Speak of The Devil

You are proficient in English and Japanese, and your experience is impressive. I heard that you started your career as a secretary when you joined Eunha Trading. Were you scouted to be Secretary for President Jung Yiyeon at Nova Hotel? Great. Thank you for the interview today, and we will contact you in the future.The interviewer, who spoke in such a friendly manner, had a smiling face, but I could read that there was a strong personality hidden beneath. Despite the smiling face, the character was not easygoing.Although he seemed to hide a coldness within, I could tell that he liked me. The atmosphere of the interview was excellent, and the questions were deep. Based on my experience, if the atmosphere is like this, the job offer is almost certain.As expected, receiving an email saying they won’t hire me was a result I never anticipated. Moreover, if this is already the third or fourth time, it’s clear that there’s some force at play that I am unaware of.“Oh, why isn’t he answering the phone at a time like this!”Having failed to secure a job after four interviews, I was more hysterical than usual due to the frustration. Of course, the accumulated salary over the past months was not insignificant, but a significant portion was tied up, and the remaining money in my living expenses account was starting to be a worrying amount. Especially in a situation where I didn’t know when I would be employed, budget cuts were inevitable.No matter how much my brother gave me a card, a thirty-year-old brother couldn’t just happily spend his brother’s chance. Thanks to this, my current life was a bit tight. Although I had been spending money freely, now that there was no money, it was burdensome to go out for drinks. Although I didn’t express it explicitly, there were moments when Jaeoh discreetly bought me food or daily necessities, making me feel embarrassed.For some reason, at such times, the contemptuous expression of Siwoo, who treated me like a fool and dismissed me from the company, would come to mind.“Hyung seems to be very busy… ”“Oh, now even playing is boring. I want to live a busy life. It’s a waste of time, damn it, what am I doing.”Mm-hmm, Jaeoh made a groaning sound next to me.Not long ago, he called his parents and told them he would return to Busan, asking them to make a place for him at the company. Jaeoh, who had to endure a lot of swearing and hung up the phone, was told by his father not to come back until he fixed that rotten tenacity, saying there was no place for someone who couldn’t fill the position recommended by President Jang Wonhyung even after a year. The sound of that scolding was loud enough to be heard even through the phone.Jaeoh, who had boasted loudly that he could make a place even for me, hung up the phone and grimaced with a reddened face, as if feeling ashamed. Even in such a hopeless situation, he had said, “I’ll check around for some openings.” But seeing no news from him indicated that even he was at a loss. Well, Jaeoh’s father was a businessman, not Jaeoh himself.“There’s no way out other than Jung Yiyeon blocking it.”“Why would that person do that then?”It was a confident remark, but I was speechless when Jaeoh asked back. I couldn’t tell him yet that Jung Yiyeon had come to my house. I couldn’t even mention apologizing or suggesting we start dating. Even if I had rejected him outright, I couldn’t bring myself to tell Jaeoh. Everything with Jung Yiyeon was now just an embarrassing past to me.“…Or else why can’t I get a job? These newbies may have impressive resumes, but they only have internship experience, while I’m an experienced professional with practical experience.”“You’re an idiot for quitting the company without even thinking about your next move.”“…,”I clenched my teeth and glared at him. It wasn’t necessary to provoke him at such a time with words that hit me right where it hurt.Because of wounded pride, the last bastion I had been trying to bury and ignore kept coming back to my mind. And what was that last bastion? It was Jung Yiyeon’s promise regarding the resignation.Jung Yiyeon had clearly made a promise to me before we had any physical relationship. He had promised that if our relationship ever went sour and I lost my job because of it, he would help me find another job elsewhere.“…By any chance, do you know if our boss has a schedule for tomorrow?”“How would a mere rank-and-file employee know the boss’s schedule? Why? Do you plan on visiting?”“Jung Yiyeon mentioned to me before about potentially helping me find another job.”“…So you’re planning on going to see him?”Jaeoh frowned. Of course, I knew this was an unreasonable path to take. It was a relationship that had completely ended with Jung Yiyeon, so there was no reason to see him again.However, precisely because it was a completely ended relationship, could I not demand that he keep the promise he made back then?“Since everything is settled, shouldn’t there be no need to feel awkward?”“…Are you really… done with everything?”“Do I look like I’m trying to find an excuse to meet Jung Yiyeon?”“…Alright, forget it, whatever….”With my indifferent attitude, he hesitated to continue speaking. Honestly, considering everything I’ve done so far, it wasn’t unreasonable for him to misunderstand, but it was frustrating.I truly felt indifferent. It’s amazing how human emotions can change so abruptly, and I’m no exception. The days when I was infatuated with Jung Yiyeon now felt like a dream.Thinking of him didn’t make my heart flutter anymore. There was no sensation of warmth coursing through me at the thought of seeing him.It only brought a bit of discomfort from memories of the past. It wasn’t the same emotions of unfulfilled longing and pain from back then. Instead, it was a self-reproach for my lingering attachment, a sense of shame for clinging to someone who rejected me, and the humiliation I endured from Jung Yiyeon. The more I reminisced, the more I felt consumed by self-loathing.This is perhaps why the other side of the coin called love is hate. I loved him so much, but now I despise him. My true feelings were that I never wanted to be involved with him again.Some people might want revenge. But I didn’t even have the will for that. I just wanted to forget him as if he had never been a part of my life.“Ugh, should I get a part-time job…?”“What kind of part-time job?”Exactly. At my age, with this patchy work history, what kind of part-time job could I even get? I wasn’t in such dire straits as to resort to parcel delivery or loading and unloading work. If it came to that, where money became a pressing issue, I would apply to any position, even those with much lower salaries than before. But for now, with jobs still within reach, I couldn’t just scatter my precious resumes everywhere.“There’s really nothing else to do.”“…Then, I don’t know, try contacting someone.”Jaeoh muttered, his tone expressing strong disapproval. I jabbed him in the side, irritated by his sulky demeanor. “Just don’t.”He playfully slapped my hand, showing a childish side that hadn’t been seen in a long time, just when I was going through emotional turmoil and feeling broken. Perhaps, contrary to the usual image I projected, I seemed to enjoy acting like a child. Otherwise, how could that stubborn guy’s cute antics be considered adorable?“Are you in a bad mood now?”So, I teased him as if making fun of him. Jaeoh squinted his eyes. It was a playful remark, but for Jaeoh, it was a painful story. He muttered with a hint of sarcasm.“You should appreciate pretty words.”“So, you and Jung broke up?”“You bastard.”I was never one to swear at my one-year-older brother, but a curse slipped out of his mouth. I chuckled. What came next was Jaeoh pouncing on me.“Hey—”I was about to say ‘move,’ but Jaeoh pressed his lips firmly against mine. Despite the suddenness of the attack, the contact was surprisingly gentle. Maybe that’s why I didn’t have the heart to push him away forcefully.“…Want me to stop?”While locking eyes, he asked. Our noses were almost touching, and his scent invaded my nostrils. While waiting for my response, Jaeoh subtly ran his fingers over my body.“We’re not dating, you know.”“When did we ever date?”I couldn’t help but burst into laughter at the absurdity. What Jaeoh pointed out was that we had never officially dated, but we had intertwined physically many times. We had engaged in penetration several times, and foreplay was even more frequent.Oh… I had promised myself not to let this happen again after directly hearing his feelings.“Ugh…”I had reached for Jaeoh’s pants. As my hand delved inside, Jaeoh let out a low moan. Simultaneously, he smoothly pulled down both my pants and underwear. He skillfully moved his hands over the soft flesh.“Ah…”The body gradually warmed up. Taking a deep breath, I also grabbed and shook Jaeoh’s, something that I had frequently done until losing interest in others, entangled with Jung Yiyeon.A faint sense of guilt crept into my mind, knowing that Jaeoh wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings, but it quickly succumbed to desire.I had expressed my intentions many times. Despite that, Jaeoh, stubbornly clinging to my side, insisted that staying close to me was more comforting than being pushed away. Today, I clearly conveyed my intentions once again. We wouldn’t date. So… wasn’t this level of intimacy acceptable?“…Lee Nan….”The moment our eyes met, Jaeoh moaned my name. He moved closer, using his hand to gather both mine and his genitals. In the slightly slippery grip, both organs intertwined.I overlapped my hand with Jaeoh’s hand holding onto the genitals. Then, with my other hand, I spread my fingers and rubbed the glans with my palm. The stimulation was strong, causing Jaeoh to shudder and moan.His panting breath reached my lips. Lips met, molding together as tongues explored the wet and warm mouths.As Jaeoh leaned closer, sharing his warmth, I released my hand from his and instead embraced his neck. The kiss deepened. Lips pressed firmly together, mingling tongues and saliva.“Ah…”Since returning from Japan, I had been building up quite a bit too. Perhaps Jaeoh had been building up longer than me. Squirming sensitively, he made me feel even more aroused.Oh, it would be nice to thrust into Jaeoh. When I had embraced his body before, it had felt quite compatible.Lost in thought, I nibbled on his lips. His body stiffened in that moment. I applied more pressure to the hand gripping the two genitals quickly shaking them.“Ah…!”At the moment the genitals within the grip were forcefully squeezed and shaken, Jaeoh and I reached climax simultaneously. The sticky fluid splattered out. An obscene scent, like blooming flowers in the night, spread through the air.“Ah…”Jaeoh exhaled deeply, his slightly damp forehead touching mine. It had been a long time. Given the ambiguous nature of our relationship, it was just the right level of intimacy for us.“Get me some tissues.”When I gestured, Jaeoh moved to get the tissue. Leaning against the bedhead, he almost slid down as if to lie down, but he pulled himself up to sit. The languid post-climax feeling made my mind foggy.I wiped myself with the tissue he brought. After wiping himself first and fixing his clothes, he looked at me with a curious gaze, full of an inexplicable meaning.“Go sleep at your place.”My attitude toward Jaeoh remained consistent. Of course, it was different from the past since I allowed him into my house, but still, just like in the days when I suffered emotionally due to Jung Yiyeon, I didn’t let him sleep at my place. Jaeoh also didn’t insist on staying over.“…Really.”“Hmm?”“…Are you really okay now?”After hesitating, it turned out he was checking on my condition. My heart had been tormented and in pain due to Jung Yiyeon. I didn’t know when that had become okay, but Jaeoh seemed to have doubted my words until now. However, now that I permitted sexual contact, he finally seemed to believe me.Well, I did have a record of pushing him away, saying, “I can’t sleep with you because I have feelings for someone else.” I even cried a lot at that time…“Do I have to sleep with you to make you believe me?”When I smirked, Jaeoh looked even more confused. His uncertain expression made him seem younger than his age.“I don’t like being the one who gets screwed. I always hated that.”With Jung Yiyeon, it was okay because I liked him so much that I wanted to mix our bodies in any way possible. It felt good that he satisfied his desires through my body. Moreover, the pleasure when he held me was also enjoyable.But if it wasn’t that way, except for the times when I felt like getting screwed, I didn’t particularly want to be the one to yield. Who the other person was didn’t matter much.“How did things get sorted out like this overnight?”Jaeoh stuck out his tongue, a gesture of confusion. Yet, he also looked admiringly at me. It was a face that was genuinely happy because he no longer suffered from a love that couldn’t be realized.“I just came to my senses, that’s all.”I shrugged my shoulders in response. However, deep down, I thought to myself that I wouldn’t engage in sex with Jaeoh. That was because I liked the guy.I may not love Seo Jaeoh, but I do like him quite a bit. I feel grateful and sorry for him. Therefore, just like Jung Yiyeon did to me, even though I had no intention of progressing the relationship with him, I didn’t want to indulge in physical pleasure. Even if Jaeoh claimed to be okay with it, in such a relationship, it would be Jaeoh who would end up getting hurt. I didn’t want Jaeoh to be hurt anymore.Of course, it might not be appropriate to talk about kissing and touching each other’s private parts just after what happened. But all men, in general, become wise after indulging in desires and need a bit of distance.“So, can I boldly demand a job transfer from the boss?”I asked with a laugh, and Jaeoh laughed as if he couldn’t believe it. However, his expression wasn’t the uneasy or displeased one he had a while ago.“Yeah, come to the company next time.”Even though I mentioned going to the company to ask for a job transfer, there was probably little chance that I would actually go. Despite my words, Jaeoh looked like he didn’t believe me. But then, now that I allowed sexual contact, he seemed to finally trust me.I realized something just now.Now, I have completely forgotten about you.Sometimes, I might feel embarrassed and tormented by the foolish things I did in the past. However, the times of pain caused by you have come to a complete end. There is not even a lingering trace of your presence on my body. Now, I will embrace someone else in my arms and live my life.My heart felt completely relieved. I could comfort Jaeoh, who was hugging me tightly, with an indulgent heart. Jung Yiyeon no longer held any meaning for me.Even though I told him to go home, Jaeoh left work early for the first time in a while. He didn’t want to go home early, so he messed up my bed and lay down. Eventually, I ended up watching a randomly chosen movie at my place. While watching the movie, Jaeoh couldn’t let go of his phone, and suddenly, he suggested going out for a drink.It seemed that Jaeoh had been busy with work lately and hadn’t been able to meet other guys. Since everyone wanted to see Jaeoh and he had some free time today, they decided to meet up for dinner.Although I had some free time, I didn’t want to go out much because I didn’t have much money. Also, I had a thought that going to a place like Jaeoh’s fan club wouldn’t end well for me. However, since Jaeoh had already mentioned the idea of being together, and the guys who wanted Jaeoh to come out convinced me, I had no choice but to go out for drinks together.“So, are you two finally dating?”Taehoon, who couldn’t believe that Jaeoh, who was alone with me at my place, came out together, asked with an incredulous voice. I made a blunt expression.Jaeoh responded on my behalf. “Lee Nan, don’t you know the character? We’re dating.”“The atmosphere is strange. Weren’t you dying because of unrequited love when I saw you last time? Why are you so fine now?”“I sorted it out. What’s not fine now?”“As expected, Lee Nan. Seeing stuff like this, there’s no such thing as love? I’ve had some experiences like that too.”One of today’s drinking buddies, Hee-won, made a joke, and the others burst into laughter. Jaeoh also forced a smile, but it seemed like I was the only one who didn’t understand the situation.“You, yeah, you. Lee Nan. Why are you looking at me with such innocent eyes?”“What?”“When Jaeoh first brought you, didn’t I send you heart signs?”“Nonsense. Among you guys, who didn’t fall for me when they saw me?”“This guy, seriously.”They looked at me with bewildered faces and cursed at me. However, not a single one of them denied it.I always managed to leave a good first impression on others with my appearance. A good first impression naturally led to favor. And as if water flows, it led to sex.After my parents passed away, I regained my senses for a moment, but people don’t change. In my twenties, I had much less sense of morality than I do now. While lacking in morals, my sexual desire and stamina were overflowing. As a result, among this group, there were almost no guys who hadn’t slept with me. And in the midst of that, there was probably no one who had fallen for me not only physically but also emotionally.As the party involved, I completely rejected such emotions. If my bisexuality became known here, there would be some resentment. Nevertheless, the fact that they didn’t cut ties with me was probably because of Jaeoh.“Still, I didn’t have any false hopes.”I muttered as if making an excuse. Rather than feeling embarrassed about my age, I felt a fatigue of being tired. After experiencing Jung Yiyeon, I learned shame. Just as much as Jung Yiyeon treated me like a bastard, it was an undeniable fact that I had been a bastard to others. Now, I felt newly sorry and embarrassed about it.“No, you were like a knife, cutting off anyone who seemed a bit burdensome. You intentionally embraced someone else while clearly understanding their feelings.”“Isn’t that the right thing to do? Should I pretend to accept affection, use it to suck everything dry, and then discard it?”“That’s the worst. But you’re also something else. Unfortunate. You’re a bad guy.”Although everyone knew there was no definitive answer to matters of affection, they pointed fingers at me, laughing. I found it amusing and joined in the laughter. These weren’t particularly upsetting stories.“But why are you two at home together? Did you decide to live together?”Suddenly, Taehoon asked. He pretended otherwise, but he was quite straightforward. In the end, his sincerity was all directed at Jaeoh.“Sometimes we share a meal at home, that’s all.”“No, there’s something weird about you two.”Maybe it was because he worked at a broadcasting station or because he only had eyes for Jaeoh. Taehoon was too observant. Although we only had sex and a bit of petting, he pointed out that the atmosphere was subtle.Of course, I felt sexual desire for Jaeoh. He looked cute, and I was genuinely excited by the stimulation he provided. I thought it would be okay to have sex with him.However, if someone were to ask if that feeling was the same as the love I felt for Jung Yiyeon, it was definitely not. I did cherish Jaeoh to some extent, but it was closer to emotions like friendship or brotherly love.“Oh Taehoon, you have some serious problems with perception and taste.”As the conversation became awkward for both Jaeoh and me, I changed the subject.“What?”“Remember when you asked me to sleep with you?”“Hey, man! That’s—!”“Do you like me? Don’t deny it.”Taehoon’s face turned bright red. The others started making noise, asking if Taehoon had said such a thing to me. Amidst the laughter, Taehoon was left dumbfounded, unable to explain himself.The continued drinking session was quite cheerful and enjoyable. Even when drinking, there was always a heavy and painful corner of my heart, but now, that was no longer the case. Unlike the times when Jaeoh annoyingly stuck to me and took care of me, now I could accept it without any trouble.I had lived too gloomily and miserably. Why did I suffer so much over such a trivial crush? My past was ridiculous and embarrassing.I had quite a bit to drink in a cheerful mood. I could feel Jaeoh’s gaze, glancing at me. Perhaps he was worried that if I got drunk again, I would think of Jung Yiyeon and try to contact her and disappear.I also had some concerns until I started drinking. However, even now, when I was drunk enough to feel tipsy, I didn’t feel like contacting Jung Yiyeon. That made it even more enjoyable.“Oh, I need to use the restroom.”It was only the first round, but I was quite drunk. Jaeoh looked at me with concern. Since Jung Yiyeon’s number was not in my phone, even if I wanted to contact her, I couldn’t. I placed my phone on the table as if to show it to him and headed to the restroom.As I entered the restroom, the alcohol seemed to affect me even more. The floor was spinning. Still, I managed to finish my business and stood gripping the sink. Even washing my hands didn’t help me regain my senses. It was time to stop drinking and go home.“Hey, Lee Nan.”But someone called my name. I glanced at the door. It was Heewon, the guy who had spoken nonsense to me earlier. As I looked at him silently, he approached me and grabbed my wrist.I was pulled into the innermost stall of the restroom. He pressed me against the restroom wall and held my wrists on either side, trapping me within his arms.Am I seeing things because I’m too drunk? I stared blankly at Heewon in front of me.“What are you doing, Baek Heewon?”The guy, about 5-6cm shorter than me, looked at me with a strange smile. Didn’t this guy just talk about me having no manners? He held back his feelings and then tidied them up as sharp as a knife. So why did he suddenly drag me into the restroom with such a determined face?“Now that you’re drunk, I’m horny.”