Speak of The Devil

After standing under the hot water for a while longer, trying to break the chain of my delusions, I finally finished the long shower and left the bathroom, heading to my room. Although I called it my room, it was actually the living room. Our house had two rooms, but the smaller room was too tiny, so my brother occupied the larger room while I put a bed in the living room and used it as my own space. The smaller room served as a shared dressing room.This small house, which we moved into after our parents passed away, had been a long-standing home for my brother and me. The reason there were no inconveniences was that my brother was rarely home due to his busy work schedule. Even when he did come home, he would sneak in unnoticed, sleep, and leave again, so it was not much different from living alone.To think that after meeting his brother for the first time in a while, he put me in a chokehold. As I put on my shirt and looked in the mirror, I noticed my neck had turned red. It was a pathetic sight that made me sigh. But it was not enough of an excuse to call in sick.When I arrived at the office, Jung Yiyeon was already in the president’s office. I always arrived earlier than he did, so even though I got there before working hours, I felt like I had done something wrong. Look at how prepared and loyal a servant I am.I had been arriving a bit late since returning from Busan. It wasn’t intentional; I was just stuck in the loop of my delusional jealousy theory. I mentally shook myself to focus again.After tidying up my desk, I started my routine by bringing a cup of coffee to the president’s office. Placing the coffee on the desk of the man buried in paperwork was the first task of my day.Today, however, was a bit different. Unlike usual, when Jung Yiyeon wouldn’t even glance at me as I brought in the coffee, he was staring right at me.Because it was Jung Yiyeon looking at me, my heart was both burning with anxiety and fluttering like a schoolgirl’s in spring. Surely he wasn’t going to scold me for arriving later than he did.So, could it be… jealousy? Are you jealous? Is that why you keep looking at me? Are you crazy about me?“Secretary Lee.”“Yes.”“You don’t look well.”Could it be that I failed to manage my expression? My heart sank for a moment. Could my lips have curled up? Did I let a foolish smile slip? The thought naturally veered this way because it was imperative that he never discovered my feelings.But Jung Yiyeon’s concern was something else.“What’s wrong with your neck?”“Sorry?”I turned my head to check my reflection in the mirror in the corner of the office. I was startled. The red mark above my shirt collar was more pronounced than before. It was a conspicuous mark anyone would find odd.“Did your partner turn out to be a sadist last night? Is that your kink, Secretary Lee?”“Absolutely not.”“You’ve been arriving later than usual recently.”“My brother put me in a chokehold this morning. We had a fight….”Damn Lee Won. This gorilla with brute strength! It’s ridiculous that a sibling fight would leave such marks as if it were mixed martial arts. In such a short time, no less.He thought he was going easy on me because I was his younger brother, which was even more outrageous. I briefly mourned for his subordinates. But only for a moment. Right now, clearing Jung Yiyeon’s strange misunderstanding was my top priority.“And with my recent lack of sleep, I don’t have the stamina for nightly activities…. I’m not that fit.”“I thought I had given you enough rest.”Three days since we returned from Busan. Sure, we hadn’t had sex, but calling it rest seemed laughable given the relentless overtime.I couldn’t hide my incredulous expression. Jung Yiyeon smiled faintly. Then he pulled the end of my tie. As I reflexively bent down with the pull, he hooked his fingers into my tie knot and tugged.My expression as I stared at him blankly must have been quite stupid. The loosened tie dropped onto the desk. His long, elegant fingers unbuttoned the top button of my shirt.“Right now?”“You don’t want to? It’s been a while.”Goodness. Suggesting sex as soon as I arrive at work. True, we had free time until an external appointment around lunchtime, but still, with other employees around?Jung Yiyeon smoothly unbuttoned the second button and rubbed my collarbone with his fingers. His touch on my bruised neck was a blatant seduction. But instead of giving in, I grabbed his hand.“If you were going to give me rest, you should have let me leave work on time too.”Getting home at nine wasn’t exactly early. With a schedule like that, it’s only natural to feel exhausted. No wonder I’d lost weight and got an earful from Lee Won.“Is your house far from the office?”“About an hour.”It was a long distance. Public transportation took about 50 minutes to an hour. While my salary was decent, it wasn’t excessive enough for me to take taxis regularly. I didn’t have my own car either.“You have the spare key to my car, don’t you?”I had both the company car key and the key to his private car. Jung Yiyeon didn’t employ a driver and usually drove himself, so ever since I became his secretary, I was the one who always drove his car.“Use that to commute. Pick me up in the morning and we’ll come to work together.”Jung Yiyeon spoke nonchalantly. Telling me to use his car for commuting. A statement that was both considerate and indifferent.That one statement filled my chest with an overwhelming surge of joy. It was electrifying.“Hup….”My hand involuntarily grabbed the back of his head, pulling him towards me. My body moved on its own, and my lips pressed against his.Jung Yiyeon’s eyes widened in surprise at my sudden kiss, but I didn’t care. I tilted my head and deepened the kiss.I think I heard him laugh quietly. Soon, a warm hand cupped my cheek. I couldn’t afford to linger on a teasing kiss, so I pushed my tongue into his mouth, savoring his sweet taste.When he had suggested sex while unbuttoning my shirt and tie, I had found it absurd. But now, I too was deeply stirred. I wanted to embrace him.Telling me to use his car and commute together? That’s so sweet it makes my heart melt.As expected, Jung Yiyeon, you probably like me. You must like me. Initially, you said we should keep emotions out of our relationship, but just as clothes get soaked in a drizzle, your feelings for me seem to be growing. The only remaining step is for you to recognize and acknowledge these feelings.I rubbed my face against the hand cupping my cheek. The warmth felt so good that I let out a contented sigh. I wanted to strip naked and press my body against his right then and there.But another thought flashed through my mind: the basics of romance involve a push and pull. I wanted to make him anxious and desperate. If I played hard to get, making him yearn for me, wouldn’t Jung Yiyeon eventually admit his feelings for me?I hoped your heart would flutter as much as mine. This childish yet exhilarating desire stirred inside me.So when his hand began to slide inside my shirt, I grabbed it firmly and pushed it away. I also pulled back my tongue and lips, increasing the distance between us.“Not now.”My voice was thick with the heat and desire from our kiss, but I deliberately spoke with an unaffected, nonchalant tone. Jung Yiyeon, looking at me with a blank expression as if something had been taken from him, soon scrunched up his face. Suppressing a laugh, I reached out and gently rubbed his furrowed brow.“Let’s save sex for after work.”His face, looking as if he were about to die from frustration, was so adorable that I wanted to bite him.“So, how about leaving on time today?”How could someone be so cute? Unable to hide my smile, I let a small one slip as I offered him a taste of the carrot.“Ha. Secretary Lee, you’re really a competent secretary.”Feigning ignorance, I tilted my head. Jung Yiyeon grumbled, but there was a smile on his lips. The look of disbelief mixed with amusement on his face tickled my heart.“To think a secretary could boost his boss’s productivity this much.”Unable to contain my laughter at his expression, I chuckled. I usually maintained a poker face in front of him, but I couldn’t hold it now. Jung Yiyeon, too, laughed as he looked at me.A relationship focused on sex, not romance. Yet, this playful interaction was more thrilling and exciting than my first love. Every moment felt dangerously exhilarating.Calming my excited heart, I slowly returned to my usual expressionless state and adjusted my clothes. Stepping back from Jung Yiyeon, I meticulously buttoned up my shirt and tightened my tie.“Then, I’ll take my leave now.”I gave a precise bow and left his office as if I had no lingering feelings. Even as I exited, I could feel his gaze on the back of my head, but I ignored it.However, once I sat at my desk outside the president’s office, I anxiously checked the clock all day. Unfortunately, each time I looked, only five minutes had passed.He came out when it was just past five, and the end of the workday was approaching. We should have done it in the morning. The wait was too long, and I was on the verge of withering away. My only desire was to get off work quickly and indulge in all sorts of activities with him.But as the end of the workday approached, a call came in. It was from the lobby on the first floor. Someone claiming to be an acquaintance of Jung Yiyeon was there to see him. I entered the president’s office and asked.“Someone named Min Seowon is here to see you in the lobby.”“Who?”“He said his name is Min Seowon….”“Oh, let him in.”Jung Yiyeon chuckled as he spoke. Who was he to make Jung Yiyeon laugh as soon as he heard his name? Seeing his evident delight, I felt a strange sinking feeling. I was really in deep trouble.I called down to the first floor to let him up. After what felt like an eternity, though it was only a few minutes, the sound of the elevator stopping reached me. The door opened.In walked a young man in his mid-twenties with a confident stride. Looking at him, I thought of a flamboyant peacock. He had large, round, double-lidded eyes, a high nose, and plump, lipstick-red lips. He wore skinny jeans torn here and there, revealing bare skin, and a cherry blossom-colored blazer, which he pulled off splendidly. Instinctively, I knew.Min Seowon, this guy was gay.Before I could guide him, he walked right past me and boldly opened the president’s office door.“A-yo, bro.”I followed him in a daze, unable to stop him, my ears ringing with disbelief. I thought a hip-hop artist had entered.“Stop fooling around. When did you get back to Korea?”“Yesterday. Sneaked in without Dad knowing, and now I’m broke. Not a penny on me.”“Great job. And you come here? Ah. Secretary Lee, you can go. No need for the car.”They were in their own world. The sight of the young, obviously gay, handsome man interacting so familiarly with the man I liked made my stomach churn. But with my dismissal, what could a mere secretary do but leave?“But I missed you so much.”That was the last thing I heard before the door closed.He had sneaked back to Korea, saying he missed Jung Yiyeon too much.Thud. My heart plummeted to the floor. Feeling anxious and restless, I drummed my fingers on the desk. The sound of my nails tapping on the hard surface was annoying, but I couldn’t stop.I probably wouldn’t be able to leave on time, nor meet him after work. If it were just that, it wouldn’t be so nerve-wracking. The problem was that my gaydar had gone off perfectly for Min Seowon. I was sure his gaze and tone towards Jung Yiyeon were filled with emotion. He was blatantly flirting with Jung Yiyeon.Ah, damn it. Damn it all. And the worst part was that all I could do was silently curse in this lonely spot.They emerged about ten minutes later. Jung Yiyeon having sex in the office would have driven me crazy with all sorts of imaginations. Luckily, it wasn’t long enough for anything to have happened, but I had no idea what they talked about, which made my insides churn. I had a bad feeling.“Secretary Lee, you can leave now.”…I had expected him to say that.The attitude of easily breaking the promise made in the morning caused a surge of anger within me. I felt upset and disappointed that I was being let go so easily just because a new person had appeared. If the other person wasn’t that Min Seowon, I might not have felt this miserable. Watching the slender man clinging unnecessarily close to Jung Yiyeon made my insides burn with jealousy.But, of course, I couldn’t show any of it. I stood up as if nothing was wrong and asked in a steady voice, “What about the car?”I never thought that the emotionless mask I wore to hide my feelings for him would come in handy like this. The deliberately formal attitude I adopted now allowed me to treat him nonchalantly.“Oh, Secretary Lee will take it. Come to pick me up in the morning.”“Yes, sir. Have a good evening.”Jung Yiyeon nodded at me with gentle eyes as I politely said goodbye.Does he have any idea how much my insides are boiling? Or is he doing this on purpose to make me jealous? Watching them get into the elevator, I bit the inside of my cheek.“Oh? Then why don’t you just go to my place now? You can stay over.”“That would be uncomfortable.”“Oh, hyung!”The elevator doors closed. Min Seowon’s annoying whining voice and his warm, pleasant voice disappeared.I was left alone.Only then did I collapse into my seat. My head felt like it was going to explode. I should go home, too. It’s rare for me to get off work on time. I should go home and rest, or forget about Jung Yiyeon and spend a passionate night with someone else to spite him.But my legs wouldn’t move. I couldn’t move for a while because the image of him leaving with another man, disregarding our promise, wouldn’t leave my mind.***I barely slept.Jung Yiyeon had been eager to be with me since the morning. So, I kept hoping that he might just have dinner with Min Seowon and then call me over, which kept me awake.When I got a message from him at midnight, I quickly checked my phone, half expecting it. But it wasn’t what I hoped for. It was just a message with the password to his house, asking me to come by at the time he needed to leave for work.No contact after work, and then a message at midnight. It could mean anything. Was he with Min Seowon until then?If so, did they sleep together? Did he touch him all over, kiss him tenderly, and hold him passionately as he did with me?The thoughts swirling in my mind kept me from sleeping. I was exhausted, my eyes aching from checking my phone repeatedly. Just as I was about to fall asleep from fatigue, the image of a naked Jung Yiyeon and another man beneath him haunted me, chasing away any sleep.I shouldn’t care about this. We’re not in a relationship; we’re just sex partners. I knew that from the start, so there’s no reason to be this upset. I kept telling myself that, but it didn’t help me sleep.In the end, I faced the morning without a wink of sleep. I washed up and got ready for work. My face in the mirror was haggard and dry. I had to pretend everything was fine, but could I do it?I sighed deeply. My heart was heavy as I drove to his place. Even though it was my first time driving his car to work, I didn’t feel any joy like when he told me to use it the previous day.Since the car was registered at his apartment gate, I had no trouble getting into the parking lot. I parked and got into the elevator I had used before. As I got closer to his place, my heart pounded as if it would burst. My chest, carrying that heart, ached terribly.What if Min Seowon is there? I don’t think I can control my expression. Nervous and anxious, my mouth was dry.Finally, I reached his door.I was about to enter the password but decided to ring the doorbell instead. Jung Yiyeon opened the door shortly after.“Come in. You should’ve just come in.”He greeted me, wrapped only in a towel around his lower body, as if he had just finished a shower. Water dripped from his wet hair.And my heart bled like tears dripping down.His damp, bare body was completely exposed. His white skin, beautiful like the Torso sculpture in the Vatican Museum, had a red kiss mark near the collarbone. There were red lines on his back.They stabbed my heart like thorns. I felt utterly destroyed, shattered beyond recognition.I spent the whole night thinking, tormented by the burning jealousy of the possibility that he had been with another man, yet secretly hoping otherwise.But… so what.What can I say to a man who shows me the traces of his affair with another man without hesitation?What can I ask or tell him?What is the relationship between Jung Yiyeon and Lee Nan anyway?I couldn’t show my jealousy to him. I couldn’t let out the explosive anger inside me. I couldn’t even show that I was upset. I wasn’t allowed to. We were nothing.Yes, from the beginning until now. We were nothing.