Sunshine Shower

It was difficult to figure out through what kind of reasoning Woo Yeonjae deduced that I liked men.That was it.Moon Seoyoon couldn’t think beyond that. It felt like the sparks, which were mere specks in the night sky, burned up from his chest to his head, turning everything pitch black. It was hard to even twitch a finger, as if his brain had stopped functioning.Moon Seoyoon couldn’t tell if he was blinking or breathing properly. The only sense that felt real was vision, and except for the icy, hardened face of Woo Yeonjae, nothing else felt tangible.His darkened gaze slowly trailed down Woo Yeonjae’s face and settled on his neatly furrowed brows. Woo Yeonjae, who had approached swiftly, grabbed his hand.“Look.”Along with the warmth surrounding his wrist, a burning pain radiated from his ring finger. Woo Yeonjae’s gaze was fixed precisely on that spot. The belated realization made him grip his hand tighter.Moon Seoyoon reflexively tried to pull his hand away from Woo Yeonjae. However, either because his head wasn’t functioning properly, he couldn’t muster the strength. Instead, he marveled at how he managed to stand on his own two feet.Despite Woo Yeonjae’s grip not being particularly strong, all Moon Seoyoon could do was let his captured hand tremble slightly. Noticing his feeble resistance, Woo Yeonjae sharply looked up from his fingers. He seemed to have keenly sensed his pitiful defiance.“…No, it’s not like that.”Moon Seoyoon barely managed to speak the words caught in his throat. The bright red fingers and the even stiffer expression on Woo Yeonjae’s face didn’t matter much. His mind was filled with the thought that he had to deny it first.“Let’s look at your hand.”He panted instinctively. As Woo Yeonjae examined his hand, Moon Seoyoon bit his lip, staring down at Woo Yeonjae’s lowered black crown. The situation was far more unbearable than the tingling spreading under his thin skin.Woo Yeonjae’s question was abrupt and sharp. What to do? He couldn’t control his expression. Yet, fleeing from this situation would only imply affirmation to Woo Yeonjae’s question.As he trembled with anxiety, his fingernail grazed the skin where the cigarette ash had fallen, bringing a burning pain.“What are you doing?”Woo Yeonjae tightened his grip around Moon Seoyoon’s wandering fingers, his voice annoyed. Their proximity, both in their exchange of words and their intertwined fingers, was unbearably close.“Woo Yeonjae. It’s not like that.”His heart pounded so wildly that he could feel its beat even in his toes and fingertips. He was terrified that Woo Yeonjae might notice his madly racing pulse. He wanted to push Woo Yeonjae away and secure some distance to protect himself, but Moon Seoyoon couldn’t move freely.Maybe it was to be expected. He had never pushed Woo Yeonjae away before.Both Moon Seoyoon and Woo Yeonjae knew that. In a place teeming with people, it might be different, but in a situation where they were alone, forcefully pushing him away would seem overly sensitive. Now that he couldn’t push his hand away, he had to deny it with his voice at least.“You need to go to the hospital.”He didn’t have fragile skin like a child, and it was just cigarette ash. It wasn’t a severe enough injury to warrant a hospital visit. He couldn’t decide whether to say he was fine or use the hospital as an excuse to end the conversation.What was clear was that since the question of whether he liked men had come out of Woo Yeonjae’s mouth, it was something he had to resolve eventually.Moon Seoyoon hesitated, unable to make any decision.“I’ve parked the car, so let’s go to the hospital.”Interpreting his silence somehow, Woo Yeonjae gestured towards the empty darkness.“…Okay. I’ll go, so let go of my hand.”The warmth entangled around his wrist slowly dissipated.“Ha…”With a sigh, Woo Yeonjae ruffled his hair irritably. He then seemed to notice something, stopping midway in his movement. His leisurely shifting black sneakers stomped on the fallen cigarette butt beside Moon Seoyoon’s white sneakers. Then, he slowly bent down, picked up the extinguished butt, and threw it into the trash can.Moon Seoyoon fiddled with his wrist, where Woo Yeonjae had grabbed him, and blankly stared at his retreating figure. He felt like it wasn’t the cigarette butt that had been stomped and discarded, but himself.He recalled the bizarre expression of the doctor when a grown man came to the emergency room for a burn caused by cigarette ash. It was a relief that the ER was quiet. Moon Seoyoon, who almost became a nuisance, got a simple disinfectant treatment and then got into the car. The stifling silence continued, just like when they were on their way to the hospital.After fiddling with his bandaged finger a few times, he finally managed to speak.“Woo Yeonjae.”The eyes that were focused straight ahead due to driving slowly glanced at him and then returned to their original position.“I… I don’t like men.”He had only used the burn as an excuse to buy some time; it was a conversation topic that would inevitably come up again. During the silent trip to the hospital and while getting treated, Moon Seoyoon had barely made a decision. He decided to bring it up first.Though he didn’t have the confidence to act as if he hadn’t heard such a ridiculous statement or pretend that it was absurd, he had managed to steady himself somewhat. Once his brain started functioning again, he could control his breathing better. His heart was still racing, but since they weren’t touching as they were at school, he could somehow hide it.He also calculated that Woo Yeonjae, focused on driving, wouldn’t be able to stare at him intently. If he lied while making eye contact, he’d surely get caught, so now was the perfect time to deny it. Thankfully, his voice wasn’t as shaky as he had feared.“I don’t know why you suddenly have this misunderstanding… Honestly, I still don’t get it. So I have no idea where to start explaining.”Moon Seoyoon glanced sideways at the driver’s seat. Woo Yeonjae was still staring straight ahead. His expression, which had been neutral, was now slightly furrowed, indicating he was listening. Moon Seoyoon hurriedly continued his explanation.“Is it because I haven’t been dating? It’s a bit weird to get a girlfriend right away when you have to go to the military as soon as you turn twenty. Now that I’m in school… I’ll probably date someone if I meet the right person.”“So you’re saying you’ll date in the future?”For the first time, Woo Yeonjae broke his silence. They had just arrived in front of the dormitory.“With whom?”Woo Yeonjae turned to look at him as he asked. Was the distance always this close? Moon Seoyoon couldn’t bring himself to meet his eyes and looked down, making up a suitable excuse.“I’ll date a good person if I meet one.”“A good person, huh…”Woo Yeonjae repeated Moon Seoyoon’s words, twitching his fingers around the steering wheel. The next moment, the door unlocked with a click. Only then did Moon Seoyoon realize that Woo Yeonjae hadn’t trapped him inside.“I don’t know what misunderstanding you have, but stop thinking weird things. I was too flustered to speak properly. …I’m going.”Hoping that his actions didn’t look like he was running away, he opened the door. Although he had decided to deny it before Woo Yeonjae could ask again, he wasn’t shameless enough to drag out this uncomfortable conversation. Moreover, he had run out of flimsy excuses.Just as he got out of the car and turned to close the door, his eyes met Woo Yeonjae’s. He didn’t know how long Woo Yeonjae had been watching him, but his dark eyes were deep and unreadable.“Seoyoon.”At the soft call, Moon Seoyoon flinched.“Don’t you think I would have noticed your habits by now if I weren’t interested in you?”The eyelashes, which had been feigning calmness, trembled thinly.“If Moon Seoyoon thinks that, I’d be really hurt, you know?”“…”“We’ve known each other for years…”Woo Yeonjae let out a sigh that sounded almost like a sneer. The veins on the back of his hand gripping the steering wheel stood out.“We’ll talk again later. I’ll wait until you’re ready to speak.”In the end, Moon Seoyoon closed the door without giving any response.Bang. The sound of the door closing felt like a death sentence.