ALL NOVEL 02.
02.
My parents were saying unusually affectionate things today. I replied curtly, “Ah, whatever.”
After hanging up, I parted ways with my friend and headed to my brother’s academy. Ignoring whatever the academy teacher was saying, I took my brother out.
My brother blinked his big eyes and asked me,
“Hyung, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”
“I don’t know either. Mom and Dad want us to come right now.”
“What about the store?”
“They closed early. I asked them to make spicy stir-fried chicken.”
“Hehe.”
“Why are you laughing?”
“I’m happy we’re having dinner together.”
“Are you a kid?”
“Hehe… Hyung, I am still a kid. I’m only eight years old.”
Looking at my brother smiling innocently, I just pouted.
“Oh, right. Mom said to bring some kind of paper. What was she talking about?”
“Paper?”
“She said it was paper with numbers on it.”
“Hyung. I think I know what it is. Ask me.”
“What are you talking about? What is it?”
“You have to ask me. Okay, hyung? Make sure to say it. Don’t forget. Don’t just pass by, you have to tell me.”
My brother said this with bright, sparkling eyes…
And that’s where the dream ended.
I woke up shuddering as if I’d had a nightmare, even though it wasn’t time for the alarm to go off. I was dazed for a moment. My first thought upon waking was, “Ah, I shouldn’t have woken up.”
If I could have dreamed more, what scenes would have unfolded…?
Would Mom, Dad, my brother, and I have had a pleasant dinner?
We should have eaten the thick-sauced spicy stir-fried chicken deliciously and even shown the scene of doing the dishes. The immature son who never helped with cleaning up should have diligently taken the dishes to wash them, and Mom and Dad should have seen their son become a good housekeeper, cleaning the table neatly.
I was angry that I couldn’t even enjoy my own dream as I wanted.
Feeling complicated and unsettled, I didn’t go back to sleep and went to the living room to turn on the TV with the sound muted. Somehow sensing my presence, my brother, who had been sleeping in his room, came out.
“Hyung, I was startled by the rustling sound from the kitchen. Isn’t it time you should be sleeping? Did something happen?”
As my brother asked a question similar to the one in my dream, I was about to say it was nothing, but then I remembered his words from the dream. The words to make sure to ask him. Feeling uneasy, I ended up telling him about what happened in the dream. My brother listened with a serious expression as if he were attending a lecture, then nodded.
“I see. Let’s make sure to buy a lottery ticket today. It’s Saturday, perfect timing.”
“Why suddenly a lottery ticket?”
“I think Mom and Dad were giving us a hint to buy a lottery ticket.”
“You mean the ‘paper with numbers on it’ they told us to bring?”
“Yes.”
“Hey, don’t talk nonsense. Buying lottery tickets is just throwing money away. Didn’t I tell you not to gamble or buy lottery tickets? A person should think about earning money through diligent work, not relying on such get-rich-quick schemes. That only leads to becoming a ruined person with a rotten mind.”
“I know. I’ll use the money I earned easily from tutoring, not the money you earned with difficulty. It feels like we should buy one this time. I’d really like you to buy one too. Just trust me this once.”
My brother was serious throughout, but I just frowned.
That day, I ended up not buying a lottery ticket. Actually, I was going to buy one, but I was so busy that I forgot and couldn’t buy it.
However, my usually absent-minded brother didn’t forget that day and bought a lotto ticket… At 9:20 PM, while I was working in the kitchen of a beer house, I received a call from my brother.
It was a call saying he had won the first prize in the lottery.
One of only two winners that week, 6.2 billion won after taxes.
And just like that, our lives changed completely.
*
I packed my brother’s laptop and headed to the café we had agreed to meet at. It’s the place we always meet when he sends me on errands to bring something. As I opened the door, the doorbell rang, and the part-time worker greeted me energetically.
“Welcome.”
“Hello. One regular iced Americano, please. I’ll drink it here. No need for a stamp on the coupon.”
“Certainly, I’ll bring it to you right away.”
After receiving my drink, I sat by the window. Behind me, two college students were talking loudly.
“I was feeling groggy, but after some caffeine, I feel alive again.”
“Right. There’s no other potion like it. The older you get, the more you crave caffeine.”
I took a long sip of my coffee too. But I didn’t feel any more alive.
Through the front window, I could see college students in colorful clothes passing by, chatting cheerfully. All of them smiling brightly, just like forsythias and azaleas enjoying spring.
They look so genuinely happy that it’s a bit strange to me.
How can they be so joyful?
I don’t understand. It’s not that I don’t understand the concept of being happy, but I can’t comprehend how they can genuinely savor an emotion that disappears instantly, like cotton candy dipped in water.
Everyone dies. There’s no immortality in this world. I will die, the café staff will die, those college students will die. The café staff, the college students, everyone knows this.
Yet how can they laugh and chat so sincerely?
Always trying to be mindful of death, I end up having these thoughts even when I see young kids laughing happily. Still, this is much better than before. In the past, I wouldn’t have come up with such a cheesy metaphor about them being like forsythias or azaleas. I wouldn’t have even given them a glance in the first place.
Taking interest in others… That’s only possible when you have the luxury to do so.
In other words, I’ve gained that luxury.
This luxury still feels unfamiliar to me.
After struggling for over 10 years to afford a 6,200 won lunch box, suddenly having 6.2 billion won – it’s only natural that it still feels strange.
How could I adapt in less than two months after living a miserable life and suddenly becoming rich? No matter how adaptable humans are, it’s not easy to overcome such a gap.
My brother seems to have already gotten used to it, as if he was born with a prophecy saying, “You’ll win 6.2 billion won when you’re twenty,” but not me.
Honestly, I still feel like I should be going to work. It feels odd to be leisurely observing this peaceful scene in broad daylight when I feel like I should be fighting drowsiness, aching body, and exhausted mind while mixing cement or making dough for bar snacks.
Perhaps the reason I keep thinking about why I shouldn’t die is because of this unfamiliarity?
I really don’t know why I shouldn’t die, and even more… I don’t know why I’m not dying. I’m not even afraid of death. There’s no reason to live either.
…Is it because of my brother after all?
It would make sense if I’m hesitating because I’m worried about leaving behind a scatter-brained kid who forgets his laptop and goes to school…
But now, Jin’s future is filled with only forsythias and azaleas even without me. Even if he’s that absent-minded.
There are 10 minutes left until our meeting time.
With nothing particular to do, I turned on the internet on my phone. As I was reading some news articles featured on the portal’s main page, I heard the doorbell ring and looked up. A boy with light brown hair was entering the café arm in arm with his girlfriend. It was my brother, Ha Jin, and his girlfriend, Ju Da-bin. They spotted me and greeted me brightly.
“Hyung.”
“Oppa, hello!”
“Oh, Da-bin. Hi.”
“Oppa, you must be having a hard time taking care of your brother. I’ll go order drinks.”
“Okay.”
Da-bin went straight to the counter to order drinks, and Jin sat across from me. I handed Jin the laptop bag. It’s quite heavy, as if all the muscles have really disappeared in that short time.
“Here you go. Try to keep track of your things better.”
“Thanks. Hyung, it’s not much trouble, right? When else would you go outside if not for times like this? You were probably just lounging in bed even now.”
“Yeah, it’s no trouble for me. It’s your girlfriend who’s having a hard time dating such a scatter-brained boyfriend.”
“Oh, come on.”
Ju Da-bin is the same age as Jin, and they’ve been dating since high school after meeting at an academy. I thought they might naturally break up after entering university, but they seemed to have grown even closer after entering the same university and department. Da-bin has a cheerful personality and has been friendly with her boyfriend’s much older brother since we first met.
“Oppa, hello. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Jin’s girlfriend, Ju Da-bin.”
I had just returned home, worn out from fatigue, when this unfamiliar girl greeted me and offered a handshake. In my 24 years of life, that was the first time a first-year high school student had offered me a handshake. Usually, it’s adults who feel awkward when minors offer handshakes.
“Treat Da-bin well. I saw a lot of handsome guys on my way here. You should be showing only your best side to your girlfriend, but instead, you keep forgetting things like this. What are you going to do?”
“It’s fine. Da-bin loves even this side of me.”
“What makes you so arrogant? I must have raised you wrong.”
“Hyung, you raised me to be a very rational and objective person.”
Jin chuckled suspiciously. Da-bin came back with one iced Americano, one hot Americano, and two slices of cake. There were three forks.
“Oppa, please eat.”
Da-bin pushed a cheesecake towards me and took the other one for themselves. I didn’t have an appetite, but I couldn’t refuse what Da-bin was offering.
“Thank you. I should be the one treating you, but I’m always receiving instead.”
“What are you saying? How many years have we been receiving from you, oppa? How can you say that? We’re finally able to repay you now that we’re in college and earning money. I’m actually continuing to date this guy to repay what we’ve received from you, oppa.”
“Hey, Ju Da-bin. Isn’t that too direct to say to my face?”
“What. Be grateful I’m not saying it directly into your ear.”
“You practically said it at ear-level already.”
“Just eat before I put my lips to your eardrum and say it.”
Da-bin cut a piece of cake with her fork and popped it into Jin’s mouth. Jin chewed the cake with a sulky face.
Da-bin is the only person who knows that we won the first prize in the lottery. I wanted to keep it a secret… but Jin quickly told her regardless of my wishes.