Solo For Two

The sound of the door opening was heard.Sasha slowly became aware that he had dozed off and woke up due to the sound of the door. The first thing he saw was an unfamiliar, antique room and a man in an elegant charcoal-colored suit.Sasha blinked and faintly smiled.“Karel.”Karel stood a little distance from the bed, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, looking at Sasha. To the still groggy Sasha, Karel’s well-dressed appearance made it seem like he had just come from some party. Karel often dressed in such fine suits when attending events at the Ludwig mansion.“You look great.”Sasha’s slender eyes, looking at Karel, were filled with intimacy and affection. Still not fully awake, Sasha seemed to be confusing the past and the present. Karel let him come to his senses on his own.Sasha lay there observing Karel for a while. In his gloved hand was a cigarette, and only then did Sasha notice the smoky smell lingering in the room.“May I have one too?”Sasha got up and approached Karel. In response to his request, Karel reached for a metal cigarette case from his pocket. But Sasha, who had come closer, shook his head and took the cigarette from Karel’s mouth.“A puff is enough.”Sasha took a deep drag from the cigarette, closing his eyes as he did so. Karel’s expression subtly hardened, but Sasha didn’t seem to notice. He swayed slightly from the momentary dizziness of smoking after a long time and rested his head on Karel’s shoulder. A short sigh of exasperation came from above Sasha’s head.As Sasha exhaled the cigarette smoke, Karel’s neutral expression finally cracked.“How ridiculous.”Karel’s sharp words seemed to snap Sasha back to reality. He looked up at Karel, visibly startled and disturbed. The distinct scar on Karel’s face seemed to finally remind Sasha of reality.“Sir Scar.”Karel took the cigarette from Sasha’s fingers and stubbed it out in the ashtray.“Sasha, I’m saying this for your own good.”Karel’s tone was cold. Sasha realized the gravity of the situation as if waking from a dream.“If you need someone to ease your loneliness or flirt with, you can pay for the company.”“……”“I didn’t come here to serve you.”In the suddenly tense atmosphere, Sasha’s fingertips grew cold. ‘Pay for the company’—it was Karel referring to himself.The truth was, seeing the familiar face as soon as he woke up had put Sasha at ease. But Karel had merely given him a chance, not fully forgiven or forgotten.Sasha painfully realized that he had to rebuild his relationship with Scar.“I’m sorry, Sir Scar…”Karel brushed past Sasha.“No need for apologies. Come and sit down.”At Karel’s words, Sasha quickly approached him.Karel poured himself a drink and handed Sasha a glass of water with ice. It seemed like a considerate gesture towards Sasha, who was trying to avoid alcohol. Despite trying not to get his hopes up, Karel’s thoughtfulness made Sasha’s heart flutter.“Before we begin, let’s make something clear.”“Yes, please go ahead.”Sasha wetted his lips with the cold water, observing Karel’s expression.Sasha didn’t know how to appease someone who was so angry. But one thing he had learned since reuniting with Karel was to follow Karel’s way until his anger subsided, no matter what.“Don’t mistake this relationship for a personal one.”“……”“I will decide when we meet. While I’ll try to accommodate your schedule, you can’t request to see me first.”“I understand.”This much was expected. Sasha hesitated before asking.“How will we communicate?”“I’ll inform you through Mikhail.”Having to go through the director instead of directly felt uncomfortable to Sasha, but there was no other option. It reminded him of the times he was forced to make connections with nobles in the patron club under the director’s pressure. It was an unpleasant feeling, akin to being treated like public property by the powerful, but with Karel as the subject, Sasha didn’t know where to direct his frustration.“Anything else you want to know?”Sasha hesitated, swallowing dryly. Karel seemed to be referring strictly to their ‘patron relationship,’ but Sasha’s real questions were more trivial.Still, he couldn’t decide if it was alright to ask.After hesitating, Sasha finally spoke.“How… how did you get the scar?”“Why do you want to know that?”Karel asked, genuinely puzzled. His demeanor suggested that he thought Sasha’s concern was unnecessary.“I was worried… that it might have hurt a lot…”As Sasha said this, he felt that his own reason sounded childish, and his neck turned red. Karel gave a short laugh at Sasha’s words, but Sasha could tell that he wasn’t really laughing out of amusement.“I didn’t know you were the type to worry about such things.”As Sasha lowered his head in response to the obvious sarcasm, Karel slowly took off his gloves. Sasha’s gaze naturally stayed on his hands. The gloves were of the highest quality, made from very thin and soft lamb leather, showing the shape of his fingers almost perfectly. Now that he thought about it, since they had reunited, Karel had always been wearing gloves.As Karel slowly removed the gloves, his large, pale hands that had not seen light were revealed. They were hands with a contour very familiar to Sasha.“Karel…?”However, the exposed skin bore horrific scars. The back of his hands, fingers, and even the wrists visible beyond the sleeves were covered with gruesome red scars, as if they had been slashed repeatedly. Seeing the evidence of such brutal struggles, Sasha took a deep breath.“I encountered an enemy soldier, but I had no weapon at the time.”“…Your hands…your hands are…”“I had no choice but to fight barehanded. I barely managed to subdue him, but as I choked him, the soldier swung his sword at me with all his might until his last breath.”“……”“My face, my neck, and my hands.”Karel looked Sasha in the eye as he put his gloves back on.“You might have only dealt with noble officers sitting around theaters and clubs in Paris, but real war is like this.”Sasha’s lips turned pale. Even though Karel’s hands were now fully hidden inside the gloves again, Sasha couldn’t tear his gaze away, and tears started to fall onto his cheeks.“I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It must have been so hard…”“Sasha?”Karel called Sasha’s name gently, as if to comfort him. When Sasha slowly raised his head, he saw that Karel’s face was expressionless, in contrast to his voice.“Don’t apologize.”“…Karel.”“Every time you so easily say you’re sorry…”“……”“It makes me very…angry.”Karel drained the glass of liquor on the table. Then he checked his watch and gave an order to the still sniffling Sasha.At first, Sasha didn’t realize it was an order.“Then undress.”“What?”“We don’t have much time. I have to leave in thirty minutes.”Karel gestured with his chin to hurry him up.Sasha got up in a rush, tears-streaked hands clumsily removing his trench coat. He looked at Karel while loosening his tie, but every time his hands hesitated, Karel silently urged him on with his eyes. Sasha began to tremble as he unbuttoned his dress shirt and then took off his pants. As his slender, straight legs hidden under the fabric were exposed, Karel spoke.“Take off your underwear, shoes, everything, and lie down. Make sure I can see your back.”“Here? Now?”Karel nodded.Despite his embarrassment, Sasha obediently took off his clothes as instructed. When Karel tapped the floor with his cane, Sasha hesitantly laid down in that spot. He couldn’t believe he was completely naked and kneeling in front of Karel in just five minutes. Overwhelmed, Sasha’s tears had stopped.“Karel… Uhn, Karel!”Something hard, the tip of a shoe, touched Sasha’s inner thighs and perineum. When Sasha turned around in shock at the feeling of his sensitive parts being pressed by Karel’s foot, Karel said.“You didn’t prepare yourself. Next time, come loosened up.”“I’m sorry…”The feeling from behind made Sasha shudder.Lying on the floor, all he could do was stare at the grain of the wood. It was confusing. Karel wanted a physical relationship with him, and while Sasha had agreed to it, hoping not to miss the chance, he hadn’t expected it to be like this.He thought it would just be rough or intense lovemaking. He had expected to endure it and then feel the solid arms or warm body embracing him at the climax…But instead of warmth and embrace, the situation was cold and mechanical, treating him purely as an instrument for gratification. Sasha felt confused.Would it always be like this?No time for conversation, no chance to warm each other with their body heat—how was he supposed to ease Karel’s anger like this?“Uhn… It hurts.”Something hard and cold prodded at his entrance, and Sasha curled up, bending his back. When he managed to turn his head to look behind, he saw Karel pushing the thick end of his wooden cane inside him. Unlike Sasha, who was lying naked, Karel had not even removed a single glove and wore a slightly bored expression.The Karel of the past had always lovingly caressed Sasha until his whole body relaxed, and used his hands to prepare him. This moment was a shock to Sasha, who knew no other way.The cane’s tip scraped inside, and Sasha collapsed, unable to stifle his scream. Karel pulled Sasha’s waist closer until he was right in front of him. His knees stung from rubbing against the wooden floor.He heard the sound of a zipper and, in disbelief, felt something wet touch his rear. Sasha braced himself and pleaded.“No, please. I can’t. It won’t go in, Karel.”“Relax.”Karel’s voice was soft, but Sasha couldn’t hear it.Knowing how hard it was to accept Karel’s without any preparation, Sasha gasped in fear, but habitually relaxed as much as possible. The tight entrance was already red and swollen from the intrusion of the cane. Without hesitation, Karel entered at once.“Ah… Ah… Ah….”The pain of stretching was immense.When it was fully inside, Sasha felt a retching sensation as his insides were pressured.“Breathe.”Karel lifted Sasha’s chin with the cane. As his airway opened, Sasha, who had unconsciously held his breath, convulsed and repeated short, sharp breaths. Karel looked at the trembling muscles of Sasha’s back and pulled out his member. When he re-entered, a sobbing sound emerged this time.When they lived together, Sasha had been so thin that his spine was clearly visible. But now, he seemed to weigh at least 7 kilograms more, with a tightly toned, muscular body and no excess flesh. Under his thin, sweat-slick skin, his muscles were sharply defined. Moreover, he shamelessly presented his firm, taut buttocks.…Anyone would feel an impulse.Sasha felt a gloved hand caressing his back. Feeling repelled by the texture of the leather that lacked warmth, Sasha reflexively tried to crawl away. But Karel grabbed his waist tightly, not letting go. Even more painfully, Karel plunged in from above while holding Sasha’s waist, adding gravity to the thrust.Painful?Sasha bit his lip. The intense internal stimulation made his arms, supporting him against the floor, tremble. He originally felt more when things were rough. As expected, it didn’t take long after Karel found the right spot for Sasha to climax involuntarily, trembling and moaning on his own. Karel paused for a moment, feeling Sasha’s tight insides gripping him.“Mm… Mm, Karel.”Surprised that Karel didn’t move when it felt good, Sasha lifted his head. Karel was silently observing Sasha’s face, which had completely lost its composure, though Sasha had no way of knowing.Instead of responding, Karel lit a new cigarette while still inside Sasha. It was only after Karel leisurely finished the cigarette that Sasha began to whimper. Sasha was both desperate for movement and scared of the cigarette ash falling on his back.But Karel left Sasha until he whimpered and begged to finish quickly.It was only when Sasha was completely exhausted, lying with his cheek pressed weakly against the floor, that the rough thrusting began again. Sasha let out a weak, nasal moan. His forehead and cheeks, scraped against the wooden floor, turned a peachy red.“Hah, hah….”Much later, when Karel finally released his grip on Sasha’s waist, Sasha collapsed on the floor, gasping for breath. He felt something flowing from behind, in sync with the convulsions in his thighs. Sasha, who had lost his mind midway through, realized that Karel had climaxed too.‘To think I felt it from this….’The fact that he had been aroused by mere discharge made Sasha unbearably ashamed.Sasha rolled his eyes to look at Karel. Karel had already finished a quick cleanup with a towel and water and was now checking his pocket watch. It seemed he genuinely intended to leave on time. Sasha, exhausted, closed his eyes.After a moment, hearing the sound of liquid being poured, Sasha struggled to lift his eyelids again. From his unfamiliar view lying on the floor, he saw Karel pouring another drink. After slowly finishing the drink, Karel was about to leave the room two minutes before his planned departure time. He would have left if Sasha hadn’t grabbed his leg.“What is it?”“Karel….”Belated, sorrowful tears welled up on Sasha’s cheeks.“The secretary will prepare a carriage. We’ll leave when you’re ready.”“That’s not it….”“Do you want something else?”Sasha’s throat ached as he swallowed. Want something?He wanted a kiss.He wanted to guarantee the start of their relationship that way.But Karel had firmly stated that this was not a ‘personal relationship,’ and since returning alive, Karel had sometimes frighteningly lost his temper over things Sasha couldn’t predict, making it hard for him to speak. He was scared of making Karel angry again.Seeing Sasha remain silent, Karel sighed lightly.Then he bent down and helped Sasha, who was still lying on the floor, to sit up. As Sasha sat, the fluid that had been held inside him slowly flowed out. The lukewarm temperature of the liquid that carried his internal heat gave him chills.“Sasha.”Karel’s voice sounded in his ear. Sasha felt his heart pound wildly for a moment. From the close distance as Karel helped him up, Sasha could even smell the faint scent of Karel’s cologne. It felt like he could kiss him from this distance.But the words Karel whispered were completely different from what Sasha expected.“Mikhail will promote Igor and Gudin to first soloists next season. Both are young and promising, so they’ll compete for the top spot. But don’t worry. As long as I’m supporting you, they won’t be able to push you out.”“That’s not it…!”“We really don’t have time now.”Karel said this and stood up without hesitation. Even at the end, his hands were polite as he released Sasha’s body.Karel left, and the door closed.Sasha felt utterly miserable, as if he had sold his body for the principal dancer position.‘You know. I’ve always been used to… trading my body.’He thought to himself, remembering that it was he who had held on and made the request. Karel was merely fulfilling his promise. With no one else to blame, Sasha painfully rose to his creaking feet. He wanted to wash.When Sasha finished his shower and was buttoning his shirt, he heard a knock on the door. Feeling weak and miserable, Sasha became petulant and didn’t respond on purpose. He left the secretary standing outside for about ten minutes, only responding on the fourth knock.“You may come in.”The door opened immediately. Sasha, who was combing his wet hair, saw the secretary’s reflection in the mirror.“Are you ready to leave immediately?”The secretary leaned against the door, not showing much irritation despite the long wait. Seeing his clean face, Sasha felt embarrassed for taking out his frustration on an innocent person.“Yes.”The secretary waited for Sasha to exit the room before leading the way. He walked briskly, a pace that was a bit challenging for Sasha, who still felt pain behind. However, Sasha tried hard not to show it and kept up with him.With his hands in his coat pockets, Sasha observed the secretary’s back. The secretary, dressed in a perfectly tailored suit without a single unnecessary wrinkle, had a surprisingly good physique, likely honed by sports. Suddenly, a rumor Sasha had heard somewhere flashed through his mind—the secretary shared a bed with Karel.‘How does this man satisfy Karel?’Sasha thought about his own situation, lying prone. There had been no kisses or hugs from Karel. If someone else climbed into bed with him and felt his warmth through their skin….The mere thought of such a scene made Sasha’s breathing quicken. Unable to suppress the rising jealousy, Sasha abruptly spoke.“May I ask you something?”“Feel free to ask questions. Of course…”“…?”“Whether I answer is up to me.”Sasha was taken aback and opened his mouth in surprise. The subtle sense of being looked down upon from their first meeting was not his imagination. The secretary did not treat Sasha as Karel’s ‘guest.’ He never had, from the beginning until now.“Why do you dislike me so much?”The secretary chuckled lightly and asked in return.“Why do you think people should like you?”“When did I…?”Sasha reflexively tried to deny it, but the secretary cut him off and continued.“Well, I understand why you might think that, having lived with an abundance of goodwill. After all, you are ‘Sasha Sedrin.’ I can imagine how people have treated you like royalty.”It sounded sarcastic, making Sasha sullenly reply.“That’s not always the case.”The secretary pushed open a heavy door.It was still bright outside, meaning his time with Karel had been short. Sasha had foolishly hoped to spend the afternoon together, have a leisurely dinner, and then share a bed and sleep. He felt both emptiness and embarrassment.Standing by the carriage, the secretary spoke.“I don’t dislike you. But I don’t particularly like you either.”“…”“Get in and rest.”The secretary politely opened the carriage door. Seeing this, Sasha again pondered whether he was just being overly sensitive.“Um…”“Yes?”When Sasha parted his dry lips, the secretary looked up with a questioning gaze.“Your name…?”“It’s Georg.”“Georg, um…”Sasha, his face reddening, hesitated several times before speaking. He opened and closed his mouth about three times before finally managing to speak.“Does Karel… I mean, does Lord Scar have someone he’s in a relationship with?”The secretary, Georg, tilted his head slightly and stared intently at Sasha instead of answering. It was hard to tell what he was thinking. Sasha didn’t have the courage to directly ask, ‘Are you that person too?’As Georg remained silent, Sasha felt like sinking into the ground and hastily offered an excuse.“I was just… curious…”Sasha added in a small, hesitant voice.“Please don’t tell Lord Scar.”“About what?”“That I asked such a thing….”“Hmm… Alright.”As Sasha climbed into the carriage, Georg closed the door with a click.Soon, the carriage began to shake as it moved. Sasha reviewed what he had done today, carefully considering which of his words he should not have said.To his despair, it seemed like almost all of them.＊ ＊ ＊Levin was slightly surprised when he arrived at Sasha’s house. Sasha had said he wouldn’t be home tonight, yet his shoes were scattered haphazardly in the entrance.“Sasha?”There was no answer. Knowing Sasha only replied when he felt like it, Levin didn’t worry much and turned on the lights and candles in the dark living room. As the room lit up, the child on Levin’s back whined in sleepy protest.‘What’s that smell?’A pungent cigarette smell wafted from Sasha’s bedroom. Levin gently pushed open the bedroom door.Smoke, visible to the naked eye, filled the room with the windows closed.“Sasha, what kind of cigarette… Open the windows for ventilation.”Sasha smiled brightly as Levin approached. Although he looked happy, his body, leaning languidly against the bed, seemed a bit strange. Sasha mumbled something unintelligibly, and Levin, paying no mind to the incoherent words, opened the window.As the fresh air from outside poured in, Levin noticed the opium scattered around. His expression instantly hardened.“Sasha, are you in pain?”She knew Sasha sometimes used opium as a painkiller when he couldn’t sleep due to severe muscle pain after a performance. But he had never been this reckless.“Pain? I’m great. I feel like I can fly.”“Give it to me.”“I’m fine…”“Let go, Sasha.”Levin took the pipe from Sasha’s hand and quickly swept the messy brown powder on the table into a dustpan. Sasha watched in a daze as the expensive opium disappeared before his eyes.Levin cleared away all the drugs and looked down at Sasha. Then,“How could you be so irresponsible?”With just that one sentence, she slammed the door and left.Left alone in the room, Sasha tried to think about what had just happened. However, with his dulled mind, he couldn’t think clearly and just started laughing.Sasha slowly ran his hand through his hair and then collapsed onto the pillow. The remnants of the drug wrapped around his body softly. Feeling comfortable, Sasha drifted into sleep.＊ ＊ ＊Sasha woke up five hours later. When he came out of the bedroom, Levin was sitting at the kitchen table like a statue.“Levin?”It was two in the morning. Surprised that Levin hadn’t left despite the late hour, Sasha walked closer.Then Levin spoke, still turned away from Sasha.“Think about what you’ve done.”Sasha froze at her blunt tone. He had already recalled the previous night as soon as he woke up. He remembered using up all the remaining opium without restraint. But when he saw nothing upon waking, he thought it had been a dream… Levin must have cleaned it up.Sasha cautiously sat across from her.“I’m sorry.”“Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?”At that, Sasha lowered his head.“I…”Sasha glanced up at Levin’s expression. Recently, his apologies often seemed to anger people even more. Suppressing his defensive urge to explain himself, Sasha fell silent, and Levin snapped at him.“Do you want to become a drug addict at a young age, squander your fortune, and end up living as a homeless person on the street?”It’s not that bad yet…But Sasha swallowed his indignation and lowered his eyes.“No.”Levin had usually turned a blind eye to most of Sasha’s reckless behavior. Sasha wondered why she was so particularly angry this time.“You have someone to take responsibility for. It’s not just your life anymore, and Charles is so young. Don’t be irresponsible. You changed that child’s life on a whim, and now you’re impulsively ruining your own.”“I’m sorry.”Sasha mumbled his apology without lifting his head. Levin looked at him with a sense of frustration. After a moment, Sasha began to sniffle. Levin’s heart softened a bit, thinking he might be remorseful.Then Sasha started babbling.“Levin, if I… get addicted to drugs, get sick, or die quickly, please take care of Charles with my inheritance.”“You can’t just take responsibility with money! You need to be alive to take care of him!”For the first time, Levin raised her voice, and Sasha flinched.“You don’t think just feeding and clothing him is fulfilling your duty, right? You were trying to be Charles’ guardian.”“…Yes.”“Then take care of yourself first. You need to be someone Charles can be proud of.”Sasha stammered with a bewildered look.“But I can’t stay with Charles until he dies.”“…Charles wouldn’t expect that either.”Levin sighed lightly and replied.“Children grow up and become independent. When that time comes, give him the appropriate love and support for his age. But don’t disappear by dying or suddenly leaving one day. That would hurt him.”Sasha remained silent for a long time at Levin’s words.Levin didn’t push him further. Sasha tended to harshly criticize himself over small mistakes.‘He must have understood by now.’And above all, Levin knew that despite Sasha’s stumbling through life, he wasn’t inherently bad and rarely made the same mistake twice.‘…It would be better if he could realize things beforehand, though.’