Solo For Two

“I… was outside,” Sasha said, trying to recall words like ‘running’ and ‘climbing stairs.’ But with his limited vocabulary, he couldn’t accurately describe it.

“Why are you sweating like this? Are you hurt?” Karel approached quickly. Even from afar, the imposing figure of the man was intimidating up close. As Karel blocked the remaining morning light with his figure, Sasha’s vision darkened in an instant. Sasha felt the refreshing feeling of his recent exercise dissipate as he tried to remember what action of his might have upset Karel.

However, contrary to Sasha’s misunderstanding, Karel wasn’t angry, nor did he have any intention of scolding Sasha. He was merely surprised to find the bed empty when he came to see Sasha before he woke up, as he usually did. Karel had never imagined that Sasha would wake up earlier than him and, more surprisingly, for the purpose of exercising. So, Karel had been searching the villa thoroughly.

Sasha, thinking that Karel was about to scold him, tried to explain with trembling lips. “I’m not really hurt, you know?”

Seeing Sasha’s flushed cheeks, Karel thought he might have a fever. But as soon as he saw Sasha’s lips flushed and slightly moist with sweat, the whereabouts of Sasha’s wanderings and what he wanted to explain became unimportant.

Karel absentmindedly placed his hand on Sasha’s damp nape. “…!” Sasha’s vision momentarily darkened, and he let out a small cry as his forehead hit Karel’s collarbone.

It was sudden, but Sasha soon realized that Karel had simply pulled him into an embrace, and he felt relieved. Anyway, Sasha knew that Karel wasn’t angry and silently stayed in his embrace.

On the other hand, Karel was in a state of shock after impulsively pulling Sasha into an embrace. He couldn’t control his actions at all. The moment he thought, ‘I want to touch, I want to hug,’ he was already pulling Sasha into his arms.

‘I must be out of my mind. I didn’t even realize I had no self-control.’

But the regret was short-lived. The reward was sweet.

As their bare skin touched, moist with sweat, Sasha’s body was warm from the exercise’s residual heat, and his chest rose and fell faster than usual with breaths. With each soft touch of their chests, Karel swallowed a lump in his throat.

“In the morning… I woke up and didn’t see you, so I was surprised,” Karel said, exerting all his strength to leave a short kiss on Sasha’s forehead. And he tried to behave rationally. Sasha, just as usual, was looking up at him slightly, but Karel’s attention kept drifting to his slightly parted lips and the moist tongue inside.

“I usually wake up early too, but you’re even earlier. Did you exercise? What kind of exercise did you do?”

“Running… I ran….” Sasha awkwardly replied, finally recalling the verb ‘to run’ while avoiding eye contact. Watching Sasha’s wet tongue move, Karel swallowed dry saliva. Sasha’s efforts to explain something with poor vocabulary felt incredibly cute.

“…,” Karel didn’t say anything else, and Sasha, who had been quietly nestled the whole time, squirmed without saying a word. When Sasha finally wanted to escape, Karel surprisingly let go easily. Sasha glanced at Karel and then opened his door.

Karel followed into the room as a matter of course. Sasha hesitated for a moment, standing in the middle of the room.

‘What should I do…’

Just now, going up and down the stairs was just a warm-up to raise body temperature, and now Sasha planned to stretch as usual. But seeing Karel looking like he had something to say made Sasha nervous.

‘I’d rather be rude and have him resent me.’

Even Sasha, who had no experience in relationships, had never met an assertive woman, and had never thought he would be courted by the same man all his life, now felt that the relationship between the two of them was very difficult.

Not lovers, not even friends, but an ambiguous relationship.

Moreover, not long ago, Sasha learned from Yulian’s suggestive remarks that this room was originally assigned to Karel. After putting himself to bed in this room on the first day, Karel moved his belongings to the small guest room. Yulian jokingly said, ‘Are we not close enough to share the same bed?’ But Sasha knew it wasn’t a joke.

But Karel never acted on his own. Even now, he persistently restrained himself while looking at Sasha’s body covered in clothes.

And in the future, he wouldn’t force his desires onto himself. For some reason, he felt sure of that. ‘On the contrary, if my partner were Yulian instead of Karel, I’d probably have seen it all by now….’ Thinking about such a scenario gave Sasha goosebumps all over his back. The situation of being offered as a sacrifice on the bed to men, although he had prepared himself for it, was still difficult to accept.

Is Karel gentlemanly even in bed? Sasha brushed away his thoughts and focused on his body’s movements.

Stretching out his arms, soaking his shoulders, and stretching his thighs, familiar pain came each time. When he stretched his legs slowly to both sides, forming a near-perfect split, sweat formed again on Sasha’s neck. During his time as a patient, he had slowly released tension in his stiff muscles, regulating his breathing.

Deep-seated muscular soreness was felt, but Sasha enjoyed the feeling of pushing his limits. If he didn’t enjoy this sensation, he would have lost interest in dancing altogether. Sasha himself believed that dance was somewhat akin to self-torture, and he willingly accepted that.

After repeating several difficult movements, Sasha suddenly became aware of the eerily quiet room and turned to look at Karel. When their eyes met, Karel looked embarrassed, yet didn’t avoid Sasha’s gaze.

“Don’t overdo it,” Karel’s voice, pretending to be casual, trembled noticeably. The pupils, which had persistently followed Sasha’s every move, seemed to speak quite gentlemanly words.

Sasha turned his back to him as he spoke. He didn’t particularly dislike his gaze.

＊ ＊ ＊

The Château de Cordes, owned by the Ludwig family, was slightly different from other noble estates. Unlike other noble estates that enjoyed entertaining guests, the château, located high above the sea’s horizon, was built solely for relaxation.

Tall cypress trees and short orange trees surrounded the château, and in early summer, white hydrangeas bloomed between them. Sasha especially liked the orange trees that could be seen from anywhere in the château, seemingly moved by the fact that he could pick and eat the oranges himself. As luck would have it, in southern France, even in the depths of winter, the oranges hung on the trees, their branches bending under the weight.

Every morning, Karel would pick plenty of oranges for Sasha and leave them in a basket in his room. And in the afternoon, when he visited the room, he felt proud if the number of oranges had decreased. Sometimes, he would also pick flowers blooming around the château and bring them, dripping with dew, to Sasha’s room. The fresh flowers looked quite decent even when casually arranged in a vase.

Sometimes he would pluck flowers blooming around the château and bring them, dripping with dew, in his hands. Even when casually arranged in a vase, the fresh flowers looked quite decent.

But because he felt awkward giving flowers as gifts, Karel only filled the vase when he was sure Sasha’s room was empty. Karel enjoyed these simple gestures for Sasha.

Tall cypress trees swayed in the sea breeze. The leaves, reflecting light like fish scales, shimmered, and in the distance, the sound of waves and leaves colliding could be heard. Taking the peaceful sound as a lullaby, Sasha fell asleep under the midday sun.

After finishing lunch, Sasha always found a sunny spot and dozed off like a drowsy animal. Perhaps because he had come from a cold country, he seemed to prefer sunny spots.

Today, Sasha chose the patio, where the horizon was visible at a glance. Meanwhile, Karel sat under the shade of a tree, quietly watching Sasha, who had stretched out on the daybed and fallen asleep. Examining Sasha’s slightly freckled cheeks, which were heavily sun-kissed, Karel became even more stealthy. He knew Sasha often felt tense when with him. So, he could only look at Sasha so indulgently when Sasha was asleep.

“What are you stupidly staring at?”

Behind Karel, making no effort to hide his footsteps, appeared Julian. Karel reflexively brought his index finger to his lips. Shh.

Julian chuckled at Karel’s frantic gesture and plopped down beside him. He had a quirky personality that could only be described as peculiar.

“I wasn’t staring.”

“You’re not awake yet.”

Karel involuntarily made a annoyed expression. Ignoring Karel’s annoyance, Julian spread out the mail he had brought. It wasn’t until Karel finally gave the bundle of papers he had been holding a glance that he gruffly asked:

“It seems like word has spread about Ludwig’s readers coming to southern France.”

“Well, there seems to be quite a few letters.”

“…Shouldn’t you go to your room and check?”

“What’s with you? You don’t think I’m interrupting your private time, do you?”

“That’s right.”

Karel’s persistent nagging didn’t faze Julian at all as he tore open the first letter.

“What did you two do today?”

“We went to the beach in the morning. Sasha likes it there.”

Even though they just spent time strolling without much conversation, it was precious to Karel. He couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Sasha staring intently at the menu of the beachside café, which was adorned with various colors and shapes of cakes. Despite claiming not to like sweets much, Sasha undeniably had a fondness for indulging.

“Were there many people at the beach?”

“Not really. The water was cold in the morning. Oh, Sasha seemed interested in trying swimming. But swimming in the sea requires some stamina…”

“Why not just fill the pool at the villa with water?”

“Maybe. I should teach Sasha how to swim.”

That darn Sasha, always on Karel’s mind, intertwining with every topic unconsciously, Julian noticed, making a slightly annoyed expression.

“Useless party invitation.”

Saying that, Julian casually tossed aside the first letter he had just checked. Then, he opened the second one.

“This one… It’s a dinner gathering. Can’t just ignore this person.”

The second letter was an invitation from Picton, the local estate manager. He was well-connected in the business world, making it difficult to brush him off. Seeing Julian hesitate, Karel asked,

“Why? Don’t want to go?”

“It was when I was very young, I once accepted an invitation to a dinner. This guy was obsessed with carrots. Every item on the table was made of carrots. Did you know there are purple carrots? White carrots? I found out that day. Carrot soup, carrot soufflé, carrot cake, carrot salad, you name it, I had enough to the point where orange tea was served at the end. Are we made into tea from dried carrots? I was utterly fed up. Never want to go again.”

Recalling that memory, Julian shuddered. Karel also became serious. Although less so now, Julian used to be a picky eater who complained about the menu at every meal. Karel suspected that Franz, the estate manager, deliberately subjected his son to the carrot hell.

And it was when Julian picked up the third letter and checked the sender’s name that he narrowed his eyes in surprise.

“It’s a letter from Father.”

“What’s the occasion?”

Karel also knew that Julian always sends updates to his father whenever he visits a new city during his travels. However, until now, there had never been a response. But a letter? Karel just thought it was a rare occurrence.

“It seems like we’ve left the mansion empty for too long. Franz seems to miss his son.”

“Hmph, after living apart for ten years due to boarding school and university, is he sentimental now?”

He said that, but Julian sifted through the letter from his father with affectionate eyes.

Julian’s expression changed subtly at a certain point. After a while, with a rather serious expression, Julian spoke up.

“Do you remember Madame Rambouillet?”

“What?”

Hearing a name that he never thought he’d hear again at this point, Karel furrowed his brow in puzzlement.

Madame Rambouillet, the Russian noblewoman of French descent whom Karel encountered in Paris, had created a perplexing situation for him by deeply infatuating him.

“Madame sent… a lengthy letter to the Ludwigs’ mansion, that is, to our father. Aside from various long greetings and descriptions of the seasons, here’s the gist if you remove all the frills. Someday, she’ll come to the estate to visit.”

“Oh…”

It was when Karel sighed unknowingly. Julian, folding the letter, also said,

“You noticed too! Madame’s purpose is you.”

While Karel became serious, Julian was holding back laughter that was about to burst out. It was because Karel’s earnest expression, like he was tearing his own hair out, was amusing.

“Sorry, but thanks to you, Father is quite excited now. He’s been trying hard to network with French businessmen for business expansion anyway… If it’s Madame Rambouillet’s family, it’s on a whole different level from mediocre connections, isn’t it? He even praised me, saying you’re not just coming back for a leisurely visit.”

“Thank you. Thanks to you, I also received praise from Father.”

Karel was silent for a moment. Then, with a somewhat disgusted expression, he murmured,

“I never thought we’d meet again.”

“Well, don’t take it seriously. Madame won’t be able to find you. She’s probably still searching for the ‘Clements’ noble family. So, she must have sent a letter through Ludwig to establish a connection.”

“There was no mention of you in the letter. And they wouldn’t directly reveal their intentions to find a man named Karel either. That’s how nobles are. They think hiding their intentions is sophisticated.”

By the time Karel reluctantly accepted Julian’s words, Sasha slowly opened his eyes.

With his hair scattered over his face, Sasha, who opened his eyes thinly, quickly sat up when he saw Karel and Julian sitting side by side in front of him. It seemed like he had suddenly woken up.

“You don’t have to get up. Just relax and sleep.”

“Julian?”

“I was just admiring your sleeping face.”

Sasha couldn’t hide his flustered expression at Julian’s joke. Understandably so, if he fell asleep in a place where no one was around, only to wake up and find two big men staring at him…

“What are you saying? Don’t make Sasha uncomfortable.”

“Why are you scolding me? I just complimented him. Isn’t that right?”

Julian chuckled cheerfully and left with only his father’s letter in hand. With his departure, the awkward silence returned between Karel and Sasha.

As Julian left, he once again looked at the letter with reluctance.

“Don’t take it too seriously… That’s what he said, but…”

There was something bothering him. The Court de Jouy was also Madame Rambouillet’s family estate.

Just like Karel, Julian had also thought of Madame Rambouillet as a passing acquaintance and never expected to meet her again. However, it seemed that Madame was determined to hold onto that connection with all her might. Perhaps her unhappy marriage and the harsh, cold weather of St. Petersburg were harder to endure than he had thought.

“Come to think of it, she’s quite young too.”

As far as I remember, she was five years younger than Julian. When it comes to love, it’s a time when even childish actions are justifiable. Thinking about her behavior in front of the Grand Duke on the last day when leaving the mansion, it was unsettling.

But still, could there really be a chance to meet again… From St. Petersburg to southern France was a long journey.

Julian headed to his study, pondering over a reply to the letter.

＊ ＊ ＊

In the afternoon, long after lunch, Karel searched the kitchen for ingredients and personally made pancakes. Although he couldn’t cook gourmet dishes, Karel’s cooking skills were quite decent when it came to making food for himself.

For Sasha, who liked sweets, Karel loaded the pancakes with plenty of bananas, and finally added honey and cream butter. Eager to give it while it was still warm, he carried the plate straight to Sasha’s room, where Sasha was reading a dictionary.

“There it is.”

Feeling awkward as Sasha met his gaze, Karel silently placed the plate on the table without saying anything.

Soon, Sasha approached, sniffing the food as he looked at the plate. Seeing his slightly expectant expression, Karel personally cut a large piece of pancake and offered it to Sasha.

“I’m not sure how it tastes, but…”

Instead of habitually grabbing the fork in front of the embarrassed Karel, Sasha immediately took the food into his mouth. As Karel nervously anticipated Sasha’s reaction, Sasha chewed with a mouthful and a bulging cheek, then smiled.

“Thank goodness. Is it good?”

Relieved, Karel pushed the plate closer to Sasha. Sasha, who was focused on eating, handed the fork to Karel.

“Why? Don’t you like it? Are you full?”

Sasha handed the fork to Karel again. It seemed like he wasn’t saying he was done eating, but rather suggesting that Karel should try it too. Although he knew well the taste of his pancakes, Karel suddenly felt greedy.

“Uh…”

The moment Sasha opened his mouth with the fork in front of him, it was incredibly awkward.

However, since the deed had already been done, Karel lowered his eyes, his ears burning red. Sasha was frozen like ice, surprised by Karel’s unexpected gesture. Karel soon felt so embarrassed that he thought he would die.

Soon, there was the sound of plates and knives clashing. When Karel looked up again, Sasha was offering him a piece of pancake. His eyes seemed to be faintly smiling, and somehow, it felt like he was treating Karel like a younger brother. Still, Karel wondered why he didn’t mind being treated as younger by Sasha, unlike Julian. Curious, he accepted the food without hesitation.

Even though he had made the taste of pancakes hundreds of times before, it was irresistibly sweet.

“Maybe I put too much honey on it.”

Karel thought as he savored the pancakes. Sharing a plate of pancakes, Karel discreetly moved closer to Sasha. Sasha, engrossed in eating, didn’t seem to mind, and Karel cautiously wrapped his arm around Sasha’s waist. Still, Sasha didn’t pull away.

As Karel fed Sasha and felt the overwhelming happiness, he couldn’t help but immerse himself in it.

After that, Karel often made snacks and brought them to Sasha’s room. It was especially gratifying to feed Sasha food he made himself.

“It’s really confusing.”

Karel scratched his head as he pondered.

While Sasha didn’t outright reject Karel, he also didn’t initiate anything. Even when Karel hugged or lightly kissed him, Sasha didn’t seem to hate it, but he didn’t particularly enjoy it either.

It was difficult to know when it would be appropriate to try something beyond kissing. Nevertheless, Karel diligently made snacks, thinking that someday the right time would come.

It was a particularly light dinner for Sasha tonight.

The menu for dinner was light white-fleshed fish, commonly found in southern countries. Sasha hardly touched the food, barely putting it in his mouth and only eating a little bread and vegetables before putting down his utensils. Karel, who had been worried the whole time, didn’t waste any time and prepared food late into the night.

But he felt uncomfortable knocking on Sasha’s door late at night under the pretext of a late-night snack.

“Because my intentions are impure, that’s why.”

With a plate piled high with pasta with olive oil and a chilled Spanish sparkling wine in one hand, Karel lingered in front of Sasha’s door for a long time.

Eventually, with a feeling of “whatever,” Karel finally spoke up.

“Sasha, can I come in?”

With his hands full, Karel couldn’t push the door, so he waited for a moment until he heard the dragging footsteps from inside, and soon the door opened.

The room was dimly lit, with only a few candles burning. Seeing Sasha’s eyes slightly clouded behind the door, Karel stepped back.

“Were you trying to sleep? It’s still early…? I’ll just… um, no, I’ll go. Sorry for disturbing…”

“….”

As Karel awkwardly withdrew, Sasha, who had grabbed Karel’s wrist first, pulled him inside. Karel followed Sasha’s lead, feeling relieved. It seemed Sasha had no intention of rejecting the person who had brought food.

Karel’s guess that Sasha hadn’t eaten much of the dinner because it didn’t suit his taste seemed to be right, as Sasha quickly devoured over half of the pasta as soon as he sat down.

Smiling, Karel said, “Take your time.”

As he poured wine into the glasses, the sparkling bubbles quickly filled them with a refreshing sound. Sasha gulped down the wine like water and wiped his mouth. Seeing him put down his fork, it seemed he was now somewhat full.

After only five minutes of sitting, Karel felt a bit awkward with Sasha, who had just finished eating.

He hadn’t come expecting situations like feeding each other as before. It just didn’t flow as expected. Sasha ate aggressively, finished his meal without clinking glasses or sharing, and was done eating alone.

Karel pondered awkwardly. He knew that forcibly sitting next to Sasha and holding hands would not bring the same happiness as when Sasha expressed affection first. He wanted to feel that joy again.

It was when Karel resigned himself and took a few bites of the cold pasta.

Sasha poured himself another glass of wine. Karel also liked the champagne-like sparkling wine for its non-intoxicating freshness. However, if he drank it too quickly, he would get drunk. Karel said awkwardly, “Drink slowly.”